Fear and Aggression (6 page)

After checking the latest news on the L.A.
Dodgers, Steve changed into his formal Captain’s attire, and headed
out to Captain’s dining for dinner. Showing up a little early, and
expecting to be the first there, he was taken aback by seeing,
already seated, Kenny Spearman and another man whom he was not
familiar with. He headed towards the table and before he knew it,
the two men stood to attention and saluted him.

“
Captain Jenners, this is
James Smith,” spoke Kenny.

“
Pleased to meet you,
Captain Jenners,” replied James. James was a thirty-two-year-old
black man. He had moderately dark skin, very short hair, and two
small vertical scars on his left check. His head was somewhat big
and long, and he had a very sober expression on his face. Kenny, on
the other hand, had a warmer expression on his face. Kenny had
light brown, curly hair that was now more gray than brown. He wore
a full beard, about half an inch long, that had the exact same
coloration as his hair. He had a large build, and a large head with
particularly large hands, but he was neither overweight nor very
tall, about 5'11".

“
Pleased to meet you,
too,” Steve replied. Just then Mike walked up. “Hey, Mike, this is
James Smith, and you know Kenny Spearman.”

Mike shook both of their hands. “I sure do.
How’re you doing? I know James, too, but I thought you were a
computer guy?”

“
He sure is, the best in
the business,” interjected Kenny. “I jumped at the chance to have
James on board with me,” he said, obviously wanting Steve to be
pleased with his selection.

“
Let’s sit down,” said
Steve, and the four men settled down to a bit of ice-breaking, and
some jockeying for position. John Carryman, one of the most
experienced and celebrated Captains on the Space Force, walked in
the room and headed over to Steve’s table.

“
Captain Jenners, looks
like your first crew’s shaping up. Well, I wish you the best on
your maiden voyage.” He scanned the table for a moment, and then
with a look of concern stated, “Looks like you've surrounded
yourself with the best; but where is your navigator?”

“
We’ll be assigned one
tomorrow,” Steve answered beginning to feel uncomfortable both in
Captain Carryman’s presence, and by this recurring theme and
concern.

“
There aren’t many left to
choose from; most everyone has been assigned already. I’d hate to
think who’s left,” he said matter-of-factly, and yet
condescendingly.

Steve, feeling a bit belittled, embarrassed,
and now defensive, wanted to explain himself. At first he wanted to
tell why Mike was so invaluable, then how he would have expected
Kenny to get a navigator—which he almost did—but realizing how
Kenny was so pleased to have James on board, and seeing that it
would be insulting to both Kenny and James, and further knowing how
making excuses would make him look weak in front of his
subordinates, he sat silent for a moment. He then replied, “We may
not get the most experienced navigator, but we have good
navigational experience between us; I think we’ll be fine. Thank
you for your concern.”

“
You do have some great
expertise here. Captain Jenners, men: best of luck to
you.”

“
Thank you’s”, and “best
of luck to you, also” rang from the table as Captain Carryman went
to the other end of the dining hall. The dining hall was like a
glorified school cafeteria. Attempts were made to give it an upper
echelon appearance, but eating there made one feel more like they
were in grade school, then having a fine dining
experience.

For a few minutes the conversation that had
not really began, was already quenched. James, who had a good sense
about him, and a delightful social tact, punctured the silence.
“Captain Jenners, I'm real proud to be a part of your crew. I've
heard real good things about you, and I plan on makin’ you proud. I
think there is a good chance that one of these missions will be
successful.”

“
Let me tell you a little
about James, Captain,” Kenny followed. “James is a large part of
the reason that these ZX-120’s were designed the way that they are.
They’re designed to analyze living cultures; aliens. James has been
very successful in analyzing the readouts, and he has found several
potential spots to investigate; systems that have planets, likely
with the characteristics to support life. He’s presented convincing
enough evidence that before sending a ship out there, they wanted
to be ready for the event that we find what we are looking for.
This planet and moon we’re orbiting, James found.”

“
There are some systems
out there that I've caught some weak signals from that don’t seem
random. I’m hoping that we get assigned to one of those systems.”
The excitement was obviously boiling within him. Here was a man
that was doing what he was doing for the pure love of it. He was
not looking for promotion, or even recognition; just
accomplishment.

“
The man’s got a nose for
this type of thing; if there is intelligent life out there—James is
going to find it.”

The computer specialist, besides helping the
pilot and navigator in getting to the right place, and keeping the
systems running, was responsible for the research astronomy. The
computer specialist was to analyze the raw data that was constantly
being gathered. Considered a very technical job by most, James
somehow was able to read between the lines, and see patterns beyond
the formulas. He made predictions that were not possible based on
the level of accuracy of the measurements he would make, and then
they would pan out to be true. He too was indispensable in his
position, but he had no desire to be promoted to something else. He
was doing what he loved, and was well-respected for it.

Steve and Mike had been silent, listening.
Both of them were feeling a tinge of remorse. Mike’s motivation was
to execute his assignment with flawless perfection, and he wanted
the personal recognition. Steve was seeking personal success:
advanced ranks, praise, and glory. Neither Steve nor Mike had
thought much of the ultimate success of the mission: finding
intelligent alien life. Steve had thought it would be his job to
motivate the crew to a successful mission, doing what was expected.
But here he was confronted by two men who wanted the ultimate goal
of the missions realized. He was already beginning to feel that he
was the student here, and not the teacher. Besides this, he was
starting to feel unsettled about the situation without a
navigator.

Mike knew a little more of James and Kenny,
and their passion for their work. But he was taken aback by the
expectation that first, alien life existed, and second, that we
were close to finding it. “So you really think they are out
there?”

“
Yeah, I don’t see why
not. We’re only just beginning to narrow in on places that have
potential, but we are going to find something out there. Whether
it’s advanced or intelligent, I don’t know, but those signals I’ve
seen are uncanny.”

“
James has shown me some
of his stuff,” interrupted Kenny. “The Space Force is real serious
about it too—with these ZX-120’s.”

Steve was starting to feel excited. He had
initially joined the Space Force hoping in the back of his mind
that he would be a part of something exciting like this. But in the
daily routine, he had lost sight of it until now. The dinner
arrived, and it looked good. Better than normal rations.

“
Eat up gentlemen,
thrilling times are ahead,” Steve exclaimed with an air of
confidence. He wanted to re-assert his role of leader, and not
follower. Plus, he, too, was feeling a renewed sense of destiny.
Lighter conversation followed, and as they began to wind up the
meal Steve gave his first orders, “Meet me in the sky dome at 5:30
AM, dressed and ready to go. I will have a printout of the rest of
our crew assignments, and our mission. I’m sure each of you wants
the info as soon as it’s available. Plus, I want the remainder of
the crew to understand how seriously we take our work. We’re going
to get this off on the right foot.”

Steve had trouble sleeping. He tried closing
his eyes for a while, but his mind was racing too quickly. So he
laid and stared out his window for a very long time. With new eyes
he gazed at the planet, the moon, and the stars. A boyhood
excitement filled him, and he thought about what he was about to
embark on. Not the particulars that had recently so encumbered his
mind, but rather the big picture. He thought about what he was
doing in the same way that his little brother Mark thought of it.
He began to think of Mark, and was excited to talk to him tomorrow.
He knew that he was bigger than life in that boys mind, and he
wanted his little brother to be so proud of him. Slowly the
melatonin overcame the rapid synaptic firings, and he drifted into
a peaceful, though shallow, sleep.

The alarm blasted at 4:45 AM and it felt as
if his eyes had just shut. At the same time his heart raced with
excitement. His full crew, mission, and all the details he desired
would be on his email in fifteen minutes. He hurried and showered,
then got dressed. Overall, things seemed quiet around him, and he
figured that he was just getting an earlier start than most of the
Captains. At 5:00 AM the email had not yet arrived, so he finished
his hair, shaved, and made sure that he was all together. 5:07 AM,
it arrived and he sent it directly to the printer. His grandpa had
returned his email from yesterday, and they were awaiting his phone
call later. The reports were printed for each crew member, and he
grabbed the stack and headed to the Skylab. He certainly wanted to
be early, and was hoping to beat everyone there this time.

He was out of luck again. He arrived at 5:20
AM, and everyone was there in full uniform, sitting on some sofas
near the back observation window. The planet and moon were not in
sight through the large window, but instead, the most perfect
star-scape imaginable was in full view. The men stood to greet him,
and he quickened his pace to hand them each a packet with the
details.

“
How does it look?” asked
Kenny with a smile and some enthusiasm.

“
I just got it printed and
headed up here; I haven’t had a chance to look,” he said as he
handed Kenny, then Mike, and finally James their papers.

James raced past the crew information, and
started to read the details of their mission. Steve went right to
the crew info: Steve Jenners, Captain, okay, skip, Kenny Spearman,
Pilot, uh-huh, skip, third ranking officer, Navigator - Bob Merick,
never heard of him. Promoted to Navigator date—today?—three
previous missions as Secretary? Well-liked, no Navigational
experience, twenty-six years old. He looked up to see what the
other men thought of their navigator, but they were much more
concerned with where they were going, than who they were going
with. James had what appeared to be a look of despair on his
face.

Kenny, the consummate team player, said as
cheery as possible, “Looks like were headed to an uncharted
region.”

“
Not analyzed, either,”
interjected James, trying to sound unaffected. “It looks like they
want my skills put to the test again. I thought I might get to take
it to the next level this time.”

“
With this distance, it
sounds like they want to put my engine to the test, also,” Mike
said with some excitement.

“
What do you think of our
Navigator; new guy we're training?” asked Steve.

Kenny rummaged through the papers and then
got a concerned expression on his face, “Bob Merick, huh?”

“
Do you know him?” Steve
inquired.

“
Yeah, I know Bob. He was
Secretary on a mission of mine, six…seven months ago,” he
answered.

“
What’s he
like?”

“
Oh, he’s a real nice guy.
I’m just surprised to see he’s a navigator.”

“
He may be surprised, as
well,” said Mike. “He just got promoted today, and he may not be up
yet.” Mike continued to scour the papers.

“
Do you think he will be
alright?” asked Steve wanting the full story, not just the
abstract.

“
He’ll have to be. It’s
just that he didn’t seem interested in that sort of thing. He was
so excited to be in the Space Force, and on a mission; but he was
never interested in the technical details.”

“
It’s not easy navigating
in areas that haven’t been analyzed. You have to watch what’s going
on almost without blinking,” stated James. “We’ll all have to be on
our toes.”

“
Looks like you are going
to have your strange life form to analyze, James. We’ve got a
civilian on board,” said Mike.

“
I can see that. And it’s
a female of the species. So this could be interesting—a Ms. Tammy
Rogers, of the medical and research division. She’ll probably be
running the lab, but without some specimens, she’ll not be very
busy,” retorted James.

“
Maybe she can cook. We’ve
got a brand new guy for secretary, Danny Wang. He’s only
twenty-three, and it’s his first mission,” Kenny commented. Kenny
always appreciated having a good cook, which fell under the
secretary’s duties.

Steve, who was having a
hard time getting past his navigator woes, hardly noticed when
James mentioned Tammy’s name; but the brain cells that held this
audible message in memory successfully brought it to
consciousness.
Tammy Rogers, that’s the
pretty girl I've been noticing around here!
he thought to himself, and he felt excited again; allowing
his concerns about the navigator, temporarily, to leave
him.