Fifty Shades of Ecstasy (5 page)

Stay on course with this tandem sex scheme and you’ll be sure to reach uncharted peaks!

D
IRTY
D
ANCING

He takes the lead in this position while she dances along.

Kneeling on a sofa, he carries her in his arms the way Baby carried a watermelon. Her back should be arched over the top of the sofa, while he cradles her lower back and hips against his pelvis. Extended upwards, her legs should comfortably rest against his chest, so that her feet are just above his head. The back of the chair will keep her steady and her hips high so he can use his best thrusting muscles against her. If she holds on tight, he can use a free hand to rub her clitoris, tease her nipples or run his hands through her hair. Keeping her legs straight and together will keep things nice and tight for both partners.

This one is a fun way to perch or be perched on top of the sofa—just make sure you don’t tip over.

T
HE
Y
IN
Y
ANG

Taoist philosophy expresses
yinyáng
as the interconnection of seeming polar opposites. Whether it’s dark and light, water and fire, or male and female—one can only exist as long as the other does as well. This position embraces the oneness of two bodies, and the happy circumstance that this unity happens to be in the form of oral sex.

While 69ing can happen almost anywhere, this version is best suited on a comfortable but sturdy chair. He sits upside down in the chair, facing up. His legs should be bent, with his feet resting on the seat back. She hovers over him, straddling just above his head so that he is in range of a nice clitoral make-out sesh, but not so much that he’s being completely smothered. She should lean over him, hugging his upper thighs to stabilize herself while she performs fellatio. Both partners have free hands for extra stimulation, whether he rubs her clitoris or caresses her bum, or she uses a hand on his shaft or plays with his balls. This angle is easy for her to perform, while the rush of blood to his head will be a whole new sensation for him.

The Yin Yang embrace is an intimate form of 69ing that leaves both partners completely satisfied.

P
OWERED
U
P

Since the dawn of earthquakes, fat trimmers, and battery operated anything, vibrations have only meant good things for sex. Whether you purchase a fancy vibrator from a sex shop, or use the hand-held massager you already own for your “back problems,” revving up your sex time is sure to send you both quaking.

While vibrators can be used in almost any position, this one is particularly fun for her. He lies down on the bed, and she asserts herself squarely on top of him, facing away. As she rides him, he gets a great view of her ass, and she gets to play with a new toy! Both partners can take turns stimulating her clitoris with the vibrator—the simultaneous vibration against her lady bits and the feeling of his penis inside her will send her over the edge—probably a couple of times!

“Let those love now
who never loved
before; Let those who always loved,
now love the more.
”

—Thomas Parnell

Remember to share, though! The vibrator can be just as stimulating for him, whether it’s secondhand buzzing as it rubs up against her, or as she presses it lightly against his balls and along his perineum (the space between his scrotum and his back end).

This reverse-cowgirl take on playing with toys is a great way to get you both going. Just make sure to stock up on batteries!

G
OING
B
ALLISTIC
!

There’s something mesmerizing about watching a bouncy ball take off around a room. And like all mesmerizing things, the obvious next step is to try and have sex on it.

He should sit firmly on top of a large exercise ball. Well done! That’s the easy part. Whether she starts off with her hands on the ground and extends her legs back, or by straddling him face-out and then rolling forward on to her arms, she should be facing away, cowgirl style, with her hips aimed toward the ground. Her palms should rest on the ground so that her stomach is parallel to the floor, and her tush is in prime grasping position in front of him. She should keep her arms straight, but not locked—bouncy sex is all fun and games until someone dislocates an elbow.

Though the exercise ball may seem like an unreliable prop that meanders on its own accord, try and remember Newton’s [Sexified] Third Law: Every sexy action has an equal and opposite sexy reaction. In other words, when the ball bounces, those having sex on the ball also bounce. As long as you don’t try and fight the direction of all that boinging, this position will have you both springing in the orgasms.

“One
kind kiss
before we part,
Drop a tear
and bid adieu; Though we sever, my fond heart Till we meet shall
pant
for you.”