Fandango in the Apse! (30 page)

‘Is that why you backed off… after that first time?’ I could hear the
hurt in my voice.

‘That was such a shit thing to do, Katie, I’m so sorry.’

‘Why did you do it?’

‘You are a beautiful woman, Katie, I assumed you had changed – been
dating – when you said I was the first since your husband, I realised what we
did must have been a big deal for you.  I knew you wouldn’t have slept with me
unless you had feelings for me. You have to understand, I was still denying my own
feelings then.’

‘And now?’  I hardly dared ask the question, but I had to know. 

‘Now… we are different people, Katie.  Now I need
to be the man
you want.’

‘What about the woman, the one you were with at Mark’s party?’

‘I took her because I thought you would be with the man I saw you with. 
I needed someone to keep my mind off you.  It didn’t work, especially when you
never showed up.  I was imagining all sorts.  I took her home, Katie.  I
haven’t slept with anyone since we split up.’

‘I love you, Robbie.’ God, it felt so good to finally say that.

He kissed me then, and my heart almost burst in my chest.  Was that all I
had ever needed?  It seemed so, because all thoughts of surgery or anything
else, drifted to the wind as I held the only future I would ever need or want, in
my arms.  It was as if Robbie’s love had washed away the past, the hurt, the
feeling that I was not worthy.  Robbie Collins loved me… for the first time in
my memory, I felt completely free.

‘Katie?’ Robbie said against my lips, sometime later.

‘Mmm…’

‘I would have killed that surgeon if he had touched your face.  The
thought of it makes me feel sick.’

‘Hush, let’s forget about that now.’

‘OK, but will you do
something for me?’

‘Of course,’ I replied, snuggling closer to him.

‘Will you wipe all that pen off your face, it’s really disconcerting.’

            ‘Oh shit! I forgot about it. I was just about to do it when
you burst in the room.’
I cringed, burying my face in my hands. 

Robbie roared with laughter.

I had just
accepted an offer on Lilac Cottage and I was busy in Robbie’s lounge, which was
also mine and the boys’ lounge now.  I was placing vases of colourful flowers
around the room, which had undergone a few changes since I’d been living with
Robbie.  The addition of a couple of rugs and colourful cushions had
transformed the room.  Robbie was very forgiving about my inability to live in
a minimalist fashion and took all the changes in his stride.

            He wandered in and put his arms around me from behind.

            ‘That was Julie on the phone.’

            ‘Oh, what did she have to say?’  I had spoken to Julie a few
times in the previous months, she was happy Robbie and I had finally sorted
ourselves out.

            ‘She wants you, me and the boys to go down there for a
visit.’

            ‘Oh, that’s nice, did you agree?’

            ‘No.’

I turned in his arms to look at him. ‘Why not?’

            ‘I asked them all to come up here instead.’

            ‘Oh, even better.’

            ‘I told her to bring a hat.’

            I frowned. ‘A hat… why?’

            ‘Well, to wear of course,’ Robbie grinned.

            My heart began to skitter in my chest. ‘Robbie…?’

He sauntered over to the sofa and plopped himself down.  ‘Yeah, I’ve been
thinking it’s about time I had a piece of paper that tells the whole world how
much I love you. ’

I could see him brace
himself as I shot across the room and hurled myself into his lap.  ‘Really? 
You want to marry me… are you sure?’

            ‘Katie, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, so
what do you say… will you have me?’

            ‘Yes, yes, yes!’ I laughed, kissing every part of his face I
could get hold of.

A long while later, we were still cuddled on the sofa, when Robbie made a
suggestion.

‘We could get married in the church in Retford, it’s nicer than the one
in Beckingham.  We should go see the priest.’

‘Do you mean the Catholic one?’

‘Yeah, you’re Catholic, aren’t you?’

‘Robbie, if I were to say that I
really
don’t want to do that,
would you mind?’

‘No, of course not – I was just thinking of you.’

‘Good – a civil ceremony it is then.’

***