False Hearts (41 page)
Authors: Laura Lam
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #United States, #Mystery; Thriller & Suspense, #Thrillers & Suspense, #Suspense, #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Adventure, #Cyberpunk, #Genetic Engineering
“Here. I wrote this, when I was inside. It was sort of a goodbye to you, I guess. When I thought I was going to freeze.”
I take it from her, not touching her fingers. I swallow. My mouth is so dry.
“It’s not very good, but it … explains a lot of it,” she says. “I’ll tell you the rest.”
“I know some of the rest,” I say quietly.
“Some of it was curiosity, but in the end it was all to protect you. Even if I did a monumentally bad job at it.” She pauses, ducking her head to the side. “They told me you were shot. Did it hurt?”
I give her a half-smile. “Like a bitch. But not as much as getting struck by lightning when I was in Ensi’s head.”
“What—?”
“Come on,” I say. “Let’s go home. Figure it all out. And then move on from here. Any more secrets I should know about?” I’m only half jesting.
“I don’t think so.” With a strangled sob, she throws herself into my arms. I wrap mine about her, resting my head on her shoulder. We’re both shaking. I hold her so tight, like I’ll never let her go. We have a lot to work out. To get beyond. To heal from. But we will. We have to.
We stand together, forehead to forehead, chest to chest, our scars aligning, and beneath our bones our mechanical hearts beat, beat, beat.
As with any book, there are a great many people to thank. This was a fun book to write, but it was a departure from my previous fantasy, so I was nervous. Many people helped me find the confidence to keep going.
Thank you to my agent, Juliet Mushens, for invaluable early feedback, always being in my corner, and being fabulous and amazing. Many thanks also to her incredible assistant, Sarah Manning (not the
Orphan Black
character). To my original acquiring editor, Julie Crisp, and to editor extraordinaire Bella Pagan, as well as Louise Buckley and Lauren Welch. Everyone at Tor, both UK and U.S. (thank you, Marco Palmieri), has been amazing to work with and so enthusiastic about my work—it’s been a blast.
I sent this book to so many people over many drafts and received so much great feedback that truly transformed
False Hearts
. Thank you to my husband, Craig, and two of my closest friends, Erica Bretall and Shawn DeMille, who always read my really, really ugly first drafts before I send them out to anyone else. Thank you to my mom and staunch cheerleader, Sally Baxter. Much gratitude to Kim Curran, Amy Alward, Katharine Stubbs, Cassandra Rose Clarke, Wesley Chu, Lorna McKay, Hannah Beresford, Mike Kalar, Jonathan Butcher, Nazia Khatun, Colin Sinclair, Vonny McKay, Lisa McCurrach, Katie Kemp (for neuroscience help specifically), Leah Woods, Justina Ireland, Tristina Wright, and Ann Godridge. Whether you saw the very early drafts or the nearly finished one, I appreciate you taking the time to read and tell me what you thought. Thank you to several sex workers who read scenes about Tila’s work and made sure I hadn’t unintentionally fallen into any stereotypes. Thank you to Nick Harkaway for the name of Sudice for the company when I asked for suggestions on Twitter. I think that’s everyone, but if I forgot someone because my inbox is too disorganized, I’m super sorry and I’ll buy you a coffee.
I did a lot of research for this book. The initial idea came from reading an article about Daisy and Violet Hilton and wondering what it would be like to be connected to someone every minute of every day, and how strange it would be if you found out your literal other half had kept something from you. Alice Domurat Dreger’s book
One of Us: Conjoined Twins and the Future of Normal
really impacted the twins’ view of being conjoined, their relationship to each other, and how they were perceived by the outside world, both within the Hearth and San Francisco. I was also inspired by Lori Lansens’s work of fiction
The Girls
. I watched a lot of documentaries and interviews with conjoined twins:
The Twins Who Share a Body
,
Abby & Brittany
,
Two Hearts
,
Bound by Flesh
,
The Twins Who Share a Brain
, and more. I asked a few twins about their relationships and also observed my twin nephews, Ruben and Kade. For cults,
Last Days
by Adam Nevill and
Whit
by Iain Banks were some fictional influences, as was the film
Martha Marcy May Marlene
, and documentaries such as
Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple
,
Jesus Camp
, and
Cults: Dangerous Devotion
gave me some invaluable insights. I also read numerous articles on various cults. I read
Mapping the Mind
by Rita Carter as a good resource on neuroscience, and I looked at the History Channel’s City of the Future’s entries for San Francisco, which inspired some aspects of my near-future city. I have a fuller list of resources on my website, if you’d like to learn more.
As ever, thank you to the readers who picked up the book and spent some time with Taema and Tila. You’re the reason I can keep doing this.
Also by
Laura Lam
PANTOMIME
SHADOWPLAY
MASQUERADE
Laura Lam
is the award-winning autor of
Pantomime
.
False Hearts
is her first speculative thriller. She lives in the United Kingdom.
Visit her at
www.lauralam.co.uk
or sign up for email updates
here
.
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CONTENTS
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
FALSE HEARTS
Copyright © 2016 by Laura Lam
All rights reserved.
Cover photographs from Alamy and Getty Images
A Tor Book
Published by Tom Doherty Associates, LLC
175 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10010
Tor
®
is a registered trademark of Tom Doherty Associates, LLC.
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-0-7653-8205-4 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-4668-8574-5 (e-book)
e-ISBN 9781466885745
Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at
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First Edition: June 2016
