Fighting to Survive (46 page)

It
didn't seem to work.

She
continued to stare ahead.

At
their floor, Jenni briskly walked out of the elevator and out of his
reach. With a sigh, Juan followed, his tired, battered fingers
searching for their key in his pocket. She stood impatiently at the
door as he unlocked it. Unlike other times, when she was flirting
and anxious to get him alone, she avoided looking at him and was
silent. He had a feeling her lack of patience had nothing to do with
sex, but something unpleasant.

When
they entered the small suite, Juan quickly looked around for the kid.
A closed door with music loudly thumping behind it, let Juan know
where Jason was hanging out. The dog was probably in there, too.
The kid and the dog were pretty much inseparable.

“
I'm
going to bed,
”
Jenni stated.

“
You
don't want to talk about whatever it is that is making you like
this?
”
He already knew the answer, but he had to ask.

“
No.
”

“
Why
not?
”
He couldn't help himself. He wanted to know what was wrong.

“
It's
not important.
”

“
If
it wasn't important you shouldn't be flipping out.
”

“
I'm
just tired.
”

“
You're
lying.
”

“
Fuck
you!
”

“
Whoa!
Where did that come from?
”

“
I
told you it's not important!
”
Jenni's dark eyes were full of indignation.

“
Then
why are you acting loca, Loca? Juan felt his temper rising. He
loved her madly, but she was getting on his last nerve.

“
Maybe
because I am! You knew that when we go together!
”
Hands on her hips, her jaw set in a defiant line, she seemed to dare
him to push the topic further.

He
hated himself , but he couldn't help it.
“
Something
happened out there. I have a right to know what is going on in that
loca head of yours. I love you.
”

She stared at him
for a few beatings of his worried heart, then simply walked out the
door.

“
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
”

He
rushed after her, but the door slammed firmly behind her. Flinging
the door open, he looked out to see her getting back onto the
elevator. His anger told him to follow her, confront her and make
her tell him what was going on, but his love for her told him to not
be a selfish bastard. Struggling to rein in his emotions, he stepped
back into the suite they shared.

Taking off his
cowboy hat, he ran his hand over his long curls. Loca was nuts, but
she wasn't stupid. She wouldn't rush off and do anything stupid;
well, stupid as in going zombie hunting alone or anything like that.

Arching
an eyebrow, he suddenly knew exactly where she was going. Snatching
up the phone on the table beside the door, he dialed Katie's room.
It took a few rings before she answered.

“
Hello?
”

“
Katie,
Loca just blew out of here.
”

“
What
do you mean?
”

“
She
was acting all weird-
”

“
I
noticed.
”

“
-and
was not telling me what was up-
”

“
She
tends to do that.
”

“
-and
I basically ordered her to tell me-
”

“
A
very stupid move on your part.
”

“
-and
out the door she went. I think she's heading your way. You're not
naked and doing anything sweaty with Travis right now, are you?
Cause Loca will need you to calm her ass down.
”

“
I'm
not naked or doing anything sweaty with Travis. He's actually about
to head out and meet with Eric to work on some plans for Main
Street.
”
Katie sounded worried and bemused all at the same time.

“
Okay,
so you will take care of my girl?
”

“
Absolutely,
”
Katie answered.

Juan
sighed.
“
Take
care of her, Katie. Please.
”

“
I
will.
”

Hanging
up, Juan closed his eyes to rub his eyelids. He was weary. His eyes
felt like salt had been poured into them. Jenni not being with him
was disconcerting. He felt lost without her. Surprised to feel
tears in his eyes, he slid onto a stool tucked beside a small bar
next to the kitchenette.

The music in Jason's
room was still pounding away and it did nothing to calm his nerves.
Letting out another weary sigh, he swept a tear away with his rough
fingers.

Loca
would be okay. He knew it. She was too tough to let anything drag
her down. He just had to wait for her to come back to their little
home.

It
would be okay.

He
hoped.

***

Katie hung up the
phone and stared at it, deep in thought.

“
What's
wrong?
”
Travis emerged from the bathroom, his face and hair a little damp.
He was feeling tired, but still had a few more hours of work. A
splash of cold water on his face had him looking more alert.

“
Jenni
is on her way. Juan says she walked out on an argument.
”
Katie folded her arms over her breasts.
“
I
noticed she was abnormally quiet tonight, but I thought she was just
tired.
”

Travis
walked over and kissed her cheek.
“
If
anyone can calm her down, it's you. It'll be fine.
”

“
If
she talks to me,
”
Katie grumbled.
“
She's
been evasive on a lot of stuff lately.
”

“
She's
haunted. Maybe a little more than a lot of us.
”
Travis rubbed Katie's shoulders.
“
I
better go before she lands on our doorstep.
”

Katie's fingers
brushed over his hand and she gave him a worried smile. She was
sincerely worried about Jenni. She remembered the near catatonic
woman in her truck. No one else in the Fort had ever seen Jenni that
way, but Katie knew how fragile Jenni's condition had been on that
first day.

Travis
pressed a kiss to her lips, then moved toward the door.
“
See
you at breakfast.
”

“
I'll
miss you,
”
Katie said with a slight smile.

There
was a sharp rap on the door.

“
I
think she's here. Take care of her, Katie.
”
Travis smiled ruefully, then opened the door.

Jenni stood there,
hands on her hips, her head down. Her face was obscured by her hair.

“
Hey,
Jenni,
”
Travis said, and brushed past her quickly.

Katie could tell he
did not want to upset Jenni anymore than she already was. Another
reason why she adored him so. He always was considerate of others.

Jenni stepped into
the room and slammed the door behind her.

“
Jenni?
”

Her
friend looked up, her face streaked with tears. With a small cry of
despair, Jenni launched herself into Katie's arms and clung to her.

“
Oh,
Jenni! What is it? What's wrong?
”

“
He
can't see me like this! He can't! He doesn't know how I used to
be!
”

Katie
held her tightly and could feel her friend trembling violently.
“
Jenni,
what is it? What is it?
”
Jenni's tears were soaking her neck and shoulder. Katie stroked
Jenni's dark hair soothingly with one hand.

There
was no answer for a minute or two as Jenni wept. Then, at last, she
raised her head and wiped at her soaked cheeks with irritated hands.
Jenni struggled to get her breath, then regained some of her
composure.
“
I
think Lloyd is haunting me.
”

Katie
blinked and ran Jenni's words through her mind one more time.
“
Huh?
”

“
I
think Lloyd is haunting me and trying to kill me.
”
Jenni's dark lashes glittered with tears and she fastened her red
eyes on Katie defiantly.
“
And
I'm not joking!
”

Katie
could see the anger, desperation, and fear in Jenni's face. She was
not about to argue with her. She had suffered her own struggles with
the past and couldn't judge her.
“
Why
do you think that? What happened?
”

In a voice that
trembled with emotion, Jenni explained the events of the day. Katie
listened in silence, taking in the words, watching Jenni's
expression. It was obvious that the seal Jenni so painstakingly kept
clamped over her past had been ripped off. She was trembling and
afraid. Instead of looking like her usual rough and tough self, she
appeared emotionally shattered. She resembled the woman standing on
the front porch of her home in her pink bathrobe watching tiny dead
fingers pressed under the door.

“
And
Juan cannot see me like this! He can't! He loves the new Jenni.
Not the old one. I hate being the old Jenni! I hate it! I don't
like feeling this way! I don't like being weak! I thought I was
past this!
”
Jenni flung herself onto Katie's bed in a dramatic finish.

Katie
slid onto the bed and gently rubbed Jenni's back.
“
It's
okay, Jenni. It's okay to have a bad day. We all have them. It
doesn't mean you're the old Jenni. It just means that something
happened today that really upset you. I told you about the dreams I
used to have about Lydia. I still struggle with that guilt. I
struggle with the knowledge that I did not kill the thing she became.
Hell, I struggle with the guilt that I did not put your children and
Lloyd out of their misery.
”

Jenni
gave her a fierce look over her shoulder.
“
I
don't give a shit if Lloyd wanders out there forever. I hope he rots
slowly. I hope his soul is still in his body! I hope he's aware of
what he is! Fuck him!
”

Katie
slightly smiled at this tirade. It sounded more like the Jenni she
knew now.
“
Okay.
So if you feel that way, why let his memory-
”

“
His
ghost,
”
Jenni corrected.

“
Okay,
his ghost. Why let his ghost upset you like this? Why let him make
you weak and scared? You know that...
”
Katie hesitated, then plunged on.
“
You
know Benji can't get out of the house. He couldn't be there today.
As for Lloyd and Mikey, they are hundreds of miles away. Even if his
ghost is here, he can't hurt you.
”