Figure 8 (12 page)

“We should do this more often.” He brushes his fingers over my stomach. “I like getting you naked.” I feel his chest move as he chuckles slightly. His hands start moving upwards, towards my hardened nipples. I can feel his erection sticking into my bum cheeks, so I wiggle my bum slightly earning a growing reaction. “You keep doing that baby and I will have to break my vow.”

“What vow?” I turn slightly, looking confused.

“The vow to not touch you until you’re healed.” His eyes look sad. “However, I’m not sure I can keep that promise.” I am disappointed. I need the connection between us. I have missed it these last few days.

“Then break it,” I whisper, turning myself around in the water so I am kneeling between his legs. I look up into his eyes. “I’m not glass Damon, you can’t break me.” I lean in to him hoping that he will consume me with his kiss. He pulls back and I feel rejected.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” I plead, giving my best puppy dog eyes.

“Promise me you will tell me if it hurts.” his face turns stern.

“I promise,” I breathe. He pulls me closer and captures my mouth, slipping his tongue inside to taste me. I deepen the kiss, tangling my tongue to his, entwining us as one. He lifts me slightly and shifts forward impaling me on his waiting erection.

I am thankful for the huge bath he has, we would never have been able to do this in the standard sized bath at my flat. He stills whilst my body adjusts to the fullness. It feels different with him in the water, slicker. I find my rhythm and use the sides of the bath to help lift me up and down. My shoulder is painful but it is worth the pain.

I look down into his eyes and see the love this man has for me and it takes all the pain in the world away from me. I kiss him deeply as we move as one, feeling my insides tingle with sensations, the burn starts to rise up as I feel my orgasm growing. We move slowly and sensually. This isn’t raw fucking, this is making love. I twist my hands in his hair as he grabs my hips to help me move up and down. Neither of us talks, we communicate with our eyes, never breaking the stare. We eventually come as one, together, never breaking the contact, fitting perfectly together, the final piece of our jigsaw.

I wake up to a bright light shining in through the curtains. I must have slept at least a solid eight hours, with no nightmares. I turn over feeling around for Damon, but he isn’t there. I stretch my aching muscles out, remembering last night. I smile thinking of all the things Damon did to me after our love making in the bath. He was so gentle with me but so amazing. I sit up and head to the bathroom, glancing at my frightening self in the mirror. I really need pampering, I look horrendous. I quickly comb through my hair, being careful not to comb where my bump is, I brush my teeth and head out into the living area to find Damon. I stop at the kitchen counter when I see a note addressed to me in Damon’s handwriting. Disappointment washes over me as I open the note:

My princess.

Good morning sleepy head, I didn’t want to wake you, you looked so peaceful and it was nice seeing you sleep so well. I have had to go into work for a few hours, text me when you wake up.

Your Damon xx

I smile to myself as I walk over to my phone that is charging next to the kettle. He thinks of everything, I know my phone was dead last night and I didn’t even think to charge it. I flip the kettle on as I pick my phone up. I glance at the time, wow, I slept longer than I thought it’s 10.30 a.m. I scroll through the messages and quickly write replies to my dad and Jenny. I open up a new message box and type to Damon.

Good Morning Handsome,

I’m up, just about to make a brew and take some pills. When will you be home? I miss you.

Love your princess Iz xx

I press send and wait for a reply. Sitting down on the sofa, I grab the remote control for the TV and relax, watching the news. A knock on the door startles me, I am slightly nervous about answering it. It’s Damon’s apartment and only Jenny and my dad know that I’m here and they’re both at work. I mute the TV and quietly walk over to the door peeking through the spy hole. There’s a beautiful young woman stood in front of the door, she must be in her mid-20’s, with long flowing blonde hair and stunning brown eyes. Curiosity gets the better of me and I turn the latch opening the door.

“Hi, can I help you?” I ask nervously. I must look terrible, especially next to whoever she is.

“Is Damon home?” Damon, She knows him by name? It
suddenly
occurs to me that I barely know any of Damon’s friends, or past relationships.

“Erm, no he is at work. Can I help by giving him a message?” I cringe, as she looks me up and down. I fold my arms around myself feeling inadequate.

“No that’s fine,” she snaps. “I will call him at his office,” she snorts, yes actually snorts, then turns on her pretty little heels and walks down the hallway. I stand there for a few more seconds watching her, in her ‘barely there’ blue dress. I finally close the door quietly and return to the sofa. I pick up my phone, noting that Damon has yet to reply to me. I am getting worried now it has been over an hour since I text him. I scroll through my contacts until I find his name and hit the call button. It goes straight to answer machine and then I panic a little bit more. I scroll again until I pull up the number to his office. It’s Tuesday, so I know that Candy won’t be there to answer, as Damon normally doesn’t work on a Tuesday. However, with all the time off he has had lately I should have expected him to have to go in to deal with some things, I just hope that he answers. When it rings off and I hear Candy’s voice on the answer machine, I hang up and head to the boxes that Jenny brought, digging out a pair of jeans and a jumper. I quickly get dressed; grab the key Damon left for me on the kitchen table, slipping it into my bag with my phone and head out of the door. I head out into the cool air and start walking. The pain in my shoulder has eased slightly but I still feel extremely tired. I hail the first taxi I see, jump in giving him the address of Damon’s office, sit back and have a mini nervous breakdown.

When we arrive at the office I jump out of the taxi, after paying the driver. I look up at the window of his office. Entering the double doors to the building that houses his office, I walk up the stairs. I feel extremely nervous, but I don’t understand why. There has to be an explanation for why he isn’t answering his phone, but this gut feeling that something is wrong won’t leave me. I am starting to sound paranoid but after what happened to us I am worried that he might be hurt. As I open the door I realise he must be here, the door would be locked otherwise. I quietly walk in and hear raised voices.

“I want him found Michael, not next week, now.” It’s Damon’s voice but he sounds so angry.

“I am on it, I have some of my best people tracking him down, and we will find him soon.” I don’t know this voice.

“I’m going to kill the motherfucker when I get my hands on him. I just.. argh.” I can’t listen anymore, I feel dirty, like I am betraying him listening in on his conversation. I knock quietly on the door. “Hang on,” I hear him say but I don’t think it’s to me. The door opens and Damon looks shocked to see me standing in front of him.

“What are you doing here Iz?” He comes out of his office closing the door behind him. He still looks angry but his features soften when he sees the terror in my face.

“I couldn’t get hold of you. I text you like you said, then some
woman
came to the apartment looking for you, and I became worried.” I emphasise the word woman.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been so busy and my phone has been non-stop all morning, I was about to ring you after this appointment was over. What woman?” I breathe a sigh of relief as he talks, until I remember the woman again.

“She wouldn’t leave her name. She said she would contact you here.” He looks confused, so I feel the need to elaborate further. “Hot, young, blonde hair, pouty lips, brown eyes, wearing a dress that was barely there and 6 inch heels.” His eyes widen as I describe the woman to him.

“Sounds like Angie, but I don’t know how she knows where I live?”

“Who the hell is Angie?” I am getting increasingly agitated and slightly jealous now.

“She’s a former patient Izzy, I swear I don’t know how she knows where I live. She has been calling the office for about a week now. Candy made an appointment for her for next week. I don’t know what she wants or why she would come to the apartment.” His tone is gentle and I believe him.

“Can you deal with it please? I don’t want her on
our
doorstep again.” I emphasise ‘our’ this time letting him know that I am staking my claim on him and our apartment.

“I promise Izzy, give me two minutes to wrap up this meeting and I will take you home.” I nod my head and take a seat in the waiting room. Five minutes later Damon steps out followed by a tall man, he looks familiar but I can’t figure out where I have seen him before. He gives me a curt nod as he turns to shake Damon’s hand saying his goodbyes.

“Are you ready?” I grab my bag and stand.

“Yep, I sure am.”

We make our way home in silence, Damon pulls the range rover into the car park and we head up to the apartment.

“I will make you something to eat, what would you like?” Damon announces, walking into the kitchen. I drop my bag at the door and examine the boxes still lying near the doorway.

“I will eat anything you want to make me,” I smile. “Listen, I’m sorry I came to the office,” I say fidgeting. “I shouldn’t have interrupted your meeting. I was just worried when you didn’t answer your phone.”

“It’s okay Izzy, I should have rung you to stop you from worrying, it’s my fault.” He smiles at me then continues to get pots and pans out of the cupboard.

“I am going to make a start emptying some of these boxes, shout me when it’s ready.” I carefully lift one of the boxes marked clothes and head towards the bedroom. I sit on the bed accessing this morning’s events. I am exhausted and I haven’t even done anything. I need to get up and start motivating myself though, I need to get back to work and become independent again. Even though I am living with Damon I still can’t rely on him, I need to have my own friends and my own time and I need to work. I make a space in the wardrobe next to Damon’s clothes and start hanging up my things. I notice a small shoe box on a shelf above the clothes rail and pull it down. Opening it carefully, I find that it is filled with photographs, old photographs. Lots of Pictures of a stunning young woman and her perfect little boy, stare back at me, both of them are looking so carefree and happy. I wonder to myself whatever happened to his mom, he never did tell me how she died, just that she had died. I also notice whilst flicking through the photos that there are no pictures of his dad or any siblings, I wonder why? I know they are estranged but it’s unusual to not have any pictures at all. I make it my mission to extract more information out of the man I have fallen in love with.

Are you sure it’s love and not just the need to be loved taking over?

I try to silence my head. I really don’t know if my feelings are real, but the tingles I feel in my belly when he is near me and how much I miss him when he is not with me, all scream love at me.

I have been emptying boxes for a while when Damon shouts me in for dinner. I walk into the kitchen and sit on one of the stools. Damon serves chicken and rice in some sort of sauce, it smells delicious. I am suddenly famished, eating like I’ve not had a decent meal in weeks.

“Are you going to tell me about your family?” I ask between mouthfuls. He shifts uncomfortably on his stool. I know there are some issues with his family and I know I can’t expect him to open up to me when I have refused to talk to him about my mom, but I would like to know more about him.

“What do you want to know?” he asks, looking down at his fork full of food.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk to me about it. I just wondered, you never told me anything about your upbringing, siblings, parents and grandparents?” I am pushing it now.

“There’s not much to tell you, really. As I told you already, my mother died. I am not sure where my father is and I haven’t see my brother for about fifteen years.” He dismisses the last part about his brother with a wave of his fork. This is the first time he has ever mentioned a sibling. I am intrigued.

“So your brother.” I take another bite of my chicken and swallow, trying to make the conversation nonchalant. “Is he older than you then if you haven’t seen him for such a long time. Was he not there when your mom died?” He looks up at me and there is sadness in his eyes. Just as I am about to tell him that it’s okay and that he doesn’t have to tell me he starts to talk.

“He is twelve years older than me, there was a family argument and he left. I haven’t seen him since. He didn’t attend our mother’s funeral and I don’t know where he is. I left the area shortly after my mom died and left no forwarding contact, so I doubt I will ever see him again.” I nod my head and continue eating, I don’t want to push my luck anymore, he has told me more about his family in the last five minutes than he has in the last few months. I am happy with this small amount of knowledge.

“My mom.” I stop eating and look out towards the sitting area. “She was so beautiful. I remember little bits about her. I was young when she died but I can still picture her face and I still hear her voice in my dreams.” Damon puts down his fork and swivels his stool round to face me, I keep staring forward. “That night, I was in bed. I remember waking up to a lot of noise, Dad was shouting and I could hear Gran sobbing. I went to the top of the staircase and knelt down between the spindles. I would do this a lot as a child, when I was sent to bed and I wanted to know what was going on. A man appeared out of the kitchen and headed towards the front door, he was dressed in a grey suit and a man in a police uniform followed him. My dad showed them out, shaking their hands as they went. When he turned around, after closing the door, I got my first glimpse of his face. I will never forget the look in his eyes for as long as I live.” A lone tear starts to fall down my cheek. I feel Damon shift and then I feel him wiping my cheek.

“You don’t have to tell me this if it’s too hard.” I look towards him, his eyes are burning with pride and passion. I know then, that I do love this man and I owe it to him and to myself to finally tell him my story. I mean if I can’t tell the man I love what happened, then what hope have I got of ever getting over this?

“I need to say this,” I implore. He nods his head and waits for me to continue. “My dad doesn’t come to me that night, but I can hear him and my grandparents talking. I hear him saying ‘What do I tell her?’ and I knew that something was very wrong. I mean I was only eight years old but I knew. When Mom didn’t come home that night I started to fear the worst, but in my eight-year-old head I actually thought she had left us. I had a friend at school whose Dad had left one day and she never saw him again, I thought that’s what Mom had done. I spent the night going over different scenarios in my head, but I think the one that screamed the loudest was that she was dead. The next morning I woke up to my dad sitting next to me on my bed. He looked older, like he had aged ten years throughout the night.” My breath hitches and I let out a sigh before I continue. “He had been crying and I was so scared of what he was about to say. He started by telling me how much he loved me and how much my mom loved me. He then said that no matter what my mom would always be with me and would always love me. Tears streamed down my face and I shook my head. I just knew, I had felt her already, I knew she had gone.”

I take a deep breath before continuing. “He continued to tell me that my mom had died. He didn’t tell me what had happened, but I knew it was bad. After that day I didn’t cry. Not once, not even during the funeral. I tried to keep strong for my dad, he was a wreck. I thought at one point that I might lose him too. He stopped eating and he got ever so thin, Gran and Grandpa were really worried and they sent him away to a clinic to get some help. I carried on as normal. I would go to school, get the sympathetic looks off my teachers and friends and then come home, do my homework and shut myself off from the rest of the world in my bedroom. When Dad came home things were different, we didn’t talk about Mom or what happened to her. He carried on until one day he said we were moving away and that was that.”

Tears are streaming down my face now and I am sobbing uncontrollably. This is the first real time that I have cried for my mom since the day she died. I have been sad before now and yes, I have cried but this is the first time that I have let all my emotions pour out. Damon brings me towards him, when he realises that I have finished telling my story. He brushes my hair away from my face, stroking my head whilst I cry into his crisp white shirt.

“Thank you for telling me, he whispers into my hair. He holds me for what feels like forever. After a while, he picks me up and carries me into the bedroom. He lays me on the bed and then gets in behind me, spooning me. The tears continue to wreck my body as I drift off to sleep. That night, I dream of my mom, her beautiful face shining down on me, telling me how proud she is that I finally let go.

I wake the next morning to the sound of the birds singing outside. Squinting, I open my eyes to the bright sunlight bursting through the bedroom window. I sit up and stretch my aching limbs. My shoulder is still slightly sore but it is much better than it was. I know that Damon is not in the room; I felt it even before I opened my eyes. I can hear music playing from the other room, Jason Mraz is crooning about not giving up. I smile as I get up and walk towards the bathroom. I enter and smile again when I see my toothbrush next to Damon’s in the little cup on the vanity unit. It’s crazy to think how quickly my life has changed in just a few short months. My breakdown last night has made me feel lighter. I feel like a massive weight has lifted off of my shoulders and I feel free. Just over two months ago I was broken; I was a shell, just existing in the world. I hate to admit it but trying to take my own life was the best thing to ever happen to me. If I hadn’t then I would never have met Damon. He really does make me feel so very happy. I quickly brush my teeth, run some water over my face and flick a comb through the bird’s nest that I call hair.

“Good morning princess,” a smiling Damon says. I beam when I walk into the room and see him. He reaches over and turns the radio down slightly. “I hope I didn’t wake you?”

“Nope, I was awake already. Good morning yourself handsome.” He is sat on the sofa, wearing a black suit with a crisp white shirt and red tie. His hair is tousled to the side and I just want to run my hands through it. I walk over to the sofa and plonk myself on his lap, wrapping my hands around his strong shoulders. I nuzzle into his neck, smelling his aftershave, Hugo Boss Red, Yum.

“What are your plans for the day?” he murmurs into my neck, whilst trailing kisses down my collarbone, which make my insides convulse.

“I am going to go and see my dad this morning. I haven’t seen him since the hospital, and then I am having lunch with Jen.” I’m excited to finally catch up with Jenny properly. I have missed her face these last few days. After spending all my time with her for the last few years I hate that we don’t spend time together now that I have Damon and she has Jared.

“Do you need money, to treat yourself while you’re out?” I look up at his face.

“Damon, I couldn’t take your money. I still have savings and my wages. I will have to go into work and speak to Sue about my shifts. I feel fit enough to go back. I could take it slowly, but I don’t think I will be able to manage the pumps until my shoulder is better.”

“I don’t want you to go back to work,” he says, looking nervous.

“I have to work Damon, I need my independence and I love my job and my friends.” This is something I am passionate about. I don’t want Damon to support me, I want to be my own person and have my own money. I won’t back down on this one. He shifts so that he is now sitting next to me on the sofa. He turns and pecks my cheek before standing.

Oh no I hope I haven’t upset him.

“Okay babe, whatever you want. I just don’t want you working many more evenings, maybe you could ask Sue about doing more days? That way you’re at work the same time as me.” He shrugs, and I smile at him.

“Oh, okay, you just don’t want to share me, I get it.” I wink at him. “I will speak to Sue.” He stands and walks over to the kitchen island. He grabs his briefcase from the stool and picks up his phone.

“I have to go, I have a 10 a.m. meeting. Text me when you’re at your dad’s and when you meet Jenny so I know that you’re safe.” I nod my head in reply. It’s so nice having someone who cares about my wellbeing. I stand as he makes his way back towards me. He goes to kiss my cheek but I turn my face, capturing his lips with my own. I leave him breathless after consuming him with my kiss. When he pulls back he adjusts himself in his trousers and I grin like the Cheshire cat. I love that I have that effect on him.

“I love you,” he murmurs, looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes that look so much softer right now. I gasp at hearing those three little words come out of his mouth, his eyes are dancing and he looks so happy.

“I love you too,” I breathe. He grabs his things and heads out of the door, closing it softly behind him. I do a mini dance, as the door shuts. Oh my god, he loves me. I knew it, but hearing those words spoken out loud for the first time, it’s like my heart is doing somersaults in my chest. I eat a banana, then grab a shower and get dressed. I grab my phone and my bag and make my way out the door, with the biggest ever smile on my face.