Fighting To Stay (8 page)

Nodding my head, I sigh sadly. We both climb from the bed and gather our clothes to put them back on. With a quick run through my hair with my fingers, we walk out the door and toward my brother’s room.

Suddenly, a fear laces through me, the silence becomes uncomfortable. I’ve never been so reckless, so wanton. What he must think of me. Hurrying inside my brother’s room, I move next to his bed and hug him.

“Hey,” my brother says wrapping his arms around me. “What’s wrong?”

Not even sure how to answer that, I just blow it off with my fear of losing him today, and all because I chose to ‘heal’ myself with the wrong damn person. My brother would not be laying here in this bed if it wasn’t for me. My heart bleeds for what I’ve caused him.

“Sis, I’m fine. Hey, man,” he greets Garrett.

Garrett takes his hand with his right and rubs my back with the other. “How ya feeling?”

“Been better, but what can I do, right? You finally get your girl after all these years?”

He smiles down at me with a smile that stalls all actions from my body. My eyes lock with his and I find myself calming almost instantly. All fears and worries from before are forgotten… for a moment.

“Yes and I’m never letting her go,” he answers softly.

“Good,” my brother comments. “Remember how she was growing up. She’s stubborn and hard headed. Don’t let her push you away. You two deserve each other.”

He smiles at me and I stand up. Pulling me into his arms, his smile grows. “She’s stuck with me,” he replies before kissing me quickly and softly.

“Ick! I saw enough of that down in the lobby,” Hailey jokes causing all of us to laugh.

Walking out to his truck, he holds me tightly to him. His movements are tense and shuddered. I know why, but I wish he would stop. Having enough and wanting my fun loving boyfriend back, I jerk away from him.

“If you can’t push it out of your head, I’m walking away right now.”

“What?” The shock in his voice is undeniable.

“I get that you’re pissed about it being Vince that put Josh in the hospital. I am too, but damn it Garrett—would you stop analyzing everything—I can’t handle it and I won’t live like that. I’ll leave. I will,” I say softly.

He walks over to me, reaching out for me. I jump back, avoiding his touch. The hurt in his eyes is more obvious than if he’d said it out loud. His hands drop heavily to his sides as his chin hits his chest.

“Baby, please don’t,” he murmurs softly.

“Then please stop acting like this. I love you, but if this is how you are going to act now… I want the happy, carefree moments back. I have enough to bring me down if I let it. Please don’t be the one that does. Please remain my happy place.”

Looking up at me, I see a broken man. “I love you, baby. If something were to happen to you because I didn’t pay attention… I wouldn’t survive.”

Walking up to him, I touch his face gently and he leans into my touch. “Nothing’s going to happen. Life is too short to worry about everything. Sometimes you just have to throw your hands up in the air and say come what may.”

Laughing softly, he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him. “Okay. Come what may. I love you, Donna. Please don’t ever do that to me again. That… killed me.”

Rising up on my toes, I kiss him. In place of words, I show him that I do still love him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, his arms tighten around my waist and he deepens the kiss. The sound of screeching tires and a blaring horn breaks us apart.

Smiling up at him, “Take me home, my love,” I whisper against his lips.

“With pleasure,” he kisses me lightly and we walk the rest of the way to the truck.

Groaning, I wake still inside his truck. Looking over, I see Garrett glance over at me.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“I’m not feeling well,” I half mumble.

The truck jerks to a halt. He’s unbuckled and close to me in what seems like seconds. Pressing his lips to my forehead, as if he were kissing me, his hands brush the lose strands of my long hair from my face.

“You’re running a fever, baby.”

“My arm hurts,” my speech is slurring.

He pulls my arm out, but as he touches the spot near the port, I gasp from the sudden tenderness I feel. It’s becoming harder and harder to keep my eyes open. There’s movement next to me, but I can’t open my eyes to see what’s going on.

“Lay in my lap, baby. I’m taking you to the hospital. Your body may be trying to fight the port.”

Even though, I feel like shit, I can still make out the panic in his voice.  Forcing my eyes to open, I look up at him.

“Gare?”

My voice is so soft that I’m afraid he didn’t hear me. Looking down at me, the worry in his eyes clouds them. Removing one hand from the wheel and looking back down at me, he runs his thumb across my cheek.

“I’m taking you to the hospital, baby. Just rest. We’ll be there soon.”

“I love you… you know just in case…”

“You’re going to be just fine, baby. You’ll see.” The sadness in his voice is thick.

My eyes are rebelling against me and they close. Unable to open them, I can only hear the things around me.

“Please hang on, baby. Please hang on,” Garrett keeps saying repeatedly until I hear nothing else and it all just fades away. I dose off. I hear things happening in the distance—or is it all a dream.

Man, I feel like shit.

Slowly opening my eyes, they immediately reject the light. There’s a rustling noise from somewhere in the darkness that my eyes can’t stand to see.

“How’s she doing?”

“I don’t…” Garrett clears his throat. “The port site is infected. She’s running a fever that they’ve yet to break. They’ve put her on an IV for fluids and to get the meds in faster, treated the site, and now we wait.”

There’s silence before I hear a gruff voice that I do not recognize. “How are you doing?”

“I’m scared. The meds should have kicked in by now. We should be at home enjoying our time together. She… She had just told me she loved me.” His hand touches my face. “I’m a doctor,
her
doctor, yet here she is… in a hospital bed and I didn’t see the signs. I was too busy trying to convince her to take the leap with me than paying attention about her arm.”

Another pause fills in before that unfamiliar voice speaks again. “You did nothing wrong. You’ve been in love with her forever. You weren’t in the office so you weren’t on the clock. Does she know what you went through for her?”

“No and I’m not telling her either. She’s my everything, Fred. She’s more than that… If she doesn’t pull through this…”

“You haven’t thought like this since you left two years ago. I know you love her. You two grew up side by side pretty much. However, if she’s bringing this self-doubt back out in you, maybe she’s not what you need. Has that thought crossed your mind before?”

A long pause stretches on and I’m straining to hear his response. Has he thought about it before? Is he second-guessing things now? Is the answers to all those questions—yes?

Everything around me has been falling apart for a long time. I’ve never let anyone in to know that. Josh, Hailey and I are not as close as we used to be. In fact, that’s why I live in town and they live three hours away in the country.

When we were younger, we had a fight, something petty and normal for siblings, but for whatever reason none of us wanted to apologize for it. It is our seriously stubborn sides.

Years passed by without any contact between the three of us. It tore my mother apart. She was diagnosed with lung cancer and things changed. My father would take none of us upsetting mom. We had to force fake smiles and come to the house every weekend for a family meal.

One year later, Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer as well. Within a year Dad passed, mom followed right behind him only three months later. It was the hardest span of time for us. That is the drastic measures it took for us to get passed that stupid, petty fight, the death of our parents.

Ever since then, Josh has been overprotective and Hailey has been micromanaging all of us. Me, well, I’ve just been trying to get by.  My parents and I were very close. When they passed away, I was lost and empty. Garrett was a great friend and helped me through so much during that time.

Now here to find out, he’s been fighting against something too. I think it may be me. If I’m that bad for him, maybe I need to let him go before we get too attached. Well, I think it may be too late for me, but maybe I can save him and his heart.

His lips rest on my forehead for a moment. “No, the thought never crossed my mind. She gave me a reason to fight, a reason to stay. I told you that I was in love with her when I was thirteen. It’s not ever waivered since. Now, now that I know what it’s like to have her love returned, I can’t imagine not having it. She’s my sun and moon. I know you’re only looking out for me, but there’s nothing that will take me away from her, not now, not ever.”

Slowly, sleep claims me again. The voices fade out to the peaceful sounds of nothingness.

Groaning, I open my eyes and am thankful for the dim room. My head is pounding and I am freezing. The only thing I want right now is Garrett’s warm arms wrapped around me.

“Garrett,” I moan softly, unable to speak any louder. “Garrett?”

“Ma’am, can I get something for you?” A female voice asks.

Shaking my head, at least I think I do. “I want Garrett. Where’s Garrett? Garrett!” I sob.

“Ma’am, you need to calm down,” the woman insists, holding me down to the bed as I hear another noise in the background.

“Get away from me! I want Garrett. Garrett,” I sob and yell at the same time, trying to buck this woman off me.

“Baby? Baby, I’m right here. Shhh,” he coos softly as he touches my face.

The woman looks at Garrett as she backs away from the bed. “She needs to remain calm. That is just uncalled for,” she huffs.

“You can leave now. I can take care of her. If you can’t have a better bedside manner, you can start looking for another job while you’re at it,” he hisses in a tone that I’ve never heard come from him.

“Yes, Sir,” she mumbles as she leaves the room.