Finding Ever After (35 page)

           
“Is it true?” I just shrugged, not sure what he wanted me to say. What
difference would it make now if I told him? I was done with all of this. “Why
the hell wouldn’t you tell me she was harassing you?”

           
“Maybe because you’ve been an ass and keep throwing Kaylie in her face. Can you
really blame her for not coming to you?” Ace defended me once more.

           
He cursed under his breath, and then his eyes found mine again. “I didn’t know
what she was doing. I thought you really were jealous.” It almost sounded like
disappointment in his voice. I tried to search his face but he looked away. It
was the first time I’d ever seen him so stripped of his confidence.

           
“
Ky
, baby, are you coming?” Kaylie appeared again,
looking smug like she knew he came out here to defend her, but as soon as Kyden
whipped his head around, her expression changed drastically. She was probably
being fixed with that intimidating glare I had gotten a glimpse at not ten
minutes ago. “What’s wrong baby?” Her voice wavered.

           
“What the fuck do you think is wrong
baby
?” He sneered, not an ounce of
affection in his tone.

           
“What did she say
Ky
? Is she
feeding you more lies trying to get you to feel sorry for her?”

           
“Shut your fucking mouth. I don’t want to hear you say one damn word about
her.” He stalked toward her and she visibly cowered. “You seriously said shit
about her mom? After I told you that she died?” Her lack of response didn’t
stop him and he completely shredded her. “That’s low even for you. You’re a
spiteful bitch and whatever you think we had is over. I’m done with you and I
want you gone, like fucking now.”

           
 It wasn’t pretty to witness him berating her, and when he was done, she
was barely holding back tears. She didn’t have any fight left in her at that
point. With her shoulders sunk and her head bowed she turned and walked away,
not a word or sound other than a choked sob she tried to hide. It wasn’t nearly
as satisfying as I thought it would be. I actually felt sorry for her.

           
I couldn’t blame her for falling for
him,
I was guilty
of that too, so I also couldn’t blame her for trying to hold onto him. She was
spiteful and cruel, but she just had her heart annihilated, and that was more
than even she deserved.

           
I felt awkward standing there, but before I could slip away Kyden turned back
to face me. All of the anger had melted away. He let out a deep breath, and ran
a hand through his hair, leaving it messy and just the way I liked it. He
looked good, really good. That’s not what I should have been thinking in that
moment, but I couldn’t help myself.

           
I was too busy noticing the way the way his hair fell and wondering what it
would be like to run my own fingers through it that I failed to notice when Ace
slipped away. I was left alone with Kyden, and even though the party was
carrying on just down the hall, it felt like we were the only two around.

           
Fifteen minutes ago I was crushed because he was with Kaylie, ten minutes ago I
was mad at him for believing her lies, three minutes ago I was appalled at the
way he ripped her apart without hesitation and now? Now I just wanted him to
keep looking at me the way he was, like I was the only person who mattered.

           
“Can we talk?” I just nodded.

           
“Not here, I don’t want to be interrupted.”
I let him
take my hand and lead me into his bedroom. When he shut the door behind us my
heart rate kicked up, and I knew that after tonight things would be different,
I just didn’t know if that was going to be better or worse.

           
Neither one of us spoke at first. I stood in the middle of his room, taking it
in. It was the first time I had seen the inside and it wasn’t what I’d
expected, except for the music paraphernalia all over. There were no posters of
naked girls,
no
clutter or dirty laundry on the floor.
It was surprisingly neat, but very masculine. Dark colors, not a lot of
furnishings apart from a large, comfy looking, wood frame bed, a nightstand and
a dresser.

           
He had a flat screen mounted on his wall, with yet another Xbox and what
appeared to be a pretty nice sound system hooked up as well. There were a couple
random band posters, but other than that the walls were bare. I saw a
guitar,
well actually more than one guitar, but this one,
the way it was displayed, gave me the impression is was special. I knew it had
to ‘Red’ his other baby, besides his bike. The color may have been a giveaway
as well.

           
There was also a small bookshelf near the TV, loaded with DVDs and books. I was
incredibly curious about what he liked to read so I moved closer. Once again,
what I saw wasn’t what I expected. They were real books, legitimate,
substantial books. I was impressed to see a few classics as well some
biographies and then a few fantasy and science fiction. Many of them were on my
own bookshelves or e reader.

           
Kyden just stood next to the bed and watched me peruse all of his belongings.
The whole time he was silent, and if I hadn’t been so absorbed in finding out
more about him, I probably would have felt uncomfortable having him watch me so
intensely. He was the one who asked me in here to talk, so until he started
talking, I was going to take advantage of this opportunity and keep satisfying
my curiosity.

           
“I’m sorry Princess.” His words put an end to my perusal. I shifted my
attention from his movie collection to where he was standing just inside the
room.

           
“For?”
I had no intention of making this easy for him.

           
“I guess there’s a lot I should be apologizing for.” He ran his hand through
his hair again, and I was beginning to realize it was a nervous gesture, but
what did he have to be nervous about? For a second I thought he had changed his
mind about talking. He just stood there looking away from me, but then he
sighed and something changed in him. It was like he made some decision and a
weight was lifted off him.

           
“Princess, I can’t do it anymore.”

           
“Do what?” I was so lost, but afraid of where this was going. He said out in
the hall that he’d had enough.

           
“Act like there isn’t anything going on here.
You and me.”

           
“We’re friends.” I said hesitantly and he let out a bitter laugh.

           
“You and I are not friends, not even close. In fact, there hasn’t been a single
moment since we met, Princess, that we’ve been friends. If you really believe
otherwise, you’re lying to yourself.” I thought I was prepared for the
rejection, but nothing could have prepared me for the sting of his words. His
dismissal hurt more than I wanted to admit. I felt the moisture building in my
eyes. Rather than humiliate myself more by letting him see me cry, I turned to
escape while I was still able to hold the tears back, but he reached out and
grabbed my hand before I made it two steps.

           
“Wait, you don’t understand.” I certainly wasn’t going to argue that. I didn‘t
understand what was going on. I was foolish enough to think that somehow I
really was important to him. After the way he reacted out there and then threw
Kaylie out I let myself believe what Ace told me. That wasn’t the case though.
We weren’t friends.

           
He turned me around and before I could ask him to explain anything, his lips
were on mine. They were soft and gentle as he kissed me tentatively. His hand
caressed my cheek as his mouth moved against mine. The last ounce of my
resistance crumbled and I kissed him back. Then just as quickly as it happened,
it was over. He pulled away and I was left breathless and wanting more.

           
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that Princess. I’ve thought about
how your lips would feel and taste a thousand times and I have to say that was
even better than I imagined.” His words affected me almost as much as the kiss
itself. I think my knees would have given out if he hadn’t been holding onto
me. “Just so you know,” he leaned his face in close to mine again. “I plan on
doing it again,” his lips feathered over mine once more. “
and
again.” He punctuated it with another brief kiss.

           
“I have no objections to that.” My voice was a breathy whisper and he chuckled.

           
“But not right now.”
Yes right now.

           
“Why not?”
I sulked. All I wanted to do for the rest
of my life was
be
kissed by him. The grin that took
over his face said he knew exactly what I was thinking, but instead of giving
me what I wanted, he released his hold on me and sat down on the bed. He patted
the mattress next to him. I frowned but took a seat.

           
“As much as I would love to spend the rest of the night with you in my arms and
our lips pressed together, we need to talk. Believe it or not that is why I
brought you in here. I didn’t intend to kiss you silly until after, but I
couldn’t help myself when I saw you were about to walk out of here.” Being
reminded of how his words had hurt me was enough to clear the fog in my head,
left behind by his kisses.

           
“What did you mean when you said we were never friends?”

           
“I couldn’t be your friend then and I still can’t, because it’s not enough. It
could never be enough with you. I want everything.” My breath caught and my
heart thudded in my chest. “I want you to be mine and I’m tired of pretending I
don’t. I tried, I did, but there hasn’t been a single second where I didn’t
want you. It’s all I’ve been able to think about since you fell into my lap.”

           
 I was struggling to believe what I was hearing. I had imagined him saying
those things over and over in my head, but now that it was actually happening,
I was both excited and terrified. Did it mean what I wanted it to?

           
“You said you couldn’t give me what I needed. You told me you didn’t do
relationships.” Oh crap, was he even talking about a relationship? Maybe he
just wanted to make out with me and see where it went and now I probably just
freaked him out by bringing up a relationship. But he said
everything,
everything had to be more than that. Didn’t it?

           
“I know that’s what I said and I know I’ve been an asshole to you. I just
didn’t know what to do. You completely turned my life upside down. I loved the
partying, the girls, all of it. I was content with everything I had, until you
showed up. Everything changed the moment I met you. I couldn’t get that crazy
hair and sweet smile of yours out of my head, and your eyes. Those beautiful
fucking eyes saw right through me. Then there was your fiery attitude. You told
me day
one, that
my shit wasn’t going to work on you.
I think I was toast then. I just didn’t realize it because I’m a stubborn
jackass.” I wasn’t going to argue with that.

           
“I did everything I could to screw with you. I thought it would make everything
easier if I could just prove you were like all the other girls and get you to
sleep with me. I think I knew all along it wouldn’t work though, you’re not
like anyone I’ve ever met.” He leaned his forehead against mine and closed his
eyes for a moment. I sat there, unmoving, barely even breathing, until they
opened again and he pulled away.

           
“When I found out what you’d been through, I knew I was no good for you. I promised
myself I would back the hell off so I wouldn’t hurt you anymore than you’d
already been hurt. I tried to push you away so many times but I can’t keep
doing it when all I really want is to keep you in my arms and protect you. I
just want you to be mine.”

           
That’s what I wanted too. So then why was I hesitating to say anything? Why did
a part of me still feel like it would be a mistake? For almost two months now,
I’d been telling myself it couldn’t work. I tried to talk myself out of my
feelings for him, but they wouldn’t go away. I attempted to bury them and that
didn’t work either. My heart had been trying to tell me all along what it
wanted, but did I only want it because I thought I could never have it?

           
Or was I so afraid of being hurt that I just didn’t want to admit how much this
frustrating, arrogant, overbearing, bad boy really meant to me? Because despite
all those things, he was also one of the sweetest, most unselfish and fiercely
protective people I had ever met.

           
He was passionate, insanely artistic and talented, pouring his soul out to the
world in the notes and lyrics of his music. He made me laugh even when I wanted
to be mad at him. He was constantly surprising me, like the way he was with my
niece and his students. Every time I got another glimpse of some part of him
that he kept hidden, it further convinced me that there was so much more to him
than most people saw.

           
I wanted to be the one that he let know him in a way no one ever had. Just like
that, my decision was made. Even though it could end up costing me, even though
it might be the wrong choice, I wasn’t going to change my mind. Maybe life
isn’t so much about always making the smart choice and getting everything
exactly right. Maybe there are things that matter more, like being kind,
showing love and forgiveness, and being brave enough to take chances. If so,
could loving Kyden ever really be a mistake?

           
He was watching me intently. I wasn’t sure what he was seeing on my face as I
worked through it all, but he didn’t push me for a response. He was willing to
give me as much time as I needed to absorb and consider his words, but I didn’t
need any more time. He must have seen the resolve on my face, because whereas
his face had been blank moments ago, it now showed apprehension.

           
He was afraid I was about to reject him. That’s when I realized, he didn’t just
have the power to hurt me, but I could hurt him as well. It was almost shocking
to see that someone so strong and confident could ever doubt himself, but
is was
plain as day in his eyes. He didn’t believe I cared
for him enough to give him the chance he was asking for. He had no idea how
truly amazing he was, flaws, insecurities, all of him. He was unsure of what he
meant to me, so I told him.

           
“I think I’ve been yours for a long time.
Even when I didn’t
want to admit it.”
I saw the apprehension on his face replaced with a
smile that lit up his whole face. I wanted to do anything I could to keep it
there. His grin was sexy, his smirk was infuriatingly charming, but his smile
was breathtaking.

           
“Yeah?”
He was still a little unsure, but I was going
to change that.

           
“Yes. I think I was done for the minute you called me Princess and I’ve just
been waiting for this moment ever since.” His smile transformed into the grin
that makes me shudder and before I knew what was happening my back was pressed
down into the mattress and his lips crashed against mine.

           
This kiss wasn’t sweet and tender like the first ones. It was rough and
demanding. My lips yielded to his assault and when I let out soft moan his
tongue swept into my mouth and tangled with mine. The metal ring was cool
against his otherwise warm lips. I flicked it with my tongue and then gently
bit down on his bottom lip. I could feel him grin against my mouth and the kiss
became even more frenzied. When he finally broke it off we were both breathing
heavily and I was sure he could hear my heart beating through my chest. I had
never been kissed like that before.

           
He raised himself up on both arms and hovered over my body, still wearing that
stupid grin. “Thank you.”

           
“I think I’m the one who should be saying thank you.” I said breathlessly. “I
don’t want to feed your ego, but you’re really good at that.” If kissing was an
Olympic sport, that boy would take the gold. He chuckled softly.

           
“I wasn’t talking about the kiss.
Although that was fucking
fantastic.
I meant thank you for giving me a chance. I know I don’t
deserve it, and I guarantee I’m
gonna
fuck up at some
point. Please be patient with me when I do. I can’t make you any promises but I
really want to try this.” I believed him. I didn’t know if he wanted it as much
as I did, but I knew he was being sincere, and I was going to try my best to do
what he was asking. If he was willing to try for me, I would be patient with
him.

           
The rest of the night was spent
laying
on his bed.
Neither one of us had any desire to rejoin the party. I was perfectly content
right where I was. We talked, and laughed and kissed some more. A lot more, but
he never pressured me to go any further.