Fated Truth (The True Witch Saga) (19 page)

“Knock harder
.” He started digging through his duffle, still holding his towel tightly closed.

“I want you to come with me and Jaxx to a cabin he
knows about. I need you to help me train. You were right about my control,” I said grudgingly. He looked at me slack jawed. “Hey! I can admit when I am wrong about some things.” I shrugged and started to pick at my nail beds. A nervous habit.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I
seem to set you off.”

I look
ed at him fully. Eyes to eyes. Soul to Soul. “Gavin, I was wrong to try and hurt you. You were just trying to help. I love you. I know I don’t show it well. Maybe I don’t say it well either, but the truth is, you are the second most important person in the world to me, Jaxx being the first, of course.” When he doesn’t answer me, just stands there staring at me trying to read my intent, I frown.

“Come here I want to
try something,” he beckoned. I walked over to him and he took my hands. “Here press your palms to mine.” I pressed my palms to his. “Now close your eyes and think of nothing. Just clear your head of thoughts.” I closed my eyes and blanked out everything around me. “Now I want you to think about me. Nothing, but me.”

I
did as he asked and thought of Gavin. How I felt when I first saw him, the mirror of myself. How I felt when I saw the sadness and loneliness in his eyes that mirrored mine. I thought about how happy I was to have someone that was mine. And mine alone. That would never leave me. That no one could take away from me. He was my soul twin. My blood. My brother. My only family. I thought about how he annoyed me and made me smile with his snarky remarks. I also thought about the deep welling of love I had for him that would never run dry. I opened my eyes and saw that he had tears running silently down his cheeks. “I see you Gavin. I see all of you. And I want you in my life. I will love you eternally no matter what.”

“Even
if I kill someone?” He chuckled like he was joking, but I think maybe he isn’t.

“I’ll bring the shovel.” I smile
d, threw myself into him and hugged him to me tightly.

“Okay okay,” h
e said, shoving me off. “Get out before you see more than I want you too,” he laughed.

“So you will come with us?”

“You aren’t getting rid of me that easily.”

I turn
ed and left him to get dressed feeling lighter than I had all morning. I found Jaxx in the kitchen finishing his call. “Did you get everything worked out?” I asked him as I walked into his arms.

He kissed
me on the forehead. “Yes, I’m going to rent a secluded cabin from a member of my clan.”

I pull
ed back and looked into his eyes. They are troubled. “What’s wrong? And when do I get to meet your clan? You’ve met my family. Well, what I call my family.”

“That’s the problem
. They want to meet you.
Badly.
They are anxious.”

“That’s a problem why?” I
tried to pull back.
Is he ashamed of me?

“I know what you are thinking
, and it isn’t that. They are a ruthless, but honorable clan. They will test you when they meet you. And you are not ready. I need more time to train you.”

“Then I guess it
is a good thing I want to get the fuck out of here for bit.”

“Yes, my
love. It is.” He pulled me tighter against him.

He still looked
troubled. I tried not to worry about it. I was strong, stronger than most Trues, according to Seb. Gavin came down the stairs with his duffle over his shoulder ready to hit the road.

“Are we
all riding together or can I take my bike?” Gavin asked Jaxx.

“I wish I could take my bike.” I grumble
d.

“Your bike will be ready in about a week
, pretty eyes. And I figured we could all take the Lexus. Safety in numbers.”

Gavin ca
ught my look. He glanced at Jaxx and noticed that he was worried about something as well.

“Well get your ass packed so I can go to my
uncle’s and get the shit I need.” I slapped Jaxx on his ass on his way out of the room.

“What has him up in arms?” Gavin
asked me.

“He said he was wigging because his clan wants to meet me. That they are ruthless and will want to test me or some shit. Maybe they want to make sure
I’m good enough for him.”

“You are too good for anyone
, Ella.”

“
Awww! I knew you were sweet.” I snuggled into his side.

“Shut it. Don’t tell anyone.”

I laughed. Jaxx was back down quickly carrying a duffle with him. “Road trip!” I shouted and laughed, pumping my arm in the air.

“Dork!” Gavin poked
me in the side making me jump.

Chapter Fourteen

Dropping the Bomb

We stopped at my uncle’s house for me to pack a bag before we hit the road. Jaxx had been si
lent since we left his house. My teasing him with sexy panties while I was packing didn’t even get a rise out of him.

“Jaxx
, seriously, I’m tired of the damn silent treatment. Either spit out whatever is bothering you or turn around and take us all home.”

He huffed a breath and turned toward me as he drove
. “There’s nothing wrong, Ella. You are imagining things.”

“Oh fuck! You did not just go there!” Gavin said from the backseat chuckling.

“I have tried to coax it out of you by being sweet. Now I’m fixing to pull a bitch.”

Jaxx slammed on his breaks and swerved
the Lexus to the side of the road jamming it into park. I was holding onto the dashboard for dear life. Shaking and breathing hard.

“What the fuck
, dude? Her best friend was almost killed in a car accident last night! And you pull that shit?” Gavin shouted from the backseat.

Jaxx jumped out of the car and started
to stomp down the side of the road heading nowhere. I looked back at Gavin and shook my head. I didn’t know what was up his ass, but I was fixing to find out. “Stay, I’ll go,” I said as I slammed my door and ran to catch up with Jaxx. “Are you going to tell me what I did wrong now? Or are you going to sulk for the rest of the trip?” I inquired when I finally caught up with him. He kept walking so I grabbed his arm and swung him around toward me. “Jaxx!”

“You didn’t
do anything wrong. Okay? It’s me! I didn’t tell you something about my clan, about me and I’m afraid that I might lose you when you find out!”

“Wha
t could be so bad that you thought I could walk away from you over it?”

“I don’t want to tell you. Please
, Ella, just let it go. Please don’t make me get into this on the side of a fucking road.”

I
was getting pissed now. You don’t drop a bomb like that, allude that he knew or did something that could end us, or could make me put an end to us then just walk on like nothing happened. Like nothing had been said. “Fuck, no! You tell me right now or I make my own way back home with my brother and he can train my ass alone. I don’t need this shit. I have had enough stress the last few days to last me a lifetime.” I argued.
Hmmm this is what fighting with a boyfriend is like.

“I lied to you okay? Is that what you want to hear? I lied about you being my first!
About that being our first time. It wasn’t
mine
,” he said, his voice filled with anguish.

I stoo
d there, completely still. Mute. I didn’t know what to say to that. I mean with someone his age you would have thought that he’d had lovers before, many of them, but to lie about it? The fact that he’d lied about it was what hurt the most. Why lie at all? I wouldn’t have held it against him. I was new to the True Witch race. I didn’t know all the rules. The rule that said you were celibate until you met your destined. He didn’t have to completely crush me by dropping that bomb on me. “Who is she? Or was she? Are you still in contact with her?” I asked after a moment.

“SEE!” He shouted
the word at me.” This is why I didn’t want to talk about it. The questions! Fuck this!”

“No
,” I said in a dead voice. I could barely see his face in the moonlight, but I could see how twisted it was. Whatever else he was keeping from me was even worse than being with some random girl once to scratch an itch.

“Tell me,
” I demanded, but I didn’t scream at him. I didn’t shout. I just kept my voice in monotone.

Jaxx dropped to sit in the grass that lined
the Interstate. He dropped his elbows to his knees and his head to his hands. “Her name is Valkyrie,” he said softly. “She is a prominent member of my clan. We’ve known each other since we were barely able to walk and we were always together growing up,” Jaxx said and then paused.

“Don’t stop there, finish it,” I said, feeling my heart twist in my chest.

He nodded. “Everything started innocently enough, a brush of a hand, a peck on the cheek. I always knew she wanted more from me, but I never gave her any signs that I was receptive, I swear,” Jaxx said, looking in my eyes and then he looked away as he continued. “Then I got drunk one night, about a hundred years ago. I was depressed that I hadn’t found my destined yet. I was deep in my cups and she seduced me. I woke up the next morning in a strange bed with her naked, and draped across me. I told her that it would never happen again. I meant it. I knew that once I found you that you would walk among the people of my clan. I didn’t want you to feel like you came second to me in any way or form,” he pleaded with me to understand.

I he
ld up my hand and stopped him there. There was something that I had to know. I could tell how important it was, now that you were supposed to save yourself for your destined. He had explained that very well. “How many times? I asked. I felt like my throat was closing up.

“Just the once and I don’t even remember it,” he whispered
barely loud enough for me to hear.

“You lied to me! WHY?
You could have told me the truth. I would have understood. I was raised by Norms. Most people my age have had multiple partners. You didn’t have to pretend that it was your first time,” I shouted even louder. I laughed suddenly remembering his answer to my question, when I’d asked him how he had become so good at what he did in the sack. “
Research
you said, you practiced on her! And you are still in contact with her. You look so ashamed. So why are you still talking to her?” I was too blind by shock and hurt to understand what he was saying to me. “When was the last time you fucked her?”

He loo
ked up at me with tears in his eyes. “Just that once!” he roared at me. “But once was enough to ruin me, to ruin what we have,” he sighed, blowing out a long breath.

I slump
ed forward and started to retch. Nothing came up since I had eaten very little lately. “In our-” I stopped. “I mean your bed? Did she have you in your bed? Did she take you where you took me? Your
destined
for the first time?”

“NO!” he exploded, jumping to his feet, trying
to touch me.

I pull
ed away as if his touch would burn me.

“I would never
do that! I never took her in our bed! That is sacred!”

“And staying celibate isn’t? Lying to me isn’t?” I stop
ped mid rant. He had been in a funk since he got off the phone with someone about the cabin we were traveling too. “Who owns the cabin that you are taking us to?” His face twisted and I knew my answer. “Is that where you would meet? To do your
research
?” I snarled at him. “Yeah. Your silence says enough.” I was not crying now. I felt too frozen inside. Like someone had taken a dull spoon and gutted me, hollowed out.

“I don’t talk to he
r. I don’t even think about her,” he pleaded with me. “I haven’t seen her in more than a century. Her father owns the cabin. It has nothing to do with her,” he implored me to understand.

“You were going to take me and my brother to a place where we could run into someone that you broke one of the
biggest taboos of our race with?” I roared at him. Jaxx wasn’t the man I thought he was. He was a liar. Everything about us had been a lie, a callous lie. “Does Seb know? Did he keep this from me?”

Jaxx just shook
his head in the negative. He stood still as stone, searching my face for something. Whatever he saw there, he didn’t like. He looked like he’d found the answer that finally broke him. He turned his back to me, found a shaft of moonlight and dissolved into mists, leaving me alone on the side of the highway. I wondered where we could have possibly gone so very fucking wrong.

When he disappeared from view I lost it,
slumping to the dirt, I broke. Shattered. Nothing was holding me together now. I had nothing left. I was empty, a husk that a weak breeze could blow away. All I could think about was why?
Why did he lie? I would have understood, just as I told him. I would have found a way to work around this. He left me,
I thought.
After dropping this shit on my lap. He just left.
My head fell to my knees and I started wrenching at my hair, pulling it out by the roots as I screamed bloody murder at the top of my lungs.