Finding Faith (8 page)

Finally at the point where the red haze of lust had lifted, he purposely turned away from the door. Once he made it to the living room, the memory of how fucking sexy she looked standing in front of him just minutes ago hit him again.
 

His need for her was building more and more each moment they spent together. When first meeting Faith, he immediately noticed her beauty. Not classical, but seductive. Her face drew him to her and he couldn’t look away—still can’t. The lush curves of her body called out to him every time she accidentally brushed up against him, or when they touched or hugged. It was as if she pulled out some long buried desire to feel himself cradled between the thighs of a woman with soft flesh and meat on her bones, enough for him to grab onto as he pounded her body into oblivion.
 

God, he had it bad for this woman. It had been months of being near her, yet not being able to touch her the way he desired most. Fighting his desire had become a losing battle. Now, all he had to do was change things up. It was time to put her off her game.
 

A week later, Cooper was sitting on the front porch watching the sun go down. Madison had been invited to a birthday party and had been gone for a few hours. Glancing at his watch, he noted the time and looked up the street to see if he could catch a glimpse of Madison and Faith. The party should be ending right about now and they were due back any moment.
 

Their neighborhood was teeming with activity and he watched kids ride bikes and skateboards up and down the street. Waving to those who waved at him, he smiled at the kids, and adults, who yelled out to him in greeting. Because of the season, it was still bright outside. In the distance, he could see a hint of the moon and stars that would soon light up the night sky.
 

“Hey there, Cooper,” he was greeted by a couple he knew from neighborhood gatherings.
 

Standing up, he waved and walked over to greet them, “Hey, Tom. How are you, Susan? Enjoying the night air?
 

“Yeah,” Tom answered, “the girls are over at the birthday party and we’re on our way to get them now. Instead of driving, figured we would walk. That way, they can burn off any excess energy.”
 

Laughing in solidarity, Cooper understood exactly what they were talking about, “Well, I’m fully expecting Madison to be bouncing off the walls when they get back. Faith should be bringing her back any minute now.”
 

“Those two are really close. I know that must be good for Madison to have Faith in her life,” Susan commented. “It would be a shame if Faith were to ever move away or want to have children of her own.” Giving him a piercing look, she continued, “Well, we’d better go grab them before it gets to be too late. Tell Faith I said hi.” Grabbing her husband’s hand as they continued walking down the street, she turned back one more time, “I think we’ll be having a get together in the next month or so. I’ll make sure Tom brings over an invitation.”
 

Nodding his head to Tom, who was rolling his eyes at his wife’s perceived meddling, Cooper called out, “Okay, yeah, sounds good, Susan. Have a good night.”
 

Although her words about Faith wanting children “of her own” were said as a seemingly general comment, they still bothered him. He and Faith hadn’t talked about how things were changing between them. Not even once had they made the attempt to talk about what happened last week at his home. But she had to know how he felt about her, or at least that he was attracted to her. Seriously attracted to her.
 

He knew she had friends and went out occasionally after work. She even traveled for work on occasion. But not once, had she ever mentioned a man in her life until that date she went on a month ago. Rubbing his neck as he looked in the direction Tom and Susan had walked, his mind whirled with the possibilities. There was a gnawing feeling in his gut that if she did want to move on with someone—someone that was not him—he knew that wouldn’t sit well with him at all.
 

Watching as the neighborhood kids played up and down the sidewalk and in the front yards of the houses that lined the streets, he thought he caught sight of Faith and Madison. His daughter had made the executive decision that Faith would be the one to take her to her friend’s house for the birthday party, which had been okay with him. In actuality, he had been amused. Without either of them realizing it, his daughter had somehow adopted their neighbor and made her an unofficial part of their family.
 

“Daddy! Daddy! Look at what me and Ms. Faith got from the party!” Madison sprinted up the walkway in front of their home. Back on the porch and sitting in a deck chair, he caught her as she sprinted to him and leapt into his arms.
 

“Well, what do we have here?” Testing the weight of the bag of small gifts and toys that had been given out by her friend’s parents, he turned wide eyes toward Madison. “This is heavy! How did you get this all the way home?”
 

“Faith helped me.” Turning his head to look in her direction, he watched Faith trudge up the sidewalk. Giving her a slight smile as she waved her hand in his direction, he took pity on her. For about three seconds and then he started to smile. Her face bore an expression that all parents had in common on a day like this. Completely and utterly worn out. Smiling at the sight of her standing in front of him, he almost laughed out loud, but decided that would be a bad move. “Poor Faith, did Madison run you ragged?”
 

“Hardy-har-har! No. I’m full of energy. I could go another two hours.” Getting to the top step, she slowly turned and sat down, “just let me nap for two days.”
 

“Well, even if you’re not tired, it’s almost time for the little princess to get ready for bed.” Pulling his daughter close, he peaked inside her bag to look at what she had brought home.
 

Madison’s small hand reached up to his face and pulled him down, she then whispered close to his ear, “Daddy, I’m not tired.”
 

“I know you’re not, baby, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to go to bed.” Already knowing what the answer would be, Cooper asked the question anyway, “Did you and Faith have fun today?”
 

“We did. And guess what, Daddy? I have to tell you something,” she whispered the last statement, which got his attention.
 

Sure that it was something about her friends or the party, he bent down to hear her secret, “What?”
 

“I love Faith, Daddy. I do! Can I tell her?” Her eyes were big and he could tell from her expression, that his daughter meant every single word. Damn. He probably should have realized this was happening. All the signs were there. It was inevitable that Madison would become connected so strongly to the woman that had, in effect, treated her like she was her own child.
 

Raising his eyes quickly, he glanced at Faith to see if she had heard her confession. When he saw that she was still lying on her back with her eyes closed, he figured that she had not picked up on their secret conversation. Oddly enough, he was equal parts relieved and disappointed.
 

Something in him was glad that Faith had not heard his daughter’s confession because she may not feel the same. That type of rejection would be a difficult thing for a child to deal
with, especially for a little girl who had lost her mother at such a young age. He had tried to do the best he could, but Madison clearly wanted—needed—something more than he could provide. What truly shocked him most was the feeling that he wanted to know if Faith really did love his daughter in return. And what if she did? Then what?
 

“How about you tell her another day?” Unable to get his voice low enough to prevent her overhearing, he felt Faith’s gaze turn toward him and lifted his eyes to hers for just a second. Noticing her eyebrows raised in question, he shrugged and shook his head to stall any questions.
 

Looking back at his daughter, he could tell that she was not happy with his direction. Sometimes she could have a mind of her own and wasn’t always receptive to being put in a box. That was definitely a personality trait she inherited from her mother. He would not take the blame for that one. Not this time. His next words were a bit louder, “Okay, princess, it’s almost eight o’clock. It’s time to get ready for bed.”
 

“Awww, Dad. I don’t want to.” Jumping from his lap even as she spoke the words, she began making her way to the front door.
 

“I know, but little girls need their sleep” Voice light with laughter, he couldn’t help looking over at Faith again. They had talked several times in the last few weeks about Madison’s burgeoning need for independence. Catching Faith’s gaze, they shared a moment of adult mirth at the logic and antics of a four-year old child, which they both succumbed to each and every time.
 

As Faith sat there laughing silently behind her hand, his smile became even wider as he gave thanks that she was there. Able to share this moment with him.
 

Looking around as if bored with the turn the conversation had taken, Madison quickly turned back to Faith. “Can you help me go to bed, Ms. Faith?”
 

Dark brown eyes turned to him in question. “Sure, honey, as long as your dad is okay with it.”
 

“Are you okay, Daddy?” Not that she was actually waiting for his response. Already walking toward the door, she grabbed Faith’s hand in her smaller one and began pulling her along.
 

“Yes, honey, that’s fine. Faith, I’ll be out here when you finish.” Settling back in his seat, he noticed a few more kids outside playing and settled in to wait for Faith to return.
 

“Okay, see you in a bit,” Faith called back at him. As they walked into the house, his ears picked up the echo of their voices. Quick footfalls on the stairs reverberated through the house and out the open window as they made their way to her bedroom. A feeling of peace overcame him. This is what he needed and it calmed him to know that Faith and Madison were both in his home.
 

No more than 30 minutes later, Faith exited the house and stood in front of the closed screen door for a few minutes. Looking back over her shoulder as if confused, her brow was furrowed in concern and she bit her bottom lip. Watching her silently for a few minutes, Cooper purposely ignored the invisible barrier holding him back from moving forward with his beautiful neighbor and took the time to really look at her.
 

Gazing at her as no longer just a neighbor and friend, but as a woman, his need for her began to surge. Without a doubt, he liked what he saw on the outside and wanted to explore more of the woman beneath the clothing. But now that he knew the woman behind the curves and sassy attitude, he felt something more than just a physical attraction.
 

Was he truly ready for this? Would the memory of his wife continue to press on him? Could he ask Faith to give herself over to a man who still had to ask himself that question? Deciding that he wouldn’t be able to answer that question tonight, he put it on the backburner for another day. He instead focused on the woman standing in front of him.
 

“What’s wrong, Faith?”
 

“Um, nothing really. I just…” Looking over her shoulder one more time, she slowly moved from her spot. Coming over next to him, she sat on the bench that was situated next to his chair.
 

Beginning to get concerned, he was about to get up and go into the house and check on Madison. Just as he was lifting up, the next words from Faith’s mouth stopped him in his tracks.
 

“Madison is…,” she paused and sighed deeply, “That little girl has stolen my heart. I love her so much. Do you know that?”
 

Instead of rushing into the house, he lifted out of his chair and went over to the bench, sitting next to Faith. “I know you do. I see it every time you’re with her.” Knowing his daughter had not heeded his direction to wait to share her confession, he continued, “But what made you say it tonight? To me?”
 

Cooper didn’t think she realized it at the time, but when she began to answer the question, she grabbed his hand in hers. “Upstairs, as she was getting into bed, she said she loved me.” The joy on her face was his undoing. How could a woman who had not birthed a child, feel so much joy and happiness at the knowledge of that child’s love for them?
 

“Did this upset you?” Based on her response, he would hazard a guess to say no, but he wanted to hear her say it.
 

“Oh, no! Absolutely not. I know she lost her mother and for a little girl, that can be traumatic.”
 

Cooper interrupted, “Has she ever talked about her mother? Asked questions?”
 

She shook her head no, still holding onto his hand as she continued, “Not really. I mean, she sometimes looks at mothers and daughters with a little more curiosity. Occasionally, she’ll make comments about things her and her mommy would do if she were alive.” Pausing for a moment, she looked out over the yard, “The time I’ve spent with her has been because I wanted to do it. Just because she is such a caring and open child. It was just…I don’t know. Hearing the words made me realize that she has come to mean so much to me.”
 

He knew that Madison’s curiosity and observations about her mother, or lack thereof, was natural. The counselors and therapists he had spoken with had told him so. “Well, from what I’ve been told, when she does bring up Heather, it’s important to let her questions and comments flow naturally. I’ve tried to be careful not to force any conversation about her mother, but also not shy away from it when she wants to talk.”
 

Looking at the woman sitting next to him in a new light, he began to understand what was starting to happen, “It seems that you’ve become someone she feels that she can trust. Someone she knows she can be herself with and not hide.”