Finaly My Heart's Desire (Meant for Me Book 2) (14 page)

I looked at his brother. "Did he really tell them?"

Brock nodded.

I looked at Shane. "Did you tell them how it happened?"

He nodded.

I glanced at my dad to see if he was hearing all this, but we were speaking quietly, and he was distracted by the television.

"What'd they say?" I asked.

He shrugged. "They said they'd like to see that guy get what he deserves for doing something like that."

I took a second to contemplate how I felt about meeting his parents. "I guess there's nothing for me to hide, then," I said.

He smiled. "So you coming?"

Chapter 17

I went to Shane's house to meet the Rollins family that Christmas evening. I couldn't help but compare them to Robin's family, and the differences were astounding. They were just regular, middle-class people. They lived in an average house situated in an average neighborhood. There was nothing fancy or pretentious about them at all. I expected that I would be a part of the Buller's upper class mentality, and part of me thought I'd miss it, but spending time with the Rollins family was fun and refreshing.

Shane's aunt (his mom's sister) and her family were visiting from out of town, so they had a house full, which shocked me. None of them mentioned or even acted like they noticed my bruise, though. I stayed over there for a couple of hours before Shane gave me a ride home. I'd planned on sleeping in my own apartment, but I decided to stay another night at my parents' house.

He didn't walk me to the door. He saw that Micah and Carly were still there and said he'd let me get inside to my family. I thought he might try to kiss me, but he didn't do that either Well, he sort of did. He grabbed my hand off the console and kissed the back of it much the same as he did that night at the party. I acted real chipper when I said goodbye as if it didn't faze me one bit that a kiss on the hand was all I got, but deep down I wondered why.

He told me right before I got out of the truck that he had to help his dad with a remodeling project the next few days but that he would be in touch and definitely see me for my birthday on Tuesday. It seemed as though he was creating some distance, and I got out of the truck feeling slightly rejected and confused.

I spent the next few days with my family. One of my dad's employees had bought his wife a new car for Christmas and was selling her old one. She had taken good care of it and offered it to us at a good price. It perfectly suited my needs, and I was happy and relieved to have transportation despite the fact that it wasn't a brand new Audi.

I had a good time hanging out at my parents' house. I read a lot and helped out with some things they wanted to do at the Happy House. I thought I would go back to my apartment, but I wound up wanting a little more time to get myself together and figure out where I wanted to go from here.

I decided to pick up a job application at the library. At this point, that's what felt the closest to my heart, and that's what I had to go on. I had a good conversation with someone while I was there who seemed to think I wouldn't have trouble getting a job.

I wanted to share all my news with Shane, and it bugged me that I hadn't heard from him. He finally called Monday to see where I wanted to eat the next night. I told him my favorite restaurant was Velvet Meg's. It was a small, gourmet place that was owned and operated by Chef Meg White. She was a famous Food Network chef, but my dad knew her well and could always get a reservation at her restaurant.

Shane had never been there and said he was excited to try it. I told him I would take care of reservations since they were hard to come by, and he said he would pick me up the next evening at 6pm.

I had a great birthday. My friends and family brought me out to lunch at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. There were about twenty of us, and everyone brought gifts and sang happy birthday, making me feel like a total princess. It was common knowledge among all of them that I had to give back a lot of my clothes and accessories, so I was showered with cheaper, but still wonderful versions of some of my favorite lost items.

I had some great new clothes and jewelry to choose from for my date with Shane that evening. I had never been so nervous for anything in my life. For a while there, I was under the impression that he liked me, but he created this chasm between us the last few days, and now I was thinking I had been wrong about him liking me in the first place.

I dreaded being rejected by him again, but I didn't dread it badly enough to call off the date. I got dressed in denim leggings and a pink sweater my mom and dad got me for my birthday. It was similar to one of my favorites that I'd given back to Robin, and I liked my new one even better. Chelsea had gotten me a set of long necklaces and bracelets that went perfectly with the outfit.

My bruise had faded considerably, and it didn't take much makeup to cause it to virtually disappear. I styled my hair in loose waves and put it half-up with some pieces pulled down to frame my face. My family went on and on about how beautiful I looked when I went downstairs. The compliments were extremely nice, but I couldn't shake the nervous feeling I had about Shane pulling away.

He arrived right on time. He was dressed in black slacks and a light blue button up shirt with black pinstripes. He had on a black jacket, but no tie. He knew what he was doing wearing that color blue. His eyes reflected the color, causing them to glow, and making me want to come undone.

My mom took a picture of us before we left, which was extremely embarrassing. Thomas and Fuzzy were standing by when she took it, and they got in on a second picture, making it a full-blown photo shoot. She must have text them to Carly and Micah because I got a text from Carly right when I sat in Shane's truck that said how great we looked and that she hoped we had a good time. I replied with a quick 'thank you' before stashing my phone in my purse.

Velvet Meg's was a small restaurant with a romantic setting. We sat at a candle-lit table for two in the back. My nerves were on edge, but I did my best to keep up with the conversation, which was mostly surface level stuff. We spoke about my birthday, how I had lunch with my family earlier that day and how they replaced a lot of the items I had given back to Robin.

"I was thinking about that situation the other day," he said.

"What situation?" I asked. "Me and Robin?"

He nodded as he chewed.

"Why were you thinking about that?"

"I took my mom to the movies recently, and there was this family in front of us. The mom was in the middle and this little boy was sitting next to her. Just before the movie started, this other couple comes in, and another lady—someone the boy didn't know—sits right next to him. I watched as the people sat down, and the boy, obviously feeling scared, huddled up next to his mother. He pressed up against her, laying his head on her shoulder. The only problem was, she had on this sweater with metal spikes all over the shoulders." He shrugged. "She wasn't punk rock or anything; she was just a normal lady. The spikes were meant to be fashionable, but they were half inch, pointed metal things all over the shoulders of her sweater."

I watched Shane as he gestured with his hand, showing me the size and location of the spikes.

"So this little boy," he continued, "being scared of the perfectly normal lady sitting on the other side of him, spent the whole movie with his face pressed up against his mothers spiky sweater."

I understood perfectly how that applied to Robin and me. I was so scared of a life without Robin that I spent entirely too long pressed up against a spiky sweater.

I smiled at Shane. "I guess I'm starting to see that the lady on the other side of me isn't so bad," I said. "Dad helped me buy a used Honda, and I picked up an application at the library the other day. It seems like I have a pretty good shot at getting a job there."

"A librarian?" he asked.

I nodded, and he let out a discouraged sigh.

"What's wrong with that?" I asked.

"Nothing. It's just that…" He hesitated. "I'm afraid it makes you even more irresistible. I can't imagine anything more appealing than a hot librarian."

And in a moment of bravery, I said, "I'm sort of
trying
to be appealing to you, if you haven't noticed."

He set down his fork and used his hand to massage his eyebrows, scrunching up his face as he was thinking of something distressing.

"I guess we need to talk about that," he said.

My heart sank. Here it was, the moment where he told me he was sorry about leading me on, but that he couldn't be with me. He'd probably tell me exactly why, which would hurt.

"Okay Emily, here's the thing," he said. "You're just getting out of a long-term relationship."

My expression was blank, but I nodded.

"And it wasn't the healthiest relationship."

That stung, but I nodded again.

"I know you've said that you're okay with the timing of this and everything, but I'm not sure you're ready for what I'd be asking of you."

I shook my head, showing him my confusion.

"You need something casual," he said. "You need to play the field a little bit—see what's out there. You can't go from one committed relationship straight to another. And the more time I spend with you, the more I realize that I'm not up for anything
but
a committed relationship with you. That's why I had to leave you alone the last few days. I want to spend every last second of my free time with you. I want to know everything about you. I want you to be mine alone." He paused and shook his head regretfully. "But the last thing you need right now is some guy getting all possessive of you."

"Are you saying you would hurt me?" I asked.

He cocked his head at me as if wondering how I could ever think such a thing. "Never. I could never hurt you. I just don't want to share you. I want you to be mine, and I know that's not what you need right now."

"How do you know what I need? When did I ever say I wanted to date a bunch of guys?"

"You didn't have to say it. Everyone just knows that's what you need after everything you've been through."

"Who's everyone?" I asked.

"Your dad for one. He certainly doesn't want you rushing into anything."

I let out a humorless laugh. "So you and my dad have decided that I get to miss out on you just because I was stupid and kept my face pressed up against a spiky sweater too long?" I asked, incredulously.

That made him smile. He reached across the table and put his hand on mine. "Emily, I barely know you, and I have never in my life felt for anyone the way I feel for you. Let me be clear that if I continue seeing you, it will
not
be on a casual basis. I have nothing but long-term feelings for you. I love your family and would just as soon be a part of it one day." He paused and smiled at me, sending waves of pure joy coursing through my veins. Then his expression became serious again, making my heart drop. "I just assumed we'd be parting ways after tonight," he said. "I just didn't think you'd be ready for what I wanted from you. I want you to take a minute to think about what I'm saying."

"Are you gonna lock me in a room?" I asked.

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Of course not."

"Are you gonna prevent me from getting a job?"

"No."

"Are you gonna get mad at me if I hang out with friends or study too long for a final?"

He let out a laugh. "No."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "So basically you're just saying you want to be my boyfriend."

"Yes. But I don't want you to have other boyfriends." He paused. "Ever again."

I shifted my head to offer him a shy smile. "You like me, Shane Rollins?"

He scrunched up his face and massaged his eyebrows again before smiling and shaking his head at me. "That's an understatement, Emily."

"Do you have a crush on me?" I asked, teasing him.

His smile broadened. "A huge one."

We stared at each other for a few seconds.

"And you were just going to leave me alone because you thought I needed to date a bunch of guys?"

"I didn't think it was fair of me to try to scoop you up after all this crap you've been through."

"Did I not do a good enough job explaining to you that I literally spent years of my life wishing desperately that you would scoop me up?"

"Do you still wish that?"

"Just as desperately as I did when I was a kid." The hint of a smile touched the corner of my mouth. "You definitely don't have permission to leave me for my sake."

"Well, then I'm not leaving you at all," he said.

Just then, Meg White came to the table to wish me a happy birthday and make sure we enjoyed our meal. I introduced Shane as my boyfriend just for fun, and loved seeing the way he shook his head and shot me a knowing smile because of it. She'd met Robin in the past, but thankfully didn't skip a beat when I attached the title of boyfriend to someone new. We spoke to her for about five minutes, and finished up with our meals soon after she left our table.