Fantasyland 01 Wildest Dreams (66 page)

“Where’s Frey?” I demanded to know.

“Finnie –” Ruben started, his eyes turning
guarded as they took in my face, his hands coming to my upper arms,
fingers curling around carefully.

“
Ben, where… is…
Frey?
” I ended my question on a shriek and Ruben’s head
jerked again as his fingers tightened.

Then he said gently, “Go inside, my
princess, I’ll get him.”

“Fuck that,” I snapped, yanking free of his
hold and ignoring his wince at my words. “Tell me where he is.”

“Fin –” he started, something caught his
attention, he looked beyond me, his big body went tight and his
eyes narrowed.

“
Ben!” I yelled and his eyes snapped back
to me. “Where the
fuck
is
Frey?”

“Right here, wee one, what on earth is
amiss?” I heard Frey ask and the minute I heard his voice, I turned
on him.

Then I took him in as he moved toward me,
his boots crunching in the snow and my heart squeezed, hard and
tight, staying frozen like it was never going to pump again.

My beautiful husband. My sweet and gentle
Frey. The man I loved. The man whose child I was carrying. The man
who had lied to me and irrevocably changed the course of my
life…
twice
… without
bothering to discuss it with me.

“Frey, there’s a wo –” Ruben started to say
in a low tone but I cut him off.

“
You unbelievable
asshole!
” I shrieked, Frey’s brows shot together over
narrowed eyes as he stopped walking about four feet from me and his
body went still.

“Finnie, what –?” he started.

“
Fuck you!” I spat, leaning forward to do
it. “Fuck you, Frey! I cannot fucking
believe
you!”

“Frey –” Ruben said quietly, Frey’s eyes
unlocked with mine, he looked around me, he focused on something in
the distance, I saw his face go hard but I ignored all of this and
kept at it.

“
You told the elves to bind me to this
world,” I accused hotly and his eyes shot back to my face. “You did
it a long time ago. You did it without asking me. You did it before
you even knew you liked me much less loved me. And you did it so
you wouldn’t have to be bound to Sjofn for the rest of your days.
You did it for completely selfish reasons. You did it without once
thinking of me. You did it only thinking of
you.
” I watched as he flinched, I knew that proved
Valentine’s words true and my heart started pumping so fast, in an
instant my blood felt like it was going to boil through my skin and
it pushed me to keep right on going. “Who could do that and how?” I
shouted. “
How?
” I
screamed. “
How could you do that?
” I shrieked, arms straight down at my sides, hands in
fists, torso leaning toward him.

“Finnie, love, let’s go inside,” he said
gently, moving to me, hand coming toward me but I took two quick
steps back and lifted my hand, palm out to him and he stopped but
only at my next words.

“
Don’t you dare touch me, Frey, don’t
you
fucking
touch me
because that was just the worst of it but not all of it. I
know…
I
fucking know
you
switched my powders without talking to me about that
either.”

I heard Ruben pull in a breath but it was
Frey’s face that had my attention because it changed, his eyes
flashed and his voice got low when he ordered, “Finnie, we’re going
inside.”

“
Fuck that and fuck
you!
” I leaned forward to screech. “Who does that? Who
does any of this shit?” I yelled, throwing my hands out.
“It’s
my
body,
Frey!
I
get to decide
or at the very least
we
talk
about when we create a baby but oh no…” I drew this out
sarcastically, shaking my head and taking another step back. “Not
The Drakkar. Not The Frey. My life isn’t mine. My body isn’t mine.
Both are clearly yours to do with whatever you wish without
once
consulting me.”

“Wife,” Frey cut in, “you’re distressed and
there’s a woman I do not know standing behind you. Let us go inside
and –”

“
Unh-unh,” I shook my head. “No way. No
fucking,
fucking
way. I’m
not going
anywhere
with
you. The only thing I know, because Valentine told me, is that
wherever I go has to be
here!
”
I shouted, pointing to the ground realizing belatedly we had an
audience of all my girls (save, probably, Jocelyn though I was in
no state to check) and a number of Frey’s men but I didn’t
care.

Not even a little bit.

And that was why I kept yelling. “I had
friends back home, Frey, people I love. And I’ll never see them
again not even to say good-bye. I didn’t have family but I had a
family of friends and without thinking of me
once
you swept them all away. You swept
my whole world
away.
How could you do
that? How could my sweet, generous husband
do that to me?
” I ended on a screech, Frey’s face
shifted to concern at my rising hysteria, he took two swift steps
to me but I scuttled quickly away, hand back up, palm out, rounding
Ruben and retreating while still speaking. “Don’t come near me.” I
shook my head. “Don’t you dare come near me.” This I whispered as
the despair began to overwhelm me. “You’ve… you… I can’t believe
I’m not safe with you. I can’t believe I can’t trust you and I
can’t believe I now know I never
fucking could.
”

Frey’s body turned with mine and he followed
me as I backed through the snow. “My love –” he started but I shook
my head hard.

“I’m not that,” I told him, tears making my
voice hoarse as they shone in my eyes. “I’m not that to you. I’m
not your love and I never have been. You don’t treat someone you
love like this. You don’t. Not ever. Not ever.”

At my words, I watched the expression on his
face shift to ravaged and he whispered, “My wee Fin –”

But he didn’t finish the name I loved him to
call me.

This was because I heard a whistle fill the
air, a whistle I knew very well.

And then I stood still and horrified as I
saw Frey’s powerful body wrench forward at the same time I saw the
bloody point of an arrow come out his shoulder.

And at this same time I heard Bess, Esther
and Alyssa scream and their screams mingled with my own.

And then it happened, everywhere, all around
me, all around Frey, all around the men, Valentine and my girls.
Whistling arrows flying everywhere, landing in the snow, landing in
flesh, men’s grunts of pain, women’s screams, people rushing and
horses suddenly galloping through the snow all around, so many of
them, it felt like an army had descended on Frey’s lodge.

I stood frozen and watched as, injured, Frey
started to race toward me but then I watched in stony shock, horror
and with a pain so immense it scored through my insides as two more
arrows penetrated my husband’s big, beautiful body and then I
watched the powerful Drakkar go down to a knee.

“
No!
” I shrieked, my body belatedly unlocking, moving
to run to him but I didn’t get a step before I was pulled up and
planted in front of a man on a horse.

“
Get the
witch!
” I heard my
captor order, then he bent into me, drove his heels into his
mount’s flanks and we galloped into the surrounding
forest.

I struggled, pushing and grunting, my vision
filled with nothing but Frey’s powerful body penetrated by three
arrows, the blood soaking his wool and down on a knee and my system
knew nothing but the driving need to get back to my husband.

“
Spell!
” my captor shouted, struggling to contain my
thrashing. “
Now!
”

I bucked back at the same time pushing at
his arm at my waist, I felt the back of my head collide with his
chin, the piercing pain that caused reverberated through my skull,
I heard his grunt and I felt a tickle hit my chest.

Then I felt nothing at all because I was
asleep.

Until the Day I Died

Four days later…

“
My Winter Princess, wake, please wake,” I
heard a woman call and my eyes slowly opened then fluttered closed
again. “Please, my princess,
wake.
”

With effort I opened my eyes and focused on
a blonde woman, blue eyes, not young, not old, maybe late forties,
early fifties. She had great hair and a lot of it and she was very
pretty.

“Hey,” I whispered, feeling funny, not
myself, strangely out of body.

“She needs food, water, immediately, it’s
been days,” I heard from behind her and I blinked because I knew
that voice.

My eyes moved from the blonde to the redhead
who was now wearing a disheveled, dusty, torn in places, jade green
wool, wraparound dress and scuffed, dirty, charcoal gray suede
boots.

And it all came back to me.

I pushed up to sitting, my head swam
alarmingly and my hand went immediately to it but even so, I didn’t
stop trying to push up from wherever I was reclining but two sets
of hands held me down and I didn’t have a lot of strength.

And since I didn’t, since my head was woozy
and there was an emptiness in my stomach that had not one thing to
do with hunger and a scary feeling around my heart that I didn’t
want to think about, I gave in.

But I gave in as I whispered, “Frey.”

The blonde looked at Valentine and I didn’t
like the look on her face so I grabbed her arm and I did it tight.
I also shook it when I had hold and I did this hard.

She looked back at me with sad eyes. Sad
eyes that spoke words she really didn’t want to say and words I
never, never,
never
wanted to
hear.

“No,” I whispered, bile filling my throat,
she grabbed my hand as Valentine dropped to her knees on the floor
beside the blonde.

“I am sorry, my princess,” she whispered,
squeezing my hand. “He has gone from this world.”

He has gone from this world.

Frey has gone from this world.

My sweet, gentle Frey was gone from this
world.

Emotion surged through me, so much, none
of it good, that I suddenly felt like I was going to
explode.

“
No!
” I shrieked, pushing her away, I gained my feet,
rushed several paces across the room and stopped dead when I saw we
were in a room made of stone and there was nothing in it but high,
barred windows at least two stories up, three dirty pallets on the
floor with thin, rough, tattered wool blankets and a wooden table
that looked like its legs held it up by a miracle.

We were in a prison cell.

And I didn’t care.

No, I didn’t care.

“He isn’t dead,” I told Valentine and the
blonde as both slowly stood and turned to face me.

“I’m sorry, my princess,” the blonde
murmured.

I leaned forward and shrieked,
“
He isn’t
dead!
”

Valentine moved toward me, whispering, “My
goddess of love –”

“
He isn’t dead! He isn’t dead!
He isn’t dead!
” I
screeched then saw even the cool, composed Valentine’s face filled
with sorrow and my legs collapsed under me as my body started
shuddering with sobs. “He isn’t dead,” I whispered through my tears
as both women made it to me, pulled me to my feet and supported me
as they moved me back to the pallet. “He isn’t dead,” I repeated,
my entire body quaking with the force of my grief as they gently
pressed me back down to the dirty mattress. “He isn’t dead,” I
whispered as I curled into a ball, arms around my calves, rocking
my body back and forth while one of them, I didn’t know who,
stroked my hair. “He isn’t dead,” these words were hoarse, rough,
ugly, my stomach empty, my heart actually felt broken and that
hurt, a lot, too much, so much I couldn’t bear it. It was
unbearable. “Please, God, make him not dead.” I whispered then I
turned my head, pressed my face into the filthy pallet and I
sobbed.

* * * * *

I cried myself out while Valentine stroked
my hair and cooed to me. When I was done and turned my face to
stare at the stone wall, she gently forced me to sitting on the
pallet so my back was to the wall as the blonde went to the table
and came back with a plate on which were some slices of ham and a
battered copper cup filled with water that was luckily clear and
clean.

“
Eat,
pour votre bébé,
” Valentine urged, I looked at her vaguely, nodded
just as vaguely, took the plate, set it on my thighs, took the
glass, started eating slowly and chased the salty ham with
water.

Pour votre bébé.

Our baby.

Would I live to give Frey that?

I looked around the room and doubted it.

Then my eyes fell on the blonde. “Who are
you?” I asked.

“I am Lavinia of Lunwyn, servant of
Alabasta,” she replied softly and I nodded because I knew who that
was. Frey told me stories of Lunwyn’s most powerful witch and the
goddess Alabasta’s servant on this earth.

And Frey told them to me while we were
eating dinner in his chateau in Hawkvale.

I felt my throat close, my eyes sting and I
looked away, shoving another piece of ham in my mouth and having no
clue how I’d get it down.