Feels Like Home: A Southerland Family Contemporary Romance Book 1 (24 page)

Glancing over her shoulder, she looked at him
with blue eyes gone sapphire with desire and he realized he’d been
quiet for too long.

“
I love you,” he said. “I
can’t believe you’re mine.”

Her smile came and went in a flash replaced
by something that looked like longing. He closed the distance
between them, spun her into his arms and kissed her. He kissed away
all the worry and insecurity. He kissed her until she went soft,
warm, and pliant in his arms.

When he pulled away, she stumbled a little on
her heels. Gently, he eased her back against the wall, placing
tender kisses first on the delicate skin of her temple and then
behind her ear. She let her head tip to the side, offering him the
soft scented flesh of her neck. He laid a trail of kisses over her
pulse point to her collar bone and lower. By the time he reached
the tops of her breasts in their red silk cups, she was making
hungry sounds and trying to pull him closer. He licked the skin at
the edge of her bra, letting his tongue dip below the fabric to
skim the puckered flesh of her nipple.

It wasn’t enough – not nearly enough.

Easing the cup down, he drew her nipple into
his mouth and suckled her. Her back bowed and she clutched at his
shoulders.

“
God, so good, that feels
so good,” she said, repeating the words as he continued his assault
on her sensitive flesh.

He loved watching her lose control, loved
knowing he was the one who made her pulse race and her skin flush
with pleasure. Alternating his attention between her breasts, he
suckled and laved the pebbled tips until she was fisting her hands
in his shirt.

“
Take me to bed, please,”
she pleaded, her breath coming in shallow gasps.

“
Not yet, darling. Not
until you come for me.” He grinned at her and then dropped to his
knees.

With deliberate slowness, he snagged the
waistband of her panties and slid them down, exposing her damp
curls. Running his hands down her stocking clad leg, he lifted her
foot to let the panties slip off. He repeated the process with her
other leg, but this time instead of placing her foot back on the
floor he hooked her leg over his shoulder, opening her to him.

Sliding his fingers through her silky folds,
he groaned when he found her wet and ready for him. He couldn’t
wait to sink into her soft, wet heat, but first he’d make sure she
came apart under his hands and his mouth, dissolving in
pleasure.

He slid two fingers into her tight, swollen
channel, curving them in tight circles. Autumn clutched at his
shoulders and when he tasted her she cried out his name. Her
fingers threaded through his hair, holding him, and he lost himself
in the taste and feel of her.

She tightened around him and he felt her
climax start, milking his fingers. He waited until the spasms
stopped and her legs stopped trembling and then he rose. Her face
was flushed and her lips parted in pleasure. Without a thought
beyond getting her into his bed, he scooped her up and carried her
down the hall.

“
Put me down,” Autumn
squealed, laughing and wiggling.

“
No way. I’ve got you right
where I want you.” Jude kicked the door open and tossed her onto
the bed.

Still giggling, she landed with a bounce and
scrambled to her knees. She could see the erection straining his
pants, and she reached for his belt, pulling him to her. She wanted
him so much, wanted to give him back some of the pleasure he’d
given her. Slipping his belt from the loops, she unfastened his
pants, freeing him to her hand. When she took him in her mouth, he
groaned with such pleasure, her body tightened in response.

Running her tongue over him, she explored the
ridges of his flesh. She held his hips with her hands and gave
herself over to the rhythm of loving him. He threaded his fingers
through her hair and let out a low groan that had heat pooling low
in her body, moving through her like melted wax.

“
I need you, please,” he
said, his voice tight with desire. “I have to be inside
you.”

When he started to pull away, she held onto
him for a moment longer not quite ready to let go. He bent and
kissed her, reaching behind her for the hooks on her merry widow.
The lingerie had been a splurge but it was worth it to see his
expression when he looked at her.

“
I don’t want anything
between us.” He peeled off the red silk and sucked in a breath as
he bared her breasts. Cupping her breast with his hand, he suckled
her, molding the tight peak with his mouth until her back bowed and
her body ached for him.

“
Please,” she panted,
desperate and empty.

In a move which would have done Crash Davis
proud, he flipped open the clips holding her stockings and slid
them down her legs. He paused to place a kiss at the hollow of each
ankle before helping her shimmy out of the garter belt.

Naked and aching with need, she reached for
him. With trembling fingers, she tugged at the buttons on his dress
shirt. He helped her, shrugging out of his shirt and stepping free
of his pants. And then he was there, pushing her gently back
against the pillows and covering her body with his.

Propped on his elbows, he nipped at her lips,
teasing and tasting her. He caught her bottom lip between his teeth
and she opened for him, meeting his tongue with her own.

In one smooth motion, he slid inside her,
filling her body with his. He paused for just a moment and she lost
herself in the stretch and fullness of his body meeting hers. And
then he started to move, hips thrusting, sliding over her
deliciously sensitive flesh, and all she could do was feel him.
Feel them. Every sensation concentrated to the sweet juncture where
their bodies joined.

“
I love you,” he murmured,
his gaze boring into her.

“
I love you, too.” She felt
tears leak from her eyes.

He cradled her head with his hands, tucking
her into his chest and rocked them to a climax that left her both
broken and whole.

Autumn woke with Jude spooned around her, his
arm wrapped under her breasts, and his legs twined with hers. He
snored soft and deep against her hair. She managed to untangle her
legs, but when she shifted away from him he tightened his grip in
his sleep. She froze, unwilling to wake him.

God, she loved him and after last night she
didn’t know how she could ever leave him. But she didn’t know how
to stay either. She’d spent so much of her life, running from the
past and building walls to keep her safe. Everything she’d ever
done had been to prove she was better than where she came from.
That she could take care of herself.

How was she supposed to trust someone – even
someone as trustworthy as Jude – enough to let all the walls come
down?

They’d come down when they made love, but
what happened the next time someone like Andrew said something?

Maybe she’d just used Andrew as an excuse.
She didn’t know anymore, but she couldn’t stay here. If he woke up
and looked at her with all the love he’d shown her last night, she
wouldn’t have a choice. Her heart would choose for her.

Inch by inch she rolled away from him,
pausing after each movement to make sure he still slept. When he
let her go, she wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or heartbroken.
She waited a few precious moments before climbing out of bed and
grabbing her clothes.

She made the walk of shame barefoot, carrying
her shoes the long blocks between their houses. The early morning
air was cool and the sidewalk even cooler but it was better than
hiking the distance in heels. Up ahead she saw Mrs. Adair power
walking on the other side of the street.

Fantastic.

Autumn could tell the exact moment Mrs. Adair
saw her and realized who she was because her arms stopped mid pump
and she missed a step.

“
Morning, Mrs. Adair.” She
smiled her best smile and raised her shoes in salute. No more
hiding. It didn’t work anyway.

She strode on past the other woman who was
still opening and closing her mouth like a fish. At least the heat
flaming Autumn’s cheeks helped keep her warm the last few
blocks.

She pushed open the front door and her heart
melted. Max was curled up on one end of the sofa and Abby’s head
rested in his soft fur. God, even Jude’s dog was kind and
trustworthy. As long as you didn’t count the “no dogs on the
furniture rule,” which she wasn’t.

“
Morning, sweet
potato.”

“
Morning,” Abby said
without taking her gaze off the cartoons. The dog opened his eyes
but didn’t bother to raise his head.

“
Where’s your
momma?”

“
Sleeping.”

The word made Autumn’s stomach tighten but
nothing in her niece’s or the dog’s reactions meant cause for
alarm. It was early, she reminded herself. Summer should be
sleeping. She climbed the steps and walked past her own room to
peek in on her sister anyway.

Summer slept snuggled under Gran’s quilt. The
early morning light made the room sunny and fresh and it smelled
like her sister, like lavender and soap. Autumn crept closer and
watched her sister’s breath rise and fall in a steady rhythm. Her
cheeks were flushed with sleep and she looked so peaceful, Autumn
didn’t want to risk disturbing her.

She backed quietly out of the room and
tiptoed down the hall to change. When she got back downstairs it
didn’t look like either Abby or the dog had moved. Autumn sank into
the opposite end of the sofa and pulled Abby’s bare little feet
across her faded denim clad lap. On the television Phineas and Ferb
were trying to decide what to do that day while their pet platypus
played secret agent. She managed to sit still for five minutes but
that was all she could handle. She couldn’t stop thinking about
Jude.

“
Are you hungry?” she asked
when the commercials started.

“
Yeah.”

“
Let’s go grab some
breakfast. We’ll bring something back for your momma. It’ll be a
treat.” She saw Abby’s gaze slip back towards the television. “Come
on. You can watch that thing any time.”

“
Can Max come?”

Autumn had to get out of the house and she
did not want to be alone. “Sure, we’ll get him some chicken.”

The three of them sat in the car in the
parking lot at Hawk’s munching chicken biscuits. Abby hadn’t wanted
to leave the dog alone in the car which suited Autumn. She wasn’t
up to making small talk with Hawk’s other patrons. All she could
think about was Jude waking up and wondering where she’d gone.

She deliberately hadn’t brought her cell
phone because she didn’t think she was ready to talk to Jude and
she didn’t want to have to ignore it. Now it seemed like a stupid
decision. He was probably worried and she couldn’t even call to
tell him she was okay.

Abby took a chunk off of her biscuit and
passed it back to Max. He’d already inhaled his and he took the
offered treat gently in his huge mouth.

They could take the dog back to Jude’s. With
Abby along, she and Jude couldn’t talk about anything serious. Of
course, she might have to leave Abby there, she thought, watching
the massive black dog lick her fingers with his big pink
tongue.

“
I think we better take Max
back to Dr. Southerland, kiddo. He’s probably missing him.” She
gave Abby the rest of her biscuit to feed the dog and crumpled the
wrapper.

“
Do we have to? Couldn’t
Dr. Southerland come back to our house?” the little girl
pleaded.

“
Not today.” Abby was too
used to not getting her way to whine, but Autumn could tell she was
upset. “Tell you what, why don’t we swing by your old house and
grab some of your stuff. I told your momma we’d do that this
weekend. That way you’ll have toys to play with and you won’t miss
Max as much.” If Summer was right about Dwayne staying somewhere
else, it was unlikely he’d be at the trailer this early. And if he
was they could always come back later.

“
Can we go there
first?”

“
Okay, but we need to be
quick. I don’t want Dr. Southerland to worry.”

When they got to the
trailer, the little gravel parking space was empty.
So far so good.
Autumn
used Summer’s spare key to open the flimsy front door although the
key seemed unnecessary given how easily the door shook in the
frame. Max pushed inside and she and Abby followed.

It was dark and the air smelled sour and
stale, the same almost cat urine smell from before. It didn’t look
like anyone had been there since she’d grabbed some clothes for
Summer after the hospital. They’d planned to come back for the
rest, but every time she’d suggested it, her sister got quiet so
she hadn’t pressed the issue.

Abby made a beeline for her room with Max on
her heels. Autumn turned toward the kitchen to look for grocery
bags or something to carry Abby’s things. She froze, her head under
the sink when she heard footsteps on the porch and the dog’s steady
growl. Standing, she watched in horror as Dwayne stepped through
the open door.

The ripped jeans hung low on Dwayne’s hips
like they’d been bought for someone much larger. He wore a faded
thin t-shirt that proclaimed Dealer and his hair fell in greasy
strands around his drawn face. But it was his eyes that made
Autumn’s blood go cold. His eyes were huge, bloodshot, red-rimmed,
and crazy.

“
Looky here. I just stepped
out for a minute, taking a break from my work and look who showed
up. Where’s the fucking bitch?” He didn’t slur his words so he
hadn’t been drinking.