February Or Forever (28 page)

‘Thanks,' Chrissie said, and the woman smiled.

The screech of the bus's breaks approached, and the loud puff of air as the bus stopped had Chrissie nervous herself. The doors flapped open and the bus driver stood and hung out the door. ‘Today's V.I.P. passenger is Kai, where's Kai?' He scanned the children's faces. ‘Ah, there you are. Come on up. The back seat is waiting for you.'

Kai's eyes widened, and Chrissie's did too, not expecting this sort of special treatment. What a lovely gesture. Kai looked at the other boy, Jake, then pointed. ‘Can he be a V.I.P. passenger too?'

The driver nodded, holding out his arm to show the way, and Chrissie half expected him to say ‘All aboard!' and blow a whistle.

Kai and Jake stepped onto the bus, only a few other children from the outskirts of Tarrin's Bay already on it. Kai turned briefly and looked at Chrissie. She waved, then he continued down the aisle and…sat on the seat in the back! Relief washed over her. Before he could change his mind, she walked to the back of the bus where her car was, and waved again at Kai, then got into the driver's seat. She sat there until all the children had boarded, and when the engine grew louder, Kai sat up tall in his seat with his gaze directed towards the front. When the bus pulled onto the road and Chrissie followed, he looked back at her, then at Jake who said something to him. He alternated between checking she was still behind him and talking to Jake for the whole trip, and soon they arrived at the primary school. Chrissie parked nearby and jumped out, a smile permanently engraved on her face at his achievement. She hung back, not wanting to make a big deal of it in front of everyone, and waited for the children to filter out.

Jake stepped out, then stopped and waited. The skinny legs of Kai Cavanaugh hopped off the bus, his backpack bouncing behind him, and he took a few steps forward then glanced back, his face lighting up on seeing Chrissie. She smiled widely and was about to wave when his two little thumbs pointed to the heavens in a show of victory. Chrissie's bottom lip quivered and she gave him a thumbs up sign too. It may not have been a big thing for anyone else, but for her, it was the highlight of her week.

She wiped the corners of her eyes as she got in the car and readied her mind for work. It was Friday, the twenty-sixth day of February, and what was supposed to be her last day of teaching Drew. But with all that had happened, she thought it best if someone else took over, and she could write the past few weeks off as a casual fling.

She arrived at work and told Helena of her preference, leaving out the bit about the casual fling, and mentioned how much Damon would be honoured to take her place in Drew's yoga studio today.

‘You sure you can't just do the last day? What's caused your reluctance? He hasn't been making advances and making you uncomfortable, has he?' Her eyes narrowed.

Chrissie decided to answer only one of her questions. ‘I read something in the paper and online about him, and it's made me feel a bit uncomfortable, that's all.'

‘You mean the media scandal about his ex-girlfriend?'

‘You knew about it, before now?'

‘I knew before he even got here.' Helena tided some papers on her desk.

‘Why didn't you mention it when you asked me to take on the role?'

‘Because it's our job to be professional and discreet. Our V.I.P. guests are the lifeline of this retreat, they add a large sum of profit to the yearly takings.' She pushed her glasses high on the bridge of her nose. ‘You don't believe the hype, do you?'

‘About him hitting his girlfriend? I don't know what to believe. She seemed so genuine. Anyway, it's just unnerved me. I'm sorry to be a hassle.'

‘Give me a minute,' she sighed. ‘I'll call him and tell him Damon will take over.'

Chrissie glanced towards Helena's window where the V.I.P. garden could be seen through the slats in the blinds. He wasn't out there. She remembered the first day she'd seen him, sitting on the swing seat with his guitar, every bit the Aussie superstar. But now, how things had changed.

Helena told Drew that Chrissie wouldn't be available today, then paused. ‘Are you sure?' she asked him. ‘Damon would be more than happy to teach you today.' Another pause. ‘Well alright then. Please let me know if there's anything else we can do for you today.' She hung up and glanced at Chrissie. ‘He only wants a yoga class if you're the one teaching it.'

Crap.

‘He said if you're unavailable he'll just skip the class.'

Guilt trip time. Chrissie bet he'd text her any minute, asking why. She should at least let him know, but didn't know quite how to put it, and knew that if she saw him again, she might change her mind and want to forget the media scandal ever happened, and beg him to leave his awesome life behind and stay with her. But that would be stupid. It was easier to leave things now, before they got out of control. She'd always remember the fun they had, but it would have to remain a memory. She was only just keeping it together now, if she rocked the boat, she may fall apart, and couldn't risk it.

‘Well, I better get ready for my morning class. Again, I'm sorry about all this.'

‘You sure he didn't make any advances to you?' Helena stepped towards her. ‘Has anything happened I should know about?'

Chrissie's heart skipped a beat.
More than you should know
. ‘Nothing. He's been a great student.' She smiled and walked out, leaving Helena not looking too convinced.

When her afternoon class had finished, Chrissie sat by herself in the staff lounge, staring at the message on her phone.

What's going on Chrissie? Today was supposed to be our last yoga class. Please talk to me. D.

He'd sent the text earlier, but she hadn't replied. She leaned back into the comfortable sofa, her elbow resting on the armrest. Then she checked her watch. Not long till she had to pick up Kai from school, as catching the bus to school was one thing, catching it home was another. She pressed her finger to the screen and typed:
I heard about your ex-girlfriend. It's all a bit much, I needed some time apart.

He replied:
You don't believe her do you? Chrissie, you know me! I'd never do that.

Just what she'd expected him to say.

Either way, it was a mistake to get carried away, my boss is suspicious, and I just don't need this kind of drama in my life.

There was longer a pause before his reply:
I don't need this drama either, but that's life. Chrissie, I can't leave without saying goodbye. Can we meet later?

She'd said one too many goodbyes in her life and wasn't about to put herself through another one. She typed in her response:
I don't think that's a good idea.

She switched her phone to silent and opened her web browser; it was still open at one of the interviews with Jolene. She scanned it again, as if to cement her resolve, then something made her type a new search into Google.

The short life of Stephanie Shaw.

It was the title of an article she'd written years ago for the newspaper she'd worked for. Stephanie was a nine-year-old girl, a talented young actress, whose tragic drowning had broken the hearts of many. Chrissie's boss had sent her to report at the scene where she was last seen, despite asking him if someone else could do it. She didn't want to upset her boss, so she'd done it. She thought she'd just be talking to police and witnesses to find out what happened, but hadn't expected Search and Rescue to find the girl's body while she was there. She'd never seen Danielle's body, hadn't wanted to, but had seen Stephanie's, and knowing that the same fate claimed her sister had haunted her from that moment on. After Stephanie's funeral, Chrissie had been assigned to interview the family and write about the young star's short life as a sort of tribute, and she'd done it, but not without consequences. The nightmares started soon after, then the headaches, then the panic attacks. Two months later she quit her job, commenced yoga on the advice of her therapist, and went on unemployment benefits. Victor had come along at just the right time, when she needed someone, and they'd married quickly after a short period of dating.

Chrissie read her article, and flashes of Stephanie's bloated face flashed through her mind. Then it was Danielle's face, quick, sharp flashes, searing through her skull. She sucked in a breath, her heart pounding, and the phone slipped from her grasp. She shot up, panting, and dashed over to the sink, leaning over it to try catching her breath. Sweat clung to her chest and that familiar fear rose up like a surge of lava ready to explode from a volcano.

‘No, no more, please!' she said to herself, her hand on her heart.
Techniques, Chrissie, do the techniques.

She breathed in and raised her palm upwards, drawing in oxygen, then pushed out a slow breath as she pushed her hand downwards. She repeated the movements, forcing herself to be calm. If anyone at work saw her like this she'd feel like a total fraud and they might deem her unfit for her teaching duties. She had to get it together. She'd done so before, she could do it again, and never, ever would she look at that article again.

The heat died down, her breath slowing, and her mind stabilising. This was crazy. She couldn't keep going on like this. The attacks weren't occurring that often, but there was obviously some residual fear and grief simmering away inside.

First thing Monday morning, after Drew would be leaving, she'd call a therapist and book an appointment. It was time to take back control and leave the past where it belonged.

The first thing Kai said to his father that night when Chrissie dropped him off for the weekend was, ‘I caught the bus today!'

Victor's reply? ‘Oh, I thought you already had before.'

Did he not pay any attention to her emails? Anyway, she'd told Kai after school how proud she was of him, and that she loved him very much. Then she'd asked him to show her one of his scary faces and they'd collapsed in laughter at trying to outdo each other's faces. It was moments like that that made all the hard times bearable.

Chrissie got back in her car after kissing him goodbye, and rummaged in her bag for her phone to check for any messages. It hadn't beeped all afternoon. She removed her purse and water bottle, but the phone wasn't there. Panic almost set in; it was a strange and uncomfortable feeling to be without one's phone in this day and age. She frowned, leaned her head on the headrest and thought back to the day that had been and gone behind the clouds and darkening sky.
The staff lounge!
She hadn't put it back in her bag after her ‘episode', dashing out to go and pick up Kai from school.

Chrissie started the car with a view to picking it up on the way home. The night staff would be there, though there wouldn't be many at this time.

Just over ninety minutes later she pulled into the staff parking area of Serendipity and quietly slipped in through the private entrance. The hall was dimly lit, and conflicting emotions swirled inside; comfort at the beautiful atmosphere that resided in the retreat, and caution knowing that Drew was probably not far away. She ducked into the staff lounge and looked on the sofa, but it wasn't there. Maybe someone found it and kept it for her. She moved the cushions and the shiny plastic of her phone cover caught her eye, stuck in the crevice between the edges of the armrest and the seat cushion.
Phew.
She picked it up and checked it as she walked out of the room. No messages.

As Chrissie walked past Helena's office, movement caught her eye. She backtracked and peered through the glass windows of the dark office, towards the window that had a partial view of the V.I.P. garden. Movement again. She narrowed her eyes and looked closer. Two figures were in the distance. Who was out there with Drew? As her eyes tried hard to focus she got a better picture. One of the figures was outside the fence of Serendipity, in a dense area of shrubbery that wasn't really made for pedestrian access and ensured privacy for the V.I.P. guests.

What was going on? Curiosity prickled the back of her neck, and when Drew flung his arms about she sucked in a sharp breath. He was arguing with someone. Maybe she should check if everything was okay, since she was a staff member and he was their guest. It was partly her responsibility to make sure guests were taken care of. Or maybe the ex-journalist inside her just wanted to find out what was going on.

She grabbed her key card, checked no one was looking, and walked down the corridor to the V.I.P. entrance. She unlocked the door and edged along the hallway, towards the dining room doors that were open. The closer she got, the louder the music got. She peeked through the doors. An iPod was docked on the side table, playing music she didn't recognise. The good thing was it would help hide the sound of her footsteps, because, yes, she was walking through those doors and had left all rational thought behind.

Her feet stepped lightly into the room. The doors leading out to the patio and garden were wide open, and a cool breeze rushed in. Darkness filled the room, apart from a lamp in the corner and a tea light candle in a holder on the dining table, where a collection of papers lay along with a pen, a notebook, and Drew's phone. As if sensing her presence, his phone gave off a low volume jingle and the screen lit up. Instinctively she glanced at it, freezing on the spot and wondering if Drew had heard it. Probably not, he was too far outside and the music overtook it.

Chrissie's mouth gaped on looking at the screen, not at the message, a simple reminder saying, ‘
Remember to email Steven'
, but at the screensaver picture. The sunset he'd had on it was no longer there. In its place was a picture of her. The picture he'd taken that day they had lunch in this very room, when the butterfly had landed on her hand. Chrissie didn't know whether to be flattered or creeped out, but some kind of jolt ran down her spine.