Finding Dr. Right (Contemporary Medical Romance) (6 page)

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want Matty hurt. Physically or emotionally.”

“And you think I plan on doing either?”

Catherine quietly studied the man in front of her, saw the bewilderment and concern etched on the angular planes of his face. She took a deep breath and shifted from one foot to the other. “No, not deliberately. I just don’t want him hurt.”

“Catherine, you and I haven’t exactly gotten along, but do you honestly think I would do anything to hurt your son?” He searched her face for several seconds then let out an exasperated sigh. “You really do! I cannot believe this!”

“Nathan, I…I need to go.”

“Catherine, wait.”

“I need to go,” she repeated, more forceful this time as she turned around, feeling his stare in the middle of her back as she walked away.

“Pick it up! You’re skating like an old lady!”

The bellow echoed off the ice and straight down Nathan’s spine. He gritted his teeth, dug the toe of his blade into the ice and pushed off, the stick held like a weapon in his gloved hands. A speck of black flew into his vision and he reached out, sending the puck flying off his stick with a grunt. He paused, sweat pouring down his back as he watched the puck speed past Alec Kolchak and into the net.

“That’s more like it! Now keep going!”

Nathan muttered under his breath. Ian Donovan stopped next to him, nudging his arm before skating off again. Nathan watched the younger player, his movements fluid beneath the heavy gear. Good-natured joking had been going on since the start of practice a few hours ago, but Nathan was no longer in the mood for it. In fact, he hadn’t been in the mood from the start.

Sweat drenched him from head to toe, the equipment that he had worn with ease suddenly weighed as much as armor and his left leg had turned to jelly after twenty minutes on the ice. His knee throbbed painfully as he pushed off and skated to center ice, and he again questioned his wisdom in convincing the doctor to release him.

“Damn.” He rubbed his face against his shoulder to wipe away the sweat and looked up in time to see another player come barreling toward him. Nathan crouched instinctively and reached out with his stick, stealing the puck with natural grace before racing off to the net. He pulled back and shot, missing by a few inches as he skated past the pipes.

A crushing weight hit him from behind, propelling him into the glass with a jaw-shuddering thud. The whistle blew, signaling the end of practice. Nathan glared at Donovan, resisting the urge to bodycheck him only because Kolchak came out of the net and skated between them with a warning look.

“Not cool, Donovan.” Alec’s soft voice carried only far enough for the three of them to hear. The rookie player looked at each of them with a smirk on his face, saying nothing before skating away. “The kid has no brains.”

“No, but he’s got the talent.”

Alec reached up and tilted the mask back on his head, revealing wet brown hair and a flushed face. “Maybe, maybe not. He’s too hotheaded for his own good, either way. And he doesn’t like that you’re back, either.”

“Yeah, well. The way I feel, I may not be back for long. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this old.”

Alec’s laughter was loud and instant, and he slapped Nathan on the back with a gloved hand as they skated to the edge of the ice. “You and me both. So, you expecting company?”

“Company? No.”

“Well, I think you’ve got some.” He pointed to a row of seats off to the side of the practice rink, close enough to watch the players but far enough away to be unnoticed. Nathan turned to look then groaned.

“What the hell is she doing here?” He didn’t even try to keep the frustration from his voice, earning him a wry look from his friend.

“New fan club, maybe?”

“Humph. Firing squad would be more like it.”

Alec patted him on the shoulder then stepped off the ice, a smile firmly in place. “Seems like we all have one of them these days. At least yours isn’t a reporter. Go see what she wants.”

“Just like you always see what AJ wants when she shows up?”

Alec threw him a look that would have sent a weaker person to his knees, then walked away, leaving Nathan alone at the side of the ice. He watched the goalie’s retreating back, then turned in Catherine’s direction, away from the die-hard fans who showed up for practices. Muttering under his breath because he would probably regret it, he skated to the other side of the rink. He stopped and leaned on his stick, staring up at her in silence.

She looked different today, dressed in jeans and a baggy sweater that hid all of her figure. Her blond hair fell across her shoulders in thick waves, and a shyness hovered over her. As Nathan watched, she reached up and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear then straightened in her seat. With that one move, the shyness evaporated, replaced by an all-business attitude. Nathan sighed and called himself an idiot. It didn’t matter that she seemed to have a softer side; all she let him see was the barrier that closed her off from the human race.

He continued to stare at her in silence, refusing to initiate any conversation. There was a brief moment of satisfaction when she squirmed under his gaze, but even that was short-lived when she remained silent. Nathan shook his head and turned to leave, not willing to guess at what she wanted.

“Wait!”

He almost didn’t but the hint of desperation in her voice stopped him. With a sigh he turned and leaned on the wall, fixing her with a blank stare. Part of him was gratified to see she had at least stood, but he refused to speak until she came closer. He wouldn’t give in on that.

Catherine looked at him then away, her eyes darting around the rink as if searching for help. Nathan watched her struggle before she finally walked down the steps and met him at the wall, stopping a safe distance away.

“I…I saw that Brian cleared you.”

Nathan raised his eyebrows and continued to stare, saying nothing, knowing she hadn’t come down here to say that. She squirmed and looked away, then straightened into a stiff pose before facing him again.

“I can tell you’re favoring your knee. You should put ice on it and keep it up.”

“Why thank you, Dr. Wilson. I was just about to do that.” She flinched at the coolness of his tone but he didn’t care. He was hot, he was tired and his knee throbbed so much that all he wanted to do was go soak it and wrap it in ice, just like she suggested. “Any other advice you care to give me? Free of charge, I assume, since this is your visit.”

“I…no.”

“Fine.” Nathan turned and started to skate away, wondering what it was about this particular woman that got under his skin. Yes, she was attractive. Yes, there was something about her that drew him. He didn’t know what, but he had the distinct feeling that it would be lethal if he ever discovered it.

“Well, goodbye to you, too, Mr. Conners.”

Nathan froze, stunned at the sarcasm in her voice. The tension that had been building in him collected into a single dangerous outburst. The blood drained from her face when he turned and climbed over the wall, his gait awkward as his skate blades clanked against the rubber floor.

“That’s it. That is it!” He closed the distance between them as she backed against the wall of the penalty box. He tossed his stick and gloves down then tore the helmet from his head, throwing that down, as well. “What is with you, lady? What have I done to you to make you drive me nuts like this?”

“I…I…” Catherine’s voice trailed off as he leaned closer, placing a hand against the glass on either side of her, trapping her between the wall and his body. He saw the slight trembling of her body and the heated flush tingeing her cheeks, watched her tongue dart out and lick her lips. The tightening in his body was instant and powerful. His voice dropped dangerously low as he focused his gaze on her mouth.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

She shook her head, staring up at him with those wide eyes and parted lips, and Nathan lost all patience, all restraint. He reached up with one hand and slipped it behind her neck, pulling her closer as he lowered his face to hers and claimed her lips with one swift move. She stiffened under his touch and her hands pushed at his chest, once, before she leaned against him.

Nathan sensed her surrender, felt her lips open at his invitation and he wrapped his other arm around her. As he pulled her more tightly against him, his tongue swept the sweet fire of her mouth. He groaned against the desire flaring inside him and silently cursed the heavy gear that prevented him from completely feeling the curves of her soft body against his.

Catherine leaned into him, caught up in the tide that swept over her. His grip on her neck was strong yet gentle, the sweep of his thumb under her ear almost as exciting as the warmth of his mouth on hers. She fisted her hand into the damp cloth of his practice jersey, falling more deeply into the kiss, all sense of reason gone. A hushed rumble surrounded her, growing louder, and she wondered briefly what was causing the noise. A loud yell penetrated her foggy senses and she jumped, breaking the contact with Nathan and looking around guiltily.

Heat flooded her face as she realized the rumble was the hoots and catcalls coming from the group of fans witnessing their steamy embrace. The loud yell had been bellowed by an older man built like a tree trunk. A ragged scar that slashed across his face glowed red as he stared at the two of them. Catherine pushed against Nathan, suddenly mortified.

“Conners! Are you joining us?” The reedy voice quivered with impatience and humor, and Catherine hung her head in embarrassment. She had just let herself be kissed, thoroughly kissed, in public. In front of strangers!

No, she amended, she hadn’t
let
him — she had been a willing participant. Too willing.

“In a minute!” Catherine winced at the frustration in Nathan’s voice, still refusing to look at him until he forced her chin up with one long finger. “Do you have to leave? I mean, will you stay here until we’re done? It won’t be long.”

“I should go.”

“Catherine, just please stay here. I won’t be long.”

“I…” She looked into his eyes and felt her resolve melt under the heat of his liquid gaze. “All right.”

“Good.” He leaned down and kissed her again, hard and quick, before walking away. Catherine watched as he left, amazed at the power and grace in his moves, and wondered what she had just gotten herself into.

H
ow hopeless could one person be? The thought went through Catherine’s mind as she checked her watch again. She was still sitting in the deserted rink, waiting for Nathan to come out.

The memory of his kiss was sharp. A flash of heat warmed her as she recalled the taste of him, the comforting feel of being wrapped in his arms. She shifted in the seat, trying to let her impatience crowd out the memory.

She had swallowed some of her abundant pride and come to the practice to apologize for the way she had acted the other day. There had been no reason for her to treat Nathan that way, not when all he did was help Matty. Catherine had struck out at him in fear, and she owed him an apology. Her coming here had absolutely nothing to do with the unwelcome attraction she felt for Nathan. Just like it had nothing to do with the way Matty had suddenly come to life since his involvement in the sports camp. It had been the result of a polite streak, that was all.

She pushed her hair out of her face and sighed. Who was she kidding? Nathan Conners brought out a part of her she was afraid to acknowledge — a vulnerable desire to be wanted, to be taken care of. Her sensible side screamed out repeated warnings, telling her to not even think along those lines. The idea that she
wanted
someone to lean on in the first place was sobering enough. For that someone to be Nathan Conners was insane.

“Crazy,” she muttered. Sitting here waiting for him was crazy. Having warm, fuzzy thoughts about him was stupid. She grabbed her purse, determined to leave before he came out, and stood up only to see him walking toward her. A lump formed in her throat as she watched him, his square jaw and high cheekbones and long legs closing the distance between them. His hair was slicked back off his forehead, damp from the shower.

He flashed her his crooked smile and her eyes caught sight of his chipped tooth, bringing back the memory of their kiss. She looked away, embarrassed at the warmth that surged through her. “Stupid. Stupid, stupid.”

“What?”

She could feel Nathan’s eyes on her as he got closer and she shook her head, looking up in time to see him leaning forward, his lips dangerously close to hers. She ducked her head and took a hasty step back. His lips barely brushed her cheek, soft and warm, and she swallowed nervously.

Silence dropped between them. Catherine cleared her throat and shifted her weight from one foot to the other, not sure how to act or what to say.

“I —”

“You —”

They started to talk at the same time then stopped, studying each other. Catherine pulled her gaze away from his crooked smile and cleared her throat again as he spoke.

“You look nervous about something.”

“Me? Oh.” Catherine searched for something intelligent to say, the liquid heat of his gaze making it difficult to think. She nodded, shook her head, nodded again and felt like the world’s biggest idiot when he chuckled. She tried to act indignant, to come up with a cute remark and failed miserably. Nathan stepped closer and studied her with his lion’s eyes.

“Am I making you nervous?”

“Yes!” The admission flew from her mouth before she could stop it, causing Nathan to laugh harder.

“Why do I make you nervous?”

Because you make me think stupid thoughts. Because you make me feel things I have no right to feel.
The answers swarmed through her mind and she mercilessly stomped them. Nothing would make her admit those weaknesses out loud, especially not to him. She shook her head and searched for a way to change the subject.

“I wanted to apologize for the way I’ve treated you. Last week, and the other day at the camp. I…this last year with Matty has been…difficult, and I…I just wanted to say I was sorry for taking it out on you.” There. The apology was out, she’d said what she had come here to say. Plus some things she hadn’t meant to. She stepped around him, but his hand snaked out and wrapped around her arm, stopping her midstride.

“Was that it?” His voice was soft, husky. She turned her head and made the mistake of looking into his eyes, saw his heated stare as he watched her. “You just came to apologize?”

Catherine pulled her arm from his grasp and wrapped her arms around her middle, wishing that her stomach would unknot itself. She nervously swallowed and nodded. Her voice came out as a squeak. “Why else would I come here?”

Nathan ran a hand through his hair and shifted his weight, studying her with eyes that seemed to see right through her. She swallowed again, knowing that she should move away. Her reflexes were too slow, though, and she didn’t see him move, only felt his arms come around her as his mouth swiftly descended on hers, warm and insistent. She softened under his kiss, then gasped as he pulled away and stared down at her.

“What about that?”

“I…that is…” Catherine fumbled for something to say, still reeling from the onslaught of emotions the brief kiss had unleashed on her. She gripped her purse tighter, thinking that would somehow help her hold on reality. “What about it?”

Of all the reactions she had expected, amusement was not one of them. His rich laughter caught her by surprise, wrapped around her like a warm cloak of comfort. Her face heated and she stepped away, once again caught off guard and unsure how to act. Only around him was she like this, so uncertain, and the confusion made her feel worse. It had to be unhealthy to feel so lost, which was just one more reason to stay away from him.

“I think we need to talk.”

“About what? There’s nothing —”

“Sure there is. C’mon.” He reached out and folded his hand around hers, gently pulling her toward the exit. She tried to dig her feet in and stop, but the worn sneakers offered no traction and she only succeeded in stumbling.

“Nathan, what are —”

“Shh.” He ignored her protests, leading her outside where the cold air swept over them. An instant chill descended over Catherine, made her even more aware of the heat that radiated from his hold on her. The chill increased when he stopped at the curb, only this time it had nothing to do with the temperature.

Nathan dropped her hand and fumbled with the motorcycle that was parked in front of them. He turned around and held out a helmet, obviously expecting her to take it. She looked from his outstretched hands to the motorcycle then at him.

“You’re insane!”

“No, I’m not. C’mon, put on the helmet.” He lifted the helmet higher, urging her to take it. She stepped backward.

“It’s February! It’s forty degrees out, freezing, and you’re driving a motorcycle!”

Nathan shrugged, indifferent, and stepped closer. “I’m from northern Minnesota. This is considered warm. Now here, put this on.” He placed the helmet on her head and adjusted the chin strap before she realized what he was doing. She shook her head and reached up to take it off, but was stopped when he gently took both of her hands in his. He lowered his head so his eyes were level with hers and stared at her, searching. His gaze was warm, serious, and Catherine fought her sudden nervousness.

She could handle him when he was joking or when he was cocky. At least, she told herself she could. But the look he was giving her now, the fire in his gaze that seared through her, this was new to her. It filled her with trepidation and fear, and something else she didn’t want to examine. All her survival instincts screamed to get away from him but she was helpless to move, locked in his gaze like a frightened animal. She wondered how much time she had left before he robbed her of what little common sense she still possessed.

“Come with me, Catherine.” His husky voice hypnotized her and she felt herself nodding, agreeing to the quiet demand. He smiled and stepped away, breaking the spell so abruptly that Catherine wondered if she’d imagined the whole thing.

Nathan stepped off the curb and straddled the bike, bringing it to life with a powerful kick before motioning for her to get on. She stared at him for a split second, wondering if she had any choice left at all, then climbed on and wrapped her arms around him.

Catherine released her death grip from Nathan’s waist and tried to flex her hands, wincing at the cold numbness that had seeped into her joints. “I c-c-can’t feel my f-f-fingers.”

“Let me see.” Nathan climbed off the bike and removed his helmet in a single graceful move then reached out and took her hands in his. He rubbed them lightly then pulled them to his mouth, blowing softly. A wave of heat washed over Catherine and she yanked her hands away, shoving them into her coat pockets.

“N-never mind. They’re fine.” She tried to climb off the motorcycle, stumbling as her foot caught on the kickstand. Strong hands reached out and steadied her, helping her regain her balance and making her feel as graceful as a three-legged elephant. She shrugged off his help and straightened, pointedly ignoring his expression of wry amusement as she looked around.

They had been driving aimlessly for little more than an hour, finally stopping on a side road that wound through the reservoir. The sound of water rushing over a man-made waterfall echoed around them, its noise loud against the silence of the surrounding woods. In a few months, when the weather warmed and the trees began to bud, the area would be filled with people eagerly welcoming spring. But it was deserted now, desolate with the bare trees and patches of brown grass. Catherine noticed the No Trespassing signs and wondered why Nathan had stopped here.

“Let’s go for a walk.” He didn’t look at her, didn’t stop to see if she would follow, just started walking. A shiver stole over Catherine at the sound of crunching grass under her feet; she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to shake the emptiness that wanted to grip her. Nathan stopped and looked down at her with an unreadable expression.

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

No. I’m lonely and scared, and I don’t know why.
She pushed the thought away and forced a smile. “Me? I’m fine. Why?”

He continued to watch her then shrugged and turned away. She started to follow again, then stopped when she noticed he was climbing out onto the dam.

“Where are you going?”

“There’s something I want you to see,” he called over his shoulder.

“But you can’t go out there!”

Nathan stopped and turned around, his hands on his hips in a pose of pure masculine frustration. “Why can’t I?”

“Because you’re not supposed to, that’s why. See that sign?” Catherine pointed to the sign clearly posted at the railing, warning trespassers away from the dam. She had no trouble hearing his sigh as he walked back to her.

“And do you always follow the rules? Never mind, I already know the answer.” He held his hand out, clearly expecting her to take it. “Forget about the rules, Catherine.”

The tone in his quiet voice carried so many meanings, all of them terrifying. She saw the quiet reassurance in his eyes and looked down at his outstretched hand and wanted to reach out and grab it, feel his long fingers intertwine with hers. She wanted to forget the rules, to forget fear and responsibility and duty. For once she wanted to live, to do something just because. She pulled her right hand from her pocket and willed it to reach out, but let it drop at the last second.

“I can’t.”

Nathan studied her with a sadness that disappeared so quickly she thought she imagined it. Silence hung between them. Catherine lowered her head, afraid to meet his direct gaze, not willing to acknowledge the sudden guilt she felt.

“You asked for it.”

“Wh —” Catherine shrieked as Nathan rushed toward her, scooping her in his arms and lifting her in one fluid movement. They were halfway across the dam before she realized what happened. A surprised yelp escaped her when she looked and saw nothing but water more than fifty feet below her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.

A deep rumble shook his chest, and she realized he was laughing. She squeezed her eyes shut and tightened her grip, unable to see any humor in the fact that one misstep could cause them to topple over the edge of the dam to an icy death below.

“You can let go now. We’re across.”

Catherine realized they had stopped moving and she slowly peeled one eye open, surprised to see they had reached the other side safely. A sigh of relief escaped her and she loosened her grip, expecting Nathan to lower her to her feet. She looked up and felt the breath catch in her throat at the intensity of the gaze he fixed on her. Her eyes darted to the soft fullness of his lips and she wondered briefly if he would kiss her again. She looked away in embarrassment when the corners of his mouth twitched in amusement.

“I wasn’t going to drop you.” The laughter in his voice made her face grow warmer and she mumbled something unintelligible, not sure herself of what she said. He released his hold on her legs and lowered her feet to the ground, letting her body slide down his, so close and slow she could tell that she wasn’t the only one affected by their nearness.

“Nathan, I —”

“Shh.” He wrapped his hand around hers and tugged, pulling her behind him with a mischievous wink that sent tingles straight to her nerve endings. “I want to show you something.”

Catherine bit down on her lower lip. There were so many questions she wanted to suddenly ask him, but she was afraid. Afraid of the questions, afraid of the answers he might give her, afraid that she even wanted to ask them. She lowered her eyes to concentrate on her steps and felt her face heat when she realized she was staring at a prime piece of his anatomy. Her embarrassment fled, replaced by guilt when her gaze dropped and she noticed he was favoring his left leg. Probably from carrying her. She stopped midstride and pulled her hand from his.

“You’re limping!”

Nathan turned and fixed her with a look of impatience that would have made her laugh if she hadn’t felt so guilty. He closed the distance between them, took her hand again and started walking. “It was a rough first practice.”

“But you shouldn’t be —”

“Quiet. Now come on.” He tugged but she refused to move.