Fated Love (16 page)

"Good. Then no arguing." Honor reached over and patted Quinn's knee. "Thanks, Quinn. It will save me a lot of worrying if you're somewhere I can see you."

"I appreciate your concern, really Thank you."

Honor stared straight ahead, knowing that it was much more than concern and much more than her sense of professional responsibility. If there was even the remotest chance that Quinn could develop a problem, she wanted to be the one to take care of her. And more than that, she enjoyed the way she felt when Quinn was around. She enjoyed the undercurrent of affection and excitement, and, unexpectedly, the sense of easy companionship.

Almost all of her personal time was spent either with Phyllis and Arly, both of whom she loved more than life, or her good friends Linda and Robin. But she had not had the company of a woman whom she admired and found as intriguing as Quinn for years. She hadn't thought she'd wanted it, or needed it, or missed it. In the last few days, though, she had discovered that she did.

When she turned onto the residential street where she, Linda, and Robin lived, Honor tooted her horn and pulled up alongside

Linda's car. Linda rolled down her window, and Honor motioned for Quinn to do the same.

Leaning across Quinn to see Linda, Honor called out Quinn's window, "I'm taking Quinn to my house."

"Everything okay?"

"Yes—just a slight change in plans."

Linda looked surprised as well as curious, but just nodded. "Okay. If you need anything, call us. We'll be home. Take care of your shoulder, Quinn."

"Will do," Quinn replied. "Thanks for the help earlier."

"No problem, sweetie. I'll talk to you both tomorrow."

With that, Linda drove on and Honor followed her for half a block and then turned into her driveway. She swiveled on the seat after shutting off the engine and once again rested her hand gently on Quinn's thigh. "I'm just going to tell Arly and Phyllis that you're staying with us because of your shoulder. They don't need to know about the other, okay?"

"Thanks." Quinn hesitated, then placed her hand over Honor's. "Are you sure it will be all right with Phyllis if I stay?"

Honor raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"I..uh...wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea"

"And what idea would that be, Quinn?" Honor asked softly, unconsciously turning her hand so that their palms met. When their fingers intertwined, she didn't move hers away.

"You were married to her daughter, weren't you?"

Honor gasped, startled by the question and caught off guard by the thousand images of Terry that instantly flew through her mind. Her hand trembled against Quinn's. "Yes."

"You're still wearing her ring."

"Yes." Honor's voice came out a whisper.

"I wouldn't want Phyllis...or you...to think I don't respect that."

"Oh, Quinn," Honor breathed, touched and grateful. "I know this afternoon has been difficult, but I hope you consider me a friend."

"I do." Even as Quinn said it, meaning it, she also knew that her feelings for Honor were already much more than that. "But—"

"No," Honor said quickly, assaulted by so many conflicting emotions that she felt almost dizzy. "Let's just let that be enough. Please."

Quinn heard the tremor in Honor's voice, and even as disappointment settled like a stone in her depths, she nodded. "Of course."

"Phyllis and Arly will be delighted with your company." Honor squeezed Quinn's hand and gently withdrew her fingers. Then she took a deep breath and smiled tremulously. "So will I."

* * * * *

Quinn followed Honor through the back door into the cozy kitchen and stopped just over the threshold, feeling suddenly awkward. Arly perched on a stool by the kitchen table, deftly manipulating a Game Boy, a glass of milk by her side. Phyllis was in the midst of making a salad, and the counter next to the sink where she stood was covered with vegetables in various stages of preparation. The scene harkened back to a time that Quinn had long forgotten, a time of lazy summer afternoons and family dinners. The last twelve years of her life had been a nonstop climb to professional accomplishment, with almost no time for anything personal. She hadn't even been aware that anything was missing until everything had come to a screeching halt a few months before, and when she had looked around, she'd realized that she was alone in a life that was empty except for her work. If it hadn't been for Sax and Jude's friendship, she wasn't sure she would have made it. I
don't belong here, in Honor's home, in Honor's life. What was I thinking?

"Quinn!" Arly hopped down and came running, stopping an inch away to stare wide-eyed at Quinn's shoulder and the blue sling with its Velcro straps and buckles. "Wow. What is that? Does it hurt? How long do you have to wear it? Does this mean you won't be able to coach soccer?"

Laughing, Quinn felt her discomfort dissipate a little. "It's called an immobilizer, and I only need it for a couple of days. No, it doesn't hurt much, and it sure isn't going to keep me from coaching."

"That's good!" Arly turned to Honor. "How did you fix Quinn's shoulder, Mom?"

"Find me your
Color Anatomy!
book, and I'll show you."

"Oh, cool. I'll be right back," Arly called to the room in general and ran off.

"Is that her normal speed?" Quirm chuckled.

"She has two speeds," Honor explained affectionately. "Fast and faster."

Phyllis regarded Quinn intently. Her color was ashen, and there were shadows beneath her eyes that hadn't been there only hours before. "How are you feeling, Quinn?"

"Just a little sore," Quinn assured her.

"Uh-huh." Phyllis pointed to a chair. "Sit down. You're staying for dinner, I hope?"

"Actually," Honor interjected, "Quinn is staying with us for a day or so,"

A day or so?
Quinn's eyebrows rose in surprise.

Honor continued smoothly, "That shoulder immobilizer makes it a little hard for her to manage things alone, and I thought it would be easier for her here."

"That's sensible," Phyllis agreed, aware of something unspoken passing between the two younger women, yet accepting the explanation at face value for the moment. Clearly Quinn
did
need some help; she looked like she was about to fall down. "Dinner won't be for at least an hour or so. Quinn, maybe you'd like to lie down for awhile?"

"I'm not really worth much with just one arm," Quinn said, "but I could still probably help you get dinner ready."

Phyllis laughed. "Thank you, but I enjoy doing it. It makes me feel useful."

Honor gave her a quick hug. "Useful doesn't even come close.
You
know we couldn't manage without you."

"Take Quinn upstairs, Honor," Phyllis directed. "Something tells me that shoulder is hurting a little bit more than she wants to let on."

Quinn blushed. "I can see that I have no secrets from you."

"I've had some practice over the years with bumps and bruises and tough girls who pretend they don't hurt," Phyllis said, regarding Honor affectionately.

At that moment, Arly skidded back into the kitchen, extending the coloring book with its anatomic images. "Here it is. Show me what you did to Quinn."

"I will, honey, in just a minute. I'm going to take Quinn upstairs first so she can have a nap."

"Maybe she can come up with us and bring the book along?" Quinn asked carefully, mindful of Honor's authority, "I want to see this, too."

"You win." Laughing, Honor threw up her hands. "Let's go, you two."

A minute later, Honor opened the door to the guest room on the second floor and motioned Quinn in. "The bathroom is just down the hall to your right. I'll put some fresh towels and sundries out for you. The phone is by the bed over there, in case you want to make a call."

Quinn looked around the warm, comfortably furnished room, feeling instantly at home. It had the kind of personal touches that her apartment lacked—small area rugs on the hardwood floors, bright curtains adorning the windows, and walls and furnishings in soothing earth tones. She was tired and sore and the double bed with the patterned comforter looked enormously appealing. "This is wonderful." She looked at Honor, wishing she could tell her how much it meant to her to be there. Huskily, she said, "Thank you."

"No need," Honor replied, her throat tight. Quinn's eyes were smudged with pain, and Honor had the sudden urge to take Quinn by the hand, lead her to the bed, and lie down with her. She wanted to cradle Quinn close and hold her while she slept. The desire was so powerful, she ached. "Why don't you stretch out for a while, and I'll call you when dinner is ready."

"I think I will, in a minute." Quinn sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to her. "Come on, Arly. Sit here. Then Mom can show us what she did."

Honor sat down, too, with Arly between them. She reached for the coloring book, found a drawing of the human skeleton, and, while Arly watched with rapt attention, pointed out the various structures around the shoulder. Then, in simple terms, she explained what had happened when Quirm had fallen. "So, in order to fix it, you have to move the bones so they fit back together again."

Arly looked up at Quinn with a serious expression. "Did it hurt?"

"It hurt when I dislocated it," Quinn explained. "But it felt much better as soon as your mom put everything back where it belonged."

"So you'll be all right now, right?"

Quinn nodded. "In a few days, I'll be back to normal." She looked at Honor over Arly's head, smiling ruefully. "Just like nothing happened."

Honor, her eyes tinged with sadness, held Quinn's gaze. Never had she wanted to ease someone's hurt as much as in that moment. Knowing that she had contributed to Quinn's unhappiness made it all the worse. She cleared her throat and said softly, "We should let Quinn rest now, honey. Maybe you can go see if Grandmom needs some help with dinner."

"Can I stay here with Quinn? I could read to her like
you
do when I'm sick."

"Maybe later," Honor said gently. "Now scoot."

"Okay." Arly looked hopefully at Quinn. "I'll see you later, right?"

"You bet."

Quinn smiled as Arly jumped down and hurried away. "She's something."

"Yes." Honor laughed fondly. "You're very good with her."

"I'm winging it," Quinn admitted with a grin. "Not much practice with kids."

"Like I said earlier, you have very good instincts."

Quinn met Honor's eyes. "You think?"

"I do."
You are such a wonderful combination of everything I admire.
Fearful that Quinn could somehow read her thoughts, Honor reached down and lifted Quinn's right foot, pulling off her sneaker. "You're about to cave, Quinn. Let's get you under the covers."

"I can manage."

Honor shook her head and picked up the other foot. "Undoubtedly, but it will be easier if I help. You should take your jeans off, too. You'll be able to sleep more comfortably."

"Those I can get," Quinn stated adamantly.

"Of course." Honor blushed.
God, what am I thinking? I can't undress her. Not when I want to touch her, just..touch her.

"Do you maybe have some aspirin?" Quinn asked quietly, getting to her feet.
All I need is for you to put your hands on me. I'll come apart if you do.

"I'll get you another pain pill." Honor averted her gaze as she realized that Quinn was waiting to unzip her jeans and headed hastily for the door. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

When Honor returned, a glass of water in one hand and a Tylenol with codeine tablet in the other, Quinn was in bed with the covers drawn up to her waist, fast asleep. She had kept her polo shirt on, since it was impossible for her to remove it alone with the shoulder immobilizer in place. With her vibrant blue eyes closed, she seemed defenseless and young. For one fleeting second, Honor envisioned the mechanical device lodged in Quinn's chest, a silent testament to her vulnerability. Honor hurt, thinking of all that Quinn had lost.

Quietly, she crossed the room and placed the pill and the water on the bedside table. For a long moment, she stood still, watching the slow rise and fall of Quinn's chest and the restless flutter of her eyelids in sleep. Ever so carefully, she rested her fingertips against Quinn's cheek. She touched her out of tenderness and caring, but the subtle heat from Quinn's skin stirred an answering fire that caught her unawares. She had forgotten the wonder of the quick flare of passion when it was least expected. She had never thought to experience that excitement again, and the unmistakable thrum of desire that swelled within her was both exulting and terrifying.

Oh, Quinn. What have you done to me?

Chapter Thirteen

W hen Quinn awoke, the room was dark. For a moment, she had no idea where she was, and the quick surge of anxiety produced a flutter in her chest. It was the kind of feeling that ordinarily went unnoticed to most, but that for her—even as she recognized Honor's house and her pulse settled—-caused a clenching in the stomach and a ripple of fear. She'd gotten used to the heightened awareness of the beat of her own heart in the weeks since her illness, and for hours at a time, she rarely thought about the defibrillator beneath her sldn and the electrical wires implanted in her heart. Were it not for the resurgence of professional problems resulting from Honor learning of her condition, she probably wouldn't be thinking of it now.

Waiting for the shock that didn't come, Quinn wondered if there would ever come a time when she would be able to forget that her life was dependent upon a mechanical device. She didn't even dare imagine a time when the defibrillator might be removed, although in her distant reaches, she hoped.

Needing the defibrillator isn 't
so
much different than what we all live with every day
—
depending for our survival upon fragile cells and vulnerable organs that can be damaged or destroyed by accident or disease. It just
seems
unnatural

That's what she told herself, and that's what she wanted to believe.