Fifty Shades of Grey (29 page)

“No, Kate, we don’t make love – we fuck – Christian’s terminology. He doesn’t do the love thing.”

“I knew there was something weird about him. He has commitment issues.”

I nod, as if in agreement. Inwardly, I pine. Oh Kate... I wish I could tell you everything, everything about this strange, sad, kinky guy, and you could tell me to forget about him. Stop me from being a fool.

“I guess it’s all a little overwhelming,” I murmur.
That’s the understatement of the
year.
Because I don’t want to talk about Christian any more, I ask her about Elliot. Katherine’s whole demeanor changes at the mere mention of his name, she lights up from within, beaming at me.

“He’s coming over early Saturday to help load up.” She hugs the hairbrush, boy has she got it bad, and I feel a familiar faint stab of envy. Kate has found herself a normal man, and she looks so happy.

I turn and hug her.

“Oh, I meant to say. Your dad called while you were… err, occupied. Apparently Bob has sustained some injury, so your mom and he can’t make graduation. But your dad will be here Thursday. He wants you to call.”

“Oh... my mom never called me. Is Bob okay?”

“Yes. Call her in the morning. It’s late now.”

“Thanks, Kate. I’m okay now. I’ll call Ray in the morning too. I think I’ll just turn in.” She smiles, but her eyes crinkle at the corners with concern.

After she’s gone, I sit and read the contract again, making more notes as I go. When I’ve finished, I fire up the laptop, ready to respond.

There’s an email from Christian in my inbox.

From:
Christian Grey

Subject:
This evening

Date:
May 23 2011 23:16

To:
Anastasia Steele

Miss Steele

I look forward to receiving your notes on the contract.

Until then, sleep well baby.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

From:
Anastasia Steele

Subject:
Issues

Date:
May 24 2011 00:02

To:
Christian Grey

Dear Mr. Grey

Here is my list of issues. I look forward to discussing them more fully at dinner on Wednesday.

The numbers refer to clauses:

2: Not sure why this is solely for MY benefit – ie to explore MY sensuality and limits. I’m sure I wouldn’t need a ten-page contract to do that! Surely this is for YOUR benefit.

4: As you are aware you are my only sexual partner. I don’t take drugs, and I’ve not had any blood transfusions. I’m probably safe. What about you?

8: I can terminate at any time if I don’t think you’re sticking to the agreed limits. Okay – I like this.

9: Obey you in all things? Accept without hesitation your discipline? We need to talk about this.

11: One month trial period. Not three.

12: I cannot commit every weekend. I do have a life, or will have. Perhaps three out of four?

15.2: Using my body as you see fit sexually or otherwise – please define “or otherwise.”

15.5: This whole discipline clause. I’m not sure I want to be whipped, flogged, or corporally punished. I am sure this would be in breach of clauses 2-5. And also “for any other reason”. That’s just mean – and you told me you weren’t a sadist.

15.10: Like loaning me out to someone else would ever be an option. But I’m glad it’s here in black and white.

15.14: The Rules. More on those later.

15.19: Touching myself without your permission. What’s the problem with this? You know I don’t do it anyway.

15.21: Discipline – Please see clause 15.5 above.

15.22: I can’t look into your eyes? Why?

15.24: Why can’t I touch you?

Rules:

Sleep – I’ll agree to 6 hours. Food – I am not eating food from a prescribed list. The food list goes or I do – Deal breaker. Clothes – as long as I only have to wear your clothes when I’m with you... okay. Exercise – We agreed 3 hours, this still says 4.

Soft Limits:

Can we go through all of these? No Fisting of any kind. What is suspension? Genital Clamps – you have got to be kidding me.

Can you please let me know the arrangements for Wednesday? I am working until 5pm that day.

Good night.

Ana

From:
Christian Grey

Subject:
This evening

Date:
May 24 2011 00:07

To:
Anastasia Steele

Miss Steele

That’s a long list. Why are you still up?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

From:
Anastasia Steele

Subject:
Burning the midnight oil

Date:
May 24 2011 00:10

To:
Christian Grey

Sir

If you recall I was going through this list, when I was distracted and bedded by a passing control freak.

Goodnight.

Ana

From:
Christian Grey

Subject:
Stop Burning the midnight oil

Date:
May 24 2011 00:12

To:
Anastasia Steele

GO TO BED ANASTASIA.

Christian Grey

CEO & Control Freak, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

Oh… shouty capitals!
I switch off. How can he intimidate me when he’s six miles away?

I shake my head. My heart still heavy, I climb into bed and fall instantly into a deep but troubled sleep.

The following day, I call my mom when I’m home from work. It’s been a relatively peaceful day at the Clayton’s, allowing me far too much time to think. I’m restless, nervous about my showdown with Mr. Control Freak tomorrow, and at the back of my mind, I’m worried that perhaps I’ve been too negative in my response to the contract. Perhaps he’ll call the whole thing off.

My mom is oozing contrition, desperately sorry not to make my graduation. Bob has twisted some ligament which means he’s hobbling all over the place. Honestly, he’s as accident-prone as I am. He’s expected to make a full recovery, but it means he’s resting up, and my mother has to wait on him hand and sore foot.

“Ana honey, I’m so sorry,” my mom whines down the phone.

“Mom, it’s fine. Ray will be there.”

“Ana, you sound distracted – are you okay, baby?”

“Yes, Mom,”
Oh if only you knew.
There’s an obscenely rich guy I’ve met and he wants some kind of strange kinky sexual relationship, in which I don’t get a say in things.

“Have you met someone?”

“No, Mom.” I am so not going there right now.

“Well, darling, I’ll be thinking of you on Thursday. I love you… you know that honey?”I close my eyes, her precious words give me a warm glow inside.

“Love you too, Mom. Say hi to Bob, and I hope he gets better fast.”

“Will do, honey. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I have strayed into my bedroom with the phone. Idly, I switch the mean machine on and fire up the email program. There’s an email from Christian from late last night or very early this morning, depending on your point of view. My heart rate spikes instantly, and I hear the blood pumping in my ears. Holy crap… perhaps he’s said no – that’s it – maybe he’s canceling dinner. The thought is so painful. I dismiss it quickly and open the email.

From:
Christian Grey

Subject:
Your Issues

Date:
May 24 2011 01:27

To:
Anastasia Steele

Dear Miss Steele

Following my more thorough examination of your issues, may I bring to your attention the definition of submissive.

submissive
[s
uhb
-
mis
-iv] –
adjective
1.
inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient:
submissive servants.

2.
marked by or indicating submission:
a submissive reply.

Origin:
1580–90; submiss + -ive

Synonyms: 1.
tractable, compliant, pliant, amenable.
2.
passive, resigned, patient, docile, tame, subdued.
Antonyms: 1.
rebellious, disobedient.