Finding Forever (Living Again #4) (14 page)

“But you didn’t! You’re going to be okay.” Please make this be over soon. “Mom said you wanted to talk to me?”

“Well, I hadn’t seen you since I woke up, but then I found out why. Heather said you had a model shoot yesterday. As always, your little
hobby
was more important than your family.”

He had no idea how his dad’s words could still cut him like a knife, but he didn’t think he could’ve felt more pain if he actually would’ve stabbed him.
Don’t engage him
, he reminded himself.

“I did have a shoot, Dad. I also have a dog that was almost killed this week, so I had to take care of him. I’ve been here every day since your accident and surgery. Just because you can’t remember it doesn’t mean I wasn’t here.”

“Oh, right. The dog. I forgot what a bleeding heart you have for those four legged animals. I heard that you have taken a certain liking to the vet that took care of him, too.” Damn Heather and her big mouth. Didn’t she realize all she was doing was giving their dad more ammunition to use against him?

“Lacey was one of Max’s vets, yes,” Brant answered, trying hard to keep his voice even. Was it against the law to want to kill your dad while he was in ICU? “But we’re just getting to know each other right now.”

His dad was quiet for a moment, and Brant hoped that he would fall asleep and give him a reprieve. “Let me tell you something, son,” he said finally. “This girl, Lacey you said, that’s a vet? Do you really think that you have what it takes to provide for someone like her? She’s a professional, Brantley. A doctor. Do you think it’s her life goal to marry a
model
?”

Brant sucked in a breath, the pain so unbearable he thought he might pass out. Did they have doctor care for wounds inflicted by the very parents supposed to love you unconditionally?

“I mean, come on, Brantley. This modeling thing is only going to last so long. Then what are you going to do? You’re wasting your life. So what, some stupid magazines print your pictures and give you some title. How does that make you a man? You have a Master’s in Business Administration, and this is what you’re doing. No woman is going to see that as a redeeming career, especially not one that is a doctor.

Look at me. If you were working with me, as you should be, you could be taking over right now instead of Jack. As it is, I’m worrying myself sick over what’s going to happen to the ranch while I’m recuperating. I’m the one responsible for the financial future of this family, because you don’t think it’s
glorious
enough to take over your family business. This is
your
fault, Brantley Robert. If you weren’t so selfish, you’d be there to help your family during this time.”

Brant clenched his fists together, wishing he could choke the life out of his father. His whole body shook with the effort it was taking him to not start throwing shit around the hospital room, telling his dad exactly what he had wanted to say for over nine years. Instead, he turned and walked out the doors, to the end of the hallway where the stairs were so he wouldn’t have to see his mom and sisters, and out the door to his truck.

He wanted to punch something. Badly. But instead, he gritted his teeth, turned the radio up loud, and peeled out of the hospital parking lot. Who exactly did he think he was? Who talked to their own kid like that? Answer: Robert Tucker did. He was so blind he didn’t see what he had been doing for years. What in the world would make Brant want to go work with his dad after the way he had treated him, the things he had said to him?

Stopping the truck a few miles away in a deserted parking lot, Brant gripped the steering wheel. He wanted to lose control for just a few seconds. Scream, cry or hit something. Maybe it would make him feel better, just for a moment. Tears filled his eyes, the anger so strong it had to come out somewhere.

His phone began ringing, and he swore that if it was anyone in his family, he was going to throw his phone out the window and run it over. But when he saw Lacey’s name on the screen, the anger left him like air in a deflated balloon.

Brant breathed in and out, trying to calm the rage that had wanted to escape. “Hello?”

“Brant,” Lacey’s sultry voice made him close his eyes. She was the object of his every dream. He felt his body relax. “Are you okay?”

He could lie. It would be easy enough; he had been doing it most of his life. But after how brave she had been to tell him so much about her last night, he just wanted to let it out. “Lacey… no. I’m not okay. Not at all.”

“Is it your dad? Max? Where are you?” An edge of panic came into her voice and he actually smiled. How was it that she could show so much compassion, yet not think she was capable of feeling anything?

“No, they’re both fine,” he answered. Well, fine was a relative term for what his father was. “I’m in a parking lot, trying to compose myself at the moment.”

“Meet me at the river in thirty minutes,” she said. “I’ll bring lunch. Okay?”

Brant looked out the window, watching the cars fly by, not a care in the world. He found himself wondering if any of them hated their father right now, or if they had parents that actually believed in their children. This girl, she had no idea what she had just done for him. He wasn’t angry anymore. He just wanted to see her with every fiber of his being.

“Brant?”

“Thank you,” he barely whispered, the emotion brimming so close to spilling over he could hardly contain it.

“Thirty minutes,” she answered. “It’s going to be okay, Brant. I’m here.”

Her clear blue eyes watched him intently as he repeated every word that his father had said to him at the hospital this morning. She never interrupted, though he could sense the anger in her by the rigidness of her body and the tightness with which she gripped his hand as he talked.

Once she had arrived and found him sitting by the water, never in his life had he wanted to bury himself in someone and cry all the tears he had held over his twenty-seven years. But he didn’t. He settled for hugging her tightly, breathing in the scent of her hair and feeling her heart beat against his before she had pulled back and asked him what happened. He had no idea how long he had been talking, but it all just spilled out of him. The only other person that knew how his father treated him was Evan, and it felt good to tell her.

“I left. I couldn’t listen to him anymore, Lacey. I can’t do it. He’s my father and I love him, but I can’t stand around and let him abuse me every time he opens his mouth. I’d never be a parent like that…”

“You shouldn’t listen to it,” she agreed. “That’s terrible. My dad has his faults, for sure. He checked out of our lives. But I never doubt that he loves me, or that he’s proud of me; he’s just broken inside. He’s never said anything mean to me, and that’s how it should be. You don’t deserve this treatment. Yes, he’s your dad. But you’re an adult with dreams and aspirations that
you’ve
made happen. You aren’t required to put yourself through this anymore.”

He knew that. He did. But to walk away from his family meant to him that he was exactly what his dad said. A coward. A little boy unworthy of being called a man.

“Brant, look at me,” Lacey said softly, her hand pulling his chin towards her face. He turned his face to look into hers, looking at her soft, feminine features. She was a calming force for him. The urge to kiss those pillow soft lips again almost took over, but he knew this wasn’t the time. He didn’t want her to think he was using her to forget.

“You don’t deserve that kind of treatment from anyone, and especially not your family. I don’t care if he’s angry at you or not. Anyone who is truly a father wouldn’t put all of his hopes and dreams into you being what he wants. So what that the ranch has been a part of your family for generations? Why, because you’re the only son, does that then become your responsibility? This isn’t the 1800’s, Brant. You’re allowed to choose what you want, or don’t want, for your life. Stop feeling guilty for that. The more power you give him over your self-worth, the more he’s going to take.”

He brought up his hands and cupped her face, tracing her smooth skin with his thumbs. “Thank you,” he whispered. A small puff of air huffed from her mouth as her eyes widened at his touch. She smelled of mint, and he wanted nothing more than to put his lips on hers again. “I knew when I woke up today I should just go get you and spend the day with you instead of going to see him. I should’ve listened to my gut.”

“I’m not going to tell you to turn your back on your family,” she whispered back, bringing her hands up to touch his, still on her face. “But, just because he’s your family doesn’t mean you allow him to treat you that way. You’re a man, Brantley. A successful, handsome, kind man. You have
nothing
to be ashamed of. You aren’t doing anything wrong. At all.”

He entwined both his hands with hers and kissed one hand, then the other. It was funny, really, how this morning he had felt cut, annihilated by his own father and all it took to start putting him back together was one sentence from the amazing woman sitting next to him.

“I want to kiss you,” he admitted. “I just don’t want you to think I’m using you to forget.”

“Brant,” she breathed, and he swore the sound shot straight to his heart. “I know you’re not using me.” Did she just give him permission? Because he was barely restraining himself as it was.

“This week has been bad; horrible for both of us. But I’d do it all again if I had to, just to be with you right here, right now.”

Her gaze searched his. “Why?”

“Because meeting you has made all of the rest of this week worth it. I don’t think it was a coincidence we met, Lacey. You calm me, make me want to be better. For you. To be the person you deserve.”

“Oh, Brant,” she got up on her knees and leaned in, so close he could almost touch her lips with his. “There’s nothing you have to do better. Stop thinking you aren’t good enough. Kiss me.”

He didn’t waste another second. Separating his legs so she could fit in between them, he snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her as close as he could. Smoothing her hair back with his free hand, they looked into each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever before he made the first move, touching his lips to hers in a soft kiss.

Brant fought not to groan as he took her lips in his, not able to stop himself from using his tongue to lick the seam. When she wrapped her arms around his neck and opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, he swore that his head was floating above the clouds somewhere. Her tongue met his in a sensual dance, both of them moving slowly, testing out the other. He was aware of every movement she was making and every breath she was taking. Her hands caressed the back of his neck as she let him take the lead. He fought to keep his hands where he knew they should be, so he settled for touching her back as they continued. He was going to do this right. Never would Lacey feel like a cheap hook up.

He kept it slow, even though his body screamed to make it much more. He opened his eyes right when she did, and they continued kissing, watching one another for a few seconds until he started reluctantly pulling back. He could kiss her all day, he knew that much. He pulled back slowly, resting his forehead against hers as they both breathed heavily, their eyes closed.

“Lacey,” he said against her mouth. “I don’t want to let you go.”

“Then don’t,” she said back.