Fearless (14 page)

Chapter
Nineteen

Alaina answered the door. “Dalilah, what a nice surprise!” she said, as she stepped aside for me to go into her place. “Twice in one week. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Wow, you’re in a great mood,” I observed. She did look happier than usual. “Are you busy?”

“Later, yeah. I mean, I should be studying, but you know how that is. Oh, wait, you don’t. You never had to crack a book in your life.” She was smiling as she said this, so I assumed that she wasn’t meaning to get in her usual digs about my brilliance and how it was so unfair that I never had to study.

“I hope that I’m not keeping you,” I said tentatively.

She smiled broadly. “You’re not. But if you are wondering why I am looking so happy and fulfilled, I’ll let you in on it. I’m dating your sloppy seconds, Seth, and boy, you’re an idiot for giving him up. That boy puts me on another planet in bed.”

I shrugged, feeling no jealousy about Alaina dating Seth. I was happy for her, though. “Cool,” I said. “Well, enjoy. He’s hot and has a huge package, and he does tend to be insatiable. So you’ll no doubt enjoy the ride, no pun intended.”

“Oh, I am enjoying the ride. I am. Six times last night I enjoyed the ride.” She shook her head. “Man, Dalilah, I have no idea what you were thinking when you blew him off. But, at the same time, it really sucks, because he’s still so in love with you that you’re all he talks about. When he’s not fucking me, that is. Of course, I’m waiting for him to start calling me Dalilah in bed, and then I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I really hope it doesn’t come down to him wanting me to put on a red wig and role play being you. But, it might. Anyhow, what’s up?”

I took a deep breath. “Well, you remember Nottingham? BDSM man?”

“Yeah,” she said. “You aren’t going to see him anymore, right? Right?”

I was silent for a few minutes
, and Alaina got the drift.

“Oh, fuck, no, Dalilah. You can’t be with a weirdo like that who gets off on beating you. He really needs to be with a submissive masochist who enjoys that stuff. I would like to think that isn’t you.”

“It’s not,” I assured her. “It’s not. Well, I need to come clean with the whole sorry story about why I’m going to go out with Nottingham. I need your advice.”

So, I told her everything. About how I had fallen in love with Luke, and how Luke had no confidence and didn’t feel that he could be with me because he couldn’t provide for me. And how Luke felt that I was out of his league. How I thought that Nottingham could help Luke, and how I hoped that it would all lead to Luke and I being together.

Alaina digested it as I spoke to her. Finally, after I told her the whole story she nodded her head. “Well, let me get this out of the way. I’m shocked that you fell in love. Shocked. I didn’t think that it was possible. Good god, every hot guy in school was in love with you and you just didn’t want any of them. Now, here is this dirt-poor boy and he’s the one you want. It figures.”

“Why does it figure?”

“Well, you can’t have him. So, naturally you want him.”

“Now, come on. That’s not why I fell in love with Luke. I just, well, he brings out the best in me. My best self. Emotions that I never thought that I could feel. He makes me want to be a better person. He has opened my eyes. I can’t possibly give him up now.”

“Well, then, you shouldn’t have to. But I know what you’re saying about him not wanting to be with you because he’s poor. Men are like that, just by their very nature. It’s evolution. They’re supposed to be able to provide for us and take care of us, and, since he can’t do that, I think that you’re right that he won’t want to be with you.”

“I know that I’m right about that. So, what do you think about my Nottingham plan?”

She put her chin on her palm and stared at her coffee table. Finally she said “I don’t know, Dalilah. It’s risky. How, exactly, are you going to manipulate him without sleeping with him again? And you can’t just see him and say ‘hey, I don’t want to be with you. But I really want you to help out this Luke fella.’ That won’t go over at all.”

“I know that,” I said, feeling impatient. “That’s why I’m down here talking to you. I mean, you have a devious mind, much more than me. How am I going to work this? Nottingham is no dummy, of course.”

“Well, Dalilah, you’re going to have to start fucking him again. On a regular basis. And, when you guys have been fucking for awhile, then you can start talking to him about Luke.”

“Thanks, Alaina,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You’ve been an enormous help.”

“What, do you want me to lie to you? Nottingham isn’t stupid, and I doubt that he can be manipulated to give you what you want without you first giving him what he wants. So, don’t even think about it.”

I started to despair. If Alaina, the queen of manipulation and games
, couldn’t think of a good strategy, then who could?

“Okay, then, I guess I’ll just have to try what I can, and, if it goes south, I need to just drop it with him.” As much as I didn’t want to do that. Luke needed Nottingham’s largesse. I knew that.

I could feel my relationship with Luke start to slip through my fingers.

Finally, Alaina sighed. “This Luke means this much to you, huh?”

“You have no idea.”

“Well, then, try this. You obviously don’t want to sleep with Nottingham. I don’t blame you there. The man seems dangerous, and, besides, if you’re in love with this Luke boy then, of course,
you don’t want to sleep with somebody else. You can, however, date Nottingham without sleeping with him.”

“I can? How do I do that?”

“You say that you have the herp. And, if he gets angry with you because you slept with him before, just tell him that you didn’t know that you had it then. Tell him that you’re really contagious right now because you’re in the middle of an outbreak.”

I stifled a feeling of laughter that was threatening to break out. The plan seemed too simple. And, of course, there was always the threat that Nottingham might just decide to drop me altogether once I tell him that I have herpes. Which would probably mean that he wouldn’t exactly want to help Luke on my behalf.

I shook my head. “That’s sounds good, but no. I would imagine that Nottingham would probably want nothing to do with me after that, which would mean that he wouldn’t want to help Luke if I ask him. I don’t know, he seems kind of germaphobic as it is. He probably wouldn’t want to touch me with a ten foot pole.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Well, Plan B is that you tell him that you have turned over a new leaf and you don’t want to fuck until marriage. You’
ve been revirginated.”

I looked at Alaina, pondering her words.
Now, that just might work out well.
I thought about Nottingham and the things that he had said to me. About me being a lady, and how I should act more proper. Nottingham was so buttoned-up himself that I was surprised that he had sex with anybody, let alone that he was a freak in bed. Telling Nottingham no sex until marriage would actually be something that would work.

I started to get excited, knowing that I might be able to date Nottingham and get him to fall in love with me. And then I could start putting the bug in his ear about Luke’s talent, and how much I would like Luke to get prominent showings. Then, once Luke was established, I could dump Nottingham and marry Luke.

Perfect! What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

I went over to Alaina and hugged her. And she put my head in her hands, and kissed me gently on the lips. I pulled away, not wanting that to go any further.

“Oh, sorry, Dalilah. Man, sometimes you make me want to be a lipstick lesbian. What is it about you that attracts everyone you meet like bees to honey?”

“I wish I knew,” I said. “Anyhow, Alaina, I have had fun with you in that way. But you know that I’m really straight. I think you are, too, but I know that you want to experiment. And, really, go for it. Just not with me.”

She shrugged again. “Guess I’m really horny. So, you have to go so that I can call my fuck-puppet Shane. I want to climb him like a tree, just like I did last night.”

“K. Well, thanks for the fabo idea. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing. At any rate, good luck. But don’t be surprised if the manipulated becomes the manipulator, and you get in over your head with this one. If that happens, don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”

“Noted,” I said. “Well, I’ll head back to my place. See you soon.”

“Bye.”

And, at that, I left to go and get ready for my date with Nottingham.

Chapter
Twenty

I made my way to the bus to go and meet Nottingham, having borrowed something else from Alaina that would be presentable for this fancy
rich man’s club. I had on a pencil skirt in grey and a silk top in black, a grey cardigan that matched the skirt, with black pumps and pearls. I even wore hose, for the very first time in my life.

And…Nottingham was waiting for me on the sidewalk. He got out of a limo that was parked in front of my apartment as I approached the street. I inwardly groaned and rolled my eyes.
Of course he would be here. Why did you ever think differently?

He opened the door and kissed me on the cheek. “Dalilah, you look stunning,” he said. “Absolutely a vision.”

I smiled as I stepped into his limo. The seats were cool and some soft jazz was playing on the stereo.

Nottingham got into his side and he directed the limo driver to the Union Club. “Get us to the Union Club on 69
th
and Park,” he said. The limo driver nodded his head, and Nottingham turned his attention to me. He put his arm around me and whispered “my god, you are a beautiful woman. I think that you are, by far, the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen in my life.”

At that, he turned my head and planted a firm kiss on my lips. I held my breath, wanting the kiss to end as quickly as possible. I couldn’t stop thinking about Luke. I felt guilty and dirty even to be kissing somebody else.

Nottingham grabbed my thigh and his hand started up towards my panties. I quickly and rapidly pushed it away. He looked at me questioningly, and, for once, he didn’t look cruel or lustful. He just looked bewildered.

“I’m very sorry, Blake,” I said. I had practiced what I would say to him in the apartment, but I didn’t know that I would have to give him my speech quite this soon. I thought that I could say it when we got to the club, where I could have a glass of wine and tell him
in a more leisurely and relaxed fashion. But no, it had to happen there in the limo, while Nottingham was trying to crawl all over me. “There’s something that I need to tell you.”

“Go ahead Dalilah,” he said.

“Well, here’s the thing. I’ve decided that I’ve been a bad girl and I want to clean up my act. I’ve done a lot of thinking, and I’m ashamed of how I have behaved. So, I decided that I need to stop having sex outside of marriage. I hope that this isn’t a problem.”

He smiled. “Not at all,” he said. “I was hoping that you would actually say something like this. You’re a lady. I’m so happy that you are finally realizing that. So, don’t worry. You can wait until we get married. And then I can ravage you like you have never before been ravaged.”

I drew a breath. That was really easy, I thought. He was delusional, of course, thinking that he and I would ever be married. It was strange that he was even thinking along those lines, considered he barely knew me. Also, well, he was extremely desirable, in that he was extraordinarily handsome and wealthy. I really had no idea why he would want to try to get married so soon, especially to a woman who had made it somewhat clear that she didn’t love him. At least, I hoped that it was clear that I wasn’t really interested in him that way.

The limo finally pulled up to the provincial French building on Park Ave. This was an enormous stone structure that apparently was constructed in 1863. Which was obvious as we went through the doors, where there were two marble staircases and a huge insignia on the floor that said “1863” in gold letters against a black backdrop.

All around us were well-heeled men and women who were heading into the main restaurant. I felt uncomfortable, not because I didn’t fit in, of course. Because, my parents being billionaires, I certainly did belong there. But that kind of place was just never my scene. Joey’s dive restaurant in Willets Point – now that was a place where I could feel comfortable. This place, not so much.

Nottingham took my hand as he led me into the main restaurant. This was an enormous dining room with chandeliers and wood-covered walls. It was very opulently appointed, with crystal glasses and candles on every table. The maître d’ sat us, calling Nottingham by name. We sat down, and I looked around me. Everywhere were tycoons and their well-heeled wives. The men all looked very old money, and their wives were elegantly dressed and tended to have helmet hair. I felt a little bit underdressed, even though I knew that I looked good. But my gown wasn’t beaded nor formal, and most of these people were in their charity-ball clothing.

The waiter came around, and Nottingham ordered for both of us, not even bothering to first ask what it was that I wanted. We both were going to get the braised squab with
Chateau Chalon
sauce and
au jus
, served with whipped potatoes and asparagus. While that did sound good – I had squab before, and it was tender and delicious – I was quite put off that he would order for me without even asking me what I wanted.

A bottle of wine came out, a vintage
Le Pin,
which retailed for over $2,500, and was selling there for $5,000. The waiter poured the wine for Nottingham and me, and then left. Nottingham raised his glass to mine, and we clinked the glasses together. “To a wonderful life together,” he said, and took a sip.

I said nothing. This was getting weirder and weirder by the second. It occurred to me that this man might have created an entire relationship between the two of us in his head, long before he even started making his presence to me known on the sidewalk bench that day.

I took a deep breath. “This is a beautiful place,” I said, stating the obvious.

“That it is,” he said. “So, Dalilah, I can’t tell you how happy you have made me to finally decide to give our relationship a chance. I’ve been dreaming about this for years now.”

I took a sip of wine, feeling more than a little bit freaked out. I questioned my sanity in deciding to go out with this guy. What was I thinking? He was a stalker, and I knew this to begin with. I was blinded by my desire to help Luke.

That was when I remembered exactly why I was there with Nottingham. To help Luke. This thought calmed me down.

“Well, Blake, I couldn’t stay away,” I said, trying for my best throaty, sexy voice.

“I’ve thought of nothing but you since the other night. You were so magnificent and so adventurous. I admit, in the limo, I was a bit non-plussed to know that our sexual adventures will have to cease for now. But just wait until we’re married. We definitely will make up for lost time.”

Time to steer the conversation onto more safe territory.
“Yes. Well, Blake, I must say that you have definitely hired a very talented artist to portray me. I think that you’ll be thrilled with the results.” I cocked my head. “By the way, I was wondering if you had looked at Luke’s website yet? He really is an exquisite talent.”

Nottingham nodded. “Yes, of course I have looked at his website. I admit, I hired him on the spot without checking his credentials, just because he had sketched an amazing likeness of you. But I did some research on him later on that evening. The boy is clearly very talented. I’m very glad that he is the artist that I have hired. I think that he’ll do a wonderful job.”

This is going to be quite possibly easier than I thought.
I wondered if Nottingham was as naïve I was thinking. I mean, the man was clearly intelligent, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t have a blind spot. And he seemed not to pick up on the fact that I was touting Luke to him for a reason.

Feeling more confident, I pressed forward.
I put my hand on Nottingham’s arm and stroked it while I looked into his eyes. His blue eyes, which looked hopeful, met my gaze. I started to feel bad, because Nottingham was beginning to show real emotion. He no longer had a cold and cruel look, but was actually looking just a bit…human.

“So, anyhow. I’ve been doing some thinking. Luke has this extraordinary collection of urban alienation landscapes. They’re really quite remarkable. They’re very thematic as well. I thought that they just might be perfect for a showing in one of your galleries.”

Nottingham put his hand to his chin, and looked at me thoughtfully. “You know, I was thinking the same thing.” He shrugged, and then regarded his glass of wine. “I was looking at his website, and I saw that most of his paintings were thematic. I personally favored his panels on musicians and ballerinas, and I thought about talking to some of my partners about featuring them in one of our upcoming shows that center around that very theme.”

My heart started to race. This was going to be easier than I thought! It was! I smiled big. And decided to drop the entire subject. I didn’t want Nottingham to get even a hint of how I was really feeling about Luke, and I thought that, if I kept talking about Luke, I might let on.
And that would, no doubt, put a kibosh on the entire thing.

“Well, that’s a really good thing. I’m glad that you want to give that boy a chance. Anyhow, how are things with you?”

He took a sip of his wine. “Things are really splendid. It’s going to be a very good year for Nottingham Industries. Very profitable. And, of course, I’m very happy that you are here with me.” He paused. “You have no idea what you do to me, Dalilah. I know that I have seemed like a stalker to you, and perhaps I am. I don’t want to think of myself that way, though. But you are just…glorious. I think that’s the word that I want to use to describe you. Glorious. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Uh, oh.
He was really gushing now, and, to my dismay, he actually looked sincere when he was speaking. It wasn’t like the other night, when he had a cruel look on his face and it seemed that he just got off on hurting me. Right at that moment, he looked vulnerable and a little bit lost. I started to feel sorry for him, and feel sorry that I ever went out with him just to manipulate him.

Not that I wanted to be with him. No, that wasn’t it at all. I still had no feelings for his man, and still very much wanted to be with Luke. Luke was all that I could think about. But I never thought that I would start to feel sympathy for Nottingham, which was exactly what was happening right at that moment.

I opened my mouth to say something, when, to my dismay, Nick and Scotty came over to our table. “Dalilah,” Nick said to me. “I thought that was you.”

I was startled, and I jumped just a little bit when I heard Nick’s unmistakable baritone address me. Scotty looked beautiful, as usual. She had just turned 40, I realized with a start, but she hadn’t aged since I had first met her when I was three years old. I hoped to look that good when I was 40 and had three children with Luke.

I smiled as I realized that envisioning children with Luke came as easily to me as breathing. That was when I realized that I truly was in love.

And Nick…well, men just get better with age, and he was no exception. He had just turned 50, and, even though he had a few grey hairs, he was fit and trim and had barely a line on his face. He was like Dorian Grey – ageless and still beautiful. I wondered if he had a portrait of himself somewhere hidden away that was aging as we speak, while he, himself, stayed just as youthful as ever. I had just a slight crush on him when I lived at his house, because he was so handsome, intelligent and virile. Just a school girl crush, which was typical, really.

I smiled, big. “Hi, Nick,” I said. And then I turned to Nottingham, who was regarding Nick warily. When I looked at Nick’s face, I saw the reason for Nottingham’s wary look, for Nick was giving him the stink eye. Unmistakably.

It occurred to me that, even though the two men knew one another, they probably didn’t really like each other. I didn’t know what Nick knew about Nottingham, but I had a feeling that whatever it was that he had heard wasn’t good.

Nick nodded his head. “I heard your dad’s going to be in town soon.” He said those words not just to me, but to Nottingham. As if he were warning him.

“Yes, he is,” I said. “I think that they’re going to be moving into that Montauk house next weekend.”

“Good,” he said. “I think that he needs to keep an eye on you.”

At that, Scotty kind of nudged Nick, and then she smiled at Nottingham as if to reassure him that Nick wasn’t meaning to impugn him. She extended her hand to him. “Blake, I’m so sorry that my husband hasn’t acknowledged you. But it’s so good to see you.”

Nottingham stood up and nodded his head and shook her hand, and kissed it gently. “As always, Mrs. O’Hara.”

Nick nodded to him without bothering to shake his hand or even say his name out loud. “Well, Scotty and I have to go. We were on our way to the Met.” He raised an eyebrow at me, and didn’t acknowledge Nottingham. “I’ll be in touch soon,” he said, and I thought that perhaps his words sounded just a bit ominous.

Scotty came around and bent down and kissed my cheek. “It’s so good to see you, Dalilah.” And Nottingham stood up again and kissed her hand again. “Always a pleasure, Blake,” she said.

“The pleasure is all mine, of course,” Nottingham said.

At that, the two of them headed towards the exit. Nottingham sat down and took a drink of wine.

I tentatively asked. “What was that all about?” referring to the tension between him and Nick.

He shrugged. “I don’t think I know what you are talking about.”

“Nick. You and he seem not to like one another.”

He tried to look genuinely surprised that I would say something like that, but I could tell it was all an act. He clearly knew what I was talking about. “I don’t know what you are talking about. Nick and I go way back.”