Authors: Judith Ann McDowell
If she had drawn back her hand and slapped him across the face she couldn’t have stunned him more. Nor hurt him more deeply. All the fantasies he had spun lying in his bunk at night and had run through his mind about her during the day paled beside what he had just witnessed. In his dreams she always championed him. In that one split second of cold reality, she showed him the dream had already faded.
“
If that’s the way you feel, then maybe I should pack up and leave everything to you.” With all his heart he begged her to call his bluff. When she remained silent, he knew he’d lost. He hated the ring of pain sounding in his voice. “I thought you cared about my opinion. I can see now I’m still just a paid hand where you’re concerned.”
“
Dave,” she murmured, the anger gone now from her voice as she touched his arm. “I love my husband. I know this now. Even with all his failings, I don’t want to live without him. What happened between us was a mistake.” Charlotte hardened her heart against the raw agony gazing back at her. “If you can’t accept this, then perhaps you should leave.”
“
Whether you can accept it or not, you’re gonna leave,” Eathen growled, as his fist shot forth, catching the unsuspecting man on the side of his jaw and sending him sprawling backward onto the floor.
Vivid images of Charlotte wrapped in the arms of another man cleared the cobwebs from his fogged mind, catapulting him into a blinding rage.
Spitting blood, Houston rolled to his feet. “I got nothin’ to lose now, Thornton.” His gaze narrowed on his opponent. “I think its time we found out who’s the better man here.” His fist shot out, smashing into Eathen’s stomach and doubling him over.
“
You dared to put your filthy hands on my wife, you son-of-a-bitch. I’ll kill ya!” Eathen sputtered, straightening himself upright, his hands balled and ready.
“
Miz Charlotte! You gots ter does sumpin’ befo’ dey kills one ‘nother!” Hattie screeched, her hands fluttering in the air.
Without a word, Charlotte walked over to remove her whimpering daughter from harm’s way. With her head held high, she continued on her way out of the room.
“
Oh lawd. Mah po’ heart kain tek aws dis cahyin’ on!” Hattie cried, before making her own hasty retreat.
The two men continued to pummel each other, until neither one could stand without bracing himself against a solid object. Finally, Eathen called a halt to the battle.
“
Pack your shit, Houston,” Eathen told him, holding up his hands, “and get the hell off my property.”
Winded and dizzy, Dave took several deep breaths, holding the last breath inward until he was sure the dizziness had completely subsided. “I guess sayin’ I’m sorry won’t do any good now, but Charlotte was the innocent one in this,” he swiped a bruised hand across his bloody mouth. “If she hadda husband who really loved her ‘stead of layin’ up with everything he could straddle, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“
Get out!” Eathen growled, staggering from the room.
Charlotte could hear the sound of his footsteps coming up the stairs. Steeling herself for the confrontation she thought would be coming, she felt relieved when she heard his steps continue down the hall to his room. As she heard the door close behind him, she swiped a hand across her eyes, refusing to give in to tears.
“
It ain’t fair.” She sat up straighter in her chair. “I haven’t done anything to be ashamed of.” She tried to quiet the pounding of her heart. “When I tell Eathen that Dave made too much of this, he’ll understand.” But she knew he wouldn’t. No man would. It didn’t matter what a man did while gone from a woman’s side. They considered that as simply being a man. But God help the woman who gave a man reason to suspect her. And it wouldn’t matter how many years she had stayed true; it took one step out of line for her to be thrown to the side and branded unworthy. Her mind flashed on the night of the storm, when Dave had come looking for her. Could she in all honesty say nothing would have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted? “No,” she whispered. “I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t want him. I guess Eathen doesn’t have the wrong idea about me after all. If Wolfer hadn’t shown up when he did, I’d be no better than he is.” This time she allowed the tears to empty out of her soul on a scalding flow of guilt.
Eathen stood unmoving in the middle of the room, staring out at familiar sights he had seen almost daily for sixteen years, but the sight of Charlotte and Dave Houston wrapped in each other’s arms is all his numbed mind could reflect upon. A dull throb, keeping perfect pace with each beat of his heart, seemed to echo the same word over and over in his mind. Betrayal! Shaking his head, Eathen released a long pent-up breath, trying to reason out the heart-shattering truth he now had to face. “Of all the women I’ve ever known in this fucked up world, I would have gone to my grave believin’ in Charlotte.”
Walking over to the fireplace, he staggered small pieces of kindling on the floor of the cold hearth. Satisfied he had enough, he withdrew a match from the pocket of his shirt, struck it on the red bricks and held the flame to the kindling until it caught. When he knew all the pieces would continue burning, he placed a log on the pile then turned away, walking to a nearby chair. As he sat there, he kept seeing in his mind quick flashes of the years he and Charlotte had spent together. The way his heart had thumped in his chest the first time he had seen her. The way she had looked in her wedding gown walking towards him. And how happy she had made him when she told him they were going to have a child.
A smile cut across his face as he recalled walking into their room that morning and seeing Jessie lying in her mother’s arms. The smile vanished as he took the memory a step further and heard again the hurtful words he had hurled at her about his other women. Is that why she had turned to Houston, to punish him? If so, could he really blame her?
“
Yes, goddamnit!” He slammed a fist down on the arm of the chair as he answered his own question. “She’s the mother of my child, the one person in this whole damn world I believed in and trusted.” His breath stopped in his throat. “What if Houston ain’t the only one she’s betrayed me with? What if Jessie ain’t even my child?” He started to rise then fell back, unable to make himself walk out of the room and confront her with the doubts running rampant through his mind. He felt as though a floodgate had opened inside his head as memories kept spilling forth. With each memory the hand squeezing his heart tightened its grip a little harder.
All through the long day, Charlotte busied herself with Jessie as she waited. By ten o’clock that night, she finally gave up and went to her room. Unable to sleep, she lay awake waiting for Eathen to come to her. When the first rays of dawn crept into the room, she knew he waited for her to make the first move.
Throwing back the covers, she slid her long legs off the side of the bed. Without bothering with a robe, she left her room to confront her husband with what he had learned about her and Dave Houston.
Standing in the hall, she could see the soft glow from the fireplace beneath his door. Without bothering to knock, she turned the knob, pushing the door wide. He sat in a chair beside the bed, still clothed in his jeans and bloody work shirt, staring into the burning embers. She thought he hadn’t heard her enter the room, until he turned to look at her.
“
Come in, Charlotte,” he said, his voice little more than a whisper.
“
Eathen, I didn’t know if you’d be awake.”
“
I haven’t been to bed yet.” He turned his gaze back to the flames. “I can’t sleep with all the visions I have runnin’ through my mind. I know this sounds selfish,” his hands gripped the arms of the chair, “but I still have to ask. Why, Charlotte?”
“
I guess, because he was there.” She walked the rest of the way into the room. “He made me feel young and pretty again.” She pushed the door to behind her, and then stood watching him. “Somethin’ you haven’t done in a long time, Eathen.”
“
So, what you’re sayin’ is it’s all my fault. Because I’ve slept with others,” his voice rose higher, “that gives you the right to jump into the sack with another man.”
“
For what it’s worth, Eathen,” she held herself erect, trying not to panic, “I didn’t, as you put it, jump into the sack with anyone. Dave kissed me. That’s all!”
“
Ain’t that enough?” he yelled, lunging from his chair to stand before her. “For Christ’s sake, Charlotte, you’re my wife!”
“
And you’re my husband, Eathen!” She stood toe to toe with the harsh-breathing man glaring down at her. “You and I both know you did a lot more’n just kiss the other women you’ve been with!”
Choosing to ignore the obvious, he replied, “Now that this has come to light, how do I even know Jessie’s my daughter? Maybe Houston ain’t the only one.”
The slap she delivered across her husband’s face resounded throughout the quiet room. “Don’t you ever…insinuate…such a thing to me again, Eathen Thornton. Jessie’s the best part of both of us. Maybe the one good thing to come out of this whole relationship.”
“
I know one thing for certain, Charlotte,” he told her, his voice sounding much quieter now, “if I ever find out she ain’t mine,” he shook his head as he stood there, “I don’t think I could live with it.”
“
I’m tellin’ you now, Eathen, Jessie’s your daughter. No matter what you may think of me, you will never have any reason to doubt that.”
For a heart-stopping moment he turned to stare at her, waiting for her to look away. When she didn’t, he released the breath he had been holding. The relief flooding through Eathen’s mind at her unquestionable innocence dissolved all his anger. He loved her. Despite any other woman he might take to his bed, and he didn’t fool himself that there would be others, right at that moment, in his mind, he felt sure the woman who could replace Charlotte in his heart had yet to be born. “I guess I’ve really messed things up for us, haven’t I?”
For the first time in a long while, Charlotte took a good hard look at the man waiting for her to tell him there was still time for them to change. What she saw is the man she still loved with all her heart. Going over to him, she knelt down, taking his big hands in hers.
“
Eathen, I think it’s time we put all our bad feelin’s towards each other aside and get on with our lives. I love you. No matter what you’ve done,” she spread her fingers against his cheek, turning his face towards her, “or what I’ve done, I love you.”
Without a word, he lifted her to her feet, then into his arms, to carry her to their room. That day marked the beginning of a new way of life for them. One that would make them both happy for many years.
Chapter Twelve
Cut Bank, Montana 1904
At last the long, tiring journey came to an end as Charlotte felt the train brake in front of the Cut Bank depot. The painful memories she had allowed to spill forth with such clarity had all been tucked away where they belonged. Grabbing hold of the seat in front of her, she pulled herself to her feet, standing for a moment and trying to quiet her racing thoughts before facing the man whose strength she needed so much.
With slow steps, she moved down the narrow isles, glancing out the windows and searching for the one face she needed to see beyond all others.
“
God, don’t let him disappoint me,” she murmured, walking outside.
“
Miz Charlotte, over hyrah!” Hattie called, waving her big arms.
Lifting her hand in greeting, she could feel the pain she had kept bottled safe inside begin to bubble up in her throat. Swallowing, she whispered, “Oh please, don’t let me break down here.” Within moments she found herself wrapped in Hattie’s loving arms.
“
Did you have a safe trip, chile?”
The feelings overwhelming her made talking impossible. With a brief nod, she looked around.
“
He din come, Miz Charlotte,” Hattie told her. “Jes’ me an’ Tom come ter fotch you.”
Almost buckling under her husband’s callous treatment, Charlotte leaned against the strong arm supporting her.
“
Come on, Miz Charlotte, we’s gwing ter gits you home.” Turning her attention to the sandy-haired young man standing nearby, she nodded, “Tom, tek hole of her other arm an’ he’p me gits her ter de buggy. Ah think she’s had ‘bout all she kin tek.”
The short, lean ranch-hand moved to do as Hattie told him. “Come on, Miss Charlotte, the buggy’s right over here.” Tom locked a hand on her arm. “You’ll feel a lot better when you get home. Mister Eathen’s waitin’ for you.”
At the mention of her husband, Charlotte stopped, the anger she felt right at that moment giving her the strength she needed. “He’s at the ranch and he couldn’t find time to come meet me? After all I’ve gone through alone?” Her shrill voice rose, drawing stares from passengers walking past. “He couldn’t tear himself away long enough to meet me?”
“
Now, Miz Charlotte, doan go gitin’ yo’seff all riled up,” Hattie soothed, trying to steer her in the direction of the buggy. “Der bes plen’y of time fer dat w’en you gits home.”
“
I want to get myself riled.” She shrugged Hattie’s hand from her shoulder. “I want to get riled and stay riled ‘til I have that thoughtless son-of-a-bitch within reachin’ distance!”
During the long ride to the ranch, Charlotte could feel her anger rising, until at last they pulled up in the front yard. Throwing off the lap rug, Charlotte left the buggy. “You might wanta stay outside for a while,” she called back over her shoulder. “This could get ugly.”