Fighting for Infinity (12 page)

WEIGHT OF HER WORLD

Maryah

I finished showering and stepped out of the bathroom, towel drying my hair. Nathan stood on the balcony staring out at the night sky. The door was open, so I snuck up behind him, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head against his strong back. He already carried centuries of pain and worry, and without
meaning to, I kept adding more. I prayed he wouldn’t break under the weight of it all.

He turned to hold me in his arms. I breathed in his nectar-of-the-gods scent and
from the deepest trenches of my memory came a deluge of déjà vu. Skin tingling, sheets rustling, the sensation of being blissfully sated, body and soul. My guttural sigh brought me back to the present.

In a perfect world, I could stay wrapped up in him forever, but our life was far from perfect. “My time is almost up. I promised Rina no more than two hours.”

Nathan lifted my chin. The stars shone behind him, but they dulled in comparison to the love in his eyes. “When will you be back?”

“I’m not sure. We didn’t discuss that yet. This was a test. Hopefully she’ll let me leave more frequently.” An all too familiar wave of pain spread up the back of my neck. The beginning of a headache. I didn’t want to worry Nathan even more, so I did my best to ignore it.

“What if Dedrick finds out you’re able to travel?”

“We have to make sure he doesn’t.”

“I hate that you’re enduring this type of stress and danger.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I wish I could believe that.” He stroked my face while looking at me with so much worry it made me wish I could erase emotions instead of memories. “Find out where you are. That’s crucial. If we know where he’s keeping Rina, we can rescue her.”

“I have a feeling Dedrick has that place well-guarded. Wherever it is.”

“We will get her out.” He sounded so confident. “Just do your best to find out where it is. Pay attention to details, even the smallest ones.”

“I will, but not much happens unless someone visits.”

“Visits?”

I stayed focused on the facts instead of my brewing migraine. “So far there’s a woman, Evelyn, who brings Rina meals and is sort of a mother figure to her, but her eyes are snakelike so she’s being controlled. Dedrick has also brought in Lexie, the mind reader, and River.”

Nathan’s biceps and forearms flexed as he scowled. “River?”

“Don’t worry. He never stays long, and I don’t believe a word he says. He claims Dedrick is keeping him locked up too. Dedrick wants me to believe he’s protecting me from River, but they’re probably working together.”

“I don’t like this, Maryah. What if River tries to kill you again?”

Despite my headache, I grinned. “Nathan, he can’t kill me if I’m not in my body.”

Nathan blinked rapidly, as if that fact had momentarily escaped him. “Right, but still. Be careful. Dedrick is a master manipulator. Be on high alert for any way he could be deceiving you or using someone against you. Especially River.”

“I’m alert as can be.”

Nathan’s Adam’s apple bobbed as worry lines framed his mouth. “Louise swears she saw no negativity in Rina’s aura, but I’m suspicious of her as well. Dedrick leaves you alone with her for long stretches of time. He must have a reason, and I suspect that reason is so you’ll become friends with her.”

“I’d know if she were up to something, but she’s not.” I was surprised to hear the lie tumble so easily from my lips. I was confused by Rina’s words and questioned her intentions almost every time she spoke, but I couldn’t worry Nathan or the rest of our kindrily. Deep down, I really believed Rina had a good heart, but my instincts also screamed that she was hiding something big.

A shooting pain forced me to squeeze my eyes shut. I was looking forward to checking out of my body again. The pain had spread behind my ears, which meant this headache would be a bad one.

“What’s wrong?” Nathan asked. He leaned so close his minty breath cooled my cheek. “Is it a headache?”

I tried acting like it was no big deal. “Good timing. At least I won’t be in my body to suffer through it.”

“I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.”

“Trust me. It’s good.”

“Please be careful,” Nathan said, concern dripping from his voice. “Don’t share any information about us with Rina. Don’t give her anything she could use against you later.”

I almost told Nathan about my fear that she’d travel to my body and never return to her own. That she’d realize she could break free forever by living as me, but if I expressed that possibility out loud, he’d never support me going back. And I wouldn’t blame him.

“I’ll be careful,” I promised.

“Maryah.” His next words were laced with sadness. “We need to discuss a lot about our past, but I’m not sure where to start.”

My two hours were up, and my headache was getting worse. “We’ll discuss everything, but it has to wait. I can’t break my promise to Rina the first time she let me out.”

He somberly nodded, holding my hand as we walked inside. I crawled into bed, and he leaned over me, kissing me with such tenderness that it almost made me change my mind about leaving him. “I love you. Come home soon.”

His worried green eyes were the last thing I saw before I closed my own and focused on the cords of
light that would return me to Rina.

∞

Rina sat up on her bed, brushing her hair out of her face. “You came back.”

“I promised you I would.”

“People have promised me a lot of things that weren’t true.”

“I’m not one of those people.”

She smirked. “That’s refreshing to know.”

“We’re safe, right? Dedrick didn’t stop by while I was gone?”

“No one visited except Manny.”

“Who?”

She gathered her hair and draped it over one shoulder. Her mouse poked its head out from behind her neck. “Manny the mouse.”

“Ah, I didn’t realize he had a name.”

“I assume your trip was a success?” Rina asked. “You look happier.”

“As successful as it could be in such a short time. I feel stronger, better. I feel
less lost and desperate.”

Rina crossed her legs and picked at the dirty, frayed cuff of her pants. “So what now?”

“When do you think Evelyn will visit again?”

“I’m never sure. She visits whenever she can.”

“Ask her if Dedrick will be visiting anytime soon. If not, I’d like to astral travel again so I can see what he’s up to. I also plan on figuring out where we are.”

She perked up. “I like that plan.”

I wasn’t sure whether I was relieved or worried that Rina liked my plan. “I’ve been thinking. Dedrick knows you’re a conductor, so wouldn’t he worry that you would use my power to astral travel?”

“He believes I can conduct, but not use anyone’s power as my own. I need it to stay that way.”

“That’s an awfully big secret to keep hidden from Dedrick for so many years.”

A mischievous grin cracked her dry lips. “I’ve kept much bigger.”

“Will I ever get let in on all of your big secrets?”

“I tell you what you need to know when you need to know it.” She had barely finished her last word when the candle snuffed out, leaving us both in the dark.

TELLING IT ON THE MOUNTAIN

Maryah

Conveniently,
as if on cue, Evelyn visited.

Evelyn told Rina that Dedrick had been gone since yesterday and he wasn’t scheduled back until tomorrow. She didn’t ask Rina why she wanted information on his whereabouts or what she was planning, which seemed suspicious.

Then again, maybe Evelyn wasn’t worried because Dedrick wasn’t around to catch Rina doing anything wrong. I was so back and forth on who and what to trust. It’s like my instincts were short-circuiting and giving me no strong indicator either way.

After Evelyn left us, Rina offered to let me travel without me even asking. It seemed too easy. She was almost too eager. I would spy on Dedrick just like I said, but maybe I also needed to spy on Rina.

I focused on Dedrick’s morally dead eyes, cringing at first, but then giving into the flow of energy connecting me to him. Like being pulled along by a current, I rushed through a tunnel of light until it dumped me into the cesspool of Dedrick’s energy.

We were outside at what appeared to be the base of a mountain. No one else was around. Dedrick’s hair was pulled back in a ponytail, whipping against the hood of his heavy coat due to the wind. I couldn’t feel temperature in soul form, but based on the snow on the ground and Dedrick’s heavy clothes and boots, I would have guessed he was hiking through Alaska or somewhere just as cold and remote.

He walked for a long time. The only sound he made was a sniffle of his runny nose.

“What in the world are you doing out here?” Even though I whispered the question, I worried he might hear me. I couldn’t assume anything about what he could or couldn’t do.

He reached a place I wouldn’t have recognized as much different from the rest of the ground he had been trekking across, except that he fell to his knees, pressed his hands and forehead to the snow and chanted. He repeated the process so many times I lost count.

He lifted his face and palms skyward and then—I couldn’t believe it—he unzipped his coat and removed it, followed by his sweater and thermal shirt.

I glanced away, repulsed by the sight of his hairy chest. The last person in the world I wanted to see half naked was Dedrick, but I had to look again because scars and cuts covered his arms, chest, and stomach.

He started reciting prayers about guidance and enlightenment. Every deity in the universe was probably laughing at the irony.

Finishing his prayer, he said, “I have completed my one hundred and seventh circle of your sacred temple. Please accept this as a demonstration of my loyalty.”

He pulled something out of his pocket that looked like a curved blade made from ivory or—I hated considering the possibility—bone. Without even flinching or showing any discomfort at all, he cut a deep gash into a non-scarred area of his stomach. “My next and final lap will complete my pledge. I shall be a vessel for you to fill with your power.”

His blood dripped onto the snow as he shivered and spoke to the sky. I knew he was a sicko, but this was too much. I’d heard rumors about a few kids being cutters in school, but self-mutilation as part of a spiritual ritual was a whole new level of crazy.

Dedrick stood, gathering his clothes, and then continued walking. After several minutes, we reached a lake that was so serene I wanted to sleep on its glistening, perfectly still surface.

I gasped when Dedrick jumped in, pants, boots, and all. He disappeared under the water for only a second before bursting through the surface and gasping for breath. It sounded like his lungs were already frozen. Was he trying to kill himself?

He crawled out, shaking and shivering so hard I could hear his teeth banging together. He sprawled out on the snow-covered ground wheezing and convulsing.

I wanted to tell him he was certifiable. I also wanted to tie an anchor to his feet and shove him back in the lake, but I couldn’t do anything, so I just watched and said my own prayer. “Please,
please
let this be the death of you.”

He lay curled in a fetal position. I saw nothing and no one around anywhere. How would he get away from here and into someplace warm? Dedrick was too strategic to die of hypothermia.

When I looked down at him again, he was pulling a large stone from his bag. It almost looked like a giant ruby, but not as shiny. He held it above his head and uttered words in a language I didn’t recognize. The stone lit up, glowing bright red and orange.

He clutched it to his chest, and within moments his shivering subsided. The stone was warming him.

Dedrick muttered “thank you” over and over again. His words grew stronger and louder as the stone warmed him and he regained his strength. He dressed, and as he zipped up his coat he stared out over the lake. “Help her to see the truth. Help her remember.”

“Holy Fruit Loops, you better not be talking about me,” I said. “I don’t want any part of your maniacal mountain ritual.”

A thwacking noise hummed faintly in the distance. As it grew louder, a helicopter rounded the mountain peak. Dedrick put on sunglasses and walked to the stretch of flat land where the helicopter landed.

I stared through the windshield at the female pilot, silently cursing the familiar face looking through me. I had just seen her. She said Dedrick wouldn’t be back until tomorrow, but she never said she would be with him.

“Evelyn,” I grumbled as Dedrick climbed in beside her.

I officially added her to my
Can’t Be Trusted
list. I moved closer, penetrating the helicopter’s exterior like a ghost. Inside, I stared at the back of both of their heads, anxious to see where they were going, or perhaps overhear Evelyn mention their location. As the chopper lifted, the sky grew brighter until everything, including Dedrick and Evelyn, transformed to pure white. Even the sound of the blades cutting through the air faded to silence.

I floated there, searching the white void around me. No mountains, no wind, nothing at all.

I had lost them.

∞

I no longer trusted Evelyn or her relationship with Rina.

When I returned, I told Rina about Dedrick’s cutting ceremony and his dip in the lake. I explained how he used the glowing stone to warm himself, but then I altered the story. She couldn’t know
that I saw Evelyn helping him, just in case Rina was in on it somehow. I finished the abbreviated version of what happened. “After he put his clothes on, I felt so weak and tired that I came back.”

“Your soul felt weak?” Rina asked.

I had just updated her on Dedrick’s walkabout in the arctic, slicing open his skin, diving into a frozen lake, and a magic stone warming him like a space heater, but her first question was about my soul being tired?

“Yes,” I lied. “I felt like my ability to travel back here might be in jeopardy.”

She narrowed her eyes as she scanned me up and down. “Hmm.”

“What?”

She bit her nails and after several tense seconds said, “No clues as to where he was, or where we are?”

“Only that there were snow and mountains.”

“I wonder how he got there.”

A helicopter flown by your beloved Auntie Evelyn, who you’re either working with or shouldn’t be trusting
. I wanted to say that, but instead I went with, “I’ll have to spy on him again next time Evelyn assures us it’s safe.”

Rina stopped biting her nails, but she kept her hand over her lips. Creases formed around her eyes. She looked as skeptical of me as I was of Evelyn.

“Time to rest.” Rina walked over to her mattress, bending down to arrange her blanket.

“Actually, I was hoping to visit my kindrily and tell them about Dedrick’s strange adventure before I forget the details.”

She kept her back to me, snapping her blanket and smoothing out the wrinkles. “I thought your soul was tired.”

I offered a quick save. “Right, but checking into my body might restore some of my strength.”

Turning, she glared at me. “I trusted
you
. Now how do I gain your trust?”

She knew I was hiding something from her. I didn’t want to keep lying to her. “I’m trusting you as much as I can given the circumstances.”

She crawled onto her mattress and pulled her blanket over her head, but the energy cords that allowed me to reconnect with my body appeared, glowing brightly.

“Thank you, Rina.”

She didn’t answer.