Fiendish: A Twisted Fairytale (75 page)

“I miss your smile.” I jumped as I heard his voice behind me. “It is a radiant smile
, and I miss seeing it,” he continued, taking a seat next to me.

I tensed
, waiting on him to touch me, but he didn’t. I wrapped the blanket tighter around my body.

“Prisoners rarely have reason to smile while incarcerated,” I replied, keeping my eyes focused on the water.

I hated looking at him because I hated the conflicting emotions it caused.

“You aren
’t a prisoner, Calida. I wish you wouldn’t talk like that.”

Seth leaned closer to me
, releasing my hair from its ponytail. I sat motionless while he combed his fingers through it, making my hair cascade down around my shoulders.

“What would you like to do today?  We can take the boat and head into town for some shopping
, do some sightseeing. We can do whatever would make you happy.”

“I would like to go home.”

“Then, we’ll leave first thing tomorrow.”

He leaned over and gave me
a soft kiss on my shoulder. 

“Seth
, at some point, I have to actually go home, to
my
house,” I replied with a heavy sigh.

“Why?” he inquired,
continuing to his fingers through my hair.

“Because it
’s my home, my house. I miss it. I miss Macy. My life.” 

The well of tears never seemed to run dry as fresh ones silently started their journey down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away
, hoping he didn’t see them. 

“She will be expecting me home. What am I supposed to tell her? I can
’t just abandon my friend, even if it’s to spare her life.”

“
I’m not asking you to abandon your friend.”

“So, you’
ll let me go?” I asked, glancing over at him finally.

Seth sm
iled but said nothing. He stood up in front of me outstretching his hand. I placed my hand into his, and he quickly pulled me to my feet. The blanket I’d had for warmth fell from around my shoulders, landing soundlessly on the ground. I kept my eyes down, but I felt his warm fingers on my chin. I tried to resist the gentle pull he gave, but eventually I was forced to look at him and to see the softness in his eyes as he looked at me.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’
ll take you to see your friend, but I would like you to do one small thing for me.”

My heart was pounding as I waited to hear what he wanted.

“Kiss me,” he whispered.

I knew this moment would come around eventually, but that didn
’t make me any more prepared for it. He hadn’t tried anything sexual with me since that night, and for that, I was immensely thankful. My heart started racing. I hoped and prayed this wasn’t leading where I imagined it would. As much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t simply shut off those feelings that had developed over the past year. However, physically, I couldn’t bear the thought of willingly giving my body to his. Swallowing my fears, I stretched up on my toes to give him a quick peck on his cheek.

“Come now, you can do better than that.”

His hand moved up my back, coming to rest at the base of my neck. His fingers gently massaged and kneaded while his other hand tightened around my waist.

I pushed against his chest. “Seth
, please,” I begged softly.

“Kiss me, Calida.”
 His tone wasn’t harsh, but it was still a command.

My mouth felt dry
, and my heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could feel it from the sheer closeness of our bodies. Slowly my tongue ran across my bottom lip before I drew it into my mouth. I bit down on the corner of my lip trying, to work up the courage to press my mouth to his. Closing my eyes before taking a deep, shaky breath, I lifted my face and made light contact with his lips, but that was all he needed. The hand at the back of my neck kept my head in place allowing his mouth to dominate mine. His tongue expertly worked its way into my mouth, and for just a moment, I was able to forget where I was and how I ended up here. For a moment, things felt as they had before my life drastically changed almost a week ago. 

My mouth responded to his, seeking
the comfort of the familiarity. I felt his erection growing, and that moment slipped away. I pushed against his chest, trying to break free, but that only caused him to hold me tighter. He broke from the kiss, and the look on his face said it all. The lust and desire burned in his eyes. My arms went limp at my sides; I stopped fighting. I knew this day would come, and whether it was now or later, it wouldn’t make the outcome any more favorable. Seth took my hand and led me back inside the Nantucket style cottage. My steps faltered once we reached our bedroom. I wanted to beg him for mercy. I wanted to explain that I wasn’t ready for what he wanted, but my voice was lost. I was too scared to speak. Seth stopped to look at me; I know the worry and fear must have been evident on my face. He gave me an encouraging smile that did nothing to calm me.

The French doors were open
, allowing a gentle breeze to blow through our room, and an unobstructed sightline for the amazing view. The cottage sat in the center of the island, with the front of the house opening to a lush, green lawn. The grounds surrounding the house were beautifully manicured and cared for, although a thick forest of evergreen and pine trees blanketed the majority of the island. From the downstairs family room and the master bedroom, the outlook was of the gorgeous, shimmering, turquoise waters that stretched on for miles. The bed was situated so that one could lay there and enjoy that magnificent sight without having to get up. This place was paradise, and the view would give me something to focus on until he was finished. I stood there trying to let the peacefulness of the scene take over, hoping it could calm me in some way. It didn’t.

Without a word
, he pulled me farther into the room and started to undress me. Even though I wanted to scream no, to fight against what was about to happen, I didn’t. I only had to look at the fading bruises scattered down my arms to be reminded what fighting would cost me.

I couldn
’t look at him, but he stood so close his presence couldn’t be ignored. Seth’s deep, masculine scent surrounded me as his fingers trailed lightly down my arms. He took hold of the hem of my shirt, slowly lifting it over my head. The breeze blew against my now bare skin, peppering it with goose bumps. I drew in a sharp breath when Seth ran his hands up my body until he cupped my breasts. He ran his thumbs across my nipples, and they instantly became tight, little buds under his command. 

I balled my hands into fists at my side
, trying to endure his touch. Seth placed his fingers under my chin, turning my head so that I could look at him. The tears I’d tried to hold back spilled down my cheeks.

“I
’m sorry,” I mumbled, wiping them away quickly, but they were replaced by new ones.

He leaned forward and kissed them away while his hands moved down the length of my body
until they rested on the waistband of my shorts.

“Please don
’t,” I whispered.

“I don
’t want you to be scared of me, Calida.” He sounded almost sincere in his statement, but it was a lie. 

“I don
’t see how that will be avoidable. You do scare me; I am so very terrified of who you are. Of what you do.” 

I wrapped my arms protectively around my body
, attempting to stop the trembling that had started.

“I have a dark side
, Calida. We all do, but that doesn’t change who I am. I’m still the same man you fell in love with; nothing’s changed. You are confused right now, and it’s understandable, but your body and heart knows what it wants. Your head just needs to catch up. Stop over thinking it; close your mind off and just feel.” Seth’s voice was calm. He spoke as if doing those things were easy for me.

“How can you say nothing
’s changed?” I shrieked. “Everything has changed, Seth! Nothing will ever be the same. I can’t just stop thinking. God, how I wish I could stop thinking, and remembering, and imagining, but I can’t. When I close my eyes, all I see is that place. My mind takes over, speculating on what you’ve done and how many there have been. I want it to stop, but it won’t! And I feel plenty right now. I’m scared, more scared than I ever have been in my life. I’m hurt, and confused, and ashamed, and I want this, all of it to not be real, but it is. I don’t want to think, and I don’t want to feel. I…just…want…to…forget.”

Seth stood silently watching me while I hugged my body tighter. True, I was scared about the possibilities of the things he could have done, but I was more scared over the fact that he was so unmoved by his actions. I worried about what his uncaring attitude truly meant for me and those I cared about.

“I won’t hurt you,” he said softly, pulling me towards him.

“How can you not see that you already have?” I whispered.

I didn’t want to listen to him. His lies were wrapped up in pretty packages that I no longer wanted to unwrap. He saw me as his property and had branded me accordingly. Seth turned and walked into the bathroom. He returned a moment later and wrapped a towel around me then reached under it to remove my shorts and panties. Slowly he leaned forward to kiss me, keeping a small amount of space between our bodies.

“Come,” he said
, holding his hand out to me.

I was confused as to what was happening. I thought for certain he was about to force himself on me. I gave him a questioning look, but I reluctantly placed my hand in his
, allowing him to lead me out of the room.

“You
’re tense, and you need to relax,” he said, answering my unspoken question.

He opened a door to what I had believed was a storage room. I hadn
’t explored the house, so there were rooms I hadn’t seen or cared to see. I cautiously stepped inside to see a table in the middle of the room. It had no windows but candles were lit all around gave it a low, relaxing glow. The calming scent of lavender filled the space, and I inhaled deeply as it was one of my favorite smells.

***

I stepped in after Calida, closing the door quietly behind me. I could still see the apprehension on her face, and I wanted to do something to make that look go away.

“I don
’t want you to be scared of me,” I reiterated.

Calida jumped when my hands made contact with her shoulders. Her entire body got tense
, and I got that same brief flash of anger that was growing more intense each time she jumped or flinched when I touched her.

“Take off the towel then get
on the table,” I said my tone harsh.

She turned to glance over her shoulder at me, and I could see she didn
’t want to comply. I moved to get the oils ready, and when I turned back around, she was lying face down on the table with her eyes closed. Her arms were tucked tightly at her sides to hide her breasts from my view; her legs were pressed together and crossed at the ankle. I took a moment to enjoy the sight of her, even with her body tense and braced for impact, she was a beautiful specimen to gaze upon. I grabbed a towel off the shelf to cover her derriere in hopes that it would help her feel more comfortable.

Leaning forward
, I moved her hair to the side. “I want you to be comfortable, Cara Mia. Relax, this is simply a massage, nothing more,” I whispered before placing a tender kiss on her shoulder.

I picked up the remote to turn on the iPod I had filled with comforting compositions by Chopin. The music fill
ed the room. Although it wasn’t as relaxing as actually playing, hearing the notes did help to relax me.

Pouring a dime sized amount of the warmed lavender oil in my hands, I rubbed them together before beginning her massage. Calida jumped at the first contact, but I tried not to let that bother me. Slowly
, I began with her right foot as she lay, trying not to move or react. Using my thumbs, I applied soft pressure to the sole of her foot, working in tiny circles from the heel up to her toes.

My fingers worked in rhythm with the music; I took my time working and kneading her foot until I heard the faintest of sighs escape her lips. I smiled. She tensed again when I spread her legs slightly to allow me the room I needed to work her calf. Her calves were well toned from her running, and I took the opportunity to admire their shapeliness while I held them in my hands.

Her muscles were tense, so I increased the pressure until I felt them loosen under my touch. The song changed as I made my way up her leg, and I was pleased when she didn’t flinch. I wanted to talk to her, to explain that she had nothing to worry about, to let her know that our life wasn’t any different than before. I remained silent. She needed this quiet moment of comfort more than I needed to make her see reason.

I hated seeing her so distraught, but she had to work through her conflicted feelings on her own. When she looked at me, I saw she wanted to hate me,
but she didn’t. I believed that fact troubled her more than knowing who I really was.