Fiendish Play (30 page)

How did I miss all this? How did I block it out the way I did?

“James! Are you alright? Why did you drop the gun?” The blond woman grabbed at my back, but I stood, not able to move because my mind was on warp speed playing catch-up. Air goes in. Air goes out. Blood pumps to the heart to give you life.
But what if you don’t have a heart anymore?

“James,” she said urgently again.

Byron’s voice emerged from the shadows. “He’s remembered.”

He had always known this moment would come. When it all came rushing back. But he was betting it would be after I completed initiation. He probably planned to tell me himself. Savor the experience. Have a front row ticket to my own soul’s demolition.

“Remembered what?” The blond was getting more frantic as the minutes went by, her head going back and forth from me to Byron. “Fuck! What did you give him?”

Her nails dug through my shirt and into my skin. If it was painful, I didn’t know. I felt numb.

Another shot was fired. This time it was the blond woman who fired into the ceiling, making sure no one would get close. She quickly ran in front of me, picking up the gun I had dropped to the floor and pushing it into her jeans. She grabbed my wrist and dragged me from the room and from the world I knew that I’d spent years running from with my parents. Anais must have pieced it together too. That’s why they kept her from me. She was trying to save me from the biggest mistake of my life.

I don’t know what happened next.

Was I running? Yes.

Was I being pushed into a van? Yes.

Did I know who I was and what I was capable of? No.

The world was spinning. It’s not every day you find out that everything you thought you believed in is a lie. That the Lappell is part of my pain...my history...my father. And my parents. They were part of it too. And my hands...they had known violence and had kept it secret. Them, and my mother and step-dad. All working together. All keeping me from something I was never supposed to feel or know. I had so many questions to go with all these answers. The only way I could find a way out of this pit of despair was to get the truth. Like it was the only mission I had left. My quest. My pursuit. My hunt. My crusade. To get facts, not fiction. To find out if I was still me...somewhere on the inside. Not a just a hidden secret who had murdered a man when I was six years old.

“Who are you? And tell me the truth. No more lies.” A different kind of voice was heard from me. A voice that was beyond anger, and rage, and being overwhelmed by deception. A voice that was close to losing control, but quietly needing to get answers. The only voice I had left.

“I’m Delia Weston. I’m your aunty.”

“Aunty?”

“Your step-dad’s sister.”

“My step-dad doesn’t have a sister.”

Delia gave me a ‘why-would-I-lie-to-you-right-now?’ look.

My step-dad does have a sister.
That explains why she looks so much like Margot. My sister had inherited this older woman’s beauty.

Then the next blow. She had said her last name was Weston. Did that mean my step-dad was a Weston too?

“What’s my step-dad’s real name?”

The blond sighed. I don’t think she wanted to do this here...now...with me in this van. But given what had just happened back in the ceremony space, I didn’t leave her any options. I was out for blood. Viciously seeking what I should have always known.

“His real name is Clint Weston. And your mother’s real name is Norah Rossi. But this will all be explained to you later James. In great detail. It’s a bigger story than I have time to tell you right now. I’m just here to save you.”

“Where are you taking me?”

Delia swallowed, not giving me an answer. I was sick of not getting answers to questions I deserved answers to. Enough was enough. “Tell me the fucking truth. Where are you taking me Delia-Weston-who-says-she’s-my-aunty!”

She closed her eyes as the next words tumbled from her lips. “To see your Dad.”

“Have my mother and father arrived from France? Do you work for them?”

“No James. I’m not taking to see your Mom and my brother. I’m taking you to see your ...” she paused, “biological father.”

Biological father? What?

LIES. FUCKING LIES.

“My real father is dead,” I stated matter-of-factly.

“No,” she breathed out. “He’s not dead James. He’s very much alive.”

“What are you talking about? He died in my mother’s arms, in a car accident before I was born. He can’t be alive. It’s not possible.”

“That’s one version of the story James. Another was that he was shot by the Lappell while he and your mother were trying to run away, and when he passed out from loss of blood in your mother’s arms, she believed he was dead, but when he was taken away, long after your mother fled, it was discovered he was still alive. Barely...but he got to a doctor just in time. I should know. I was there when the doctor worked on him and saved his life.”

It was like my whole world had stopped. Everything shifted off its axis. In this tiny car, with this strange woman who claimed she was my aunty, telling me something I never believed possible. “But...but...” I tried to make sense of it all. Tried to see her lies. What would she gain from telling me such a story that would reach in and crush my insides? You can’t do this to someone after twenty-one years. You just can’t.

I was breaking. Really truly emotional breaking from some kind of pain in my gut. I just couldn’t believe anymore of this so-called truth. It was too much. Too unbelievable. It had to be wrong.

“No...No. It’s not possible. All this time...my whole life. No, I don’t believe you. My mother wouldn’t lie to me. Not about that. I watched her grieve. She still grieves to this day. She told me he died. I believe her. She would never keep something like this from me. You’re wrong. You must be wrong. You’re telling me lies.”

Delia had glassy eyes now, feeling my pain, and knowing what she was saying would mean to me. She felt sorry for me. I could see it. Sensed it. It radiated off her, unhidden. “James,” she said softly, full of compassion, “your mother didn’t lie to you.” She paused, and then looked like this was going to be the hardest thing she ever had to say to someone. “Your Mo
m
doesn’t know he’s alive.”

{26}

Mummy and Daddy were asleep in the hospital room. I had fallen asleep on Daddy’s chest, but now I was awake and hungry. I crawled off Daddy’s chest and took some coins from his pocket. He looked so peaceful on the couch in Mummy’s room. They were happy they had a private room for them and the baby. I wanted to go home, but Daddy said we couldn’t because we had a new home to go to now. I was sad because I left all my toys back at our house and couldn’t bring any of them. At least I had Mr. Bear with me.

There was no one in the hospital’s halls when I stepped out of Mommy’s room. No nurses or doctors or people. It must have been really late. I wasn’t supposed to leave the room, but I remembered I saw a candy machine in the hallway and I really wanted a chocolate. I wouldn’t be away long. Mommy and Daddy would never know.

I slowly crept out into the hall holding onto the coins tightly in my fist. I suddenly didn’t like how quiet it was. I felt a little frightened. The shadows from the lights scared me. I wanted to run and get the chocolate and go straight back to the room. When I got to the candy machine, I realized I couldn’t get to the slot for the money. It was out of my reach. I could only stare into machine at the chocolate. My tummy growled.

“Do you need some help little man?”

I turned around and saw a tall guy staring down at me. I jumped back in surprise. I didn’t know he was there.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He knelt down on the floor. “You just looked like you need some help with the candy machine.”

The man had a nice face for a stranger. I liked him right away. I stepped forward, not feeling scared anymore. He wanted to help.

“I can’t reach the money slot,” I said quietly.

The tall man reached into his own pocket and retrieved some coins, popping them in one by one into the machine. “Which one would you like?” he asked.

I smiled hopefully. I was going to get my chocolate. “The chocolate Eruption Bar please.”

He made a bit of a laughing sound, but it wasn’t loud enough to be a laugh. “That’s a big candy bar,” he said pushing the buttons. “Are you sure you’re allowed to eat that much chocolate at this time of night?”

“Are you going to tell on me?” I instantly asked. The jig was up. He would tell Mommy and Daddy what I was doing. I knew I wasn’t allowed to eat chocolate this time of night. He must have known about those rules too.

“No...I won’t tell on you. Let’s make it our little secret, alright?”

I nodded enthusiastically at the strange man who I kind of liked. He was friendly. Nice. Helpful.

We took a seat together on some chairs in the hallway. He helped me open up the wrapper and I dug into the chocolate right away.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“My name’s James,” I said with a mouthful of chocolate. A little bit flying out as I spoke. He grinned at me.

“That’s a good name. So James, where are your parents?”

“They’re in the room down the hall. They’re asleep. My Mommy had a baby today.”

The man shifted on his chair. “Oh,” he swallowed. “That must be exciting for you?”

“I guess,” I said shrugging my shoulders. “It’s a girl. They called her Margot. She’s alright. But I can’t play with her yet. She’s too small.”

“She’ll get big soon,” he said staring out in the space in front of him. He looked suddenly sad.

“Are you visiting someone here too?” I asked him. Maybe I could help.

He nodded. “Yes, my son. He’s here at the hospital. I’m just here to watch over him and make sure he’s doing okay.”

“Is he going to be alright?”

“I think so. He’s a strong little boy.”

“That’s good. Maybe when he gets better I can play with him?”

“Hmmm, yeah...maybe...”

He kind of reminded me of my Daddy in how he seemed so protective.

“It’s good you’re here to watch over him,” I said.

“I’ll never stop watching over him.”

What a loving Daddy. And he can keep secrets. Maybe we could be friends.

“What’s your name?” I asked. I had forgotten my manners. I should have asked a lot sooner. Mommy would be upset I forgot. I guess I was thinking too much about the chocolate.

“My name’s Joshua.”

“Hey, my middle name is Joshua!” I looked at his big bright eyes. “And we both have green eyes too. My Mommy says green eyes are her favorite.”

The man’s body got very stiff. “Does she?” He looked really sad then. Even more than before. “Perhaps that’s because you are so special to her James.”

“No,” I said taking yet another bite of my big chocolate bar. “She says it’s because she misses my real Daddy. He died before I was born. She stares at me sometimes and cries. She says it’s because I look so much like him. I know she really loved him. That was before she married my new Daddy. But sometimes she cries when she thinks no one can see her. But I do. I always see her.”

The man went really quiet. Maybe he was thinking about his son in the hospital. He looked like how Mommy’s face gets before she cries. I finished my chocolate bar and climbed off the chair, but as I did, I tripped and almost fell face flat onto the floor. The man called Joshua reached out and grabbed me before I could slip.

“I’ve got you,” he said, holding me close, almost in a hug.

“Thank you,” I said as he helped to steady my feet. “Thanks for saving me.”

He laughed softly. “I’m glad I was here to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself,” he whispered.

He was kneeling now, looking right into my green eyes that were the same color as his. His hand lightly brushed through my hair and pat my back. “There you go,” he said, getting to his feet. “Safe and sound.”

He moved closer like he was about to hug me, but instead he held out his hand. “It was nice...” his voice cracked a bit, “to meet you James.” I shook his hand back. My Daddy had taught me that it was important for a man to have a nice firm handshake. I tried to shake it the same way that Daddy had shown me. “And don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone about the candy bar.”

“Thanks Joshua. You’re a really nice man. And thanks for keeping my secret.”

“No problem son. But you should probably get back to your parents now. If they wake up and see you’re not with them, they’ll be very worried.”

I nodded, agreeing with Joshua. I quickly darted down the corridor back to my Mommy’s room door. I stopped and turned to wave goodbye to the nice man, but when I looked again, he was gone.

I guess he had to go back to watching over his son.

TO BE CONTINUED...

AUTHOR NOTE

Fiendish Play is part of a two book series. The second book should be released late 2014. I want to say thank you to my friends, readers and blog supporters who have continued to stay on this journey with me. You all share a place in my heart and I’m always grateful for the emails and supportive comments. Thank you for continuing to spread the word about my stories.

To those readers who have read the PIECES OF LIES trilogy, you are probably wondering if I had planned this while I wrote the third book in that series ‘All the Pieces.’ The truth is that when I wrote ‘All The Pieces,’ I actually wrote two alternate endings stemming from the chapter with the car chase. I struggled for a long time about which ending and epilogue I was going to use. In the end I went with what I felt was right for that series. But when I decided to do James’s story, it allowed me to revisit the other storyline I had penned for that series. Now with James, I have been able to do both. As to how I’m going to end his story and the other characters in Fiendish Play...well...I’m still deciding.