Finaly My Heart's Desire (Meant for Me Book 2) (10 page)

"It's pretty cool," I said.

"Yeah it was. Thomas cried his eyes out, which made the rest of us cry too."

I could just imagine it.

Carly patted me on the thigh and turned to me with a sincere smile. "I love you, and I want you to call us if you need anything."

I smiled back at her. "That's exactly what Micah said."

"He'll probably want to come up again before we leave," she said.

I nodded, and she headed for the door.

I began getting nervous the instant she left. I had already checked myself in the mirror while they were eating, but I ran a hand through my hair and sat up straight just for good measure.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs as soon as she descended. A few knocks sounded on my door, and I yelled for the person I assumed was Shane to come in. I stared at the door as it opened and he came into view. In spite of everything I was dealing with, the sight of his face gave me the same feeling it had all those years ago. I felt the urge to doodle his name and mine with a heart around it on a piece of paper. I had to stifle a smile at the thought.

He was wearing khakis and a red plaid button-up shirt that was perfect for Christmas. My eye roamed over his body before moving to his face again, and I watched as he came toward me. I could see the change in his expression when he first noticed my bruise.

Chapter 13

The blinds were open in my bedroom, and there was a lamp switched on, but it still wasn't very bright in there. I was thankful for this, because Shane was inspecting me closely, and I had no makeup on whatsoever. I was positioned on the edge of my bed with my right foot hiked up on the bed, and the left one dangling. He walked cautiously toward me, first taking in my bruised face, and then scanning my body for other injuries. He didn't say a word in those few seconds that he approached; he simply stared at me with great concern.

I thought he was going to stand next to me, but before I knew it, he sank to his knees in front of me. His face was about at the level of my waist, so I looked down at him with a curious smile wondering what in the world he was doing kneeling down.

Shane didn't return my smile. Instead, he stared at me with a pained expression. "He did this because of me," he said.

It was definitely more of a statement than a question, but the pain in his eyes made me respond with, "No." I paused for a second before adding, " It wasn't because of you, and it wasn't because of me. There's no one to blame but him."

"I know that," he said, "and you're right, but it set him off seeing us together the other night. I knew it did; I could see it in his eyes. I could see it with the way he kissed you when we went downstairs. I knew he was capable hurting you, and I didn't do anything about it."

I could see by looking at his face that he was deeply affected by guilt and regret. It was an odd feeling seeing him down on his knees like that—tortured, like he was somehow responsible for what had happened to me.

I stared down at his face. I had memorized every last curve of it years ago, and it was still the same, only more mature. He had been clean-shaven for the wedding and the Christmas party, but today, there was some dark stubble dusting his jaw. Without even thinking, I reached out to touch his cheek. I cupped my hand around his jaw feeling the need to assure him he wasn't at fault. He closed his eyes and gently placed his hand over mine, holding it in place as if relishing my touch. He let out a sigh as he opened his eyes to look at me.

"I'm so sorry," he said, offering me the hint of a smile.

I slipped my hand out from in between his hand and his face and used it to pat the bed, indicating that I wanted him to sit beside me. He did so without arguing. He sat on my left side, close enough for my dangling leg to touch his.

"I heard about church this morning," I said, changing the subject.

He smiled at me and shrugged. "Brock kept coming home from work telling me all this stuff Micah was sharing with him, and the next thing I knew, he was dragging me to church this morning. I didn't expect it to end up the way it did, but something struck me when I was there, and I had to act on it."

"I think it's wonderful," I said.

He smiled. "I think your family's pretty wonderful," he said. "Thomas had me cracking up down there. Carly told me a few stories about him, but I didn't grasp how cool he was till I got to talk to him today."

"What'd he say?"

"Well, first of all, it was obvious that your parents didn't want him saying anything about your current condition, but he did anyway. I could tell he knew he wasn't supposed to and he still did it. It was really funny the way it all came out, but I could see that his intent was only to help you. He wanted us to be aware of what happened because he loves you so much."

I shook my head and smiled, imagining Thomas blurting it out in his simple, blunt manner.

Shane let out a little laugh. "And then he went on to list all these reasons why he knew you weren't gonna marry Robin."

"He did not," I said.

"Yes he did."

"What'd he say?"

"He said that Robin didn't make you laugh or even smile very much, and that he never once said he loved the Lord. He said he didn't like Carly's dog, Roscoe, and that one time when they were riding in the car together, Robin gave a lady a Butterfinger."

"A Butterfinger?" I asked, looking at Shane.

Shane smiled. "It took me a second to figure it out, but I realized he was saying Robin flipped someone off."

I let out a laugh. "That's what he calls it? I've never heard him say that before."

"Your parents hadn't either, because they asked him what he was talking about and he showed them by pointing to his middle finger while making a face like he knew it was forbidden. None of us said anything, because he was serious. It seemed like he really thought that was the name of it."

Shane and I smiled at each other. "I like it," he said. "I'm gonna use it sometime."

"The finger?" I asked, joking around.

"The phrase," he clarified, even though he knew I was joking.

We both stared at our laps for a few seconds before he said, "Please tell me you broke up with that guy."

My answer was still sinking in, so I found that I couldn't say it right away. It took me a few seconds but I finally responded. "I did," I said. "I guess I haven't really officially done it since I haven't talked to him, but my dad told him it was over between us, and I have plans to return the car and everything else this afternoon."

"What car?"

"My car. He's the one who bought it."

"So you won't have a car?" he asked.

I shrugged casually even though the idea I was really disturbing. "Yeah, but we'll figure something out. I'm sure my parents will help me out with something until I get a job."

"You can borrow my truck if you need to," he said. "As long as I can get to and from work."

"You're not responsible for what happened," I said since I assumed that was the reason for his generosity. "He hurt me before he ever saw us talking the other night. I had bruises on my arms at Micah's wedding."

Shane took a deep breath and stared toward the ceiling at my words. I could tell he was agitated.

"And just so you know, he didn't hear anything we said the other night."

Shane glanced at me. "Well I meant everything I said. It's probably bad timing for me to repeat it, but I was a fool for not noticing you all those years ago. I wish things would've turned out differently. If that was the case, you wouldn't have those bruises right now."

"It's not so bad," I said, touching my own cheek. "It'll heal."

"How about your back?"

"How'd you know about my back?" I asked.

"My informant."

I glanced at him quizzically, and he smiled.

"Thomas," he explained. "How is it?"

"It's stiff right now, but it's just a bruise too."

"You know I can help you if it gives you trouble, right? That 's what I do."

I nodded. "I'll look you up if it keeps hurting, but I'm sure I'll be fine in a few days."

We sat quietly for a few long seconds. I imagined myself going to the place where he did physical therapy. I tried to picture what it was like. I wondered what was going through his mind as we sat there. He shifted slightly and ever so gently wrapped a hand around my shoulders. I gave into his gentle nudging by leaning over and placing my head onto his shoulder, much the same as I'd done with Micah.

"Thank you for letting me come up here," he said.

"Thank you for coming to check on me. I couldn't believe it when Mom said you guys were having lunch over here, but I'm glad I got to see you."

I stayed there with my head on his shoulder, breathing in the clean, earthy smell of him. He sighed as he gently rubbed my shoulder. "I meant what I said about my truck. You're welcome to use it if you need to."

At that second, my bedroom door opened, and we looked up to see my dad's masculine form looming in the doorway. I hadn't even heard him coming up the stairs, and his sudden appearance startled me. His expression was easily readable. He did
not
like the sight of Shane's arm around me. His distaste was so apparent that I took my head off of Shane's shoulder and sat up straight. Shane dropped his arm slowly as if he really didn't want to.

"Hey Dad," I said.

"What's going on up here?" he asked, looking at Shane.

Shane's posture changed slightly. He sat up a little straighter, but otherwise stayed by my side.

"I remembered Shane from years ago," I said. "He used to work at that YMCA I went to with Kaitlin all the time. I saw him at Micah's wedding and then again at Robin's party the other night. He just wanted to check on me to make sure I was okay."

My dad almost always wore a smile, but he wasn't wearing one now. He regarded Shane with an impassive stare. "I'm happy for you and the decision you made this morning, and it's good that you wanted to check on Emily, but you can do that from across the room as far as I'm concerned. Maybe you'll have a daughter of your own one day, and you'll understand where I'm coming from."

Shane extended his palms toward my dad in a gesture of surrender. "I didn't mean any harm."

"I think it's best if we head on downstairs and give Emily a chance to rest."

Shane stood slowly. "Mr. Bennett, I would never lay a hand on your daughter."

"Your hand was just on her when I came in the room," my dad retorted.

"Dad, he meant he'd never try to hurt—"

"I know what he meant, Emily," my dad said, shifting his attention to me before looking at Shane again. "How about let's give her some space."

"Yes sir," Shane said. He took a step toward the door, but then looked back at me. "You know how to reach me," Shane said.

"We're gonna see about getting her back on her feet before she reaches out to anyone."

"Dad!" I said, unable to believe how protective he was being.

"I told her I'd help her with her back if it came to that," Shane said.

"Yeah, Dad, he's a physical therapist."

My dad gave him a slight nod, but still didn't look happy.

"I honestly didn't mean any harm, Mr. Bennett. I just wanted to see how Emily was doing."

"I wanted him to come up here, Dad," I added. "I'm glad he did."

My dad sighed before motioning with his hand for Shane to follow him. "Good. Everybody's happy."

Shane smiled at me and gave me a little wave on his way out, and I flopped onto my bed, unable to believe the crazy chain of events. It was as if God himself had plucked Shane Rollins out of his place in the universe and put him back in my life. The timing felt odd, I felt slightly awkward about Trish, and my dad didn't seem too pleased about it, but I had the feeling God was orchestrating the whole thing, nonetheless.

I stretched out on the bed, doing my best not to get my heart set on things turning out a certain way. It was only hours before that I was thinking I didn't need to worry about who I would end up with, and now thoughts of Shane were all of a sudden flooding my mind.

I took out my phone and sent a text to Carly.

Me: "Don't let my dad be mean to Shane."

I knew I could have just gone downstairs to make sure of it for myself, but I had already committed to staying in my bedroom.

I heard back from Carly a minute later.

Carly: "It's all good. The boys are watching football."

Me: "How long are y'all staying?"

Carly: "I think Shane and Brock will leave soon. I heard them say something about helping their dad with something this afternoon. Micah and I will stay for a while."

Me: "Okay. Let me know when they leave."

Carly: "Did it go okay up there? Are you okay?"

Me: "I'm fine. I'm glad he came up. Dad seemed mad when he came up and I wanted to make sure he wasn't being rude to Shane down there."

Carly: "I'll go check it out, but I think they're just watching football."

I seriously contemplated going downstairs, but ultimately decided to stay where I was. I got in the shower, and let hot water run over me. I remembered the way Shane stooped down in front of me—remembered his face as he took in my bruised jaw. He seemed devastated at the thought that the interaction I had with him might have had something to do with Robin's outburst. I remembered the feel of his arm around my shoulder and how safe and secure I felt. It was the opposite of how I felt the other night with Robin, which only helped me confirm that I was doing the right thing by ending it for good.