Fever (49 page)

question it. Don’t need to know what was up because I know whatever it was is cool. I’ve had a

shitty day and all I wanted was to get home to be with Bethany and when I walked in and saw you

touching her and saw her fucking smile . . . God, she hasn’t smiled like that for me in days. She was

lit up like a fucking Christmas tree. It was so bright and breathtaking that it goddamn hurt to look at

her. And I just snapped. It was stupid. Neither of you deserved it. But I took out my anger and

frustration on you both.”

Ash just stared at him for a long moment. “This shit’s got to stop. This is twice you’ve bit at me.

I’m not taking it a third time.”

“I get it,” Jace said quietly.

“What the fuck, man? Did you honestly think she would cheat on you? Or is this some fucked-up

response to me sleeping with her that first time we were all together? Because she doesn’t deserve

that from you. She accepted something we offered and you’ve been punishing her for that ever since.

If you want to blame someone, take a look at yourself. If you’d been honest from the start, that night

would have never happened and you would never have to look at her and remember me fucking her.”

Jace flinched at the blunt assessment. But Ash was right. One hundred percent right. It was twisted,

but he realized Ash had hit on something Jace hadn’t even realized. He was, in a small way, punishing

Bethany for something she hadn’t even orchestrated. He couldn’t stand to see her and Ash together

because he was reminded of that night. And even though he’d been able to joke with Ash about it in

the office earlier, it was because Bethany hadn’t been there.

“No, I don’t think she’d cheat on me,” Jace said quietly. “And you’re right. She doesn’t deserve

this.
You
don’t deserve this. I couldn’t let you walk away without apologizing. I don’t want this

between us anymore.”

“If you don’t want it between us, then you need to deal, Jace. Because Bethany and I are cool.

We’re okay with what happened and we’re okay moving forward. She’s still embarrassed as hell

over it, which makes what you just did even worse. We’d worked it out. That’s what we were

discussing when you barged in acting like an asshole.”

Jace’s brows drew together. “What do you mean, ‘worked it out’?”

“It means I told her I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable around me and that I wanted us to be

friends. I see the way she looks at me when we’re together and how awkward things are. If you and

she are going to be together, I thought it was important that we bury the hatchet and that I try to make

things as comfortable and as easy between us as possible. That’s what you saw, Jace. Certainly not

me making moves on your woman.”

Jace rubbed his temples. “I’m sorry. I fucked up again. Swear to God, it’s all I do.”

“And why are you down here apologizing to me when it’s Bethany you need to be begging

forgiveness from?” Ash demanded.

Jace blew out his breath. “She’s upset.”

“Understandably so.”

“Yeah. Absolutely.”

“So, then why aren’t you up there with her?” Ash persisted. “Tell me you aren’t giving her up.

Because I’m telling you right now, you do that and I’ll move in and I won’t be the asshole you’re

being.”

Jace’s nostrils flared. “What the fuck? So you
do
have feelings for her.”

Ash shook his head. “All I know is that she’s a beautiful, desirable, sweet-as-hell woman. That

already places her miles above the women we typically fuck. I’d be perfectly happy to see where a

relationship would take us. I already know we’re compatible in bed.”

“Fuck you,” Jace snarled.

Ash smirked. “Then maybe you should get your ass up the elevator and make sure she’s not going to

leave your ass.”

Jace averted his gaze. “There was something different this time. She wasn’t so much pissed as she

was . . . defeated. It was scary as fuck. She got teary-eyed, but she tried to hide that from me so it

wasn’t like she was manipulating me with tears. And she was just so resigned and matter-of-fact. I

went too far this time, Ash. Trust has been an issue with us before. My mouth has gotten ahead of my

brain more than once and I’ve bit at her, said shit I didn’t mean, and it hurt her. Just like I hurt her a

while ago. Not sure she’s going to be so quick to forgive this time.”

“Well, you won’t know until you get your ass up there,” Ash said calmly.

“Are we good?” Jace asked in a quiet voice.

Ash’s shoulders went up and down as he blew out a deep breath. “Yeah, man, we’re good. But

swear to God, you won’t get a third time to pull that shit with me.”

Jace nodded and then held up his fist. Ash bumped it. Hard. Jace nearly winced as Ash’s knuckles

cracked over his.

“Go make this right with your girl,” Ash said. “Because if you don’t, I will.”

Jace scowled and Ash laughed.

“Knew that would motivate you,” Ash said, amusement heavy in his voice.

Jace punched him in the arm and then turned back to the elevator. “Later, man.”

“Let me know how it goes with Bethany,” Ash said quietly.

“Will do.”

• • •

ball, her back turned to the center of the bed so she’d face away from him.

She was also wearing pajamas when she always wore nothing to bed. It was one of his rules—the

first she’d blatantly broken.

He sighed, knowing damn well he wasn’t going to take her to task for not obeying the no-clothing-

to-bed dictate.

He undressed and then slid into bed next to her. He edged closer to her until her back was pressed

to his chest and he curled an arm around her body, pulling her even tighter to his body.

She went rigid, tension boiling off her body.

“We need to talk, baby.”

She shook her head. “No. Not tonight. I have nothing to say. I’m too upset and we’ll end up saying

things we regret. Isn’t that what you’ve basically said happens with you? That you say shit you don’t

mean? For once, I want you to say something you
do
mean. I’m tired of guessing. I’m tired of having

to tiptoe around, never knowing how you’re going to take things or how you’ll react or what fucked-

up way you’ll interpret something that is absolutely meaningless.”

He sighed and kissed her shoulder, leaving his lips pressed against her skin.

“You haven’t even eaten anything. It’s early yet.”

“I’m not hungry,” she said in a low voice. “Please, Jace, just leave me alone. I’m not going

anywhere. I’m not running. Go eat or do whatever it is you want to do and let me work this out on my

own.”

He rolled away from her onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

“Not crazy about you lying here hurting because of me, baby.”

She didn’t respond, but he saw the slight wobble of her shoulders and he cursed silently. She was

fucking crying. And she wanted to be left alone. Didn’t want to be comforted. Didn’t want his arms

around her. Didn’t want him holding her.

He squeezed his eyes shut. Yeah, he’d fucked up royally. Even worse than the last time. When

would he stop doing this shit?

How could he even go into work tomorrow when he’d be paralyzed with the fear of her leaving the

minute he was out of sight?

He couldn’t live like this. And he knew she couldn’t either. He was destroying her with his

mistrust. And the hell of it was, he
did
trust her.

Maybe this was a product of their relationship only being a few weeks old. These were issues all

couples had to work out, weren’t they? He’d moved fast. He knew that. Most normal people drew out

the dating and get-to-know-you stage a little longer than he had. But then, he’d always gone after what

he wanted with single-minded determination. Bethany had been no different in that regard.

Knowing he’d never go to sleep this early, he eased out of bed. Her back was still to him but he

also knew she was still awake. Her body was too rigidly set for her to have fallen into sleep.

“I’m going into the kitchen to get something to eat,” he said softly. “I’d love it if you joined me. Or

I can bring you something to eat in bed.”

She sniffed ever so lightly and his heart clenched all over again. Fuck it all. She was still crying.

He turned and strode out of the bedroom, fear and remorse vying for equal airtime. He’d said he

trusted her. Part of that was giving her space to work things out her own way. As long as she did it

here in his apartment, in his space, in his bed, he could deal. He’d said he trusted her. It was time to

show her he meant that.

He made a sandwich, more to have something to do than because he was hungry. He remembered

when Gabe had fucked up so badly with Mia, she’d told him that if he ever had a hope of getting her

back that he’d have to crawl. And Gabe had crawled. He’d humbled himself in front of half of New

York City in order to get Mia back.

Jace hadn’t really gotten it at the time. He’d thought Gabe was being a bit too dramatic, but now he

realized the desperation Gabe must have been feeling. Jace would crawl. He’d do whatever it took to

get Bethany to stay.

After hours of churning over every word he wanted to say, he went back into the bedroom only to

find the lights out. She’d gotten up long enough to darken the room. When he climbed into bed, he

could hear her soft breathing, but what pained him more was the fact that even in sleep, she softly

hiccupped, a sign that she’d cried for quite some time.

He turned into her, inhaling her sweet scent. He buried his face in her hair and curled his arm

around her middle, anchoring her against his body.

Sleep was a long time coming, and when it finally did, it was filled with haunting dreams of a

world without Bethany.

chapter thirty-eight

Bethany came awake to soft lips brushing over her shoulder. She winced when her eyes opened

and pain instantly stabbed through her head. Her eyes were puffy and swollen. Her throat was

scratchy and achy from the tears she’d shed the night before.

“Baby, wake up for me, please.”

Jace’s soft voice drifted over her ears and she closed her eyes again as a flood of pain rocketed

through her all over again.

“Bethany, I need you to look at me.”

Grudgingly she turned halfway to her back so she could meet Jace’s gaze. He winced when he saw

her face. She must really look bad based on his reaction.

He stroked his fingers over her face and then he leaned in to kiss her.

“Baby, I know what I did was wrong. It wasn’t fair to you or to Ash. I’ve made things right with

Ash but I have to make them right with you.”

He went silent a moment as if allowing her to digest his words. Then he continued on.

“I have to go into the office this morning. Unless you want me to stay and talk now. Nothing is more

important than you. But if you need more time, I’m going to go into the office, make a few calls, get

caught up with Gabe and Ash, and then I’m coming home so we can work this out.”

She nodded, her throat too raw to speak.

“I want you to rest, take it easy today,” he said gently. “When I get home, we’ll talk. Then we’ll go

get something to eat. Spend the evening together, just you and I.”

“Okay,” she said hoarsely.

She rolled back to her side as he moved away from the bed. And she closed her eyes again, drifting

back into the dark void.

Her thoughts were chaotic. She’d thought about the situation all night. Only in the hour before dawn

had she been able to drift off fully.

The problem was that there was nothing she could do to fix the issue between her and Jace. He

either trusted her or he didn’t. There was no magic solution. Nothing she could do to change it. It was

on him and if he didn’t trust her, nothing she did or said would ever change that fact.

She had no doubt that he was truly regretful for the way things had gone down the prior evening.

But that didn’t mean he trusted her, and it didn’t mean that it wouldn’t happen again.

She listened as he quietly readied himself for work. When it was time for him to go, he came back

over to the bed and leaned down to kiss her forehead. He lingered there a moment longer, as if he was

reluctant to leave.

A part of her didn’t want him to go. Wanted him to stay and hold her so she could pretend this issue

didn’t exist between them. The other part wanted him to leave so she could have time to herself to

sort through her mixed feelings.

Finally he drew away after smoothing the hair from her face and forehead. Then his footsteps

sounded and retreated from the bedroom until she could no longer hear him.

Her eyes burned with more tears and she closed them tighter, determined not to give way to them

again. She’d spent the entire night alternating between anger and deep sadness. She still wasn’t sure

which was the clear winner. Her emotions were a mess lately. Between Jack and Jace she was on a

roller coaster from hell.

She dozed fitfully, checking the clock each time she awoke. She finally realized she was willing