Fascinated (22 page)

A knock sounded on the door. “Come in,” called Alicia as she twisted her hair into a knot and reached for the pins laid out beside her.

Edward opened the door. “The servants have arrived, Alicia. Would you be willing to come into the library and meet Mrs. Talbot?”

“Of course. I’m nearly done here.” Alicia concentrated on setting the pins in place. When she looked up again, she saw Edward leaning against the wall, grinning at her with arms folded. “What on earth…?”

“You’re beautiful like this.”

“With my hair in disarray and a gown that barely fits?”

“Recovering your dignity after you’ve been well and truly fucked.”

To her amazement, no hint of a blush warmed Alicia’s cheeks. She rose to her feet and lifted her chin. “You, sir, are impertinent past enduring. I will take my leave of you now.”

Recalling to mind Verity’s bearing when she wished to be dramatic, Alicia swept through the doorway. Edward bowed deeply as she passed, but did not lower his eyes, so she felt the full measure of heat from his moonlight gaze. Now she did blush, and he grinned at her, knowing he had won the point. With a great show of gallantry he offered her his arm. With equal dignity and seriousness she took it so they could proceed down the staircase to the library together.

It was an entirely new thing to be so comfortable with someone. His smile could relax her as easily as his touch could enflame her. When she was with Edward, she found a capacity for humor as well as one for magic. These things shook Alicia as deeply as any of the more overt displays of sensuality she had enacted with Edward. What else would she discover in this man’s company? Alicia was conscious of a fresh warmth spreading through her; a sense of anticipation for the future that was also new and unlooked for.

“I should warn you,” said Edward as they reached the library door. “Mrs. Talbot is something of a force of nature.”

“After you, my lord, I’m sure she shall seem quite tame.”

Edward sighed and shook his head at her. “Well, I did try to warn you.”

He pushed the door open to reveal a giantess in a neat work dress standing by his desk. Far from the stout, maternal housekeeper Alicia had expected, Mrs. Talbot stood a bare inch shorter than her employer and was nearly as broad. Her work-worn hands looked like they could have knotted the fireplace poker without effort.

“Oh! You poor dear!” Mrs. Talbot boomed, crossing the room in three long strides to grasp Alicia’s hands. “What you must think
of us!” She turned her accusing glower on Edward to make certain he knew that “us” included him. “To bring you to this house without a thing being ready, not a single room done up decently, not a drop or a crumb or a kind soul to welcome you! I am all put to shame, my lady. To shame! I do hope you can forgive us.” This last was said with such earnestness that Alicia would not have been surprised to see tears standing in her keen blue eyes.

“I’m only sorry to impose on you without proper warning…”

“Nonsense! Not a bit of this is your doing! Oh, you need not be in the least embarrassed, my lady. My mother served his lordship’s father. We know the truth of the Carstairses’ legacy and certainly do not expect things to happen in the usual way here. But I did want to make myself known to you. I’ll be attending you until your maid can join you, of course…”

“But I have no maid. Not of my own, at any rate.” When the upstairs maid was too busy, which was the normal course of events, Alicia had been expected to make shift for herself, or call on Verity.

Where finding a strange woman in her house left Mrs. Talbot completely unruffled, the revelation that Alicia had no personal maid left her not just surprised, but openly shocked. “Then one must be hired immediately,” she announced. “You cannot be permitted to do without, m’lady. If you’ll allow me, I know a woman who might suit. She is experienced and discreet, and understands…how things are, if you take my meaning.”

“I’d be grateful for the recommendation; thank you.” Alicia managed to bite her tongue before she corrected Mrs. Talbot about “m’lady.” The woman might say she knew how things were, but Alicia had no idea if the details she’d been given included the fact that her employer’s marriage was a sham.

“Then I’ll send for her so you can conduct an interview,” said
Mrs. Talbot. “And of course we’ll need a dressmaker, and a new upstairs maid and…”

Alicia found her head beginning to spin. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Talbot, but we’ll surely need to discuss with Lord Carstairs…”

Mrs. Talbot didn’t even glance in Edward’s direction. “His lordship told me I was to see you properly settled and cared for, my lady, and that is exactly what I intend to do. Now that we are here, you will not find us lacking.” She drew herself up to her full, imposing height. “Cook asked me to inform you she is preparing a late luncheon for you and Lord Carstairs. I’m sure you must be starved with nothing but cold chicken and muffins to sustain you all day! So, if you’ll excuse me, my lady…?”

Mrs. Talbot dropped a hint of a curtsy and marched out the door. Alicia found she could do nothing but drop into the nearest armchair.

Edward was grinning at her.

“Yes, yes.” Alicia waved weakly at him. “You did try to warn me.”

“She’s a good woman and you may trust her absolutely. I have done so for years. But why the frown? You’re not worried about the expense, are you? I assure you, I can bear it. In fact, I need to get my man in town to make sure you’re properly settled with a bridal portion, and we need to discuss an allowance and…”

“Stop!” cried Alicia.

Edward froze.

“Please stop,” she whispered. Her hands were shaking now. “It’s…it’s too much.”

“I’m sorry, Alicia.” Edward knelt beside her chair, catching up her hand in his. “I know I’m moving quickly. But given the circumstances, I did not want you to feel you had no resources of your own.”

“No, it’s not that; it’s…” How could she explain? She met Edward’s gaze, and knew at once the only way was to tell the unvarnished truth. “No one has ever cared whether I was comfortable before, or if I had what I needed.”

Edward did not answer her right away. When he did, he spoke carefully. “It was your enchantment that blinded you to your family’s concern, Alicia.”

“No. It was not. I was just another body in that house, another plate at the table. I had new clothes when it was noticed I had outgrown the others. My sixteenth birthday, and my coming out, were not celebrated. They were attended to, because it would cause comment if nothing were done. After that, I was required to attend the theater at regular intervals, and be present at an adequate number of balls and parties, but only because it was the done thing.”

Edward frowned deeply. “I’ve met your cousins, Alicia. They never struck me as so malicious toward you.”

“It wasn’t malice. All of us were treated just the same. The Hartwell indifference is, like your magic, shockingly democratic.”

“I’m surprised you all did not run positively wild.”

“The others never seemed to mind it. Or much of anything at all. Except Verity, of course.”

“Yes,” murmured Edward. “Except Verity.”

“So you see, having someone thinking of my comfort, it’s nothing I’ve ever had before.”

Edward’s frown deepened. “What about when you lived with your parents?”

“I barely remember that.” Her fingers twisted together. “It was very different. We had only a small house near the Tyne, and one servant. I think I was allowed to run quite wild then.” A voice
from distant memory rose up in her mind.
Alicia! You little savage! No, don’t you laugh, impertinent miss. Mama is quite cross with you. Truly, I am!
At the same time she remembered the smell of the leaves and the grass, the sting that came from scraping her knees and the itch of mud drying on her bare feet. She remembered her father, who was tall as a tree and strong as Jack the Giant Killer tossing her up into the air and laughing as she flapped her arms and tried to fly.
That’s it, my girl! You almost had it that time!

Alicia’s heart twisted. How long had it been since she’d let herself remember such things? How long, indeed, since she’d been
able
to remember?

“What happened to them?” Edward asked softly.

“I don’t know. I think I was sent away from home for a while. It must have been then that Mama fell ill.”

But as Alicia spoke, more memories unfurled inside her. She remembered standing in the darkness of their little parlor, tears of rage pouring down her face. She remembered her heart filled to the breaking point with fury and loss. She remembered being a little child and wanting to die. But not because Mama was ill and Papa had vanished. No. Because of something quite different. Something
wrong
.

I hate you! I hate you all! I want the White Knight!

“You do remember.” Edward gripped her shoulder. “What happened, Alicia?”

“I don’t know.” A dull throbbing had begun under her temples, pulsing in time with her suddenly labored heartbeat. Her vision blurred, not with tears, but with pain like a vise against her skull. “I can’t see straight…”

“Let me help you.” She felt the touch of Edward’s presence
in her mind. All she had to do was open to him, let him see within her. He would help her understand what had happened. He would help her understand about the White Knight.

NO!

A bolt of force shot out of her, and the world spun. When Alicia could see again, she found herself sprawled on her back on the library carpet, blinking at the ceiling. She scrambled to her knees, gasping. Tears stung her eyes. Edward was on the other side of the room, staring at her in shock.

“Oh, great God,” she whispered. “Edward, what have I done?”

“No harm, Alicia,” he said, coming to her side instantly. He took her hands and helped her to stand before he folded her in his strong embrace. “I was too clumsy. I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t…I never meant…”

“I know, I know. Hush now. It was not your fault. I was careless, and should be apologizing to you. I rushed you, and your power is so new awakened that when your mind rebelled to my touch, it did so strongly.”

I wish you were dead!
Her childish rage echoed back to her and she squeezed her eyes shut. That was long ago. That was not now. But it still felt terrifyingly fresh.

“I could have hurt you.”

“But you did not. Look.” Edward stepped back to arm’s length, but did not let go of her hands. “My pride is only a little dented.”

“But…”

“I am all right, Alicia.” He smiled down at her. “You have done me no harm.”

She clamped her mouth closed around another “but.” Her knees trembled and she sat down again in her chair. Edward said he was all right and she must believe him. But why did her mind’s
eye show him sprawled motionless on the ground? Worse—oh, far worse—why did she see herself walking calmly away from his still form, out into the darkness toward…toward…someone? A figure. A man in a white surcoat and armor that shimmered like pearls in the sunlight. That man held out his hand to her and smiled with unsurpassed sweetness.

This was the White Knight. He was not some figment of a child’s imagination. He was real. She was as certain of it as she was of the beating of her own heart. He was real and he lived.

And he was waiting for her.

A
nger filled Edward as he watched the color drain from Alicia’s cheeks. He cursed himself thoroughly, in each of the half-dozen languages he spoke. He was supposed to be the one to guide her, and instead he had hurt and frightened her.

“Alicia,” Edward began again, but a soft knocking at the door interrupted him. With an abrupt oath, he flung open the library door to find Luddington, the senior of his two footmen, standing with a silver salver balanced on his fingertips.

“My apologies for disturbing you, sir,” Luddington said blandly to the anger Edward knew showed plain on his face. “But you asked that the post to be sent up the moment it came.” He held out the tray with its small stack of letters.

Carstairs gritted his teeth and reined his feelings in tightly. He had indeed given that order. “Thank you, Luddington.” He took the letters. “But inform the staff there are to be no more interruptions until I ring.” Mrs. Graves’s luncheon would simply
have to wait until he had settled things with Alicia. And if she wanted to scold him for it, that could wait as well.

“Very good, sir.”

Carstairs let Luddington step back before he closed the door, and this time locked it. He turned back to Alicia, fully intending to lay the post aside.

“Is there anything for me?” she asked.

A fresh oath formed in Carstairs’s mind. They had been on the verge of a discovery; he was sure of it. Perhaps even the key to all of Alicia’s past. If he pressed, he would have it. He would understand her, and with that understanding he would finally know whether or not he could trust her. He must know that. It was urgent. He was in greater danger from this lovely woman than he ever had been from any foe he had faced. Those others had threatened only to take his life. Alicia, with her beauty, her keen wit, her passion and her strength, threatened his heart. If she was in the clutches of the Fae, he had to know before he fell irretrievably into hers.