Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets) (14 page)

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Longest forty-eight hours came nowhere close to the twenty-four more that followed it.  It was reassuring that she had made it through the forty-eight hours.   Jack kept trying to reassure me, but reassurance wasn’t what I needed.  What I needed was Colleen.  The conversation I had with Jason comes back to me.

“I know that look.” Jason said as he walked into the room.

“What look?”  I asked, not looking away from Colleen.

“You’re in love.  It’s the same look I had when I realized how much I loved your sister.  When I stopped fighting the fact that I loved her
and embraced the fact that I did.”

“
This is crazy.  The main part of us being together was talking on the phone.  How could I…”

“Carson, one thing I have learned is that we all have one person we are meant to be with.
  When we find that person all it takes is a look, a laugh, a smile…whatever it may be.  Then, as much as we reason with ourselves other ways, for why we feel this way.  In the end, something happens and we are forced to see it for what it is. Mine happened when I was shot.  Yours…”

“I can’t tell her.”

“I know.  Just remember though, the longer you keep it to yourself, the more opportunities you miss hearing them in return.  Don’t tell her now.  It would be forever clouded with this, but you do need to say it man.”  He said before he left.

That man was head over
heels for my sister.  He was wise.  I do love Colleen.  It was obvious to me in my constantly wanting to talk to her and then needing her to hear me out. 

“
Angel, I need you to wake up for me.  I miss you.”

Lying back down next to her I began to sing “Who Needs The World” by Nick Carter again.  It really did fit how I felt about her.  Completely exhausted, I started dosing off.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

~COLLEEN~

My head was pounding.    Sounds started filtering in through the pounding.  Someone was singing…and well.  I tried to get lost in the lyrics, but my head hurts too much. The last thing I remember was running into Carson’s arms after being attacked.

“Carson…”

The singing continued, but seemed to trail off at some points or my head was pounding that hard.  The tone in his voice, the warmth I felt, I knew Carson was the one singing.  Singing was definitely in their blood.

“Mary’s not the only
one that can sing.” I breathed.

The
bed jerked and I groaned in pain.  An apology came almost immediately and I felt his hand run on my face.  A tender kiss followed the tender, touching.  I had to fight to get my eyes to open.  When I did I was greeted with the face that I knew was there.

“Carson…”

“Hey Angel.  I’ve missed you.  You’re not allowed to scare me like that again.  Deal?”

I started to nod my head, but stopped when the pain worsened.  “
Oh, I feel like shit.”

“You should
, you were hurt badly.  Why didn’t you call me?”

“I couldn’t exactly use the phone when I was being beaten in the head with a bat, now could I?”

“Can you tell me what happened?”  He asked sadly.

“I got in
, turned the lights on and watched you pull off, turned around only to be hit in the head with a bat then again and then in my stomach.”

“Do you know who it was?  Did they say anything?”

“Yes.  It was a warning.”

“From who?”

“Carson, can we wait for the million questions. My head is killing me and I hurt badly,” I said with a groan.

“Yes,
Angel but you will tell me when you’re better, okay?”

The door opened and in walked a guy that looked a lot like Carson only longer hair and darker eyes.  He walked over to the side of the bed and sat next to me.  He leaned over and shined a flashlight in my eyes.  The light killed my head.  I groaned and turned my head away.

“Fuck man!” Carson said, shoving the guy.

“I had to.  My name is Jack.  I’m Carson’s brother.  How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.  My head hurts and I feel like I’ve run too much.” I coughed.

Carson reached over and grabbed a cup of water and handed it to me, helping me drink.  Jack went into a lot of technical talk about what was wrong with me and then what they had to do to fix it.  It wa
s a lot of information to take in.  I looked up at Carson with wide eyes.

“Colleen, I have to ask.  Why would you not let Carson take you to the hospital?”

“Uh, I…uh…” I turned to look back at Carson. 

“Jesus Jackson!  Can she strengthen up some before you start butting your nose in where it doesn’t belong?”  Carson snapped.

“No, no I can’t.  CJ, your girlfriend has been or is being abused.  I’m obligated to report it if…”

I started crying.  History was repeating itself.  It was coming back to haunt me.  My safety gone, oh god!  I struggled to catch my breath.  Trying to take deep breaths, but failed to get enough oxygen to breath.

“Fucking bastard!  You’re going to pay for this!” Carson screamed.

He was kneeling over me cupping my face.  Carson’s eyes were full of panic and fear.  It broke me to see him worried.  This was the reason I didn’t date anyone or let anyone close.

“Shh, calm down
Angel.  No one is reporting anything, baby.  I promise, Angel.”

Tears still streamed down my cheeks, but my breathing started to calm down.  The more Carson whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek the calmer I got.  Before long I was crying silent tears and holding onto Carson for dear life.

“Get the fuck out of here!  You of all people should know better than to act like that.  Here I thought I could count on my brother.  Guess I was wrong.”  He growled.

“Carson, she’s in trouble.  I just want to help.” Jack said sadly.

“No!  You’re being a bastard.  Damn it!  You couldn’t even wait until tomorrow.  She’s been out for three fucking days!  If you truly believed she was in danger and you were trying to help then you would have known that would have scared her. But you asked anyway!  Get out!”

Jack sighed and looked
down at me with a sad look.  “I really was only trying to help.  I’ll be back in to check on you in a few hours.  Until then, here are meds for your pain and head.  I’m sorry Colleen.”

My heart broke for Jack.  As he left the
room, I knew what I needed to do.  It scared the shit out of me because it would be baring myself in a way I haven’t done before.  I would do it for him, for his family. Carson valued his family and I couldn’t take that from him.

When the door shut, I turned to Carson.  I reached my hands up and touch both sides of his face.

“My life has not been perfect.  No white picketed fence, no parents of the year, none of it.  I want to tell you everything, but you just need to give me time okay.  I will start off with this, my mom was very abusive and so were the men she brought around.  This is the piece I can give you right now.  I’m so tired.”

“Oh
Angel,” he whispered as he kissed my cheek.  “You sleep.  I won’t let anything happen to you again.”

“Do me one thing though?”

“Anything.”

“Make up with your brother.”  I yawned.

“Okay, baby.  I will.”  He kissed my forehead and I drifted off.

I could hear my mom stumbling around downstairs.  There was the distinct deep voice that followed a crash here and there.  She was rarely ever not drunk, but tonight I think has been her worst. I put
on my headphones and grabbed a book and began to read.  If it was anything like the other nights, it was going to get real loud real quick.  I wasn’t stupid, I knew what they were doing.  I was almost fourteen.  I’m not a baby, but no child wants to picture either of their parents doing it.  Whether she was a good parent or not she was still my mother.

It will probably be a repeat of this morning
, tomorrow.  I’ll go down to get breakfast and Harriet will be naked laying on either the floor, table, counter or if I’m lucky the couch.  The hate I had for her was overwhelming sometimes. There have been several occasions where I tried to run away, but she always found me.  Then I’d live to regret that decision when she got me back home.  It didn’t stop me from trying though.  Many times I prayed she’d kill me and I could be with my dad.

My door flung open suddenly and Harriet’s man of the night came into my room.  His eyes flashed with something I couldn’t identify.  Whatever it
was, made me uneasy and my heart started to race.  I took out my earphones and set my book down.

“What are you doing in my room?” 
Amazingly, my voice came out a whole lot stronger than I was feeling at the moment.

“You in a moment.  Now be a good girl and get undressed for me.”

“No.” I said firmly still amazing myself.

“Excuse me.  Maybe you need a lesson in listening.” He backhanded me.

I fell to the floor and scampered away.  He walked toward me and he pulled his belt out of his pants. The sting of it hitting my flesh was my reminder of what I wasn’t going to let happen.  I’ll be damned if I was going to let someone degrade me like that.

See with the life I have, you take precautions.  You take them for worst case scenarios not on what has happened.  You try to make sure you are prepared for the unexpected.  This fool was about to get one hell of a rude awakening.

He dropped his pants and was now naked from the waist down.  He was grinning from ear to ear as he moved closer to me.  Right when he was within reaching distance, I got up on my knees.  I am not sure what was going through his head, but his smile widened and he stood there with is feet spread apart stroking himself.  When he closed his eyes for a second, I took it as the lifeline it was.  Rearing back my fist, I hit him with everything I was worth right in his junk.

He screamed loudly and fell to his
knees, holding himself.  I stood up and kicked him in the face.  He fell to his back, I flew forward, holding the knife to his throat.

“Don’t fucking touch me again!  Harriet may be a whore, but I am not.  I will kill you next time.  Get your shit and get out of my room!”  I screamed in his face digging the knife in his throat enough that a little bit of blood stained the blade.

I moved backward still holding the knife.  He stood and pulled his pants up and walked over and got his belt. I started to breathe some thinking it was over.  He had other plans.  Swinging the bat, he knocked the knife from my hands.  He swung again hitting me across the face.  I stumbled to the side.  He kept swinging, hitting me again and again.  Somehow, in all of this pain I managed to reach the knife again.  I stabbed him in his leg and he fell back, holding his leg.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” I kept screaming over and over again.

“Angel!” Carson’s voice broke through my dream.

I opened my eyes and looked up at a concerned Carson.  The tears were trickling down my face.  All I could do was shake my head. He pulled me closer to him.  It hurt like hell, but I wanted the comfort he offered.  My body was shaking from head to toe.

“I know you may not want to answer this, but what was that nightmare about?  It might help to talk about it?”

“One of the guys that my mom brought home…came into my room.  He wanted…he wanted…He started to beat me because I said no…I decked him in his dick hard and threatened him.  He started beating me again. I… I…”  I was crying harder.

“Shhhh you don’t need to finish Angel.” He whispered.

“
Yes, I do.  I stabbed him…a lot.  He wouldn’t stop.  I didn’t know what else do to.  He kept coming after me.  Screaming at me. Grabbing me…” I cried harder.

“Shhhh okay that’s enough for now, you don’t need to work yourself up.  You can tell me more
later, okay.  The fact is you are here with me and I will protect you.”

I nodded into his neck and cried myself to sleep.  I was in t
hat half-asleep, half-awake phase. You know the kind where you can hear everything around, but you are still asleep.  Carson was talking.

“
Well, I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”

“It really is fine, CJ.  I didn’t intend to upset either of you.  As your older brother, I wanted to protect both of you.  I know she means a lot to you.  Well
, I didn’t realize how much until then, but Carss I’d do anything for you.”

“I know Jacks.  She’s told me a little about her past.  I made her stop because she was getting too upset.  It is worse than I thought.  I hope…”

“It will be okay.  She’s talking to you about it, which means she cares about you just as much as you do.  She’s doing well.  I will be in in the morning to check.  Get some sleep.”

** ** ** ** ** ** **

A week passed before I knew it.  Carson never left my side.  As it turns out he had another brother named Jeff.  He kept cooking these amazing meals.  Carson tells me that Jeff is a celebrity chef, that he has his own cooking show and even cooks for the stars.  They started having me walk the next day after waking up.  I was shocked I had been out of it for three days, but what shocked me even more was the extent that he went to for me.  His brother told me he never left my side and that he literally had to throw him out of the room.

During
the week that I have been here recovering, I have met a lot of his family; four brothers and his dad.  Carson told me there are two more brothers, I haven’t met and three sisters.  He already knew I had no family, so he didn’t even bring that up.  Everyone seemed real nice and genuinely concerned for me.

I began to drift off to sleep and as I did
a moment in my life began to play out.  The moments I knew I needed to tell Carson about.  If we were going to make a real go of this he needed to know what he was getting into and with.  One memory was prominent in my flashback.  It was also my most painful memory of them all.  One I wasn’t sure if he’d still see me as his
Angel
after I tell him.

That moment in my life came back to me like it was happening all over again. 

This project would set me up for an ‘A’ in this class for sure.  I hoped that my partner, Jessica, was an equal worker and not just coming here to have me do it all.  For this project to be pulled off, both of us needed to work equally on it. Just as I was setting everything needed on the table, my phone began to ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey Colleen, this is Jessica Spear.  I was just calling to confirm that we are meeting in an hour.”

“Yup.  You still have my address?”

“Yes, I do.  Leia Monty needs a group to work with.  She was absent on the day of picking, is it okay she joins our group?  With three of us working on it, we should be able to slam it.”

“
Yeah, that would be great.  I’ll see you guys in an hour.”