Feel (21 page)

“You were beyond amazing, pretty girl,” I breathe into her hair, gently rubbing my hand against the slick, warm skin of her back. 

Her heart is still pounding, but her breathing is calming a little as she lies against my chest.

Her fingers lazily trace my tattoos, and I grin cockily.  “I have one more question for you.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” she asks in a sleepy, completely satisfied voice that I hope to hell I hear again and again.  She folds her arms, pressing her chin against them and looks up at me as she continues to lay on top of my chest.

“Do you still think that my dick is highly overrated?”

Her beautiful laughter echoes throughout the field and I swear she has every piece of me under her spell.  “No.  Not at all.  Actually, what I think is that it’s the best damn thing I ever felt, except for this,” she smiles, tears shimmering in her eyes as she places her hand over my heart.  “This.  Nothing can beat this.”  Her tears drip onto my chest and, damn, if I don’t have to push back my own. 

“No, pretty girl.  I’m pretty sure this does,” I state truthfully, pressing my hand against her heart.  “This fuckin’ owns me.”

Saige

Strong arms lift my body, and I smile when Jensen cradles me protectively against his chest.  Today started off completely shitty but ended up being the best night of my life.  I just hope Jensen feels the same, which makes me feel like crap.  How can I even expect the best night of his life to be on the same night he stood in front of the coffins holding his dead family; the last night he will ever be with them since he chose no funeral?

“Are you awake?” he whispers, quickly carrying me across the gravel drive, going towards the front door this time with the air being much colder than when we left.

“Ummhmm,” I mumble against his chest, inhaling the masculine scent of him, “but I like being in your arms.”

His laugh rumbles through his chest and I feel the vibrations against my cheek.  Kicking the door closed behind him, he adjusts his t-shirt that has crept up my stomach as he balances my weight in his arms.  Andy’s laughter ringing through the living room and the amusement from the whole gang clues me into why he wants to make sure I’m covered. 

“And where did the two of you sneak off to in the middle of the night?” Andy asks, raising his brow at us as Jensen carries me through the room to the hall.

“Nowhere I’m telling you,” Jensen cracks light-heartedly.

“Fine, be that way, but it’s usually a good idea to make sure you rake all the leaves off your pants and the blanket before coming back if you didn’t want us to know what you’ve been doing,” Andy replies as laughter breaks through the room, and I bury my face into Jensen’s shirt, knowing that everyone else knows we just made love. 

All embarrassment ends when Jensen lays me down on the couch in our room as he starts to make the bed with fresh sheets and blankets from the closet.  I take a corner of the sheet and help him fix the bed, biting back my smile of why the other sheets are dirty.

“Something funny?”

“Funny?  No.  Amazing?  Absolutely,” I wink at him as he quickly flips the edge of the blanket, the rest of it going up in the air before landing across the mattress. 

“Amazing, huh?”  Jensen quirks his lip and shrugs, “And, just think, I have no paranormal abilities in me.  Just raw, natural talent, baby.”

His green eyes dance mischievously and I burst into laughter, throwing a pillow at him.  “Don’t make me take back what I said about your dick.”

“It’s already out there, can’t take it back now,” he teases, grabbing me up in his arms again and tossing me on the bed.  He kneels over me as his eyes turn serious, “You can’t take any of tonight back now.”

“Would never happen,” I whisper. 

His fingers take my wrists, pinning them above my head as his lips lower to where they are so close to touching mine, I can feel their warmth, “Good.  Because I’m already loving the idea of being able to introduce you as Mrs. Rider.”

Not able to take it any longer, I lift my head, taking his lips with my mouth.  We get tangled in each other’s arms as we spend the next half hour making out until I lay across Jensen, leaning over the edge of the bed. 

He pops me on my butt, laughing, “What are you doing?”

I playfully smack his hand before pulling the violin on top of the bed.  “Playing for you.”

The corners of his lips curl and he slides into a sitting position against the headboard as I close my eyes, taking a deep breath.  The anxiety ripping through me right now is baffling; I’ve played the violin for years.  The reason I stopped playing no longer exists.  Taking a few seconds to tighten the bow and tune the strings, I run my fingers against the smooth finish of the wood.  Placing the violin against my collarbone, I smile at how naturally it still feels against my jaw, like it’s a part of me.  My hand shakes a little before I relax it, placing the bow gently against the strings.

Slowly lifting my eyes towards Jensen, I see him watching me with nothing but love and admiration, giving me strength.  My hand begins to move, soft and tentatively at first, the sweet sounds igniting me and calming me at once.  My body begins to sway as I play what I composed for Jensen, the melody delicate, then building higher.  Passion for him, for what we are creating, spills through my soul, bleeding into the chords. 

Pushing to my knees, I’m kneeling on the bed as I move with the music, my fingers dancing on the strings, my hand rapidly sliding back and forth, and my elbow rising and falling.  Everything feels right as Jensen leans towards me, pride and joy blazing bright green.  He makes me feel everything good.  He makes me feel life, sensing the rhythm of my blood flowing through my veins, pumping inside my heart.  Losing myself in what he makes me feel, I give it back to him the only way I know how.  With all of me. 

His smile, eyes, touch, and his scent consume me.  Closing my eyes, I allow his feeling to wash over me as I continue to play, my body under the control of the music.  Of him.  Meshing with the strings, my fingers glide with the fast, elated harmony.  With the beat he brings to life inside of me.  My body rocks as the music fills the room, and I move where it takes me.  Closer to him.  Memories of his touch invade me, and I slow the tempo, feeling the smile spread across my lips at how what I composed years ago was for something I hadn’t even felt yet…for what I felt tonight.  Our passion fuels my fingers, spewing into the music as my body thrusts with the blissful movements of my arm gliding across the strings, completing the final piece in a way I couldn’t before experiencing what we did tonight. 

My fingers pause.  Breaths heave from my chest.  My lashes flutter, opening my eyes to eight people staring back at me.  But only one matters right now. 

Jensen’s eyes shine with what looks like unshed tears as he kneels in front of me.  His strong, sure hands hold my face as he presses his forehead to mine.  “Thank you,” he whispers, and I hear the raw quake in his voice.  “Thank you for bringing my soul back to life.”

I fall into his arms as I hear Andy let out a low whistle.  “Holy shit, Saige,” he breathes. 

Darrin’s laughter booms through the room and everyone follows.

Jensen claims my mouth passionately before pulling away due to the crowded room.  “That’s my girl,” he declares proudly, and my cheeks flame. 

“Did you write that?” Josie asks, staring at me in awe, which makes me uncomfortable as hell.

All I can do is nod.

“What’s it called?” she presses further.

Jensen’s hand cups my face and that familiar peaceful calm soothes me.  My eyes never leave his as I answer her question.  “‘Feel’.  I named it ‘Feel’.”

The grin on Jensen’s face gives me my reason for being here.  For being me.  I never felt that reason before him. 

Darrin holds his hand out, silently asking if he can hold my violin, and I place it in his hands as he gives me a wink.  “I know what you believe about your abilities, but the gift you have inside that gave them to you, gave you this gift as well.”  Darrin holds up the violin.  “People who can do what you can do, what they can do,” he states, motioning his hand around the room, “most of them are also very talented with music.”  His eyes darken, and I feel Jensen’s hand tighten around my waist when Darrin’s gaze passes from Jensen to me.  “Your talent with music is exceptional, Saige.  You’re more gifted than you think.”

The calm I was relishing in disappears.  To anyone else, his words would be a compliment, but we all know it means more than that.  It means what I never wanted to hear. 

Hot, moist kisses pepper across my naked back, making my body stir, feeling everything Jensen did to it last night.  The feeling is beyond exquisite. 

“Get in the shower, pretty girl.  We have a long day ahead of us,” Jensen murmurs against my skin and I want to erase those words and just feel his lips.  I’d be the happiest girl alive if all I heard today were the breathtaking sounds he made loving me last night. 

The spray of the water turning on in the bathroom ruins my fantasy of a day filled with nothing but mind blowing sex.  “I’m coming,” I call to him, slipping out of the bed and making my way towards the bathroom, “but not anywhere close to the way I want to be right now.”

“I heard that,” Jensen laughs, grabbing my waist and pulling my back against his chest.  His hand slips between my legs, “Already wet for me again?  Let me see what I can do about that, but it has to be quick.”

The thump, thump, thump pulsing low in my belly begs to be tamed as Jensen pulls me into the shower with him.  Warm water streams down our bodies as he gently pushes me against the shower wall.  My palms press against the wet tile as Jensen traces his tongue down the back of my neck, licking the trails of water as he wastes no time taking me this way, his fingers rubbing against my heated pulse as he thrusts wildly inside me until my knees can no longer hold my weight.  His pace intensifies, leaving me gasping for breath as he quickly sends me bursting into the most splendid explosion.

His arm wraps around my waist, holding me up as my head falls back against his chest.  I feel his pulsing throbs inside of me as his grip tightens, holding me possessively against him.  His dominance is compassionate, gentle.  He would never force me to do anything against my will, including staying with him.  That alone makes me want to surrender everything to him.  The beating of my heart pounds in my ears as he grazes his teeth across the line of my neck, “Is that the way you wanted to come?”

He knows damn well that he gave me what I wanted, and then some.  Too spent to speak, I nod my head, turning around so he can hold me in his arms.  “I love you,” I rasp against his chest, slick and warm with the water trickling down the rippling muscles of his abs and waist to what I swear I’ll never have enough of. 

“I love you, too.”  Jensen takes the shampoo, lathering into my hair.  “I’m sorry I couldn’t take my time loving you.”

“It was perfect.  Just like last night.”  I choke back my emotions, “Asking me to always be yours then making love to me for the first time in our field couldn’t have been any more perfect than you made it.  Thank you.”

“You kinda had a part in making it that way,” he teases.  “A big part actually, if I’m remembering it correctly.”

Grabbing the soap, I just smile in response, unable to trust my voice at the moment.  Not wanting to, we rush through the shower and get dressed.  I hastily throw the rest of my clean clothes into my bag embroidered with the alma mater and I try not to think about college, about Wes, Jake, and Riah.  We’re no closer to finding Griffin than we were when we got here five days ago.

Jensen is packing the rest of his clothes when I do a sweep of the room, my eyes stopping on the case to my violin.  Before what Darrin said last night, I never associated the abilities, or talents, whatever in the hell you want to call them.  One destroys me, the other makes me feel free.  How is it possible that they can come from the same place?  Absently, my lip slips between my teeth as I grab the case and wait by the door.  Jensen takes my duffle bag but leaves the case in my hand.  I’m perfectly capable of carrying both but I get the point he’s trying to make.  I’m just not sure I believe it. 

The drive to Hampton, TN passes quicker than I would like.  When we pull into the driveway of the house Griffin calls home, I’m surprised with how well preserved it is.  With the dark, ugly feelings I felt from him, I pictured something that looked more like the Bates motel. 

Stephen nods his okay as Jensen lifts the police tape and we all make our way up the steps of the wrap around front porch.  The house may be immaculately cared for, but the only bright colors are from the vibrant crisp leaves that have fallen from the maple trees.  The light gray of the porch is clean but unremarkable, just like the plain wooden front door.

Jensen turns the knob, but it’s locked.  He nods his chin at James who steps on the plain black welcome mat, placing his hand on the knob.  My jaw nearly comes unhinged when I hear a soft click and Jensen turns the knob again, opening the door.  He looks over his shoulder at me, presumably to make sure I’m still standing, and I give him a slight shrug, like what James just did didn’t scare the shit out of me.  Ignoring Jensen’s smartass raised brow, I follow everyone inside. 

Crinkling my nose, I look around.  Even the interior is dull, decorated in shades of cream and light brown.  Despite the lack of a color palette, I get a shot of freedom.  Glancing around the room, I know that feeling didn’t come from anyone here.  Sawdust seems to fill my throat as I find it hard to swallow.  Spurts of carefree comfort and security sends its warmth tricking through my veins. This cannot be happening.  How am I feeling something from someone who’s not here?