Feel the Rush: A Hard Feelings Novel (InterMix) (12 page)

Meagan’s mouth fell open and her brows furrowed tightly. “What the hell, Eva?”

“I’m sorry, Meggy. I know—shocker coming from me, right? But you’re fucking with him, babe. You tell him you don’t want him, that you just want to be friends, yet you’re sending him all the signals that say you want to do a lot more things to him than your typical friendship allows. Make up your mind. Either have sex or don’t. Either be friends, or fuck-buddies, or get married for all I care, but just make up your mind. You’re torturing the poor guy.”

Meagan threw her head back, huffing a frustrated breath out of her mouth as she focused her eyes on the fluff of white clouds that were slowly moving across the sky. Dammit, Eva was right. And she hated when Eva was right.

She dropped her head back down. “It’s so damn hard.”

“Because you’re making it hard.”

She was. Meagan was letting her body have a mind of its own. She had told Reed that she wanted to be friends, and he was being so respectful of that. Hell, he even pulled away in the pool when she obviously was lacking the restraint to do it herself, and when he so clearly didn’t want to either. She just needed to figure out a way to line the boundaries—to draw a line in the proverbial sand. And she needed to figure out a way to do it soon—if anything, this weekend should be like a thread tied around her pinky, reminding her exactly what she needed to do—stick to her plan. Reed had a way of throwing her off course, changing the speed limit, and whipping in a couple of U-turns. She didn’t have time for his detour. . . .

“I would listen to your friend.”

Meagan’s head snapped around to see Becky walking up behind her. Had she heard their entire conversation?

“I’m sorry?” Meagan retorted. She was trying not to sound annoyed, but she couldn’t help the small dose that seeped through. This women didn’t care for her—she’d gathered that little tidbit—but that didn’t mean she had to be a bitch. Meagan didn’t care if she was Reed’s sister or not, she wasn’t going to let her intimidate her.

“You say you’re friends, and that’s fine. Tell me whatever you need to to make yourself sleep better at night. But I know my brother. Just listen to your friend. Don’t play games with him, okay?” She pressed her lips together briefly, like she was shifting through her memory, and when she spoke again her voice was softer—sad. “Especially not here—not this weekend.” She turned on her tiny bare feet and headed back to the door to the cabin before Meagan had a single chance to get a word in.

Meagan’s brows furrowed. What was with her? And what was so significant about this damn weekend?

“You bleeding?” Eva asked.

Meagan blinked and pulled her eyes off of a retreating Becky and looked over at Eva. “What?”

“She was spitting daggers. Cold, sharp daggers. What the hell did I miss?”

She sighed. “You didn’t miss anything. She gave me the evil eye when she first got here, but I thought she was just playing the overprotective sister.”

“Um, I think it’s safe to say you assumed correct, babe.”

“Yeah, but I think there’s more to it.”

Eva threw her hands onto her little waist. “Well, whatever it is, we’re not going to let it ruin your big weekend.”

Meagan rolled her eyes. Becky wasn’t going to ruin her weekend, it was already ruined by default. “Shut up, go get your swimsuit on, and get your ass in this pool with me then.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Eva leaned forward and smacked Meagan on the ass before she bounced off toward the cabin. “You want a beer?” she hollered over her shoulder.

“Do you really need to ask?”

Eva winked. “Be right back.”

Chapter Ten

Reed woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon frying and coffee brewing and his stomach rumbled in gratitude. He sat up in his bed, his hand instantly slamming against the throb that was pulsing in his forehead. Hangover headache, just what he needed, although it was nothing a couple of aspirin couldn’t cure. After the amount of alcohol he consumed last night he was lucky all he had was a headache.

Meagan had been acting weird all night, and it did nothing but frustrate the shit out of him. She wasn’t her typical cute, sweet, comfortable self around him. Actually she wasn’t around him much at all. After they ate dinner—which she maybe said a total of two words during—she spent the rest of the evening playing poker on the back deck with Sanders, Murano, and Eva, drinking beer, and downing her Jell-O shots. She had offered him a few smiles here and there, but that was it. So what did he do instead? Pouted like a pussy-whipped moron and drank until he damn near couldn’t walk. He was amazed he made it up to his bed. Whatever the hell he did wrong, whatever he did to cause him to fall off that fucking tightrope, he was fixing it—today.

Reed clumsily walked down the stairs, using the railing as his support as he felt the full effect of his alcohol consumption.

“Well, good morning, Reedster. How ya feeling?” Becky said from the couch where she was sitting, nursing Addie, whose tiny baby feet were the only things Reed could see poking out from the blanket Becky had draped over her.

“I feel like a million bucks, how about you?” He yawned, scratching his bare chest.

“Well, considering I didn’t drink until I passed out, I’m doing great.” Becky’s eyes softened around the edges. “You good, Reed?” Her tone was gentle, concerned.

He gave her a knowing glance. “Yeah, I’m good.” He shook his head quickly. “It’s not that.”

She nodded her head, then peeked under the blanket to check on Addie. “Well, whatever it is, I’m here.”

He winked and gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m good.”

Reed padded barefoot toward the kitchen. He needed water—a gallon of it. He had a full day planned for them. He wanted to float the river—there was a lake that branched out from the Chattahoochee, and they usually took his buddy, Finn’s, speedboat out, but he wasn’t able to get a pass this year, and he was stuck at battalion pulling staff duty—so floating the river was the next best thing.

Reed and his brother had always spent the Fourth out on the water for as long as he could remember—it was their tradition. He and his brother were two peas in the pod when it came to pretty much everything. They liked the same foods, enjoyed the same activities, had the same friends, and even, at times, unknowingly had the same woman, which earned them a few matching black eyes. His brother wasn’t here—but he wasn’t going to let that stop him from holding on to those things, to their traditions.

“Well, look who is up and moving. Moring, sunshine.” Eva was standing at the stove flipping pancakes and frying bacon.

Reed opened the fridge and pulled out a jug of water. “Morning.” He put the jug to his mouth and tilted his head back, the cold fluid soothing his throat as the water flowed down, quenching his hangover thirst.

He set the jug down and reached for a pancake that was on top of a stack a foot high, but Eva swatted his hand away with cat-like reflexes. “Hands off. Those are for Meagan, it’s her birthday.”

***

Meagan groggily moped out of her room and dragged her feet along the plush, thick carpet as she headed downstairs. She had been trying to avoid this day for more than a month now. Good-bye, twenties; hello, thirties. Meagan always used to love her birthday being on the Fourth of July, celebrating with fireworks, cornhole, and hotdogs on the grill. She loved her birthday, and she usually did it up big. But this year she just wanted to crawl back into bed and pretend it never happened. But she couldn’t—she had let Eva and Reed talk her into this trip and now she was forced to put on her happy face and celebrate.

When she walked into the kitchen and saw the huge stack of pancakes, complete with thirty lit candles poking from the top, she wanted to cringe and laugh and quite possibly die. Birthday pancakes, she should have known. Eva had made them for her for the last four years.

“Happy birthday!” Eva exclaimed with a little bit too much enthusiasm for before noon. She handed Meagan a mimosa and Meagan smiled. It was faint, and it probably looked ridiculous spread across her face, but it was all she had in her at the moment.

Her head shifted to the side when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye—a half-naked Reed was taking the few short strides to her. He swung an arm around her shoulders, pulled her against his side in that half-hug sorta way, and kissed the top of her head. “Happy birthday, sugar.” The warmth from his bare chest seeped into her skin at the comforting contact, but just as quickly and easily as he had embraced her, he released her.

“Ah, hell yes, pancakes,” Luke said, walking up behind Meagan as him and Murano entered the kitchen. She watched as Eva’s face contorted into a cheesy-ass grin the second she saw Luke. She did believe that her pain-in-the-ass, tough-as-nails friend had a little crush.

“Not just pancakes, birthday pancakes, and you can have some after Meagan blows out her candles.”

“It’s your birthday, Meagan?” Becky asked, joining them with Conner by her side and Addie in her arms.

“Yes.”

“Well, happy birthday. Reed, why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because, I didn’t know.” He pointed his accusing eyes at Meagan and she shrugged, shifting her eyes toward the ceiling in that don’t-blame-me way.

Eva carried the stack of pancakes, which looked like it was about ready to burst into a ball of flames from the abundance of candles that were lit on top of them, over to Meagan and sat them down on the island in the middle of the kitchen. Everyone started singing “Happy Birthday” to her while she attempted to keep a grateful smile on her face for the duration of the time. She could already tell she was going to need something stronger than a mimosa to get through the day.

Chapter Eleven

Eva pulled her fiery red curls back into a ponytail. “You can’t just ignore him and hope that it goes away.”

Meagan looked over at Eva as she slipped her swimsuit cover-up over her head. It looked more like a lightweight black dress than a swimsuit cover-up, though. “Hope that what goes away?”

“Your attraction to him. I told you to stop torturing the poor guy and instead you go and add a notch to his misery and ignore him the entire night. That’s even worse than teasing the hell out of him, Meggy. I’m probably going to regret what I’m about to say, but cut the man some slack.”

Meagan pulled her hair out of the messy bun that was on top of her head and let it fall down over her shoulders. “Since when did you become the Yoda of all things men– and sex-related?”

“I’ve always been your Yoda, you just never listen to me.”

“Yeah, because if I did that I would have been having little Joey babies.”

A shiver shook Eva’s shoulders. “Ah, Joey . . . don’t get me all excited—and don’t try to distract me from my lecture,” she reprimanded. “You may be thirty now, but you’re still young and single and sexy. Take advantage of what you’ve got, babe. Reed is gorgeous, he has a body that I would love to crawl on top of, and his eyes—oh, and that mouth. How can you keep away from those lips? I can only imagine what they can do.”

“Believe me, I’m having trouble keeping away. I just don’t want to get suckered in.”

“Then don’t. If you want to keep your relationship sex-free, then by all means, it’s your potential orgasm you’re wasting, not mine—but don’t ignore the guy. He looked like a lost, sad little puppy last night, I could barely stand it. He obviously knew something was up with you, hence the drunken stupor he slipped into. Enough with the games.”

“Coming from the woman who was all for torturing him—I believe the game you were plotting was to get him hot and bothered then shut him down.”

“You’re right, but that was when the idiot didn’t remember having sex with you. It’s different now.”

Meagan crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for Eva to volunteer her words of Eva-wisdom, because Meagan was dizzy from trying to keep up with her.

Eva sighed. “That was before I saw the way he looked at you—”

“What way?”

“You may be a blonde, but I know you’re not dumb. That man has no desire to be your friend.”

“You’re right, I’m not stupid. It doesn’t take a genius to know that Reed wants to dive into the past and get me back in his bed—hell, he would probably even admit it.”

“Okay, I take back my ‘you’re not dumb’ comment, because clearly you are.” She picked up the SPF lotion and tossed it to Meagan. “I’m gonna let you off the hook today since it’s your birthday, but do me a favor, no more ignoring him. I don’t think I can handle a full day of pouty Reed.”

Meagan laughed at the thought of Reed sulking in the hammock on the deck last night, drinking like a fish. It wasn’t funny, and she shouldn’t be laughing at him—but she couldn’t help but think his little temper tantrum was cute. She just definitely didn’t want to be the cause of another one. Besides, Eva was right—again. She couldn’t keep playing games with him, and she couldn’t just ignore him for the rest of the trip either. She liked him, she really did. He made her laugh and he was fun to be around. He was like chicken noodle soup on a cold day. He was like her favorite song that she hadn’t heard in a long time—the one that made her smile regardless of the mood she was in—and he was like her favorite movie when she needed a good laugh. He was soothing, and comforting, and just—easy. Being around him was easy—except, she didn’t just want to be around him, she wanted to be with him. Could she do that? Could she keep her feelings locked away and enjoy him for what he was offering? She’d done it with Kale, why couldn’t she do it with Reed? But then what? She would be right back to where she started—no closer to finding her forever than when she was dating all the other Mr. Wrongs that had come into her life. Mr. Thrill was no exception. She needed to keep him separate, she had to.

“You girls ready?” Luke stuck his head in the doorway to their room, giving Eva a once-over as she stood in her shorts and bikini top.

“Yep.” She slipped a T-shirt on and stepped into her flip-flops.

“Good, then get your little asses downstairs so we can go, you women take longer getting ready than my men do on the first day of jump school—and that’s not saying much.”

“Oh, quit your whining, we will be down in two minutes,” Eva mumbled.

Luke looked at a nonexistent watch on his wrist. “I’m timing you, and if you’re not down here in two minutes, I’m coming up after you.”

Eva cocked her head to the side. “Is that supposed to be a threat or a promise?”

Luke leaned his Hulk-like shoulder into the frame of the door and crossed his arms over his massive chest. “What do you want it to be?”

Meagan cleared her throat. “You guys realize that I’m still standing right here, don’t you?”

“Aw, sweetheart. We wouldn’t leave you out. You’re more than welcome to join us.”

“How very generous of you, but thanks. I’ve seen Eva butt-ass-naked more times than I can count”—she smiled at Eva—“and I promise, you won’t be disappointed, but I will let you enjoy her all by yourself. Besides, I live with her, I can have her anytime I want her.”

Meagan struggled to keep the seriousness even on her face as she watched Luke’s mouth part slightly and his eyes widen. He was too easy.

Meagan winked at Eva then walked past Luke, stopping in the doorway to give him a friendly pat on the back. “She likes her hair pulled, just not too hard. Oh, and she gets extra feisty when you spank her ass.”

A fit of laughter was caught in the back on Meagan’s throat as Luke looked down at her, trying to determine whether or not she was serious. Her little white lie was worth it too, she had him all twisted up and it was hilarious. Oh, the power women had over men was sometimes unbelievable.

“No, I get extra feisty when I spank
your
ass, remember?”

“Reed!” Luke turned his head into the hall and hollered. “These women are fucking with me something good!” He looked back at Meagan, who was still standing next to him, and then to Eva, who was standing conveniently next to the bed. “You two are fucking with me, right?”

That was it, Meagan couldn’t hold back the laughter that was starting to strangle her. Her mouth opened and the most soothing laugh erupted from her throat. Eva crossed the room and stopped in front of Luke, more like stopped
on
Luke, her small body brushing against him. Eva smiled at him and then snaked her arm out and slid it around Meagan’s waist, pulling her in close. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

She then walked past Luke, who was now frozen solid in the doorway, pulling Meagan along with her. When they got halfway down the hall Meagan turned her head over her shoulder to see an oversize Luke staring after them.

“He was like putty.” Eva giggled.

“Jeez, mention a little girl-on-girl action and men lose all rational thoughts they possess in their usual one-track minds.”

“Well played, babe. That should make for a more interesting night. I can almost promise you I get a hair tug here or there and more than likely a couple good ass spankings.”

Meagan hip-checked Eva. “Yes, I’m dying to know if his penis is as big as the rest of him,” she whispered.

“I shall let you know.”

“You’re such a little slut,” Meagan teased.

“No, unlike you, I’m going to enjoy myself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with two consensual adults enjoying a night of casual sex at its finest. And besides, Luke has those lift-me-like-a rag-doll-and-pin-me-to-the-wall arms. How could I possibly resist?”

Meagan rolled her eyes and smiled. Eva was a spitfire, but that’s why she loved her.

Luke’s feet hit the bottom of the stairs just as they were turning the corner into the great room. “Reed,” he said, shaking his head back and forth like he was extremely disappointed, although Meagan knew he was anything but. “These women are up to no fucking good.”

“These two? Nah.” Reed winked at Meagan. “Y’all ready to go?”

“Yep,” Eva said, glancing back at Luke. He walked past, keeping a watchful eye on her as he continued to shake his head, and picked up the cooler next to the island in the kitchen.

“Where’s everyone else?” Meagan asked.

“Beck and Conner are going to hang out at the pool here with Addie, and Murano is waiting for us out by the truck, I think he’s on the phone.”

Meagan lifted her head slowly in understanding. Murano was talking to his married girlfriend. . . .

“All right, let’s go.” Luke said, walking toward the front door, cooler in hand.

They all followed. Meagan was actually looking forward to this. She hadn’t gone on a float trip since she was a teenager. Relaxing in a giant tube while drinking an ungodly amount of beer sounded like the perfect way to spend her birthday. Especially the beer part.

They loaded in the truck, Meagan sitting between Eva and Reed in the backseat.

“You feeling okay, lush?” Meagan asked as she nudged Reed with her shoulder.

“Are you kidding, I’m perfect. Nothing a little bacon grease and a couple aspirin couldn’t fix.”

“Good.” She smiled and for some reason Reed seemed to relax a little bit. Whatever it was that had him so uptight seemed to settle under his skin—and unfortunately, she had a feeling it was her.

***

The water was the perfect temperature as Reed walked into the river, pushing his tube and the beer tube on each side of him. Everyone followed and soon enough they were all tied up to the beer tube that was carrying their cooler.

Eva, Murano, and Luke were floating up ahead of him, and Meagan’s tube lingered in the back with Reed’s—and he was grateful for the alone time. He needed to get inside this woman’s head, because lately she was confusing the hell out of him. Sending him death looks one day, moaning in his mouth the next, calling the friend card, making dates with other guys, teasing the hell out of him, and then ignoring him all together. Fuck, he knew women were temperamental but this woman was taking it to a whole new level.

He leaned up a little in the tube, supporting his weight with his arms, as he turned his head to the side to look at her. She was temptation in the flesh, wearing her skimpy yellow bikini that sat so low on her hips it wouldn’t take much to pull it down just slightly and he would be able to see her in the way he had been picturing for nights. She had tits that were made to be worshipped. They were full and soft and the ample flesh was beautiful, barely hidden by a thin scrap of fabric. He wanted—no, he needed—to reach over and pull the string that tied around her neck, to let the material fall away, so he could feast his eyes on what his hands had been lucky enough to touch the other night.

But he wasn’t going to trample down that fucking path. Something was off with her last night, and as badly as he wanted to ask her what the hell was going on, he didn’t want to ruin the mood she seemed to be basking in at the moment. She was better today, she was back to herself, back to the confident woman who had embedded herself in his life when she sent him those narrowed-eyed glances that first night.

Her head was leaning back against the back of the tube, her hair spilling over, skimming across the top of the water. Her beautiful golden legs were hanging over the edge, her pink-polished toes dipping into the river. He stuck his hand into the cool, flowing water and paddled himself closer to her until he was able to reach out and latch onto the handle of her tube. The subtle jerk as his tube bounced against hers made her eyes pop open.

She smiled at him. “Hey, you.”

“Hey, birthday girl, you need another beer?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” She pressed her beer can to her lips and took a sip. Obviously she didn’t need another one.

Reed continued to hold onto her tube, keeping them right next to each other. “Yeah, so about this birthday thing, why didn’t you tell me it was today?”

“Because”—she lifted her head up off the tube and looked at him—“I’m thirty today.”

“Yeah, and?”

She sighed and dropped her head back against the tube. “I had hoped to have a lot more going for me by now, turning thirty just put this whole new ticking clock to the mix.”

Reed laughed, she was being ridiculous. “What the hell are you talking about?”

She rolled her head to the side, her baby blue eyes blinking slowly before she fixed them on his. She parted her lips, then shut them again—seeming to be deciding her next words. He could see the indecision flicker through her eyes before a heavy sigh heaved from her chest and relaxed her shoulders. “I wanted to be married,” she said, turning her head so she was looking back up to the sky. “I wanted to have kids. I wanted to be settled and happy by now. Instead I’m thirty and single. It’s just not what I pictured for myself, and turning thirty was a not-so-subtle reminder of everything I wanted and everything that I don’t have.”

“Why the hell did you give yourself a deadline anyway, sugar? So you’re thirty, big deal. Welcome to the club.”

Her eyes snapped back at him. “I don’t want in the club.”

“It’s not so bad.”

“Says the big, overgrown man-boy.”

He pinched his brows together, pretending to be offended. “Hey, now. What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You have this addictive energy for life, for the exciting spontaneous thrill. You like to play.”

“Yeah, and is that a bad thing?”

“No, not at all,” she said quickly, obviously trying to soften her unintentional insult. He smiled, letting her off the hook, and she relaxed. “I love that about you. But let me ask you, do you want a family? Do you want to get married and settle down?”

Reed thought about it for a minute. Did he want a family? Yes. He wanted the family that wasn’t here, the family that basically refused to see him. But did he want to get married and settle down? Why should he have that? It wouldn’t be fair.

“See,” she said when he didn’t respond. “You’re fine with your life the way it is, so you don’t understand where I’m coming from.”