False Start (Love and Skate) (11 page)

Hayes

The great thing about wrestling dough? You get arms like Tina Turner.

I woke at ten the next morning and had actually slept for the first time in a while. I blamed it on the fresh air and on the hoodie.

How weird would be to wear it on the date?

I shuc
ked the hoodie, my pajama pants and jumped in the shower. I used my favorite pumpkin spice soap and washed up as fast as I could. I’d need the extra time for my hair. I jumped out and dried my hair as fast as possible. I got a text from Vera asking if we were still on. I answered that we were but I worried about the possibility of being stuck in an aquarium with a fighting couple and a guy I’m dating.

A second date with a guy—I
kinda expected the Guinness World Record people to pop champagne and roll out a red carpet for me when Rex picked me up.

I put in all the particular product after straightening my hair and then barely had enough time to pick out something to wear before it was eleven. I didn’t want to go too dressy for a casual date but I also wanted to look hot. I chose a pair of
dark washed jeans, ones that I often didn’t wear because they were tight, skinny jeans, and I never found a reason to wear them. Pairing them with a soft Henley with lace sleeves and a pair of Chucks, I scrambled to throw on some make-up and get downstairs.

I hated to be late.

I hated when other people were late.

When my feet hit the floor, there was a knock. He was right on time. He probably didn’t know what a big deal that was.

I flung the door open, “Hi.”

“Hey, you look great.” He did too, but he also carried a disappointed face.

“What’s wrong? You look deflated… Wait, I’m so rude, come in.”

He stepped into
the doorway, hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his toes and heels.

“Falcon said it’s not a good day to visit the babies. Reed’s really tired or something.”

“Oh, well, that’s fine. Is that why you have that long face?”

“Yes. I just didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“No way, it’s fine. I don’t blame her. I’d probably shun the world if I had twins. So, do you want to hang out here or just go to lunch early?

“Let’s just go eat early.”

A new glow consumed his face, “What? Did you think I would cancel the date or something just because plans change? I’m a pantser. It’s no sweat, really.”

He chuckled, clearly relieved, “A
pantser?”

“Yes, I fly by the seat of my pants. I’m not hard to please.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” As we stood there and stared, I just knew he and I were talking about one thing but thinking about another entirely. And I usually made sure to look people in the eye when they talked to me, but I couldn’t help but watch as his mouth formed different words.

“So, where are you taking me today? I was impressed with the Asian place, by the way. I was mostly impressed that you ordered grown up food.” I grabbed my purse and began to head out.

“It’s kinda chilly outside. You might want to grab a jacket.”

Then he shrugged like it was no big deal.

“Ok, thanks.” I pulled a light jacket down from the hook behind the door and went out. He closed my front door behind him and then twisted the knob to make sure it was locked.

I wished guys knew how much
the little things mattered. Rex? He got all the little things just right.

We got into his truck and as he shifted it into gear he asked, “So, tell me about what guy ordered kids’ food.”

“Wait, that’s like a rule, right? I’m not supposed to talk about past dates?”

Rex drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel to some invisible beat, “You are a contradiction. First you say you’re a self-named
pantser, now you’re talking about rules. Pick one.”

He was laughing the entire time he said it and I realized what a frosted flake I must seem like.

“Just tell me what asshat took you out and then ordered the Happy Meal.”

“His name was Rob. I didn’t know people were still named Rob.”

He shrugged, “Vanilla Ice’s real name is Rob.”

I sat dumbstruck for a few seconds after that. That was one random fact I didn’t need to know.

“So anyway, first he couldn’t remember my name. He kept calling me Haley. Then he was snorting his snot up into his sinus cavities and then, the piece de resistance, he ordered chicken strips and fries from the kids’ menu on the back. I thought for a minute he was gonna whine about his blue, yellow and red crayons so he could do the maze. I wanted to push the chicken strips up his nostrils so he couldn’t hock snot anymore and use those crayons to write my name on his forehead. There’s just no excuse for a grown man to order chicken strips.”

I realized halfway through that I probably should’ve been less graphic. Everyone said I was always too graphic, too morose,
and too gory. I supposed it was the product of one too many zombie movies and episodes of The Walking Dead.

“Sorry. I’m too graphic.”

He said nothing until we finally parked at what looked like a laundromat turned restaurant. I could see the red and white checked vinyl tablecloths from the truck.

“You wouldn’t have to be graphic if that guy hadn’t treated you like
that. Plus, I kinda like how you describe everything. What a jerk. He didn’t know what he was missing out on.”

“Thanks,” I said, muttering.

He pointed to the place in front of us, “So, this looks like a dump, right? Wrong. It’s owned by one of Falcon’s clients and she told us to come in for a meal on the house once. So we did. The—best—Philly cheesesteaks on the planet. Trust me?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

We walked in and a large woman came around the counter cawing and cackling at the sight of Rex. Her apron got the brunt of her greasy hands as she ran over to him and smothered him in a hug. As per the usual Rex, it took him a few seconds to defrost before he patted her on the back several time. She reached out and pinched his cheeks a few times and went on and on about how handsome he was before she even noticed me.

“Rex, who did you bring to see me?”

His cheeks were red from the pinching and he cleared his throat, “This is Hayes,” he enunciated my name, reminding me of Vanilla Ice and how he didn’t. “Hayes, this is Mrs. Blanchard. She owns the place.”

She did not appreciate his introduction as she propped her fists on her hefty hips and slapped him right on the butt.

“If my husband ever dies, I’ll own you too. Remember Hayes, he’s only yours temporarily.”

I giggled at the woman who was a little bit joking and a lot
not
joking.

“I’ll remember that. But he’s been raving about your food.”

“That’s right. My boy knows where his bread’s buttered. Let me go make you two some of my best. Find yourself a table and there’s napkins if the smell makes you drool too much.”

I laughed at the imagery of Rex being the bread and this boisterous woman buttering him.
He chauffeured me to a table in the corner, a booth with a slick seat and a sticky table.

“You should’ve warned me at least. I didn’t know I had such stiff competition.”

Looking at me under the canopy of his brow, he rumbled, “Trust me, there is nothing stiff about her kind of competition.”

And that’s when I realized how funny he was.
He was leaned over the table, his shoulders bunched. His eyebrows were a little scraggly but to me it was a good thing. Boys who had perfect eyebrows worried me. Like potentially they spent more time primping in front of the mirror than I did. Like maybe they judged all people by the shape, context and clarity of their eyebrows. Any moment, you could be striking up a competition and they and two of their friends would suddenly hold up white cards with your score.

He looked like he wanted to kiss me. Hovering he moved in closer, his eyes on my lips, my eyes on his eyes.

“No lunch if you kiss my man!” Mrs. Blanchard interrupted all the way from the open kitchen window. I backed up, laughing with my hands in the air. I had been arrested and read my Miranda rights.

Rex backed away, scrubbing a hand over his face, “Remind me to get our orders to go from now on.”

Next time, that was a new thing to hear.

“I will.”

“How long have you been friends with Vera?”

“Since forever. When we moved she was my first friend in high school. But shortly after she met Colt and they’ve been inseparable ever since. But then after we graduated she went to school and he went to work on the oil rigs. It’s hard on her with him being gone all the time.”

“You never talk about you when I ask you questions. Last night or this morning, you talked about Vera and your sister. Tell me about you.”

And then I was saved by a foot long steaming steak sandwich with tons of cheese, onions, and peppers.

“Enjoy!” Mrs. Blanchard cooed at Rex.

He stared at me, waiting for me to further the conversation, but instead I stuffed a huge bite into my mouth and then immediately regretted it. The roof of my mouth burned and stung as the meat and cheese mixture touched it. I reached for
a drink, but there was none.

“You’d rather burn your mouth than talk about yourself—nice.
By the way, try not to burn your lips. You’ll need those later.”

Then I almost choked.

He got up and run/walked to the counter and ordered some drinks, we’d forgotten to get any. He came back seconds later with two glasses of lemonade, no ice.

Yes, with Rex doing all of those cute little things, I would definitely need the use of my lips later, even if I had to pin him down with my dough muscles and lay it on him in surprise.

“Thank you.”

“Sure.

He sat down next to me and ate all of his onion rings first. He was a lot smarter than me who just stuffed her mouth full of blistering cheese.

Wiping his hands after polishing off the last one, he cleared his throat. “I feel like I should apologize in advance here. I formally pre-apologize for anything I say in front of your friends or, more what I’m infamous for, do not say. I’m better one on one.”

I laughed. A pre-apology. He should round up all of my other dates and teach them about the pre-apology.

“Don’t worry. Vera will take up most of the air space talking.”

I ate as much as I could and then he polished off the rest. He tried to pay but his sugar mama waved him off and then slapped him on the butt again as he walked away.

“She likes your ass.”

“No kidding. It’s worth it for the sandwiches though.”

He opened my door for me and then went around and we started towards the Aquarium.

“We’re early,” I tapped on the digital clock on the dash.

“Better early than late. We can go in the tunnel and wait for them.”

“You’ve been here before?”

“You’ve met Scout?”

I laughed, “You’ve probably been here thousands of time.”

“Yes. Because Uncle Rex is a pushover. He buys her one of those huge sharks or whatever
other stuffed animal she can find every single time. Ugh,” he shook his head.

“That’s so cute.”

“Cute? Do you see this beard? Do you see these tattoos? Not cute.”

He reached over and tickled my ribs as he spoke.

“Okay, okay, I give. You’re rugged and manly and so bad ass I can’t even stand to be in this truck anymore.”

I got out quickly, laughing but inwardly extremely uncomfortable with him touching
me so close to what lay beneath the surface. I never had to worry about that before. But I knew this relationship would have some kind of progression. And I craved it. Moving beyond the chit-chat and into the difficult conversations—that’s what I looked forward to—the depth.

But with that would come admitting things—things I’d only told counselors
and my parents. Hazel didn’t even know the half of it.

“Let’s go in,” his hands were in his pockets, but I’d have to push this if it were to go anywhere.

But he wouldn’t get his damned hand out of his pocket.

Stubborn as a mule.

Rex

Coon shit in shallow water,

Licked his ass and ran for the holler.

I’d been there so many times before with Scout. The sharks and eels no longer held the same awe as before, mostly because there was a new fascination right next to me. I held my hands stiffly in my pockets,
absorbing her facial expressions as each new animal swam by. Hayes seemed to find joy in everything—except talking about herself.

It was probably a small thing, holding a girl’s hand. Her hand became my only focus, staring it down hoping it would give me permission.

What’s the worst she can do—tell me no?

That might just be the end of me.

I wasn’t good at coy, so I just inched closer, taking my hand out of my pocket until our fingers touched. It was a new thing for me, aching to touch someone and be touched in return. I usually avoided it at all cost, but I could feel the sprouting of sweat beads on my forehead. How was I ever going to kiss her if just the thought of holding her hand had me reeling this badly?

Hayes turned swiftly, and then broke out in a squeal and ran to hug a girl, who I assumed was Vera. Then she gave the man with her, Colt, I thought, a non-emotional side hug. She didn’t look too happy about even giving him that, but then conjured a smile when her face was back in view. She didn’t like him very much. Surely there was more to the story than just an
over possessive husband. Introductions were made and handshakes were exchanged. And if I thought I was nervous before, I was out of my mind nervous then.

“So, Rex, tell me why you think you even come close to deserving to date my best friend,” Vera blurted out.

I squirmed. I should’ve known the date would be more than just viewing marine life.

“I don’t.”

“What,” Hayes squeaked out at me.

“I—I don’t deserve someone like you.
So there’s no point trying to prove a nonexistent point.” I shrugged trying to make the bastardly comment a little smoother to digest.

“Don’t say that.” Hayes whispered to me. But it was true. I was one degree too scarred, one cut too jaded, one bruise too worn for a girl like her. Plus, I shouldn’t be leading her on. I didn’t believe in the lovey
dovey shit. I didn’t.

Who are you trying to convince, Rex?

“Oh God, I think I’m gonna vomit,” Vera said, completing the drama with a finger down her throat.

I shrugged, not knowing how to answer.

“Can we just get this over with?” Colt said, speed walking ahead of us.

“He’s pissed off. Just ignore him. Rex, since my husband’s in a hurry, can I talk to you alone for a second?”

“Sure,” I answered and Hayes rolled her eyes and went ahead but away from Colt. I’d assumed they were all friends before this lovely double date.

“So listen, I know she thinks you’re probably made of gold since you’re the only one who has made it to the second date, but she’s a fragile one. She doesn’t like to talk about the things in her past, so don’t even ask. And I’m assuming she asked you to her family dinner tomorrow?”

I nodded. If this was the kind of friend Hayes had, I’d hate to see her enemies.

“So her sister Hazel hates her, blames her for ruining her life back in high school. She will give you hell. If I were you, I would decline the invitation. Seriously, you can’t even tell me why you are dating Hayes, what are you
gonna say to her Dad?”

I shrugged again, but with just one shoulder, hoping to mask my insecurity under its one bounce.

“Look, you seem like a decent guy. Say no to the dinner if you want to keep dating Hayes. If you’re already bored with her like the rest of them were then just go and wait for the train wreck.”

Then she left me standing there while she caught up with her husband. She tried to weave her arm through his but he waved her off. In addition to my regular worries about my social deviancy, Vera had just added injury to insult. Letting my beard take the heat for my anxiety I stared at the shark, pretending to be interested while I thought it through. I could see Hayes down the way, doing the same thing, stealing glances my way every once in a while.
I shoved my hands back in my pockets. That was it, my shot at the girl I’d longed for was over.

I walked over to Hayes, gave her my best half-smile and we went through the rest of the aquarium in silence. I wondered if she knew what Vera was going to say to me. Maybe she was the one who made her say it, just wanting a different approach at getting rid of me. My brain and my heart were battling what to do next. As we approached the gift shop, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

“I’m sorry, it’s Falcon.”

She motioned for me to take it. I answered and Falcon told me Reed was feeling better and we could come visit if we wanted to.

“They said we could come visit the babies if we had time.”

“Yeah,” she said looking at her watch. “I thought we’d be here a lot longer. It’s only one and Vera and Colt practically ran through the place after she told you whatever she told you.”

“So you didn’t tell her to say those things?”

“No, what did she say?”

“Well, I think she has your best interest in mind.”

Either that or she was a real B word that
I tried never to use to describe women.

“You’re acting weird.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just stop it. Whatever she said to you doesn’t matter. Can we just go back to how you were before?”

“Back to the tunnel when I was overthinking holding your hand?”

Hayes’ eyes turned a little brighter when she was happy. I’d seen it several times and at that point, her eyes put the entire aquarium to shame. Hell, they put the oceans themselves to shame.

“What’s to overthink?”

“
My general lack of knowhow and awkwardness.”

She massaged her bottom lip between her teeth. It was so easy to pretend she was warming them up for mine. And then I remembered I was too challenged to even hold her hand. I needed to grow a pair and quick.

Then she reached out and made the decision for me. Her small, cold hand fit in mine perfectly and as she laced her fingers between my fingers I realized how strong that tiny hand was.

“There—now there’s no more decision makin
g.”

If she only knew. One decision down, thirty thousand more to go.

We got in my truck and headed over to Falcon and Reed’s house. I texted him, alerting him that we were in the driveway. He opened the door and waved us in. Opening Hayes’ door, I could see her smile already, waiting to see the babies.

“Victory and
Veyda, right?” She questioned me approaching the door.

“Yeah, Victory is with the green eyes,
Veyda is with the blue eyes.”

“Got it.”

We passed through the threshold and Falcon was holding the door open, ready to close it silently. Hayes magnetically went straight for the baby cradle, whatever it was called, and did a noiseless dance, excited to see them in person.

“Can I hold one? Or both? Please?”

Falcon chuckled, already used to the attention they got. “Of course.”

She clapped, again without making a sound, “I’ve got to wash my hands. I don’t want to get my germs on them!”

“Go in the hall, make a right, first door on the left.”

“Yay!” she whisper squealed and ran from the room on her tiptoes.

“Is Reed okay?” I asked Falcon. I didn’t understand how she’d gone from completely exhausted to fine with visitors in a matter of hours.

“She’s resting now. We’ve made some changes today so she can get more rest.”

“Like what?”

“Come on, Rex. It involves boob milk. You really want to know?”

“Nope—nevermind—I’m good.”

He laughed, “Yeah.”

Hayes came back in. I took a turn washing my hands after her. Hayes looked again for confirmation from Falcon who nodded to her in response. She lifted Victory fluidly and gracefully, no instructions needed. She held her head just like she was supposed to and then looked left and right for a chair to sit in. I waved her towards the couch for selfish reasons, simply because I wanted to be near her. She sat and for thirty minutes she cooed and slid a gentle finger along the baby’s forehead, the bridge of her nose, and she counted the dimples in the knuckles of her hand while Victory slept.

“She’s gorgeous, Falcon.”

“Thanks. We think they’re pretty damn great.”

“If you want to go grab a shower or whatever, I’m fine here. I know the baby zombie look when I see it.”

He smiled and now I wanted to see how she knew so much about babies.

“I am
gonna grab something to eat and check on Reed. Thank you.”

She nodded, still locked on Victory’s face.

“How do you know so much about babies?”

“My sister Hazel was born when I was seven. My mom had another baby when I was fifteen, but she died in her crib when she was
eight months old from SIDS. But she was born on the last day of the ninth grade so I helped take care of her all summer.”

Even in telling the story she never stopped stroking Victory’s fine hair.

“What was her name?”

She smiled at me, like I’d just asked the best question. “Harmony.”

“All H’s.”

“Yes
and my mom is Hannah. Do you want to hold her while I get the other one?”

I squirmed, dropping a baby on its head in front of the most perfect girl in the world wasn’t really my idea of a good time.

“Of course you do.” She handed Victory over to me who started sucking on invisible bottles again.

Minutes later she sat down with
Veyda who wore an identical white one piece number with pink zebra print socks.

“I love babies. There’s all that potential, you know?
They don’t worry about anything other than eating and sleeping. They have their whole lives ahead of them. No one’s lives to mess up just yet.”

She was so serious, long gone was the girl who was the constant optimist. She’d been replaced by a solemn version, directly juxtaposed to the one I’d so briefly known.

“What do you worry about?”

“Hmmm…” she rocked a little as
Veyda stirred, “The past. I worry it will haunt me until I die.”

“Me too.”

We shared a staring moment, one where a depth of connection buried the shallower ties like music and movie preferences.

“You’re
gonna have to tell me about that one day,” I whispered to her, hoping the lower level of volume could coax her.

“I could say the same for you,” she said, nudging me with her shoulder.

“I’ve never told anyone, not even Maddox knows it all.”

“No one ever knows all of another person’s secrets, no matter how close.”

“You believe that?”

“Don’t you?”

“I did. I don’t anymore.”

She rocked the baby again when she stirred, “And now what do you believe?”

I cleared my throat. Never in my life had I carried on such an intense conversation. It felt like bleeding out, but bleeding out never felt so freeing. Bleeding out also stung a little.

“I believe there’s some people who do get clo
se enough, burrow under the skin, see through the camouflage, crawls over the walls…”

“Melts the ice,” she offered.

“Yeah, melts the ice. Then it’s fine to tell them everything because if you trusted them enough to let them in, then there’s no getting out. Once they’re in, they’re in.”

Falcon came in a few seconds after I finished my ridiculous soliloquy.

“I’m gonna heat the bottles. Can you guys hang out for that? I know you’ve got a bout tonight.”

“Actually, I’d love that. It’s been a long time. And all I need to do is grab my bag
, get something to eat and I’m ready.”

She looked at me for the okay and I couldn’t resist. If she wanted it, it was hers—all of it.

Falcon put powder and water into bottles and placed them in machines plugged in, heaters, I assumed. He came in later with bibs and draped some cloth thing over my shoulder.

“Here for my
Veyda and this is for my Victory.” He kissed each baby on the forehead as he handed us the bottles.

Hayes was immediately engrossed, speaking to
Veyda through the gulping. Poor Victory, she just got me, who barely knew how to feed her.

“After two ounces you have to burp her.”

“Oh, okay.” I mimicked her posture, placing the baby sitting up, leaned against me, holding her chin and patting her back with the other hand.

“This looks painful.”

Hayes laughed, “It’s not. What’s painful is a baby with gas. Trust me, keep going until she lets it out.”

“If you say so.”