Feel The Fire (Unforgettable Series) (20 page)
Read Feel The Fire (Unforgettable Series) Online
Authors: Adrianne Byrd
Brooklyn remained silent.
Giving up the ghost, Toni drew a deep breath and slumped back onto the sofa. “I’m just saying that marriage isn’t for everyone.”
“But love is,” her friend countered. “Look, Toni. I’m not saying you
need
to be married. You know me better than that. But to deny yourself love...well, that’s another story entirely.”
Toni was still shaking her head while her thoughts skipped down memory lane.
“I know the kind of pain love can bring.”
“Your husbands never beat you.”
“No. But there’s domestic violence in my family—probably in everyone’s family. And I’m not belittling what you went through-witnessing your father...but at least open your heart to the possibility of there being more out there than physical satisfaction.”
That seemed to be happening to her whether she wanted it to or not. Jonas had already reached her heart in a way that no man had ever done before and she was ashamed to say that the whole experience frightened her.
“
Do
you love him?”
Toni choked, sputtered and choked some more.
Brooklyn crossed her arms. “Are you all right?”
“F-fine.” She reached over and refilled her glass.
“Good. I’m still waiting for an answer.”
Suddenly she was hit with a strong sense of déjà vu. Four years ago, Toni was the one interrogating Brooklyn about her feelings for Isaiah. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Immensely.”
Toni shook her head, her emotions still twisted in knots. She had almost given love a try before-of course, what she felt for Brian paled in comparison to how Jonas made her feel. “Life isn’t fair.”
“Who said it was?” Brooklyn again tossed Toni’s words back at her with a smile. “My whole point is: you’re right. Love can be scary and painful-but with the right person, it can be wonderful and exciting—with or without a ring.” She draped an arm around her friend. “I just think it’s time you stop running from it.”
Toni managed a quivering smile; but in truth, she felt her friend was asking an awful lot from her. “I’ll think about it,” she assured her, though she was already sure she’d made up her mind on the issue.
Chapter 25
“It’s not you. It’s me,” Toni said, clutching Jonas’s hand across the white linen tabletop. Jonas’s personal chef, Raul, had prepared a wonderful Mediterranean meal out on the condo’s grand balcony while soft, classical music played through the outdoor speaker.
Jonas pulled his hand back as the candlelight flickered from the night’s cool breeze. “What do you mean?”
Toni plastered on a smile, but she had a devil of a time meeting his eyes. “Look, we had some fun but...neither one of us are ready for anything more serious than that.”
Jonas slowly eased back in his chair, trying to pretend a bomb hadn’t just exploded in his face. “Are you telling me this or are you asking me?” he questioned. He was just moments away from opening his heart and spilling his guts.
“Don’t get me wrong. I had a wonderful time in the Virgin Islands. Certainly, it was one of the most romantic trips I’ve ever been on, but the truth of the matter is...I’m...”
She hesitated.
Jonas’s brows dipped, sensing Toni wasn’t exactly being truthful about her feelings. Was this just her way of trying to protect herself? Hope bloomed in his chest as he reached for her hand again.
She dodged his touch. “We had an agreement, remember?”
His features twisted in confusion. “What?”
“The ability to walk away.”
Damn. He did say that...but that seemed so long ago and it certainly didn’t reflect how he felt now. “Toni, a lot has happened between us since then. Feelings have changed.”
“My feelings haven’t,” she managed to say casually through a firestorm of emotions. “I have too much going on in my life and-”
“Why are you doing this?” he asked. “Do you think things are going too fast? Do you want me to slow it down? We can slow things down.” Slow was better than nothing.
“No. It’s just...” She struggled to remember her rehearsed speech. She’d been giving this speech for over thirty years and suddenly she was having trouble getting the words out.
Maybe she didn’t really want to do this.
“Why don’t you just be honest with me—with yourself?” he pressed. “How can you deny there’s something...
magical
between us?”
“Magical?” She blinked. “C’mon now.” She covered with a smile. “Don’t get all mushy on me.”
“Toni-”
“Look, you’re a great guy and everything and some day you’ll make—”
“Don’t you dare say “I’ll make some lucky woman and wonderful husband,” he hissed, and then slammed his fist down on the table. “Don’t you dare!” Why in the hell was this happening to him again?
Toni jumped and then glanced at Jonas with frightened eyes. At seeing the anger and irritation lining the muscles of his face, anxiety clenched around her heart like a vice.
“I better go.” She slid back her chair; but before she could rise from her seat, Jonas’s hand whipped out and grabbed her wrist.
“No,” he said, and then gentled his voice. “Please. Don’t leave.” He looked around at the table. “We haven’t had dessert yet.”
Frozen in her chair, Toni’s gaze fell to his firm grip.
Jonas followed her eyes. “Sorry.” Reluctantly, he released her. “Please. Stay.”
His plea, along with his warm gaze, made it a real struggle to turn him down. How in the world did she ever think she could just keep things sexual with him? In retrospect, he’d gotten under her skin with very little effort. Was this how it felt to have a soul mate? Did she now believe in such things?
“I think I better skip dessert.” She flashed an uneven smile. “Good night.” She bolted out of her chair and raced from the balcony like a starlet from an old and black-and-white movie. The rub was she knew that she was overreacting, but damn if she could help herself.
“Toni,” Jonas called after her.
She didn’t stop.
She refused to stop.
It wasn’t because she was physically afraid of him, but afraid he could and would convince her to stay.
Not just for the night—but for a lifetime.
“Toni,” he called again.
When her hand landed on the knob of front door, Jonas steel grip, once again, seized her small wrist a second before he spun her around.
“Let me go!” she screamed, trying to wrench her hand free.
“What the hell?” Stunned, Jonas released her and jumped back. “You were about to leave without your purse and coat.”
Her burning face shifted from anger to embarrassment. However, her chest heaved from her sprint across the spacious condo.
“What the hell is going on with you?” Jonas said; things were starting to click in his head. “What is this really about? Why are you running from me?”
She drew a breath, ready to recite her rehearsed speech.
“And don’t insult me by feeding me more of that crap you just gave me out on the terrace.” He closed the sparse space between them. “I’ve seen you like this once before.”
She clamped her mouth shut, momentarily thrown off guard.
“In your office,” he continued. “With Olson.” His narrowed gaze studied her. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
Toni drew a few deep breaths, collected herself and tried to regain control of this situation. “I don’t
do
long-term relationships,” she admitted. “I’m no good at them.”
Jonas folded his arms; after awhile, he lifted his chin, satisfied that she had at least told him part of the truth. “You were afraid of me a minute ago,” he said matter-of-factly. “Why?”
She hesitated.
“You thought I was going to hurt you,” he added.
“No,” she lied, and then tried to laugh it off.
Jonas didn’t buy it and he grew angry at the conclusion his brain leaped to. “Who hurt you in the past?”
“No one,” she lied again, and continued with her awkward laugh. What the hell was wrong with her? She usually had a better poker face than this.
The lies just continued to irritate Jonas. “Was it Olson? That weasel attorney?” His hands clenched into fists.
“No!”
“Then who?” Jonas thundered, slamming a fist against the door behind her.
The loud bang and sudden rattle caused Toni to yelp and jump. “I want to end this. Now.”
Jonas shook his head. He couldn’t possibly be going through this yet again. “Toni,” he said, reaching for her.
Again, she sidestepped him and avoided his touch.
“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” she pleaded. “We haven’t been together long. It’s not like...”
“What?” he barked. “Like we
love
each other?” This time when he reached for her, she didn’t turn him away. “What if I said I have fallen for you?”
Her gaze dropped to the incredible wide span of his chest. A knot of emotion lumped in her throat and rushed a river of tears to the back of her eyes.
Her gaze dropped and refused to lift again.
Jonas laughed. What else could he do? It was the second time he’d put his heart on the line and the second time a woman stomped all over it. “I can’t believe that Q was right.” A strange laugh bubbled in the back of his throat.
Toni eyed him wearily as his laughter rumbled like a madman. “Right about what?”
“That when it comes to women, you keep your heart out of it. Evidently, I’m a slow learner.” His eyes sparkled as if seeing her for the first time. “But
you
figured this stuff out a long time ago, didn’t you?”
Toni tried to back away; but then realized, she was already pressed up against the door.
“You never wanted my heart in all of this, did you?” he asked, removing all trace of humor from his voice.
“Jonas-”
“Answer the question,” he hissed.
She closed her eyes and tried not to concentrate on how his warm breath heated her entire body and on how his bulging erection pressed against her pelvis.
“You’ve only wanted one thing from me, haven’t you?”
“Jonas-”
“Haven’t you?” He shifted ever so slightly to press his steel-like erection against her. He leaned forward and nipped at her ear. “Was I getting too serious for you? Hmm? Did I break a cardinal rule?”
When he drew her lower lobe between his teeth, her body trembled deliciously. But wait. She was supposed to be breaking things off.
“I can change it up, baby.” He turned his head and found her lips. “Sex with no strings attached. Is that it? Is that all you want?”
She tried to answer, but the way he ground against her brought her dangerously close to an orgasm.
“What’s the matter, baby?” he asked, his fingers already making quick work of the buttons on her blouse. “Are you afraid to play with fire?”
“Jonas,” she panted. Whatever else she was going to say was cut off when his lips covered hers again. Seconds later, Jonas unzipped his pants, hiked her up against the wall, pushed the thin string of her thong aside and entered her with one, smooth stroke.
To neither of their amazement, she was lush and more than ready for him. He reached down and gripped her satiny butt cheeks. She engulfed him to the hilt, her round bottom pressed against him and the door.
“Is this what you want, baby? Hmm?”
“N-no.”
Yes.
Hell she didn’t know what the hell she wanted.
“No? You want me to stop?” His hips slowed to a torturous pace. “Say it and I’ll stop.”
“No,” she muttered again.
“No stop or yes stop?”
“Don’t. Stop.” She bucked against him, silently urging him to pick up the pace.
Jonas was only too happy to oblige.
His smooth thrusts became quick hammerings and Toni had to wrap her hands around his shoulders in order to hang on for the ride. The door bucked and rattled behind her, but all she could think of was the glorious sensations building inside of her, dragging her closer to the brink of madness.
“C’mon, Baby. You feel the fire, yet?” Jonas questioned. “Um?”
A small warning shot off in the back of Toni’s head. There was something different in Jonas’s tone-a dark edginess.
“I want you to get what
you
want. What
you
need,” he hissed.
Hard as she tried, she really couldn’t concentrate on his words because her body was too busy gloriously responding to his exquisite thrusts.
Hard.
Rough.
Deep.
Damn, she could barely breathe, let along think. Her fingers dug into his flesh while he rammed her against the door.
Jonas watched his wildflower through budding angry tears. She was so beautiful. So passionate. So exciting. Why couldn’t she be his and his alone?
