Finding Gabriel (28 page)

The memory of his kiss seared her thoughts, and subtle tremors quaked through her body. Her fingertips burned with the desire to touch him. Swallowing back her fears, she did precisely that. She met his eyes again and sank to her knees. The contrast of his handsome features and disfigured half struck Ariah. Streaks of blue-black flashed within his silky hair and tugged at her imagination. Perceiving only beauty, she took pleasure in every detail, every line, every imperfection …

An ocean of possibilities shimmered before her – kissed by sunlight, vast, deep, and endless. For years, she’d been imprisoned and burdened by her past while surviving off false hope and pretty lies.

Is this what freedom feels like?

Her hand trembled as she tentatively reached for him. Those rich eyes never parting from her own, Gabriel encircled her wrist and placed her hand across his chest. The beat of his heart thundered beneath her fingertips – fierce, loyal, and unmistakable. The simple gesture was overwhelmingly beautiful. He was making a present of his soul.

“I am yours, Ariah.”

Heart pounding, she mutely nodded and skimmed her palm down his sternum. With each movement, his chest expanded and deflated with soulful breaths. His gaze darkened while he tracked her movements. Shattering the silence, the dangling medals tinkled and clinked as she brushed over them. Pulse racing in her ears, she dared to venture lower … lower … down the hard planes of his stomach …

A choked groan emerged from his throat. Cords of muscles clenched, convulsed, and tightened beneath her fingertips. His head lolled backward as if in agony – yet she knew he felt only desire. Red-hot, raging desire. Every bit of his body was hard and on fire, resembling newly forged steel. A fierce confidence surged through her veins. She increased the pressure of her touch and swept his inner thighs once more. The fabric of his trousers expanded with each movement. A husky growl reverberated, swelling the drawing room to its rafters. Quicker than lightning, his hand shot out and ensnared her wrist, enveloping it completely. Energized heat sweltered between them – as tangible and dangerous as the very air they shared.

And they were so close. He blew out a strained breath and raked a hand through his forelock. Passion kindled within his eyes, setting his stern features aglow. His dark gaze glittered with mounting arousal and hunger.

And yet all of Ariah’s fears faded away. She felt empowered. Entirely in control.

Inspiration bloomed inside her chest and set fire to her spirit. Smiling from ear to ear, she jackknifed to her feet and rushed toward the small closet. Nearly tripping over herself, she collected drawing tools from the top shelf and arranged the easel in front of Gabriel’s seated body. The entire room spun wildly as she pressed the pencil against the blank canvas. Inspiration poured from her fingertips, from her thoughts, from every fiber of her being. An emotional hurdle had been cleared – and she was finally granted access to her inner muse. Raw energy thrummed through her mind and body. And, for the first time in years, her heart sang with
true
hope.

•

Ariah sat before the hearth as nighttime unfurled its wings. Gabriel had mysteriously departed in the early afternoon, offering no explanation. Hours later, the clang of ceramic pottery echoed as Miriam bustled about the kitchen nook and prepared supper. Beyond the walls, the wind chime tinkled a merry song and infused the home with warmth. Smiling wide, Emmaline huddled close to the blazing fire. Devoured by the flames, the logs snapped and dissolved into glowing embers. Cheerful chatter filled the drawing room as Emmaline manipulated her dolls with an energy Ariah hadn’t witnessed for months.

Her heart stirred as she stole a glance at Gabriel’s portrait. She’d stayed up the previous night perfecting each little detail and had finally slipped into bed when dawn’s rays seeped through the drapes.

Less than a month had passed since she found Gabriel de Laurent – yet each second seemed to blur together in a single suspended moment. The realization was undeniable; in many ways, they were becoming a family. It was that unspoken, genuine desire to care for each other in one’s time of need that bound them together. Even Miriam had become emotionally invested in Gabriel’s recovery.

Ariah sighed and swung both feet, urging the rocking chair into a sway. Gabriel had been gone only hours, yet a profound ache formed inside her chest. She missed him dearly.

How much longer could they play at this fantasy?

Her eyes drew to Emmaline. How happy she looked … happy, radiant, and brimming with life. What would become of her when she learned of Jacques’s death?
Non
, she couldn’t know. Not for a while. Not until Ariah was certain she was completely over the cough. She couldn’t risk jeopardizing her daughter’s fragile state.

Ariah sighed, brushed a fallen curl from her eyes, and gazed at Miriam. Her sister paused her handiwork and offered a reassuring smile. She’d taken the news of Jacques’s death quite hard. He’d been a dear friend to every one of them.

The sound of creaking wood captured Ariah’s attention. Her heart fluttered as Gabriel entered the home. Wary of his sweeping height, he ducked and crossed the threshold. Emmaline leapt to her feet and raced over, her gaze alive with unmasked adoration.

“Monsieur Gabriel! You came back!”

“Of course I did,
ma chérie
.”

As expected, a bandage concealed half his face. He chuckled and ruffled Emmaline’s hair with his left hand; the other was hidden beneath the material of his greatcoat.

“I’ve brought you a gift.” He lowered onto one knee, that gaze sparkling with youthful mischief.

Emmaline clasped both hands together, her entire body visibly thrumming. “A gift? For me?”

Gabriel grinned. “Hopefully your maman shan’t murder me in my sleep.”

And without another word, he withdrew his hand. A puppy dangled in midair as he held it by the scruff of its neck. The creature erratically kicked, its entire body squirming like a worm on a hook. Emmaline jumped up and down, flew forward, and knotted both arms around Gabriel’s lower legs. He endured the show of affection with a shallow
oomph
and ever-growing smile. In the same breath, Miriam lifted her skirts, shrieked like a giddy schoolgirl, and raced over. Unable to suppress her own smile, she clasped both hands together and examined the flailing puppy. Long, floppy ears fell to the puppy’s shoulders. Miriam ruffled them between her fingers while her grin expanded. Its pink tongue darted out, rewarding her with a sound lick to the face.

“My word. What a little b-beauty!”

Ariah fairly melted from the puppy’s cuteness. It boasted a dark auburn coat, sorrowful eyes, and slender tail. The thing was three-fourths fur and small enough to fit in Gabriel’s palm. Its breed was inscrutable – though it appeared to be an unusual spaniel-terrier mix. Little more than a ball of fuzz, two oversized blue eyes took in the surroundings with obvious apprehension. The creature continued to fidget in midair, its tail tucked beneath pudgy legs.

Gabriel held the pup above his head and lifted said tail. “
She
is all yours, little one.”

Emmaline madly jumped up and down, her curls bouncing with each movement. “May I hold her, monsieur? Please?”

Ariah climbed to her feet as her daughter seized the puppy. “Come now, Emma. You must be gentle! I reckon she is very scared.” Emmaline repositioned her arms and cradled the puppy like a newborn babe. Tongue hanging from its jowls, its distended tummy inflated with deep breaths. “A puppy shall require a great deal of caretaking, you know,” Ariah resumed with a propped brow. “Are you quite sure you’re ready for that responsibility?”

“Oh, yes! I will take good care of her. I promise I will. I shall be like a maman to her.” Emmaline hugged the puppy to her chest, inclined her chin, and peppered kisses atop its fuzzy head.

“Well. It shall be a learning experience. For both of us, I suppose.” Oliver had been rather old when she’d brought him home, and she’d never had a dog as a child. A puppy would be an adventure and an excellent companion for Emmaline. Smiling broadly, Ariah knelt beside Gabriel and ran her fingers over the creature’s downy fur. Flushed with excitement, Ariah felt like a little girl again. “What must you say to Monsieur Gabriel?”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! She’s the most beautifulest pup I’ve ever seen.” Clasping the mutt against her body, Emmaline showered Gabriel’s bandage with kisses – and Ariah swore the right side of his face blushed a deep crimson.

•

Ariah eased inside the bedchamber, where she found two pairs of bright blue eyes staring at her. Emmaline was curled up beneath the coverlet, the puppy snuggled firmly against her chest. Scrambling to break free of the blanket, its body wiggled as its black, wet nose twitched. Ariah surrendered to a light laugh, peeled away her shawl, and flung it over the vanity.

“Emma, darling! She’s your pet, not your prisoner. I dare say she can hardly breathe beneath all those blankets!”

The puppy wriggled free as Emmaline loosened her hold on its body. Scrambling over the mountain of rumpled covers, it gave a high-pitch yip and pawed at the air. “She’s just so warm and cuddly.”

Ariah ruffled through her folded garments and quickly changed into a simple nightdress. Then she slipped next to Emmaline and smoothed the coverlet over their bodies. The creature was a plump little thing, bearing a round tummy, beaming eyes, floppy ears, and oversized feet. Its thin tail whizzed back and forth, elaborately slicing the air. Emmaline giggled and smoothed her palm over the fluffy coat. Yipping and yapping, the puppy waddled over and splashed Ariah’s face with a barrage of kisses. She wrinkled her nose at the assault and gently urged her away. Tiny, daggerlike teeth nipped at her palm.

“No,” Ariah muttered and secured his jaws shut. As if in retaliation, the puppy grabbed a mouthful of coverlet and vigorously shook it back and forth. Then, exhausted from the day’s events, she flopped onto the mattress and promptly fell asleep.

Settling onto the mattress, Ariah shook her head in silent disbelief; Gabriel had spent the entire day scouring the town for a puppy – and had finally discovered a schoolboy selling a litter in the marketplace.

What kindness and sensitivity.

Her heart warmed as she stole a glance at Emmaline’s sleepy, smiling features. The puppy’s paws twitched. Ariah grabbed hold of one and held it up to the moonlight.

“My, she’s going to be an awfully big girl one day. Have you thought of a name yet?”

Emmaline yawned, her little chin bouncing up and down. “I want to call her Gabriel.”

Ariah couldn’t suppress her smile. “How about Gabriella? She is a
she
, after all.”

Emmaline nodded once more. Then her eyes grew heavy as sleep overcame her. “I wish Gabriel could be my papa,” she murmured into her pillow, stroking Gabriella’s coat. Golden strands fluttered about her cheeks as her breaths stirred them to life. “I really, really love him.”

Ariah’s heart constricted. She reflected on her conversation with Gabriel from the previous night:
You remind me of Jacques in many ways.
Except she’d never felt for Jacques what she felt for Gabriel. Jacques had been a dear friend and companion – yet, despite how hard she’d pushed herself, she’d never loved him. And now that his death had been confirmed, she could finally admit the truth to herself.

Tears of mingled relief and sorrow stung Ariah’s eyes. Sighing to herself, she clasped her pillow and whispered the confession into the darkness: “I think I may love him, too.”

Early the next morning, Ariah escorted Gabriella out-of-doors to relieve herself while Emmaline remained fast asleep. She loosened the shawl about her shoulders and urged the crisp air to brush against her skin. As if obliging her request, a gentle breeze caressed her and ruffled her loose curls. The nearby trees rustled and swayed, casting wavering, skeletal shadows against the surrounding stonework.

She sighed and inhaled deeply, filling her lungs to their limit. What a beautiful day it was. Winter was finally melting into spring, and the world teemed with sunshine and promises of warmth. Flooded with an indescribable, almost infantile giddiness, she stretched her limbs and freed her hair from its coiffure. The curls tumbled down her shoulders, tickled her flushed cheeks, and danced in the wind’s breath. After finishing her business, Gabriella gave an enthusiastic bark and padded back to her side. The puppy plopped onto her haunches and gazed up at her with large expectant eyes. They were rather beautiful – a warm, unusual blue tone, rimmed with jet-black.

“All done, are we now? You shall try to be a big girl and hold it this time?”

The puppy lowered her head, as if she understood her earlier misstep, and pressed close to her skirts. Ariah knelt and smoothed her palm over the creature’s feathery coat. Emerging from her shell, the puppy came alive at the show of affection. The little monster leapt onto her hind legs and dampened Ariah’s cheeks with hot kisses. She laughed and scrunched her nose, attempting to tug the puppy from her face.

The sound of a jostling carriage anchored her attention. Cradling the puppy in her arms, Ariah shaded her gaze and studied the approaching vehicle. A smile spread across her lips. Holding the puppy under one arm, she lifted her skirts and raced toward the hackney. It came to an abrupt halt several meters from her home. The two mares clawed at the cobblestones and snorted while Doctor Mongeau’s charming driver tipped his hat in greeting.

•

The rich scents of stewed vegetables and roasted meats wafted beyond the bedchamber. Clinking pottery accompanied the sweet fragrances, sending pains of nostalgia racing through Gabriel’s mind. He lolled his neck against the tub’s side as the tepid water seduced him into a peaceful state. Both of his arms were outstretched and bent over the edge, embracing his warm surroundings. For over a decade, he’d dwelt in lonely solitude, only the ghosts of his past for company.

His body grew taut and alert as images of Ariah streamed through his mind. Her golden mane of curls spun from rich silk, the hot wetness of her lips joined with his own, eyes so pristine and blue they pierced his very heart … her gentle laughter – not a shrill giggle, but a decadent, warm melody that always put him at ease.

Day by day, Ariah was coming to possess him – mind, body, and soul. Every instinct urged him to run away … to run far from here and sweep away his feelings … to hide within himself and escape the emotions that threatened to conquer him. And he’d spent nearly a decade doing just that; Gabriel had sought escape, trading feelings of guilt and sorrow for bloodshed. But Ariah Larochelle had changed everything.

Her kindness and understanding, her patience and encouragement – they'd beckoned Gabriel from his hiding. And now he ached to start anew, to seize this precious second opportunity with fervor.

Being in her presence was liberating. Doors opened that Gabriel thought were forever sealed. Though the horrors of his past still lingered, they were counterbalanced by Ariah, Emmaline, and even Miriam. A month ago, Gabriel yearned for nothing more than death. Now he couldn’t imagine living without Ariah.

Rivulets of water slid down his muscled thighs as he rose from the tub. Refreshed and pondering what lay ahead, Gabriel wrung out excess water from his hair and combed the locks back with his fingertips. His hair was longer than usual – unfashionably long, Sybil would have surely pointed out – and nearly skimmed the expanse of his shoulders. As usual, his eyes drew to the knife wound that branded his right bicep. It was a never-ending reminder of that night.

Of Lisette.

Unable to bear the sight, Gabriel tossed Jacques’s dress shirt over his head and stepped into the trousers. Damp from the water, the material clung to his chest like a second skin. He paced in front of the vanity mirror and examined his marred face. The flesh was scabby and welted together like torn leather. Fragments of bone still speared through the skin. But the swelling beneath his left eye had subsided almost completely. With each passing day, he grew more accepting of his deformity and felt less need to hide behind linen dressings. Though he still wouldn’t dare step foot outside the walls of the house without the bandage and animal hide glue.

Gabriel nimbly fastened the buttons of Jacques’s dress shirt. His mind spun with unanswered questions. What would become of him and Ariah? Could they start a new life together, free from the binds of their pasts?
Within time, could we become a family?

He propped both hands on the vanity’s edge and bowed his head. He’d come so far. And there was so much to lose. Such a thing was both a blessing and a curse.

Lisette’s musical box, Ariah’s three miniatures, and an assortment of medical supplies lined the countertop. Gabriel shoved the forelock from his eyes, contemplating the roll of linen and small tin of glue. Apparently Doctor Mongeau and his driver would be staying for supper.

He caressed the rugged material between his fingertips, more than a bit tempted to apply the dressing. He’d spent over a decade hiding from himself. Now it was time to move forward without regrets or backward glances. Needing no further encouragement, Gabriel turned from his reflection and marched inside the drawing room with determined steps.

Somewhere along this strange journey, hope had emerged from the depths of despair.

•

Supper had come to an end a half hour earlier. Gabriel and Emmaline roughhoused with the puppy near the hearth while Doctor Mongeau rested in the rocking chair. Marius, the charming carriage driver, promptly escorted Miriam off to the side, obvious interest and admiration in his eyes.

Ariah observed their interaction as she cleared the table. From the look of it, Marius appeared to be making decent headway. There was a charming blush that never seemed to fade from Miriam’s cheeks, and genuine laughter erupted from her lips every few moments. Indeed, she seemed swept away in a torrent of raw emotion.

Running a cloth over the tabletop, Ariah smiled to herself and returned to her task.

First love – a beautiful, often dangerous phenomenon …

Memories of Geoffrey flooded her thoughts. When she’d first encountered him at the foster home, he’d seemed a bit rough around the edges, though inherently good-hearted. She’d been depressed and terribly frightened of her foreign surroundings – and Geoffrey had made it his duty to protect and guide her. Ariah had followed after him with blind adoration. After his betrayal and deceit, she’d forged a barrier around her heart. Jacques had softened it, reviving her trust in humanity.

But it was Gabriel who’d broken through completely. She still held her doubts about whether he was worthy of her complete trust. After all, he’d withheld the truth of Jacques’s death. But it only took one passing glance between Gabriel and her daughter to confirm her assertion: he would protect her family at all costs.

Unfortunate events had scarred his mind and body. Yet, at heart, he remained pure and whole. When he believed no one was watching, there was a boyish charm in his smile. Geoffrey also had been ruined – but unlike Gabriel, he’d been unable to preserve his innocence.

Robust laughter clipped her thoughts. Miriam fairly swooned while Marius leaned in close and whispered in her ear. A protective instinct welled in Ariah’s stomach. He appeared to be gentle and honest enough – though one could never know for certain.

Doctor Mongeau rose from the rocking chair. Ariah’s heart melted as Gabriel climbed to his feet and assisted him with a gentle hand to the forearm.

“Why, thank you, good monsieur.”

Gabriel silently nodded and led Doctor Mongeau to Ariah. Scratching wood resounded as Gabriel pulled out a chair and lowered the doctor into the seat. Ariah grinned at Gabriel; he captured her eyes over the table, and she found speaking almost impossible. He was a breathtaking vision of darkness and strains of light wrapped in one.

“Oh, look! Look at Gabriella now!” Emmaline called over her shoulder.

With a subtle nod, Gabriel turned on his heels and went back to Emmaline and the puppy. He knelt beside the hearth and ruffled Gabriella’s floppy ears. Tail wagging, the puppy growled low in her throat and nipped at his hand. Then she rolled onto her back, that peppered tongue lolling from her jaws. Ariah’s skin prickled as he awarded the puppy’s belly a solid rubdown.

How would those hands feel upon my skin?

Would they be rough? Or would they be gentle and attentive? The memory of Gabriel’s kiss seared her mind and body, causing warmth to spike through each limb. Those hands had killed countless men – but they’d also wiped away her tears … and they’d embraced her while she’d spilled her soul and secrets. Ariah had told Gabriel things, painful details of her life … things she’d never breathed to anyone else. Not even Miriam or Jacques.

She sank beside Doctor Mongeau and quietly examined his wrinkled features. The illness was steadily taking over his mind and body. His skin was ashen, those charcoal eyes sunken and rimmed with dark circles. Sorrow spread through Ariah’s heart like an infection. He’d become a dear friend and father figure these past few years. Before supper, after he’d examined Emmaline and Gabriel’s injury, she’d imparted the news of Jacques’s death. Sharing in her loss, he
’
d embraced her for several minutes, gently rocking her back and forth.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Doctor Mongeau. “That Gabriel – he’s a good man with a sensitive heart,” he said. “Some of the sadness seems to have faded away since I last saw him.” Wise, calculating eyes flickered over her expression. “Some of the sadness has faded from you, too.”

“I’m afraid Emmaline has come to love him.”

For several moments, Doctor Mongeau’s eyes bored into her own. And he drank everything in with an astute awareness. “I can see that.”

Ariah swallowed and absently wrung the material of her skirts. Observing Gabriel and Emmaline’s interaction, Doctor Mongeau settled further into the chair and surrendered to a weary sigh. Emmaline dragged a torn rag across the floorboards, leading the puppy in a merry chase. In a noble attempt to steal the rag, the little creature spun, twirled, and yipped. Rich, youthful giggles bubbled from Emmaline’s throat as she tossed the makeshift toy to Gabriel. He snatched it and followed suit, urging the puppy into frantic circles. Gabriella soon tripped over herself and landed on the floorboards with a muted
plop
.

Ariah grew warm all over. The spectacle mesmerized her. Seeing Gabriel’s large muscled body crouched beside Emmaline’s petite form was both endearing and strange.

“The three of you make a handsome trio,” Doctor Mongeau said with a chuckle. “And I must say I’m mighty impressed. Who would have known he’d be so great with children?”

“He tragically lost his daughter years ago.”

Doctor Mongeau nodded empathetically and adjusted the weight of his body. “That explains a lot … though not quite everything.” Ariah’s brow perked. What did he mean by that? Losing his train of thought, he sighed and brought two fingers against his temple.

Ariah reached across the table and laid her palm upon his shoulder. She smiled and gave a gentle squeeze, her voice softening to a tranquil whisper. “Perhaps you ought to be heading home for the night.”

Doctor Mongeau shook his head. Various emotions crossed over his weathered features – and each piqued her curiosity further. “I was wrong, madame. And it shames me. That morning – when I first saw Gabriel … I should have never said such things. I should have never told you to forget him.”

“It was understandable. You were only trying to protect me and my family.”

Doctor Mongeau offered no response. Emmaline’s laughter filled the small space, imbuing the moment with a haunting ambiance. Then he leaned forward, locked onto Ariah’s gaze, and seized her hands with his own. His palms felt like leather and his knuckles appeared translucent. His hands trembled against her fingers, reminding Ariah of his sheer fragility. Intricate webs of blue veins pulsated beneath the pale skin.

She absently traced the design on the back of Doctor Mongeau's gnarled hand. His fingers had once been strong and sure; now they were thin, fragile, and splattered with brown spots. His eyes appeared deeper-set than usual, and a fine sheen of sweat covered his bald patch. Though an inner strength still prevailed; Ariah saw the determination in his gaze, could feel it surging through his body. His grin rearranged the wrinkles that embedded his face, making them appear pronounced in some places and nonexistent in others.

And when their eyes met once more, her breath caught. She knew he was about to say something profound. She felt it with every heartbeat.

“You are like a daughter to me …” His words broke off mid-sentence. “You have a pure heart, Ariah. A truly good, kind heart. It’s a rare thing and one that has great value in today’s world. I know you’ve been through dark times – though you’ve never spoken of them. We’re a sort of kindred spirit, you and me. You fill me with pride.” He exhaled a painful, long-suffering breath and lifted her knuckles against his lips. “Never abandon your gentle nature or trust in people. Promise me this.”

There were so many things she needed to say. She ached to share a part of herself – that dark part of herself that he’d so easily recognized. She needed to confess that it was him and Jacques who’d taught her to trust people once again. But all words lodged inside her throat. Tears pricked her eyes and threatened to spill down her cheeks. The realization slammed against her chest with the force of a hammer. She saw it within Doctor Mongeau’s stare … heard it in each of his words. Her hands quaked against his own. She tightened her grasp, as if the small gesture would prevent him from ever slipping away.