Fallocaust (The Fallocaust Series) (109 page)

“Killian!”

That was my name, who was saying it? My mind was only watching a collapsed corner store. Half of it had caved in, it looked like it had two faces, one normal the other a ruined mask of splintered wood, concrete and shingles. The door had been ripped off, the window a bare shell. The house was a face. It looked like it was screaming.

Screaming at me.
“KILLIAN?”

Breathing, breathing, breathing... foot steps, foot steps, foot steps.

My eyes turned away from the screaming house, just in time for him to pull him into his arms.

He was swearing, his voice was hysterical, I’d never heard such a tone from him. He made a noise... like he was choking. He smelled of vomit, his basement and stale sweat.

“What happened? Killian?” He pulled me away and took my jaw into his hands.

Just like Asher had. Asher... fuck. Asher, Asher.

Asher, Asher, Asher.

“Asher,” I sobbed, I felt my knees go weak. He steadied me and made me look at him. Oh god Asher had made me look at him, the entire time. Oh my god, last night... oh fuck, oh my god what had I done? What had I let happen. What if he finds out, I can’t have him hate me. I can’t have him not believe me. What if he thinks I’m lying?

“Where is he? Is he hurt too? Who hurt you?” Reaver demanded.

His eyes... black pits that seemed to cover his entire eyeball, I could barely see any white. He looked like a demon.

“Asher did.”

The silence was cold, like his hands on my body. I felt his fingers dig into my frozen goose bumped flesh. I stared at the corner store and watched it disappear from my vision as felt my head fall backwards. My mind saw colours as my legs became jello.

“RENO!” Reaver suddenly screamed, I felt myself get picked up. I cried out in pain as he started running with me. He held me tight against him, so tight I couldn’t breathe.

Reaver screamed his name again, each time he sounded more shrill and desperate. His voice was breaking, like mine did when I screamed.

“Reaver?” I heard Reno, he was out of breath. I could hear him gasping. “Reaver what happened?”
“Asher!” His voice was a strangled cry, the name half screamed, half snarled. I felt terrified, I started trembling from fear. I had never heard Reaver sound so unhinged, so angry. “ASHER!”

“Reaver... Reaver calm down.” Reno tried to take me but Reaver only held me closer. Finally he gave me up to him. “What did Asher do to him?”

Then Reaver’s black eyes fell to his hands, now exposed as he handed off my weakened corpse to Reno. They were streaked with red, wet red blood.

“Oh fuck... no,” Reno moaned. “Anything but that.”

Reaver’s eyes found Reno’s and then mine. I saw them blaze like a black sun. A cold fire, those obsidian flames. “Killian...” His voice had changed again, it dropped. It was a deep, hollow rasp. He had screamed the last of his emotions out, and now the shadows and the darkness were all that remained.

“Where is he?”

Where is he?
Where is he?

Not in the graveyard, not in the graveyard.

Not in the graveyard.

Notinthegraveyardnotinthegraveyard.

“Gone.”

Gone.

Reaver’s face darkened, he turned and started walking towards our house. He was walking away from me, he was leaving me? He couldn’t leave me now!
“Reaver!” I cried, my voice hysterical, but he didn’t stop. He kept walking.

“Reaver!”

Then Reno called after him. “Reaver.” he yelled. “You need to be with Killian right now, not me. I can’t replace you.”

Reaver kept walking, fresh tears overwhelmed my face and I buried it into Reno’s chest.

“Reaver, after everything you put him through; this is the least that you owe him.”

My boyfriend stopped, he turned around. The anguish back on his face. He walked towards Reno and took me back. “Get Doc to my basement... get Greyson... organize a hunting party but make them mercs I don’t want any residents to know. Tell the sentries to watch for him but nothing else.”

I think Reno must have nodded because a moment later Reaver was running with me again.

I looked up and saw his eyes heavy. I wondered if he was going to cry, I wondered if he was capable of it.

He held me in front of him as we both slid down the tunnel together. I tried to brace my feet when they hit the floor but they gave out. Reaver steadied me though.

He turned on the generator and laid me down on our bed.

Reaver brushed my bangs back, for a moment I thought he was going to lay with me. But the moment I tried to look into his eyes, he reflected his gaze.

I watched his back heave, his knuckles became white as his fists clenched. Then with a agonizing yell he slammed his fists up against the basement cement walls. He raised them and hammered them again and again, until the cement was streaked in red smears and splatters

He whirled around then and swept everything off of his dresser, before over turning the whole thing with one angry push. He gave out another terrifying scream. I began to feel afraid.

I started to cry as I witnessed him lose control right in front of me, I curled up as small as I could and sobbed.

“I’m sorry.” I heard Reaver say in the same strangled choke. “I’m so sorry.”

As I cried I felt his touch on my cheek, I drew back from the suddenness of it and I felt him retract his hand like he had just touched something electric.

I closed my eyes and tried to make myself disappear.

Asher was gone, never coming back. He had gone back to Skyfall... back to Skyfall. That’s how it would be that is how it will stay and we can all live happily ever after. I just had to get through everything I was feeling.

He didn’t rape me, he sodomized me but he didn’t rape me... that made it a bit better didn’t it? My fragmented mind went back to the bedroom. His mouth going up and down on my hard cock, his eyes fixated at me. I started back down at him. I came in his mouth. I lapped my semen from his palm like an animal. He had degraded me, humiliated me by drugging my own body against me, he made me his pet, his whore. He had brought me to my knees, made me submit.

He even showed how unworthy I was of him by not fucking me.

“I promise-” Reaver sniffed, his breath kept breaking up. His chest kept shuddering. “-I will devote my life to making this up to you. Killi, I’m... I’m yours to command forever. If you want me to leave Aras I will, if you want me to kill myself I will. Anything that will make you feel better. I’ll do anything.”

“Hold me,” I whispered to him.

With strong arms that could protect me from everything but myself and him, he pulled me close. I rested my head against his chest and he rocked me slowly. I closed my eyes and melted into him. Trying to will us to be anywhere but here, any time period but here.

I don’t know how long it was, but eventually we both heard the creak of the tank hatch. Reaver squeezed me tight and left me on the bed. Cold and alone.

I heard murmuring, and Doc’s voice. He only spoke in low sullen tones now, his usual cheery voice gone. They spoke together far away from my own ear shot.

“Killian?” Doc’s voice said softly.

I opened my eyes, I was laying on my side, blankets all around me.

I heard the door close, I didn’t know if Reaver was in the room with us.

“Killian... I understand this is the last thing you want, but I need to examine you. Reaver and Reno both told me you’re bleeding heavily.”

I sniffed, I let out a sob but nodded.

I felt the covers pull away, and I moved myself onto my back.

Reaver was there, he stroked my cheek and my hair as Doc prodded me. I bit my lip and winced as he found the tares inside of me.

When he was done, I heard the gloves snapping. “He won’t need surgery, but unfortunately he needs to starve himself for a few days or else bacteria in his waste might cause an infection. It looks like he used protection at least. We don’t need to worry about diseases.”

I had to tell him, I didn’t know how so I just said it. “He did it with a dildo, not himself.” I said feeling my throat tighten. “He made me do other things mostly.”

Doc’s brow furrowed but I felt Reaver’s hands tense against the side of my head. “Do you have any other injuries?” Doc asked.

“He hit my head a lot,” I said quietly. “And in the jaw.”

“I can feel bumps on his head,” Reaver said, I felt a gentle trace on my skull. “A few small cuts... I can take care of those.”

Doc picked up his bloodied glove and got up. “Nothing but liquids for three days and... I know you wont but...”
“You don’t even have to say it,” Reaver said uncomfortably. I was confused for a second, then I realized what they both were talking about.

“Two weeks at least, and gentle after until you know he’s physically okay, I wont even make an attempt at the mental okay.”

I saw the back of Reaver’s head as he walked him to the door. It closed almost fully and I could hear them murmuring amongst themselves again.

When Reaver came back he silently laid down beside me and held me again.

I turned around and let him hold me against his chest. I closed my eyes, I was so tired. I hadn’t slept all night, but my mind was still racing. Still a sordid movie of all the confusing events that happened last night. How can a memory be so fresh and raw in my mind but seem like it happened years ago? Not just years ago, to someone else on a distant planet.

I killed him...

A relieved breath escaped my lips before I could silence it. Reaver’s arms tensed around me.

“Say something,” he whispered, only a few inches from my ear. “You’re quiet, too quiet. Let me know you’re still in there.”

I wanted to say something to him, to let him know I would be okay, but only one thought was in my mind. “Are you okay?”

I heard the strangled choking noise again, and a squeeze so hard I felt my ribs creak under the pressure. “Why would you ask that?”

“He’s been drugging you.”

There was a sniff, and I was surprised to feel him nod. “I kind of suspected that this morning.”

“What do you remember?”

“Of last night? Nothing. I woke up covered in blood, piss and puke.”

Nothing prepared me for the relief I felt. He didn’t remember anything, he didn’t remember chasing me, yelling at me, or any of the horrible things he had wanted to do to me. He would feel enough guilt over what had happened to me last night. Knowing what Asher had been trying to make him do would ruin him. It would destroy what happiness he allowed himself to have.

I knew a perfect and quiet lie, one that would hopefully prevent any questions from ever being asked. “I saw him through the window, he was touching you. I confronted him and... and he took me to his bedroom.”

“I just... laid there and listened?”

My mind raced for an excuse. “He told you to go home and you did.”

I had to get back to his house... I had to find those voice recorders. I had to destroy them, tape over them, do something. They were in his room somewhere.

His cache box would be in there too... I could see what was inside of it. Maybe I could find out what that screen was, what those devices were and the papers. I could find out who he was.

“Reaver... don’t let them go in his house.” I pulled away and looked at him pleadingly. “Please? I... I don’t I can’t have them in his bedroom... finding those things. Please?”

Reaver kissed my cheek and he got up. I heard him in the living room on his radio. He didn’t come back right away though, I heard him rummaging and filling something with water.

When he came back he had some drugs with him, I tried to sit up but it was painful so I had to lean partially on my side.

Reaver very gently held the silver tray up to my nose, I inhaled some drugs and sniffed them as far into my brain as I could get.

Reaver stood in the corner as I laid back down on the bed. I pulled the blanket over me and stared forward. I felt him watch me, and I felt the fear and rage emanate off of his body. The two prominent feelings fighting for dominancy inside himself.

He wanted to leave, he wanted to find Asher and murder him. Like he had done Bridley, but Asher was already dead. Asher was buried on top of Perish. The rotting, greasy bones of Perish. I saw his ribs, I saw a swamp of dirt and decaying organs. He was dead, and I would never have to fight for Reaver again.

In the end had I been successful? I had... it hadn’t worked out how I had wanted it to, but in the end Asher was gone and Reaver was safe. The only person who had to physically suffer was me. Reaver didn’t remember anything from that night. Reaver would be okay.

While I was lost in my own thoughts, I saw Reaver leave the room and make noise outside the bedroom. Then after awhile, he came back in.

“I’m going to take your boots and socks off, okay?” Reaver’s voice was a gentle light in my ravaged mind. “Then pick you up.”

I nodded and I felt him unlace and remove my boots, then gently raise me. I heard a door open and then the echoed sound of the bathroom.

I gasped as he lowered me into the bathtub, more from surprise than anything. The water was warm, and full of bubbles. I could smell the intense scent of lavender.

“Is it too hot?” Reaver asked, his voice was caring and full of concern.

I shook my head, I could feel my chest start to untensed already.

Then he bathed me, wiping the blood gently from my face and my hair. Washing the stench of death, blood and the remains of Asher’s semen from my body. I could feel the warm water wash away the blood from inside of me as well. The stinging reminding me of the wounds deeper inside.

I leaned back and closed my eyes, relaxing more and more with every touch and caress of his body. His touch cleansed me more than the soapy water ever could. I had him back, he was mine now. No one would ever threaten us again, no one would try and control him again. He was safe and so was I.

When I felt his hand gently stroke my cheek, I opened my eyes and looked at him. “I love you.”

I whispered.

The look of agony he was trying so hard to hide on his face, broke through as I said those words to him. His chest and upper arms shook as his throat made the weird strangling noise again. His eyes broke from my own, and before I could think of stopping him he got up and left the bathroom.