Fever (53 page)

the drugs from her system. She’s resting comfortably now. She probably won’t come around for a

while, but you can sit with her if you like.”

There was no question. He would stay with her until she woke again and he’d never leave her side.

Before he left, he turned his hard gaze on Kaden and then nodded in Jack’s direction. “You make

sure he doesn’t go anywhere. I haven’t yet decided what’s to be done about him.”

“Yes, sir.”

Jace hurried back to Bethany’s room. It was much quieter than before. His breath caught in his

throat when he walked through the door and saw her on the bed, lying so pale and still.

He took a seat by her bedside, pulling the chair so he was right next to her head. She looked

extremely fragile, like a porcelain doll, so still and quiet. He reached up to tuck a strand of hair away

from her cheek and let his fingers trail down her skin.

The only sound was the heart monitor and the steady rhythm of her heart. She still wore a cannula,

which fed oxygen into her nostrils. Other than that, she didn’t stir. Her breaths were so light that he

leaned forward to reassure himself she was still breathing.

He pressed his lips to her forehead, closing his eyes as he savored the reassuring sound of the heart

monitor. She was alive. She was breathing. Her heart beat. It was enough. No matter what happened

from here on out, it would always be enough that she was alive and in his life.

“Come back to me, Bethany,” he whispered. “I love you so much.”

chapter forty-one

Bethany’s dreams were tormented. Or maybe she was awake, but she couldn’t seem to make her

eyes open. But she’d had the most horrible dream that she’d been in a hospital and Jace had been

standing over her, fear blazing in his eyes. And then he’d told her that she’d overdosed. That she’d

taken drugs and tried to kill herself!

Her heart hurt. Did he really think she could do something like that? And why couldn’t she seem to

wake up so the horrible dream would go away?

She wanted Jace. Wanted him to hold her and to soothe the horrible ache in her chest. To tell her

he’d never believe something so terrible of her. But then, he didn’t trust her yet. The other night had

taught her as much.

She tried to open her eyes again and shake away the heavy veil that weighed her down. It hurt.

God, it felt as though someone had driven a stake through her head. But she struggled on, determined

to break free of the fog surrounding her.

Her eyelids slowly fluttered, each blink beating like a hammer. She dragged her lids upward and

for a moment, utter panic swamped her. It was dark and unfamiliar and the smell—it was so sterile.

Like a . . . hospital.

She glanced frantically around, trying to make sense of her surroundings. She was in a strange bed.

Not very comfortable either. A rhythmic
beep-beep
sounded loudly in her ear, making her wince.

“Jace?”

It came out more panicked sounding than she’d like, but she was scared and alone and she wanted

Jace.

Then movement beside her, making her startle, and then Jace was suddenly looming over her, his

eyes filled with anguish and relief.

“Bethany, baby, you’re awake. Thank God, you’re awake.”

His voice was clogged with emotion. It sounded as though he’d been crying. There was so much

relief and worry all packed into those simple words that she was stunned and more befuddled than

ever. What had happened? What was wrong?

She licked dry lips and swallowed. Her tongue was thick and like sawdust in her mouth.

“I had the most horrible dream,” she whispered. “What’s wrong with me, Jace? Where am I?”

He pressed a kiss to her brow and she could feel him trembling against her skin. Almost like he

was desperately trying to maintain his composure. Then he took her hand, squeezing it in his. It was

then she realized there was an IV in her arm.

“You were very sick, baby. I almost lost you. Thank God you came back to me.”

Maybe it hadn’t been a dream. Oh God, did that mean he thought she’d tried to kill herself?

Hysteria rose in her throat and she made a strangled sound. She began to shake violently and Jace

enfolded her in his arms, holding her tightly against him.

“Shhh, baby, it’s going to be all right now.”

“I didn’t do it, Jace,” she said vehemently. “Please, you have to believe me. I didn’t take anything!

I wouldn’t!”

He stroked his hand down her hair and rocked her back and forth in his arms. “I know you didn’t,

baby. I
know.
”

She went still and then pulled back so she could see his face. “You do?”

“Of course. You told me you didn’t so I knew you hadn’t.”

She sagged, going limp against the pillow. Relief, sweet and heady, rushed through her veins. He

believed her.

“You believe me,” she whispered, relief making her light-headed. Then she frowned, her lips

pursing in confusion. “But how then? I don’t understand.”

“How much do you remember?” Jace asked gently.

Her brow furrowed and she tried to concentrate but her head hurt too badly. “I don’t know. I went

to Jack’s. Kaden called me. Said he was back. I went over, but I made sure Kaden was with me,” she

rushed to say.

Jace’s hand tightened around hers. “I know, baby. You did fine. You did everything right.”

“I was so angry with Jack. I was yelling at him. Asking him why he was so determined to fuck

things up. He said he wanted to say good-bye and when I asked him where he was going he just said

‘away.’”

A scowl darkened Jace’s face.

“He made me hot chocolate. That’s all I remember,” she said faintly.

“It’s all right, baby. You’re going to be okay. That’s all that matters.”

She looked up at him, grief coiling in her chest. Tears clogged her throat and she could barely

breathe.

“Jack,” she whispered. “He did it, didn’t he?”

Tears slid down her cheeks and a sob welled in her throat.

Jace looked tormented, his eyes tortured as he stared back at her. “I’m afraid so, baby. I’m sorry.”

She closed her eyes.
“Why?”

Jace sucked in a deep breath and he caressed her cheek, wiping away the tears. “He didn’t mean to

hurt you, honey. He’s an idiot, but he didn’t mean to hurt you.” He hesitated a long moment, his face a

mask of regret. “He meant to kill himself.”

“What?”

Pain exploded in her chest. No. He wouldn’t. But then memories filtered through her mind. Jack so

quiet and resigned. Him telling her he was leaving and when she asked where he was going he’d

simply said “away.”

“Why would he do something like that?”

Jace shook his head. “I don’t have an answer to that, baby. Sorry. I don’t know what he was

thinking. I busted his balls over it. I wanted to kill him myself for what he did to you. You almost

died. You
did
die. Thank God they got you back. I can
never
forgive him for that.”

She went silent, sadness overwhelming her. This time Jack had gone too far. He’d done something

he could never make amends for. Jace would never forgive him and she wasn’t sure she could either.

He’d crossed a line he could never go back from.

“Where is he now?” she asked quietly.

“He’s here. In the waiting room. Kaden is keeping an eye on him.”

“Don’t let him do it,” she whispered. “Don’t let him try it again.”

Jace slid onto the bed next to her, his hip resting against her side. “Right now I’m more focused on

you and you getting better. How do you feel? Is there anything I can get you?”

“Just groggy,” she replied. “Muggy. Like my head is all swimmy. Having a hard time

concentrating.”

“That’s to be expected,” he said gently. “Can you forgive me, Bethany? Are you willing to give me

a chance to make things right between us?”

She looked up in surprise. “What do you mean?”

He closed his eyes and when he reopened them there was a swarm of emotions. Relief. Sadness.

Worry. Fear.

“Do you have any idea how much it slays me that you’d even ask me that? Or the relief I feel at the

same time? You act as though I did nothing wrong. Like I didn’t cut you so deep that you cried

yourself to sleep while I was next to you, unable to do a damn thing about it.”

He sucked in a deep breath and she could see how truly shaken he was. He looked haggard,

completely strung out. Like he hadn’t slept in days.

“Baby, you have no idea how bad you scared me. I thought I’d lost you. I’ll never be more fucking

grateful than I am to that team of doctors and nurses who refused to let you go and brought you back to

me.”

To her astonishment, a tear slid down his cheek and he hastily wiped it away as he inhaled deeply

through his nose.

“How long have I been out?” she whispered.

He smiled shakily, relief still simmering in those dark eyes. “Over twenty-four hours, baby. They

brought you in yesterday morning.”

Her mouth dropped open. “That long?”

“That long,” he whispered. “The longest twenty-four hours of my life.”

“I’m sorry,” she said hoarsely, still stunned that she’d been unconscious for that long.

“Sorry?” He broke off in a garble laugh. “Baby, you have nothing to apologize for.”

“I’m sorry you were so worried though,” she said anxiously.

“It was worth it because I have you back. Never leave me, Bethany. Stay with me. Be with me.

Love me.”

“I do love you, Jace. I’m sorry . . .”

He held up his fingers to her mouth, silencing her gently with his touch. “Don’t apologize for

another damn thing. You’re going to lie there and listen to
my
apology.”

He turned, positioning himself on the narrow bed so he could lie next to her. It was crowded and

cramped, the two of them barely fitting, but he made it work by sliding his arms around her and

anchoring her firmly to his body. He put one arm underneath her head so it was pillowed against his

shoulder. Then he let out a long breath, his body relaxing. For a moment he was silent but he still

trembled against her. He touched her, his hand sliding up and down her body, stopping over her heart,

his fingers splayed wide as if reassuring himself of her steady heartbeat.

Then he slipped his fingers higher, to her neck, feeling the thud of her pulse.

“Never felt a sweeter thing, baby,” he whispered. “Your heart beating. You breathing. I’ll never

take that for granted. Going to wake up every day knowing it’ll be the best damn ever because you’re

still here, in my life, loving me, waking up next to me.”

Tears gathered in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Her chest rose with a quiet sob and she

turned her face into his neck, her breaths hiccupping over his skin.

“I’m sorry, baby. So damn sorry for that night. I had no right to say those things. You didn’t deserve

it. Ash didn’t deserve it. I lashed out at you both when you’re the last people on earth I’d ever want to

hurt.”

“It’s okay,” she said, her words muffled against his neck.

“No, it’s not okay, baby. It’s not. But I can guarantee you it’ll never happen again. Not that. I’m

sure I’ll say shit that hurts you. I won’t even swear that it’ll never happen. But I’ll never make you

feel like you did that night again. You’ll never go another day without my trust. I trust you absolutely.”

“I know,” she said quietly. “I know, Jace.”

He went still. “How could you possibly know that? I’ve certainly given you no proof.”

“You believed me when I said I didn’t take those pills.”

His grip tightened around her. “No, baby. At first I did because that was what I was told. But you

told me before. When you were so out of it. The one time you briefly regained consciousness. You

told me then and I knew you hadn’t.”

A fresh surge of tears welled in her eyes and spilled onto his neck. “Thank you for that. You don’t

know what that means to me.”

“I do,” he said quietly. “And I’m sorry it took me so long to give you that. I’ll never hold that back

from you again.”

He turned so he could press a kiss to her forehead and he left his lips there, warm and sweet

against her skin. She closed her eyes and savored the rightness of being in his arms. She was alive.

He was here. She couldn’t ask for anything more.

“Can you forgive me?” he asked again.

“Oh, Jace, I already forgave you. The morning you left for work. I know that trust takes time. We’re

so new. We fell into each other so hard and fast and things were so intense. And trust takes time to

build. We’ve only known each other such a short time and we’re still learning one another.”

“You’re so sweet and forgiving,” he said in an aching voice. “I don’t deserve you but I want you

more than I want to breathe. And I’m never letting you go, baby.”

“Don’t, then,” she whispered into his neck. “Don’t let me go, Jace. I’m lost without you.”

“You’ll never be lost, baby. Never again. I’ll always find you. No matter where you go, I’ll always

be there to bring you home.”

“I’m hungry,” she murmured. “Will they let me eat anything yet? When will I be able to go home? Is

there anything . . . wrong . . . with me? Will I be okay from this?”