Fiendish: A Twisted Fairytale (42 page)

“Do you really want to have this conversation in your front yard?”
 he asked softly.

“Do you really want to have it in front of Macy?”
 I countered. 

The left side of his mouth turned upward in a half smile. “That
’s why I suggested we go somewhere to talk. My place is free of roommates,” he whispered in my ear. His breath was warm against my cheek; his smell flooded my senses from his closeness.

The little voice of reason was screaming from the back of my mind as his lips crept closer to mine.
 They hovered mere inches away, and I waited, wanting him to kiss me but the little voice got louder. I heard her.

“No,” I whispered, putting two fingers on his lips to stop him.
 “Not your place, I can’t go there.”

“And why not?” h
e asked, clearly irritated at my refusal.

“Because neutral territory would be best.
I need to keep a clear head, and…and your place…” My voice died off as I thought how I could best phrase my thoughts. 

He had the upper hand at his place. Hell, who was I kidding, he had the upper hand no matter where we were, but I felt trapped at his place.
 It was so far removed from everything; there was no escape. I needed to not feel so closed in. Seth studied my face, and I saw a storm brewing in his eyes when I looked at him.  

“Fine,”
 he said through clenched teeth. 

Taking me by the wrist, he led me to his car.
 I slid onto the seat without protest but didn’t make eye contact. We rode in silence, but I noticed the tight grip he kept on the steering wheel. The tension in his jaw could be seen as the headlights of passing cars briefly lit up his face. The longer we drove, the more nervous I got. I started paying attention to my surroundings, and it didn’t seem like he was taking me to his house so for that I did feel a little relieved.

 
However, not knowing where he was taking me still left me with an uneasy knot in my stomach. My phone started buzzing. I checked the caller ID, it was Macy. I sent it to voicemail. Less than a minute later, it started buzzing again.

“Aren
’t you going to answer?” Seth asked, looking over at me. 

Begrudgingly, I answered the call.

“Where the hell are you? Mal gets back saying he left you talking to some guy.”
 

I cringed as she yelled into the phone and sent a nervous glance towards Seth, hoping he didn
’t hear her.

“Macy, I
’m fine really. I’ll be home in a little while.” I was hoping that would appease her, but I knew better.

“It
’s him isn’t it? You just drop everything and take off with him. That’s fucked up, Lee!”
 

Great, just what I needed on top of everything, the wrath of Macy
. “I’m sorry, Macy. Really I am. Please, can we talk about it when I get home?”

“Yeah, whatever.”
 She hung up before I could say anything more. 

Dishearteningly, I shut off my phone, chewing on my bottom lip as I turned to continue looking out the window. Finally, he pulled into a parking lot.
 It was a park, a somewhat deserted park, but it was a public place. Seth helped me out of the car and held my hand as we quietly walked through the park until we reached a gazebo at the end of what looked to be a new walking trail. The flowers we passed looked freshly planted, and the mulch surrounding them had yet to be disturbed by the foot traffic or curious animals.

“Where are we?”

“My company made a donation to the City Park Association. This is one of the many projects around the city we’re helping with. Part of a beautification project. It doesn’t officially get dedicated until next week.” 

“I thought you said you didn
’t work.”

“No, I said I don
’t go there from nine to five. That doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s happening. It is my company.” 

With his hand still securely fastened around mine, he roughly pulled me towards him. His lips were crushing down on mine before I had a chance to react.
 He released my hand so that his were free to cup my ass, pressing me closer to him. On instinct, my hands fisted into his hair, holding him closer to me, I parted my lips to welcome his tongue into my mouth. I moaned as I felt the familiar heat spread through me, and I wrapped my leg around his, needing the closer contact. The kiss ended as quickly as it started when he abruptly broke away, leaving me breathless and wanting.

“Imagine my surprise when I show up to see you and find you with another man already.
 Who is he?” 

My brain was still scrambled from the kiss, and he had so quickly changed gears.
 I stood looking at him gathering, my senses trying to make my mouth work.

“A…a friend,”
 I stuttered.

“Nicknames, hand holding, that sounds like a very,
very
close friend.”  The back of his hand caressed my cheek as he looked at me with those stormy blue eyes. “So tell me, just how close of a friend is he?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not a hard question.” His voice was strained, almost as if he fought to control himself. 

His hand moved around and started a slow massage at the base of my neck. His fingers teasing the strands of my hair, I braced myself, waiting on his touch to turn angry.

“You left me, Seth,” I whispered, staring at his chest. 

He released me and started pacing around the gazebo.
“So that means you instantly take up with the next guy that comes along? You didn’t waste any time.” 

I felt the tightening in my chest, hearing his accusation.
 It was the same feeling I had on Saturday at the beach and then again on Monday after work. 

“You ignored me for nearly two weeks, and when you finally decide to talk to me again you are still assuming the worst of me.”

A soft breeze blew, and I felt goosebumps pepper my arms even with having on a jacket. I shivered, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the breeze or the cold look I was receiving from Seth. 

“You aren
’t leaving me many options.”

“Leaving you options?
 You walked out on me! I all but got on my knees apologizing for my behavior, and you walked out on me. I’ve been crying and stressing and worrying while you ignored me.” I choked down a sob, not wanting to show him just how much it hurt. Squeezing my eyes tight to keep the tears at bay, I took a slow, shaky breath before continuing. “You didn’t leave me any options.” 

Seth advanced towards me, and even with the low light of the gazebo, I could see the intensity of his eyes as he bore down on me.
 

“So after only a few days, you move on?”
 I couldn’t tell if that was sadness or anger in his voice. 

“I didn
’t just move on, but what am I to think? You didn’t call or answer my calls. Do you know how much that hurt? On top of thinking…” I caught myself turning my back to him. 

I could only deal with one issue at a time with him and that particular issue was a subject I didn
’t even want to rehash with him. Going there would surely be my unraveling. I shivered again, rubbing my arms to provide some level of warmth.

Seth
’s arms wrapped around me enveloping, me in his warmth, his scent, and sadly, despite it all, it felt good. I settled into his embrace wishing things didn’t have to be like this. Wishing he wasn’t like this. His warm breath caressed my cheek as he stood holding me yet saying nothing. 

“Seth, why did you walk out?
 Why did you just leave me like that?”

He tightened his arms around me; his thumb drew small circles on my wrists.
 We stood there like that for several minutes before he finally answered me.

“Because you don
’t want to be locked in my basement,” he answered with a flat tone.

 
I swiveled around in his arms. “Is that what would make you happy? You really want to lock me away from the world? Keep me hidden in your spooky house on the hill? Why?”

The corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile.
“Spooky house on the hill?”  I was slightly embarrassed I’d said the last part out loud. “But, yes keeping you all to myself would make me very happy.” 

I leaned into his touch as he cupped my cheek.
 It was crazy how his touch could bring me both comfort and fear.

“Oh, Seth, I thought I was the insecure one in this relationship,”
 I murmured while his fingers toyed with my hair.

“Baby, I
’m a lot of things, but insecure isn’t one of them.” The cockiness in his voice was unmistakable.

I was ashamed for even voicing such a ludicrous idea.
 

“I
’m a jealous and possessive man. All issues could easily be avoided if you remembered that and acted accordingly.”

Jealous and possessive, jealous and possessive.
 Act accordingly.
 Those words were on repeat in my head, trying to figure out what the hell he meant by them. Someone was only jealous or possessive if they cared, right? With his admission on Saturday, and now this, was he telling me in his own way he cared, that he felt something deeper for me? On the rare occasion I would talk to another guy in Paul’s presence, he never once appeared to notice or care. Looking back, I would guess he was too busy trying to keep his affairs secret. Seth, however, did notice and cared. His fingers gently massaged the nape of my neck as I continued to think over his words.

Resting his forehead on mine, he let his hand slide around, allowing his thumbs to stroke my cheeks while he gazed directly into my eyes.
 Gone was the anger I saw earlier, softened now with a look of need.

“Tell me who he is Calida.”
 

The question came out more as a heartfelt request instead of a demand.
 He voice was soft as he coaxed a response out of me.

“He
’s Macy’s brother,” I replied with a sigh. “He’s nothing more than a good friend. You know, like the big brother I never had.” 

Seth closed his eyes briefly while he absorbed the information. “But you were ready to let me think it was something deeper?”
 The accusation was clear in his tone and in the look he gave me when he opened his eyes before stepping away.

“I wasn
’t…”

“Yes, you were,”
 he said, cutting off my excuse. “When I first asked you who he was, you gave me an overly vague answer instead of saying what you just told me.” 

I said nothing to defend myself as he started pacing again.

“You…you’re right,” I stammered after a few minutes. “I was mad and hurt. You say, you imply all these things about me…so, so I let you believe what you wanted to believe because you are determined to…regardless of what I say, regardless of what you know about me.”

He stopped pacing to look at me, his face a mask of annoyance, and I came to the sad realization that nothing was likely to be accomplished tonight.
 

“You leave me and then just show back up demanding things and stupid me gives in,” I said quietly, mostly talking to myself.
 “My friend is pissed at me because you got mad and took off, and then I dropped everything when you decided to grace me with your fucking presence again. I look and feel like an idiot!” I continued to rant to myself, walking in circles around the gazebo.  “And why? Why do I do this to myself? Am I in love with you or in love with the idea of being in love? I thought I knew, but right now, it’s hard to know much of anything when it comes to you. Because when I think about it, I don’t know you Seth, not really,” I said, stopping to look at him this time.

I stopped and took a breath, wondering if I really wanted to get it all off my chest. His look was impassive, and I couldn
’t tell if he was still angry or if he even cared about anything I’d said. I ignored the nauseated feeling in my stomach and decided to push forward. I wanted to be different, I needed to be different. So, I needed to continue.

“I don
’t know if this inability to trust me comes from past relationships because you’ve never discussed those with me. Or maybe you didn’t have a happy home life, again something you don’t discuss with me. I have all these thoughts and emotions swirling around. I don’t know which way is up half the time with you. And being left as I was gave me plenty of time to think. And what I thought about is the fact that I don’t know you. How can I be with a man that I don’t know?”

Seth frowned and looked at me as if I
’d grown a second head. After a few minutes, he finally spoke. “You know what’s important.”

“Ugh!”
 I screamed, throwing my hands up in frustration. “That right there is what I’m talking about. I should trust in Macy’s instincts and…”

“Macy
’s instincts?” he asked, cutting me off. “What about your own instincts? Shouldn’t you trust in those?” 

I shook my head as I turned to admire the night.
 It was quiet with only the sounds of the crickets making music in the distance. No chatter of late night walkers could be heard, no dogs barked as they explored the trail. Even when I asked to be somewhere public, he still managed to isolate me.