Finding Grace: A Novel (43 page)

"And you, sir?" he asked Henry.

"What does it matter?"

"Only family members are being allowed in at
this time," the doctor stated. "We've been turning people away left
and right over the last hour or so."

"This is Mr. Shaw. He's family," Alice lied.
"Now, what about Grace?"

"She will recover in time, but right now
she’s in poor condition," the doctor said. "The bullet did not
strike any major organs, but it both entered and exited the body
through her left side, causing a very serious wound. The loss of
blood was extensive, but we've brought that under control. What
we're concerned about now is the risk of infection. We've given her
medication to ward it off, but there is always the possibility of
complications."

"How is she now?" Alice asked. "When can we
see her?"

"I'll take you in now," the doctor said,
leading them down the hall. "She's asleep, and may not wake up for
some time.” They approached the room. "The shock to the body was
extreme, and she has been heavily medicated."

He opened the door to the room, and Jack and
Alice went in quickly. Both gave slight, soft cries as they saw
Grace lying there in her hospital bed. Henry felt a wave of nausea
hit him as he looked at her.

She was a sickly shade of pale...so much so,
he almost swore she was dead. Lying on her back, her eyes closed,
she was eerily still. Her dress had been replaced by a stark
hospital gown. Her hair, removed from its decorative upsweep, was
clean and combed down smooth. Her little sequined hair combs were
lying on the bedside table, along with her little gold
bracelet.

Sweet Jesus, why have they left her this
way?

It all looked so cold, so set...so final. As
if they were making her ready for the grave.

Standing in the doorway, he couldn't bear to
take a step closer to her. If he did, he feared he would fall at
her side and weep. It was all he could do to remain upright as the
doctor came near, preparing to go. Henry placed a hand on the man's
arm.

"What about the gentleman who was brought in
with her?" he asked. "How is he?"

The doctor shook his head. "I'm sorry Mr.
Shaw.” His voice was low. "The gentleman was dead on arrival."

Henry felt himself lean heavily against the
door frame, his whole body feeling like a massive lead weight. He
brought his hands up to cover his face and slowly sank down to a
spot on the floor, feeling as if the whole world was coming down
around him

* * * * *

For nearly an hour Jack and Alice remained
at her bedside, as Henry remained sitting on the floor near the
doorway. After a long time, a nurse came into the room, and Henry
rose from the floor and followed her.

"Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Langdon," she said.
"It's nearly dawn. The doctor asks that Miss Grace be left alone
for a time, so we can tend to her and allow her time to rest."

Jack, who had been sitting beside Alice and
holding her hand, grumbled a curse under his breath.

"How soon can we come back?" Alice asked for
him.

"This afternoon will be fine," the nurse
replied kindly.

Alice nodded her head, rising to her feet,
and gently she prodded Jack to do the same. Reluctantly he stood,
leaning down to place a kiss on Grace's forehead. Alice did the
same, and together they turned and walked past Henry into the hall.
Henry gave a last long look into the room at Grace, then slowly
turned and followed the couple out.

* * * * *

The drive home was a silent one. Not a word
was spoken between the three of them, even when Henry pulled into
the driveway to let Jack and Alice out of the car. It wasn't until
Jack got out and slammed his door, and headed around to help his
wife out on her side that Alice finally turned to Henry and
spoke.

"This isn't your fault. It just happened,
and that's all there is to say about it. Grace would not want you
to blame yourself. Remember that."

Such words were of little comfort to him,
though he nodded his head in response. As Jack helped his wife out
of the car, Henry saw from the corner of his eye that the man stood
waiting for something. Something told him that Jack was waiting
until his wife was out of earshot, and Henry braced for what he
knew would come next. A moment later, Jack stood by the car door,
waiting, and Henry stepped out to stand before him. Neither man
looked at each other, until Jack turned with blazing eyes of
fury.

"You have no idea what it would mean to me
to break your neck right now.” His hands were clenched in fists of
rage. "You promised to take care of my sister, and you didn't." He
clenched his jaw, and the muscle in it throbbed a little. "But I
will not put my wife through anything else. And my sister, sick as
she is, would be angry at me for trying to get rid of you. So
you’re going to do something to make it up to her."

Stunned, Henry looked at him. "What?"

"I want you to get the best lawyer you can
find, and see that Charlie Hillard never sees the light of day
again. If he is shot by a firing squad, or strung up from a
gallows, all the better. Just see that he gets exactly what he
deserves."

Without another word, Jack turned and walked
across the street into his house. Henry turned to his own door, and
as he did, the housekeeper came to meet him, telling him he had an
important phone call. He hurried inside to answer it, and it was a
policeman on the other end.

"Mr. Shaw, this is Detective Taylor at the
Cook County jail. We have some urgent news about Charlie
Hillard."

Henry snorted. "What about him?" he
asked.

"We're calling to inform you that Mr.
Hillard is dead. He hung himself in his jail cell last night."

Chapter 22

“
The Shadow of
Death”

She could hear voices. She knew the familiar
sound of Jack's voice, speaking to Alice. Henry's voice too, deep
and soothing. They were all speaking, and yet she couldn’t answer
them, and there was darkness all around. Then a voice she didn’t
know started giving her orders, commanding her to wake up and open
her eyes.

Who are
you
? She wondered. The voice became more
demanding. She grew frustrated and angry.
Why won't you go away and leave me alone? All I want is to
sleep.

But the voice was unrelenting, and her
muddled and throbbing brain began to stir. She couldn’t ignore the
commands any longer. Her eyes started to perceive light as they
opened heavily. All she wanted was to sleep, but a great burning
pain seized her left side, knifing from front to back. She groaned,
whimpered, and then she felt a presence at her side. Her eyes
opened fully and she saw Jack standing there. Alice was beside him,
and at the foot of the bed, she recognized Henry. She tried to
speak, but her mouth was as dry as cotton. Jack came to her
aid.

"Get a glass of water, quick.”

It was Alice who brought it to her, holding
it to her parched lips, and she drank heartily. But before her
thirst was quenched, the nurse ordered the water away.

"Only give her a little, or she'll bring it
back up."

Almost at the moment the nurse said it,
Grace felt her insides do a violent summersault. And then her nose
was burning with fluid, her mouth tasting vile as she emptied her
stomach into a pan put before her. A wet cloth was put to her,
helping her wipe the mess from her face. But feeling mortified, she
pushed the nurse's hands away.

"As I said," the nurse told them. "The
medication has an effect on the stomach. Too much water will do
this. But the symptoms should ease with time."

It was meant to sound kind, nurturing. But
all Grace could feel was resentment.

Evil witch. I wish she would get away from
me.

Almost as if sensing the hostility coming
from her patient, the nurse excused herself for a moment, and Grace
was glad to see her go. She looked again at Jack, Alice, and Henry.
At long last, she found the will to speak.

"What happened?"

Jack stepped forward. “You’ve been here for
over a week. But you’re awake now, and the doctor says you’ll be
fine.”

She looked at him, sensing that he was
keeping something from her. She asked her question again.

“
What happened?”

They all looked from one to
another, and she sensed with great frustration that they
were
all
keeping
something from her. The pain in her body and mind was so intense,
it made her temper very short. "Don't try to fool me," she
whimpered.

It was Alice who finally spoke up, in her
soft and calm way. "You were shot, Gracie. By Charlie."

Shot? How can that be?

And yet the pain tearing through her body
seemed to confirm it. With every breath she took, she felt the
sharpness of her wounds. Then another kind of pain came to her, one
of the mind and heart, as she remembered who had been with her in
those last moments.

"What about Toby?"

There was a silence, and she saw how they
all looked at each other. It was all she needed to hear. She closed
her eyes, feeling a deep hollowness opening up inside her. But
tears didn’t come. All she felt was numbness. Nothing seemed real,
and reaching down at her side, she pinched a random piece of her
own flesh to see if it hurt. The pain from it was real. And the
gravity of everything fell together, hitting her like a slap to the
face. She felt Jack reach up and brush his hand over her forehead,
and it took everything in her not to knock his hand away. Part of
her knew he wasn’t to blame, but she could barely control the
tempest raging inside of her.

“
Please leave me
alone.”

They looked at her, seeming wounded. And it
only made her angrier. And yet, she managed to hang on to a sense
of kindness, if only by a tiny bit. She asked them again. “Please
go away. I’m tired and I want to sleep.”

The nurse, who had stepped out for a moment,
came back. “We need to check the bandages and tend to her other
needs.”

Jack and Alice both kissed her on the
forehead. “We’ll be back first thing in the morning.”

Good God, why?
She wanted to ask. She didn’t want to see them. At
that moment she didn’t want to see any of them, not even Henry, who
stood at the foot of the bed, never saying a word. He hardly took
his eyes from her the entire time, and when it came time to leave,
he seemed reluctant to do so. But gradually he moved out, following
Jack and Alice. And she was glad to be rid of them. But there was
still the nurse, who soon had a companion to help her. Their cold
hands forced her up, and she gasped in agony and fought back tears
of pain. They were methodical in their work, removing the wrapping
and cleaning the wound, then re-wrapping it and letting her lay
back and rest. But the reprieve was only for a moment, for they
came back to her with fresh water and sponges, cleaning her from
head to toe. And finally they finished and let her be. Exhausted
and hurting, inside and out, there was no need for the medicine
they gave her, though she was forced to take it. Only moments later
she was falling into darkness again, and into the blissful realm of
knowing nothing.

* * * * *

For several days more, she drifted in and
out of darkness. The medication kept her in a swirl of lost time,
and she didn’t care to change it. But there were moments she
couldn’t ignore, particularly when the doctor and nurses came to
tend to her. She hated the three of them. All they did was cause
her pain as her body was manipulated and her wounds were tended to,
and it took all of her self-discipline not to strike them every
time they touched her. After suffering at their hands, she longed
for the potent medication that took her away. Only sleep seemed to
be a way to find peace.

Flower arrangements were brought in for her
and placed around the room, gifts from various friends and well
wishers. Pete and others from the club came once with wishes for
her recovery, as did various members from the church. Even Mike,
the milkman, stopped by for a visit and a word of good will, and he
left behind a little stuffed cow as a gift. She tried to be polite
to all of her visitors.

But behind the little smiles she managed,
she was tormented by darkness and guilt. Absorbed in her pain, and
consumed by heartbroken thoughts of Charlie and Toby, she silently
wished that she did not have any visitors there to hover over her.
All she wanted was to be alone in her grief and suffering, but she
knew they would never leave her side. So she found some comfort in
the numbness of sleep, and though she hated the idea of being out
of her own control, she let the oblivion of the medicine take her
away from everything.

* * * * *

The sun came through the window and she
blinked, and her brain protested the invasion of light. She wanted
to get up and rush to the window to draw the curtains, but when she
tried to move, the pain in her side screamed otherwise, and she
gritted her teeth and groaned. Alone in the room with nothing but
her pain and her thoughts, the feeling of sorrow began to return to
her, deep and anguished. In sleep, at least there was some relief
from the physical pain. But even there, she could not escape from
the memory of Toby. He was there in her dreams, smiling in his
wonderful way, so sweet as he had always been.

Had been
, she thought. It made a lump form in her throat, and free
from any witnesses, her eyes filled with great burning tears.
Though she could not remember the inflection of her wounds, she
could still recall how he had stepped in front of her, as if to
shield her from harm. But how could he have known that he would
make the greatest sacrifice? Good God, how it hurt to think to
think that an innocent man, a good man, had given his life for her.
If only it had been her, and not him. She had been prepared from an
early age to go home to God, and if she had been able to choose,
she would gladly have taken his place. But it was not to be, and
she wept bitterly at the cruelty of it all. And that cruelty seemed
to have seeped into her very bones. Even as she wept for Toby's
loss, she mourned the loss of her freedom. The simple abilities of
moving, of going where she wished, were both impossible in her
current state, and she wished with all her heart that she could
just disappear.