Fear and Aggression (23 page)

Mike stopped short when he saw them, and
stared at Aspiria. Steve couldn’t tell if he was shocked by the
obvious security breach, or if he was taken away by Aspiria’s
beauty.

“
What do you think?” asked
Tammy indicating Aspiria.

“
Wow!” he
exclaimed.

Aspiria smiled and gave a
little curtsey.
It is shocking how easy it
is to forget that she isn’t human
, thought
Steve.
The way that she carries herself,
even that little curtsey—it’s not modern, but it is somehow
timeless. If I hadn’t picked her up on an alien world, and seen her
genetic report, I’d never believe that she is anything other than a
classic woman. Aspiria is pure class!

Mike didn’t say anything else, but he gave
the group room to pass by. As they passed, he turned his head and
continued to watch. He lifted his eyebrows and slowly shook his
head as they left his view. “Wow is all I’ve got to say!” he
muttered under his breath. No, Mike, at least for the moment,
didn’t have security on his mind at all.

The group turned to the right and entered a
darker hall. Aspiria was all eyes. She was engaged by everything
she saw. Her spirits had truly been lifted by the opportunity to
get made up today. Her heart continued to be heavy, but her spirit
was definitely lifted. She felt a hope that she had not felt
before. She felt that, although Steve was the Captain, her fate was
in Tammy’s hands. Until last night she had not had anything other
than cool or cold interaction with Tammy. For the first time, Tammy
was warm and kind. The idea that Tammy would give her so many
things—things she could not have even wished for—was unbelievable.
Maybe Tammy had gotten what she needed, and she was now going to be
open to what Aspiria needed: to get back to her family. At least,
this kindness showed that there was an opening— some hope. The
strangeness of her surroundings began to give Aspiria the
impression that they were underground. Aspiria was trying to figure
out how to ask this, when a scene so shocking befell her eyes that
all she could do was gasp.

Both Steve and Tammy looked at Aspiria in
wonderment. Aspiria had gasped and then stopped. Her hands went
over her mouth, and all of the color left her face. Steve could see
her start to shake. As he looked to where she was looking, he
noticed the large observation window. It was lit up with the most
glorious view of the planet that they were orbiting—Aspiria’s home
world. Aspiria began to walk forward towards it, in a trancelike
motion. She stopped a few feet from the large window, where the
view of her world filled her entire field of vision. Tammy and
Steve advanced some, but stopped several feet behind her.

Slowly, Aspiria walked up
to the window, put her hands on the pane, and leaned in, carrying
some of her weight by her hands. She did not appear to blink. The
expression on her face was complete awe. Steve thought,
She has probably never seen a view like this
before. Even though I had seen pictures, I remember how amazing it
was when I first looked at the earth from space.
After what seemed like a long time she turned
towards Steve and Tammy. The look on her face was something
entirely different. It was the look of fear mingled with
disillusion—and anger.

“
This is
my
world?” she
asked.

Steve nodded his head. A sickening feeling
began to develop within him. Aspiria turned back to the window, and
slowly sunk to her knees, with her hands still on the window. It
had never occurred to Steve that she did not know where she was.
She knew that she had been captured, but she was unconscious as she
was brought onto the ship. For the first few days she had seen the
crew in space suits every day. But she didn’t know what space suits
were. There were no windows in the lab. The ship was exceedingly
quiet; there was no hum from the engines. There had been no feeling
of motion. Aspiria thought that she was on her world. Someone
strange had taken her, but not someone from another world. To her
they were foreign, not alien.

He sensed a convergence with her feelings
now, a convergence with the feelings that he had felt the night
before. The look in her eye told him so much. He and Aspiria had
built a rapport over the past several days, yet when he knew that
she was an alien, his good feelings had turned completely sour.
Love had turned to hatred; friendship to enmity. He wanted to rid
himself from anything that resembled kinship with her. She was not
what she seemed; he was not going to be sucked into this perception
that she was like him.

Now he sensed what she was
feeling. She could know nothing about other worlds, or the ability
of beings from other worlds to travel between them. She could not
even comprehend being in a ship—orbiting a planet. Yet she was
staring out of the window of a spacecraft at her own world.
Did she think that we are from her world too? No,
she asked if, ‘This is
my
world,’ not ‘
our
world.’
Everything she
could imagine was changing at this very instant. There were beings
from another world that could travel in space, and they had found
her, her world, and her people. The sickness inside of him
increased exponentially as she realized that these space travelers
had come to take her, to test her, to experiment on her, and to
learn all that they could from her, about her world and her people.
They did not have any of her interests at heart. They were using
her to get what they wanted. And
he
was
they
. He had drugged her and taken
her away. He allowed any and every experiment to be done to her. He
had allowed her to be exposed to his antibiotic-resistant bacteria.
He had never asked if she had a family, or friends, or a husband,
or children. Now she knew what he was and what he had done to
her.

Whatever she had thought before, it was
infinitely worse now. Somehow he thought that she understood
before, but she did not know the half of it. She had overcome her
fears, and had tried to communicate—to understand her
circumstances. She had cooperated and been kind. She had brought
life, charm, and excitement to the ship and crew. She was giving
humankind the greatest of gifts of knowledge. She had dealt with
her circumstances with dignity and strength. The look that she had
given to him and Tammy told so much. “You are not who you seemed to
be,” it seemed to say. “I am in a much worse situation than I could
have possibly imagined. I have given you so much—in hopes that I
may be returned to my home; in so doing I have compromised my home
and my people. If this is how you treat me—take me and tell me
nothing—what will you do to my world? What more are you going to do
to me?—to take from me? Why is all of this happening?” she must be
thinking.

Steve began to feel a deep
sense of remorse. He had never really allowed himself to consider
that his actions were anything other than noble, up to this point.
He was a discoverer and was doing as discoverers do. He was
protecting his home, his people, and his way of life. Aspiria and
her people were a possible threat. Shouldn’t he do what he could to
protect all that was his?
If there was a
world of intelligent beings out there, and we discover them first,
then shouldn’t we be on the offense? Shouldn’t we find out all that
we can about them, before they discover us? Shouldn’t we
win?
But now he was staring at the object
of his quest. He was also staring at beauty, innocence, purity,
elegance, and everything good. Aspiria did not represent a threat
to his people or to his world. She represented hope. Yet, he felt
inside that he did not represent that to her. He did not represent
goodness, or any of it. He represented cowardice, evil, and
thievery. He felt ashamed, and he began to feel the pain that she
was feeling.

He looked over at Tammy, and tried to read
her expression. Tammy looked concerned, but not overly so. Aspiria
was starting to sob now, and she was not making any attempt to hold
it back. Her head had dropped and was leaning against the window.
She slowly turned, and sat up with her back against the window. She
seemed to have lost all of her strength and all of her control.
What could he do to console her? What she was feeling was not
exaggerated. Tammy walked up and sat by Aspiria. She slowly put her
arm around her shoulder and held her. “You didn’t know where you
were, did you?”

Aspiria shook her head and continued to sob.
“You didn’t know who we were.” Aspiria continued to sob, but she
allowed Tammy to hold her and accepted the comfort that she tried
to give. Over a period of several minutes her sobbing began to
soften. She had looked so beautiful only minutes before, and now
she was tear stained—her make-up was running, her nose running, and
her eyes were swollen. Her face had the wearied look of someone who
had been through the worst of a war. Yet, through it all, she
accepted Tammy’s attempt at consolation. She did not lash out, and
she did not try to distance herself from them, as Steve had wanted
to do the day before. She was still an angel in every way, but now
an angel who had been abused, and was showing the effects of her
battering.

The only consolation for Steve was that
Tammy had witnessed this too, and that she too seemed to
understand. Together, they could solve the dilemma that was in
front of him. What he had just witnessed, he did not know how to
put into a report. How could he describe a people that were good,
and presented no harm to him or to his world? Perhaps, not everyone
was like her. But the only sample he had, indicated the best that a
creature could be.

“
When do I return?”
Aspiria muttered when she had composed herself enough to speak. She
looked at Tammy, and then at Steve.

“
In time,” Steve replied
with hesitation.

She took him at his word; what else could
she do? She nodded, as she tried to take deep breaths and regain
her composure. Tammy did not look at Steve, nor acknowledge his
reply. She continued to hold her, and rub her shoulders. Steve
wanted to leave, and let the women sort this out together. But he
thought that it would be unsafe for Tammy. He couldn’t believe
Aspiria capable of any violence, yet he couldn’t justify not
accepting the possibility of it, especially in her current state.
As Aspiria began to regain her presence, he felt some peace
returning to his soul. He also felt his love for Tammy deepen. He
had never witnessed her loving nature, except when expressed to
him. He admired her more, and appreciated this aspect of her
feminine charm. His world really was better with Tammy. Even these
difficulties that lied in front of him, could be worked through
with Tammy by his side. It would all be okay.

For the next two days, Tammy suggested that
Steve only come in periodically to check on things in the lab. She
didn’t think that Aspiria, or he, would be up to their regular
exercises. Tammy continued to let Aspiria take time to make herself
up, and she continued to share her cosmetics and clothes with her.
Tammy and Aspiria talked, but Aspiria was not as open as she had
been before. Tammy did not pry, and instead opened up more with
Aspiria. She told her about the earth and many things about her
culture. She talked about her family. Aspiria listened, with
particular interest, when Tammy discussed her family. Towards the
end of the second day, Aspiria shared, for the first time, that she
had a husband and a son. Tears came to her eyes again as she talked
of her love and concern for them. She asked if there were other
ships, and if others had been taken. Tammy assured her that her
family was fine, and that this was the only ship.

Aspiria had many questions, but she was
careful to not share, or ask too much. Still, to the extent that
she had cooperated with these people from another world, they had
been more open with her. She was living much more comfortably among
them now. She still slept in her cell, and certainly she did not
have free reign throughout the ship, but she was no longer under
constant surveillance. Instead, she was treated with respect and
kindness. She still felt that her welfare and destiny was
controlled by Tammy, even more than by Steve. She wanted to bond
with Tammy as much as possible. Aspiria genuinely liked her, though
she felt very concerned about some of Tammy’s cultural norms. When
Aspiria expressed some shock or concern, Tammy seemed to smile at
her condescendingly.

The next day, Steve decided to return to the
lab and continue working with her on their languages. He came in
and grabbed the tablet. Aspiria’s language had improved over the
past two days which she had spent talking with Tammy. Aspiria was
back in her own dress, but she had spent time on her hair and
make-up; her countenance had improved significantly. They worked
together for a couple of hours. Neither Steve, nor Aspiria, worked
as intensely as they had before. Still, progress was made. Steve
worked on her language. She was a little guarded at first, but
slowly opened up. Steve asked her to teach to him her family’s
member’s names. He wanted to be able to speak their names, as
clearly in her language as possible. The inflections and tones were
extremely difficult, but he made some progress. Aspiria appreciated
the interest that he was taking in her family. Danny let Steve know
that lunch was ready, over the intercom. “Bring Aspiria’s and my
lunch here,” he said back. He had never shared a meal with Aspiria
before, but he didn’t want to stop.