Fearless (23 page)
“I won’t stay long,” Jay said when she hesitated. “I was just wondering if we could talk for a few minutes.”
“Sure, come on in and have a seat. Can I take your coat?”
“No, that’s okay. Thanks.”
She glanced at the bottle of white wine sitting on the table. He would probably think she’d been drowning her sorrows, which she was. Not that it was helping; if anything, it was making her feel worse. She was in training for her next marathon and had been eating a clean diet for months. All the toxins in her body were swimming around in the pit of her stomach, making her feel nauseous. At least that’s what she preferred to think was the cause. She didn’t want to believe a broken heart could make a person feel physically sick. “Can I get you something to drink?”
He smiled. “No, I’m good.”
“I didn’t mean wine. I meant soda, or water, or I think I have some milk?” She knew she was rambling, but she couldn’t help herself.
His cell phone rang, but he chose to ignore it without checking the call display.
She smiled. “This must be important. A teenager who’s willing to miss a call on a Saturday night?”
“It is important, Lexi.”
She gestured toward a pair of chairs. “Then by all means, have a seat and make yourself comfortable. I’m all ears.”
He sat down in a chair and waited for her to claim a seat on the sofa. “This may be none of my business, but...”
“This is about me and your dad, isn’t it?”
“Lexi, Mike and I like you a lot...”
She reached across the distance between them and squeezed his hand. “It’s okay, Jay. You don’t have to explain. Every kid wants their parents to get back together. I’m happy for you guys, really, I think it’s great.”
He frowned. “What are you talking about?”
She pulled her hand back and settled it in her lap. “I heard your parents were getting back together.” She put her hand over her mouth. “Oh I’m sorry; maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe they wanted to surprise you boys with the news.”
Jay laughed. “Lexi, I don’t know where you got your information, but my parents aren’t getting back together.”
“But your mother told Sierra...”
“My mom may have been hoping for them to get back together, but trust me, it’s not gonna happen.”
She looked down, afraid he might see the spark of hope in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Jay.”
“Don’t be. I’m not. She doesn’t deserve him.”
Lexi looked up, surprised by his harsh words. She knew both boys were close to their mother; she couldn’t imagine what might have happened to cause a rift between them. “Why would you say that?”
“She cheated on him.” He spit the words out, like they left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Lexi’s head was spinning. She was trying to process Jay’s words. How long had they been back together? When would she have had the time to cheat on him and why, when the reconciliation was obviously something she wanted. “I don’t understand.”
“She cheated on him when they were married. With Derek. Can you believe that?” He got up and began stalking the room. “She cheated on my dad with his best freaking friend. Derek was like an uncle to Mike and I. Now I find out he was banging our mom. It makes me sick just thinking about it.”
She thought about reprimanding him for his poor choice of language, but she knew it wasn’t the time and she wasn’t the person to do it. What’s more, he had every right to be angry and confused. She found it hard to believe that the man she had befriended over the past week was capable of such betrayal. “Does your dad know about this?” she asked quietly.
“He just found out last night. Derek told him and he confronted her about it this morning,” Jay said, still pacing the floor.
“Is that the reason your parents aren’t getting back together?”
He stopped pacing long enough to look at her. He frowned, looking confused. “No, they were never planning on getting back together. At least Dad wasn’t. I don’t know what the hell my mom had dreamed up.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“Positive, I heard the whole thing when he came over this morning.” He settled back into the chair he had vacated and sighed. “They thought I was listening to music, but I could tell by the look on my old man’s face when he walked in that something was up. I thought Mike or I had done something to piss him off, so I listened in. I never expected to hear anything like that.” He hung his head. “I still can’t believe my own mother would do something like that, Lexi.”
She reached out to him, touching his forearm. “I’m sorry, sweetie. Obviously, I don’t know any of the details, but I’m sure there were circumstances...”
He held his hand up to halt her words. “Don’t make excuses for her. There are no excuses for what she did to our family.”
Lexi sighed, unsure how to proceed. She knew he needed someone to talk to about this, but she also knew this was a private family matter that didn’t concern her. “Have you talked to your brother about this?”
“Yeah, he’s at home packing our stuff right now. We need to get the hell outta there. We can’t stay under the same roof with that...”
“Jay, just remember she’s your mother, honey. I know she’s been a good mother to you and Mike; your dad has told me that a hundred times. People make mistakes. She’s only human.”
He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. “I just can’t believe she would do that, ya know? My dad loved her, he was good to her.”
“I know, sweetie. There are only three people who know what happened and, unfortunately, I’m not one of them. I wish I could be of more help to you.”
He opened one eye and looked at her. “You are helping, but I didn’t come here to dump all of this on you. I came here to talk to you about you and my dad.”
She swallowed, dreading what came next. “There’s nothing between your father and me.”
He looked at her. “Would you like there to be? I mean, do you love him?”
She shifted nervously in her seat. How was she supposed to answer that question? He was already raw from the news he’d learned earlier; she didn’t want to compound the problem. “He’s a good man.”
Jay rolled his eyes. “Cut the crap and just give it to me straight, Lexi. Are you in love with my old man or not?”
She sat up taller and looked Josh’s son in the eye. If he was going to act like a man, she would treat him like one. “Yes, I’m in love with him.”
He threw his hands up in the air. “Finally, we’re getting somewhere.”
She frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“I had a long talk with my dad about you a while back. He said he’s in love with you, but you weren’t in it for the long haul. Is that true?”
“It was.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “What does that mean? You’ve changed your mind?”
“Jay, I don’t feel comfortable talking to you about my relationship with Josh when I haven’t even talked to him about it yet.”
He shook his head. “I get that, I do. But I don’t want to see him get hurt again. If that’s what you plan to do, I’m here to ask you to back off.”
She respected the courage it took for him to come here and state his opinion. She knew he meant no disrespect; he was just looking out for a father who had been doing the same for them their entire lives. “I love Josh; I don’t want to hurt him.”
“But you don’t want to marry him?”
“He hasn’t asked me to marry him.”
He grinned. “But if he did, would you say yes?”
She threw her head back and looked at the ceiling. “You are nothing if not persistent. I wonder where you get that from, young man.”
He laughed. “Dad says that quality will make me a great cop someday.”
She smiled at him. “I’m sure he’s right.” She leaned forward and laced her hands in front of her. “I’ve done a lot of soul searching lately, and I’ve realized that I don’t want to live the rest of my life without your father in it, but in terms of getting married and having a family, I’m still nervous about making that kind of commitment to anyone, even him.”
“I get that, and you shouldn’t do anything unless you’re a hundred percent sure, Lex. Just know that if you ever decide to take that step, my dad’s the guy you want to do it with. He’s all in; he’d never let you down.” He smiled at her. “He’s never let us down, not once.”
“That’s good to know.”
“And if we had to pick a step-mother, you’d be it.”
She blinked back the tears welling up in her eyes as she stood up. She opened her arms to Josh’s son. “Thanks, honey. You don’t know how much that means to me.”
As a parent, Josh thought he had dealt with his fair share of trials, but nothing could have prepared him for the challenge of trying to reason with two hostile teenagers who swore they were leaving home because they couldn’t stand to live under the same roof with the woman who had single-handedly destroyed their family.
Josh had no idea Jay had been privy to his conversation with Ashley. Had he known, he would have been more discreet. The last thing he wanted was for his kids to hate their mother.
“Guys, I understand where you’re coming from, but this happened a long time ago and you must know how much your mother loves you. She would never do anything to hurt you.”
Mike sneered. “How the hell can you defend her, Dad? She cheated on you with your best friend.”
Josh released a gusty breath. They were going around in circles and getting nowhere. He would let them spend the night tonight and try to reason with them in the morning. Ashley had already called, frantic with worry when she came home to find they had packed their bags and left without an explanation. He explained the situation and told her he would handle it and have them home by morning. He only hoped this situation could be resolved without causing his kids any more pain.
“When I think about all the times that guy showed up at our house with cool toys or football tickets when we were kids… It makes me sick,” Jay said, cracking his knuckles.
Josh knew Derek better than almost anyone. He was one of the good guys and, despite the fact that he and Ashley had used poor judgement; he had to share the blame. Had he put himself in Derek’s place back then, imagined how he might have felt had one of his friends started dating his ex-girlfriend, he may have been able to save them all a lot of grief.
“This situation is complicated; suffice it to say your mom and Derek are not the only ones at fault.”
Mike glared at him. “What are you talking about? Are you saying you were messin’ around, too?”
“No, I just meant that what happened between her and Derek happened for a reason.” The last thing he wanted was to discuss the intimate details of his marriage with two teenagers, but they were leaving him no choice. “Derek and your mom dated back in college, before she and I got together.”
Jay and Mike looked at each other. “Seriously?” Mike asked. “How come no one ever mentioned it to us?”
“I didn’t think it was necessary. I thought it was in the past.” He sighed, feeling exhausted.
It was getting late and he had a feeling he may be awake all night rehashing a time in his life he would rather forget. He had more pressing problems, like figuring out where he stood with Lexi. But his kids needed him and they had to be his first priority.
“How come they broke up?” Jay asked quietly.
“Derek loved to party back in college. He was playing hard, drinking hard, not taking anything too seriously, including your mom. She didn’t take too kindly to that, so she ended it. I didn’t realize it then, but apparently Derek never got over her.”
“Sounds like she never got over him, either,” Jay muttered.
“I guess you’re right. Listen, Derek wasn’t the only reason our marriage ended, guys. I was working crazy hours and we had already started drifting apart. I guess that’s why she turned to Derek.”
“Yeah, and he was all too happy to be there for her, right?” Mike asked.
“I know you guys are mad at Derek and your mom right now, but try to understand things from their perspective. Things in life are never as black and white as they seem.”
Jay snorted. “Yeah, especially when your mom’s a...”
Josh held his hand up and glared at his son. They had a right to be angry, but he would not allow them to disrespect their mother. “You’re welcome to ask questions and I’ll try to answer them as best I can, but you will show your mother the respect she deserves or you’ll have to deal with me. Is that understood?”
They both nodded their heads and looked at the ground.
Finally, Jay said, “I was surprised you were still home when we got here. I thought you’d be over at Lexi’s place by now.”
“What are you talking about? Why would I be with Lexi?”
Jay laughed and threw his head back, looking at the ceiling. “You really are clueless sometimes, Dad.”
“Care to explain?” Josh asked, feeling a knot of anxiety forming in the pit of his stomach. Did his kids know something he didn’t? Was Lexi planning to leave town?
Jay looked his dad in the eye. “I had a long talk with Lexi today.”
“About what?”
“You.”
Josh felt the knot growing tighter. “Go on.”
Jay shrugged. “I wanted to know how she felt about you.”
Josh closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe his sixteen year-old son had put her on the spot about their relationship. Knowing Lexi, she may decide to cut her losses and run before he had a chance to talk to her. “What did she say?”
“That she’s in love with you.”
Josh’s mouth fell open. “She told you that?”
Jay and Mike started laughing. “Yeah, she probably would have told you too if you’d thought to ask. Man, if I hadn’t stepped in, you might have let an amazing girl like Lexi get away, Dad.”
He checked his watch. It was getting late, but this couldn’t wait. He had to see her now. “Will you guys be okay if I head out for a bit?”
They both laughed. “What the hell’s taking you so long?” Jay asked. “Get outta here already.”
By the time Josh arrived at Trey’s guesthouse, Lexi was running toward her sister’s car at full speed. He barely pulled to a stop before he set his vehicle in park and jumped out.
