Fearless (17 page)

She stared at him, trying to decide whether she should accept his apology or spit in his face.

“Once I began to realize the score, I tried to talk you out of testifying against Chris because I was worried about you. I know my family; they won’t stop until they get what they want.”

“And you let them use you as a pawn in their twisted little game?”

He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn’t know you; we’d never even met. I was off at school when the two of you were engaged, so the only stories I heard about you were from Chris. I thought my cousin was being railroaded, Lexi. He said you were a gold-digger. How was I to know that wasn’t true?”

As much as she hated to admit it, she could understand how he could have been conned into believing his cousin’s version of the story. Chris was a master manipulator. Had he not been, she never would have agreed to marry him. “What about his wife? What kind of lies did he tell you about her?”

“He said Megan was having an affair. He said he’d found out about it and they fought. He claimed that she came at him with a knife and he was merely trying to defend himself.”

She grunted, appalled by Chris’s never-ending excuses for his abhorrent behaviour. “Is that why he bashed her head in, because he feared for his own safety?”

“I know it sounds crazy now, but it didn’t when he told the story.”

She sighed. “I can see how you got drawn into this mess, Mark. I won’t hold it against you.”

He grinned. “Seriously? Does that mean I’m forgiven?”

She could hold a grudge against him for his lies and deceit, but she just wanted to put this mess behind her so she could move on. “Your family has made some pretty serious threats against me. How do I know you’re not trying to get close to me so you can finish the job Chris started?”

He winced. “Ouch, that hurts.”

She almost felt guilty for making the accusation, almost.

“I swear to you, I’ve never laid a hand on a woman in my life. That goes against everything I believe in, Lexi.”

“Your family must be angry with you for turning your back on Chris.”

He grunted. “I don’t give a shit what they think. If he could do those things and they were willing to help him cover it up, I’m done with them, all of them.”

She considered his words. Either he was being sincere or he was a good actor. “I can’t believe you were totally in the dark about your own family, Mark.”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his tailored pants. “Look, I’m not going to deny the fact that my father and my uncle can be ruthless when it comes to business, but they’re not criminals, Lexi. At least, I don’t want to believe they are.”

“Now you’re not so sure?”

He looked back toward the courthouse. “I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to believe they would have hurt you, but I can’t be sure. I can’t be sure of anything anymore.”

Had it been anyone else, she would have reached out to comfort him, but this was a man who had lied to her, betrayed her. She couldn’t bring herself to forget that. “What are you going to do now?”  

“I don’t know. I do know I’m gonna get the hell out of here. I can’t sit in that courtroom and pretend to support someone who would do the things my cousin did. Especially not to someone I care about.” He reached up to stroke her face, but someone grabbed his arm from behind and twisted it behind his back.

Josh. She hadn’t even seen or heard him approaching. She had been so caught up in her own thoughts, trying to decide whether Mark was a decent guy who had been led astray by his manipulative family or a vengeful swine like his cousin.

“You lay one finger on her, and I’ll break your arm. Is that clear?” Josh whispered in his ear.

Mark swallowed and closed his eyes. “Yes.”

Josh heaved on his arm once more. “Good. You need to get the hell out of here now.”

Mark nodded his head.

“If I ever see you within twenty feet of Lexi again, I’ll not only break your arm, I’ll put you in traction. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Good.” Josh shoved him forward, causing him to stumble on the pavement. “Now get out of my sight.”  

Mark sprinted away without a backward glance.

Josh watched him run away, waiting until he was at a safe distance before turning toward Lexi. “What the hell did he want?”

She stepped forward, needing to feel his arms around her. “Can we talk about it later? I just need you to hold me right now.”

He smiled and opened his arms. “Done.”   

Josh settled in on the couch, mindlessly scanning the channel guide while Lexi hunkered down with her laptop, surfing the Internet. He knew she was looking for a new house, a new town, a new place to call home. He had spent the last several hours trying to convince her to come back to Nashville, but to no avail. She said she refused to give Chris and his family the power to dictate her actions, decide her future. She was determined to move on with her life, and as much as it ate him up inside to think of her living in a strange town, hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away, he had no choice but to support her decision or risk alienating her further.

She was still convinced he was secretly hoping to reconcile with his ex-wife, and with her living in another city, he would be free to pursue that option. Her belief that he and Ashley had unfinished business was a crock. It was over, had been for years. That wasn’t going to change, whether Lexi was in Nashville or on the other side of the world.

“Nothing interesting on?” she asked, looking up from her computer.

He glanced at the screen: the nature channel. It seemed even the lions were getting more action than he was these days. Being under the same roof with Lexi made it impossible not to think about what had almost happened in her hotel room that night. “Just surfing. How ‘bout you? Did you find your dream home yet?”

She looked around the cozy living room they occupied. “I thought I already had.” She sighed and glanced at her computer screen. “I hate the thought of leaving this old place, but I can’t stand the thought of sharing the same city with Chris’s despicable family, either. No sense walking around with a target on my back, right?” 

He wouldn’t rest knowing she shared the zip code as any member of her ex-fiancé’s family. Not that he wouldn’t worry about her regardless of where she lived, but her living here was way too close for his comfort. “For what it’s worth, I think leaving is the right decision.”

She slammed her laptop closed and set it on the table. “I guess you’re right. I just can’t imagine I’ll find another house I love as much as this one.”

He turned the TV off and turned toward her. “I don’t know about that. There are dozens of great century homes a stone’s throw from my place.”

She smiled. “You are relentless, aren’t you?”

“I can be when I want something.” He shifted closer on the sofa, draping his arm behind her head. “Come back home, baby,” he whispered. “I need to keep an eye on you; at least until I’m sure the threat has passed.”

She closed her eyes and leaned her head against his arm. “I already told you I can’t do that, Josh. It would be too hard.”

His heart drummed against his chest. She had given him a multitude of reasons why she had decided against Nashville, but she had been reluctant to admit to the real reason, her feelings for him. “Why would it be so hard?”

She rolled her head to the side to look at him. “I think you know why.”

“Humor me, Lexi.”

She tucked her feet under her. “I can’t continue to deny the impulse to jump into bed with you.”

He settled a cushion on his lap to conceal the effect of her words. “Why deny it, Lex? You said it yourself; we’re both consenting adults. Why not have a little fun?”

She raked her hands through her hair. “Damn it, you’ve told me countless times why you think that would be a bad idea. Now you’re telling me you think we should just hop into bed together and forget about the consequences?”

Jumping into bed together was the only thing he could think about. He didn’t care about the consequences, morning after regret, or never being able to forget about her once she’d indulged his erotic fantasies. His only thought was of carrying her upstairs, depositing her in the middle of her four poster antique bed, and making love to her until his was the only name on her lips.

“This thing between us isn’t going to go away on its own. Maybe if we get our fill of each other, we can get it out of our systems and move on.”

She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. “You really think it’s possible to get our fill of each other?”  

He watched her flick her tongue over her bottom lip and groaned. “I don’t know, but if I don’t make love to you soon, I’m gonna go out of my mind.”

“What about Ashley?”

He suppressed the urge to roar in frustration. No matter how many times he said it, she refused to believe he was over his ex-wife. “I don’t want to talk about her. I want to talk about us.”

“One night? That’s all you’re asking for?”

He picked up a strand of her hair and twirled it around his finger. “We’re here for the next few days, right?”

“Yeah, in case the defense wants to call me as a witness. The D.A. expects to present closing arguments on Friday, so I’m free to leave town after that.”

He slipped his hand around the back of her neck. “We’ll be going our separate ways in a few days. Why not make the most of the time we have left?”

Her eyes drifted to his lips. “Are you sure you’ll be okay with that?”

“Hell no, but I know the score, Lex. You don’t have to feel guilty about leading me on. I’m walking into this with my eyes wide open.”

She rested her hand on his thigh. “I do want you, more than I’ve ever wanted anyone. I just don’t want this to hurt our friendship.”

He rested his hand on top of hers and squeezed. “It won’t. I promise. Nothing’s going to change the way I feel about you, Lex.”

She grinned and shifted her weight until she was straddling him. “In that case, let’s go upstairs.”

Once she finally gave him the green light, he couldn’t get her up the stairs fast enough. He was tired of over-analyzing this thing between them. Tired of putting off the inevitable because he feared the outcome. He was going to live in the moment, indulge his fantasies, and make enough memories over the next few days to last him a lifetime.

She laughed when he threw her over his shoulder and ran up the stairs. She pounded on his back. “Put me down; you’re going to drop me.”

He smacked her bottom. “No way. Now that I’ve got you where I want you, I’m not lettin’ you go.”

He nudged her bedroom door open with the toe of his boot and carefully set her down on the floor before kicking the door closed. He looked over at her bed and suddenly wished he had taken her right there on the couch. Her bed made him think of all the lovers who had given her pleasure there, and he feared he would just be another faceless lover relegated to the confines of her memory when this was over.

“If you’re worried about condoms, don’t.” She grinned. “You’ll find a box in the table by the bed, along with a few other toys that might pique your interest.”

A few minutes ago, he had been harder than a steel post, but the reminder of all the lovers who had come before him doused his arousal faster than a blast of cold water. “Damn it, that was too much information.” He sank down on the bench at the end of the bed, trying to silence the taunting voice in his head that told him he wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last man to give her pleasure. He wanted to be the last, the best, the only one for the rest of her life.

She dropped down on her knees in front of him. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did I say something to upset you?”

“I don’t want to think about all of the other men you’ve been with in this bed, Lex.” He knew his jealousy could end this encounter before it even got started, but if he didn’t come clean with her, he would never be able to get past his hang-ups and give her the satisfaction she deserved.

She threw her head back and laughed. “That’s what’s got you all bent out of shape? You think there’s been a parade of men in and out of my bedroom over the past few years, Josh?”

He scowled. He didn’t find the thought even remotely amusing. “I didn’t say that. But you’re a gorgeous, sexy woman, Lex. I know you’ve dated a lot...”

“True, I’ve dated because I was looking for a man who would measure up to you.”

“Me?”

She slid her hands up his thighs. “Yes, you. I’ve dated countless men over the past few years. I’m not saying I haven’t indulged in a quickie or two to take the edge off...”

He held his hand up. “Stop, I don’t want to hear about it.”

She grinned. “My point is, none of them could measure up, so I just gave up on trying to find the guy who could make me forget about wanting you.”

That was all he needed to hear, that he had been invading her fantasies the same way she had been plaguing his. He crooked his finger. “Come here.”

She got up slowly, standing upright until her breasts were level with his face. She tugged his head back. “Why don’t you help me get out of these clothes?”

He chuckled. “I thought you’d never ask, baby.” His fingers flew over the buttons on her conservative cotton blouse. Even wearing a demure black suit, perfectly suitable for a courtroom, she’d still managed to turn him inside out with wanting her.

She rolled her shoulders, coaxing the blouse to the floor and treating him to a sight that made his mouth water. Her creamy, smooth breasts were encased into a layer of turquoise satin and lace with a tiny, clear rhinestone peeking out from between her cleavage. She reached around and unfastened the bra, slowly slipping one strap down her shoulder, then the other.

“Stand back,” he whispered. “I want to watch you take it all off, nice and slow.”

She started to kick out of her heels when he stopped her. “Leave those on. You wearin’ garters under that sexy skirt?”

She traced her lips with her tongue. “I guess you’re just gonna have to wait to find out, aren’t you?”

He groaned. “Don’t make me wait too long, baby. I think I could explode just watching you strip for me.”