Finding Home (19 page)

Sarah listened to Buck and Charlotte
talk about the morning they discovered she was gone and all that they’d done
over the years to find her.  It broke her heart to hear their first-hand
accounts, to know that when she was oblivious in her little world in Waco,
theirs was upside down and heartbroken.  She focused on the people who
were her parents, Buck and Charlotte.  Considering Tag was in his
mid-thirties, she figured Buck and Charlotte had to be in their late fifties or
early sixties, at least.  They looked fantastic, though.  Buck wore black
jeans, black cowboy boots and a dark blue button down shirt and looked like
what he was, a rancher who would rather be out on a horse working his
land.  Charlotte had shoulder-length dark blonde hair that Sarah knew was
once the same color as hers.  She wore a cream colored pant suit with a
peach shell under her jacket.  She looked elegant in a way Sarah had never
been able to pull off.  There was a kindness to her face that Sarah knew
came from shared sorrow with many of the people the Foundation helped. 

Colt came and lifted her so that he
could sit with her in his lap.  She turned her head to meet his gaze and
closed her eyes when he pressed a kiss to her brow.  He’d been so good for
her through all of this.  She realized once she’d gotten over her initial
upset with him that she couldn’t imagine facing it all without him by her side.

“So, Colt,” Buck spoke, “Tag tells me
you were an Army Ranger.”

“Yes, sir, for nearly eight years.”

“And now you do contract work for
Orion Securities?”

“Among other things.”

“How long have you and Sarah been
together?” Charlotte asked.

Sarah turned her attention to Vivian
while Colt answered the same questions he’d answered for Tag earlier. 
Vivian also was a picture of sophistication and elegance.  She sat next to
her very quiet husband, Heath, wearing a green designer dress and flesh colored
Louboutin heels with their signature red sole.  Never in a million years
would Sarah ever be able to walk in shoes like those but Vivian had made it
look like second nature. 

“What do you do, Sarah?” Charlotte
asked.

“I’m a data entry clerk for a small
Christian giftware company.  We make little prayer cards and cards with
your name, its meaning and a Bible verse…among other things.  I’ve been
there since I was sixteen.”

“You’ve worked for the same company
since you were sixteen?” Heath asked, finally breaking his silence. 
“That’s impressive.  You don’t see that much these days.  Not from
someone your age.”

“Waco is a small town, there aren’t
many options for someone without a degree other than the usual, food service,
grocery or retail places.  Office jobs are hard to come by,” she replied.

“I agree with Heath,” Charlotte said.
“It is wonderful that you have stayed with the same job.”

Sarah’s hand tightened on
Colt’s.  He leaned down and placed his lips near her ear.

“Relax, babe,” he whispered to her.

Tag, seeing Sarah’s sudden
discomfort, came to her rescue by changing the subject.

“We’re going to need to issue a Press
Release,” he said, his hand coming to rest on Sarah’s shoulder briefly, giving
her a squeeze.

“Yes,” Charlotte agreed, “I’m sorry for
this part, Sarah…but the Foundation has been in the public eye enough that
finding you will be a big story.  I wish there was a way to avoid that,
but there really isn’t.”

“I understand,” she said, her voice
small.

Colt caught the tone in her voice and
stood, helping her to her feet.  “Excuse us a moment,” he said to them,
leading Sarah into one of the downstairs bedrooms.  “Are you OK?”

“No,” she admitted, “this is all so…I
don’t have the words for how I feel right now, Colt.  I miss my
parents.  I loved them…and these people…they’re really nice and I’m afraid
that, if I come to care for them, then that would somehow be disloyal to my
parents, who, face it, could have turned me back over to those people and then
we’d have never gone through all of this and I just don’t know how to feel
about all of that,” she cried.

Colt gathered her into his arms, his
big hand cradling the back of her head, his other hand gently rubbing her
back. 

“It’s OK for you to feel like that,
baby.  They are good people.  And your parents did love you. 
You’re entitled to feel conflicted.”

            “They
are from a totally different world than I grew up in, Colt.  I felt…when
they were asking about my job, I felt…”

“Listen to me,” he said, pulling back
so he could look her in the eye.  “You are not your job.  It’s just
what you do to pay the bills.  You are what is inside your heart. 
You are a beautiful, sweet, caring woman, Sarah Sauter, and I love you for
you.  Not for what your job is.  If you wanted to keep working at
Sunday’s Gifts for the rest of your life, I would support you a hundred and ten
percent.  If you want to go to college and get your degree, I would
support you in that.  If you want to someday quit work and be a
stay-home-mom to our kids, I’d support that too.”

Sarah laughed then, wiping her
tears.  “Our kids?”

“Yeah, our kids.  Someday. 
The point is, Sarah, that it doesn’t matter what you do.  I will love you
no matter what, and those people in there?  They’re gonna love you no
matter what, too.”

She nodded.  “I wish my mom had
told me all of this before she died.  I think I would have handled it so
much better than she thought I would, I don’t hate her or my dad.  I just
wish they would have told me,” she cried, fisting her hands in his shirt and
burying her face in his chest.

“I know, baby,” he soothed, his heart
aching for her.

A knock sounded on the door and he
looked up to see Charlotte come in, a look of concern on her face.  Colt
was conflicted as to whether he should let her stay or ask her to give Sarah
time, but Sarah resolved that for him, stepping back from him and going
directly to Charlotte’s arms.

“I’m so sorry we didn’t protect you,”
Charlotte cried, cradling Sarah to her. Colt shoved his hands in his pockets,
feeling helpless to stop Sarah’s pain.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Sarah
whispered, “and my parents, the Sauters, they did love me.  They never
treated me like I wasn’t theirs.  You should know that.  They were
good to me and they gave me all they had.”

Charlotte nodded.  “I’m so
relieved to know that.  And even though we named you Christine, Sarah is a
beautiful name and it fits you.  I don’t want you to stop loving the
people who raised you.  They made you into the beautiful young woman you
are today.  All I ask is that you allow us a chance to get to know you,
and that you allow us to be part of your life.”

“I can do that,” Sarah said softly.

“And you,” Charlotte said, turning to
Colt and cupping his face in her hands.  “From what I’ve seen, Buck and I
could not have asked for a better man to take care of our baby girl. 
Thank you, for being there for her.”

Sarah met Colt’s eyes and took a deep
breath, feeling a knot loosen in her chest for the first time since all this
began.

Colt felt like he’d been hit by a
freight train.  The emotions of the day were overwhelming.  Not long
after Charlotte left them, Colt settled everyone into guest rooms and then took
Sarah to bed.  He could tell that Buck and Tag hadn’t been thrilled with Sarah
sharing his room, but wisely held silent.  Sarah had been exhausted when
they reached their room.  She’d stripped out of her clothes, pulled on the
T-shirt he wore yesterday and crawled into bed, curling into a fetal position,
hugging her pillow close.  Colt had stood at the side of the bed and
watched her, wondering what he could do to help her.  In the end, he
simply climbed in with her and wrapped her up in his arms.  She’d slid her
palms over his forearms and hugged his arms tighter to her and then she began
to cry, silent sobs that shook her entire body.  It broke his heart but he
held her through it, kissing her neck and stroking her hair. 

Now, she was finally asleep and he
was wrecked.  He carefully disentangled himself and went downstairs to the
bar, poured himself a glass of whiskey and went outside to stand on the
veranda.  He was worried about Sarah.  It bothered him that she was
defending the Sauters.  Hopefully, this was something she would get over
once the initial shock wore off and she started really thinking about what had
been done to her.

The door opened behind him and he
turned to see Buck step outside.  In the blue light from the near full
moon, it was hard to see the older man’s features, but Colt could easily read
his body language.  Buck was just as drained as he was.

“Thought I heard someone come
outside,” Buck said, settling beside Colt on the rail.  “Mind if I smoke?”
he asked, showing Colt a cigar he’d drawn from his pocket.

“Not at all,” Colt answered.  He
watched Buck light the cigar and take a long, deep pull from it.

“I don’t smoke often…but after a
night like tonight…”

Colt swirled the amber liquid in his
glass.  “I certainly understand.”

“Is Sarah asleep?”

Colt nodded.  “Finally. 
It’s been a rough day for her.”

“Charlotte has been all over the
emotional scale since Tag called us.  As Sarah’s father, I’ve dreamt of
this day ever since we discovered her missing.  But, over the years, being
involved in the investigations of so many missing, you start to expect the
worst.  I fully expected to get a call that her remains had been recovered
somewhere.”

“What can you tell me about the
kidnappers?  How did you receive the ransom demand?”

Buck sighed.  “We got a call,
two days after the abduction.  The voice was electronically altered. 
They got in through her bedroom window.  We didn’t have an alarm back
then.  Hell, we are on a ranch.  Nearest neighbor is five miles
away.  We didn’t even lock the doors half the time.  Foolish, now
that I look back on it, but at the time…”

“You thought you were safe,” Colt
finished.

“We did.  Charlotte slept in
Christine’s room for months after the abduction.  It almost tore us apart. 
If not for Tag and Viv, I don’t know that we would have survived it.  But
as much as we ached for our baby, we still had two kids who needed us. 
And Tag was having a particularly hard time with it all.  He was the one
who discovered her missing.  After questioning and a few sessions with a
therapist, it came out that he remembered hearing footsteps in the hall in the
night.  He thought at the time it was me.”

“God,” Colt bit out, knowing how that
would have weighed on her brother.

“Yeah.  There were times, in
those first months, that I railed at God.  How could He let this
happen?  What had we done wrong, that kind of stuff.  Then we started
getting involved in the investigative side.  We met with other parents of
missing children and came up with the Foundation to help fund our investigation
and help others.  It helped.  Staying busy, staying involved. 
And all this time, she was in Texas.  Do you know how many times Charlotte
and I have been in Waco over the years?  Speaking at Baylor, at Waco P.D.
and D.P.S. there.  And she was right there.”

“They kept her pretty well hidden,
Buck.  She rarely left her own neighborhood.  Even if you lived in
Waco, the probability of you running into her would have been next to nothing,
or even coming across anyone who knew her for that matter.  You can’t beat
yourself up over that.”

“I know.  Doesn’t make me feel
any better about it.  That beautiful young woman up there, is my
baby.  My baby girl.  The last time I saw her, she fit in the crook
of my arm like a football.  She was the most beautiful baby I’d ever
seen…and Vivian was pretty darn beautiful, so that’s saying something.”

Colt could hear the pride and the
pain in the older man’s voice as he spoke of the baby girl who filled his
memories.  So much heartache for all involved.  He wondered how they
began to pick up the pieces and make a new life.  For that matter, he
wondered what Sarah’s future would hold as far as the Bainbridges were
concerned.  Would they want her to come stay with them in Wyoming at some
point?  If she did, would he be willing to leave Claire and the girls and
go with her?  Were they to that point yet?  He’d told her he loved
her several times.  She’d yet to say it back to him.  Considering all
she’d been through the last few days, he was willing to let it slide, but he
had to admit it did bother him. 

“Linda Sauter left a box of papers
and keepsakes for Sarah, it’s where we found that letter.  In that box, we
found pictures of her, every year with a newspaper dated December 27
^th
. 
The day Sherry Alexander brought her to them.  They told Sarah that was
her birthdate and taking her picture with the paper was her yearly birthday
picture.”

“Proof of Life pictures,” Buck said.

“Yes.  But why?  You never
received ransom demands after the 27
^th
, correct?”

“Not a one.”

Colt shook his head.  “Why would
they continue to take Proof of Life pictures?  Hell, they made it such a
part of Sarah’s life that after they passed, she continued to do it, having
friends take her picture on that date, holding the newspaper.”

“Dear God,” Buck said, scrubbing his
hand over his face wearily.

“She’s going to need counseling,
Buck,” Colt said, “she was in there crying for her mother.  Linda. 
It hasn’t fully hit her what those people did to her.”

Buck sighed.  “Unfortunately, it
may not hit her for a while.  We’ve seen similar cases.  Not quite
like this, but cases where a child was held for years and developed a bond with
their captor.  Similar to Stockholm Syndrome but different, too, because
it involves a child.  These people cared for her and raised her as their
own, which is unusual.  No abuse, physical, sexual, verbal.”

“They kept her from her family and
made her think she’s someone she’s not.  If that’s not psychological
abuse, I don’t know what is,” Colt said, his tone brisk.

A slight smile touched Buck’s
lips.  “You care for her, a great deal.  It’s good to know she isn’t
going through all of this alone.”

“She’s been alone for far too long,”
Colt said, downing the rest of his whiskey.  “I better go check on her.”

“You know, had she grown up under my
roof, no way in hell I’d be letting you share a room with her.  Just
saying.”

Colt smiled and extended his hand to
Buck.  “I get what you’re saying, and no disrespect intended, I assure
you, but no way in hell I’m leaving her alone.  I intend to be there for
her through all of this, and beyond.”

Buck took Colt’s hand, shaking
it.  “I know you do, son, and I appreciate it more than you could ever
know.”

Colt left Buck to finish his cigar
and went into the kitchen, rinsed out his glass, then went upstairs.  When
he opened the door to their room, he was surprised to find Sarah sitting up in
bed, phone in hand, checking her email.

“Hey,” he said, quietly shutting the
door behind him.  “Everything all right?”

She nodded, brushing her hair away
from her face.  “I turned over and you weren’t there.  I stepped out
on the balcony and heard you talking to Buck.”

He settled into the bed and gathered
her into his arms.  “I’m sorry, I thought you were out.”

She snuggled against him, twisting
her hand in his shirt.  “It’s all right.  Not sure what woke me up.”

“You’ve had an emotional day, not
surprising that you couldn’t sleep.”

“Well, I did take a nap earlier,
remember?”

He kissed the side of her head. 
“Yeah,”

They sat in silence a moment just
relaxing in each other’s arms.  Colt was just beginning to doze off when
Sarah’s hand slid under his shirt, caressing his abs.  He grunted in
approval, emboldening her.  She sat up and took his shirt in her hands,
lifting it over his head and tossing it aside, then leaning down to press a
kiss over his heart.  He buried his fingers in her hair and drew in a deep,
ragged breath as her lips made their way across his chest and down his abs, her
fingers curling in the waistband of his warm-ups as she worked her way lower.

“Sarah,” he breathed when she tugged
his pants down, “baby, you don’t…damn,” he growled when her lips slid over him.

Sarah shut the door on any thought
and turned herself over just to seeing to his pleasure.  She didn’t want
to think about all that happened today, all she learned and what it could mean
for her.  All she cared about was Colt, his body, his pleasure. 
Knowing that she could bring such a powerful man to the brink like this with
just her touch was heady.  She loved that she had a measure of power over
him and loved exploring just how far she could take him before his alpha tendencies
took over.  She could tell, however, that he was trying to hold back,
trying to give her whatever it was she needed from him.

“Sarah,” he growled, his hand flexing
in her hair, pulling her head up.  “Come here,” he demanded.

“But I…” she began but was silenced
when he put his hands under her arms and hauled her up his body, crushing his
mouth down on hers.  It wasn’t long before he’d reversed their positions
and had her tucked beneath him, slamming into her with a teeth-jarring
fierceness that secretly thrilled her.  “Yes, Colt!” she cried as he
pounded into her, her nails digging into his shoulders.

“Hold on tight, baby,” he said to
her, smiling down at her.

Later, sated and panting, Colt held
her close, gently kissing her lips then trailing his lips down her neck before
finally letting sleep pull him under.  He hadn’t said I love you to her
that time; she hadn’t said it, either, but just then he felt they really didn’t
need the words.  They fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, a solitary
unit in the eye of the storm that surrounded them.

After only a couple hours sleep,
Sarah jolted awake, knowing instinctively she was again alone in the enormous
bed.  She heard the shower running so she knew Colt wasn’t far.  Part
of her wanted to get up and join him, but another just wanted to curl up and
close her eyes and sleep for the next five years.  She didn’t want to go
downstairs; didn’t want to face the Bainbridges yet again.  It hurt too
much to see them, to see the hope in their eyes when they looked at her. 
She didn’t know how to be what they needed her to be. 

Her eyes were drawn to the bathroom
door.  Would she have eventually found the Bainbridges had Colt not
entered her life?  She supposed she would have opened her mother’s box
sooner or later.  But would she have had the guts to follow through with
trying to find them once she read her mother’s letter?  Would she have
even known how to begin to look for them without Colt’s help?  She already
knew the answer to all of that.  Prior to Colt entering her life, she had
no desire to open that box. 

Outside their room, she heard doors
opening and shutting.  Her “family” was up and moving about.  She
groaned.  It was tempting to just crawl back under the covers and hide in
her bed all day.

Throwing the covers off, she got up,
found his t-shirt and pulled it on then went into the bathroom.  He was in
the shower, his back to her, water glistening on his muscles and showing off
his elaborate tattoo.  Her fingers ached to trace the swirls on his
shoulder blade.  Unable to resist him, she pulled the shirt back off and
went to the shower door, opening it and stepping inside.

He smiled and drew her to him,
smoothing his palms over her face and hair before pressing his lips to
hers.  She ran her hands down his shoulders and back to cup and squeeze
his muscular butt.

“Good morning,” she murmured against
his lips.

“It is now,” he said, kissing
her. 

She smiled and ducked under the
spray, then sighed when he washed her hair for her.  They didn’t make love
this time, just enjoyed touching and kissing.  Sarah took a sponge and
washed his back and chest, later he returned the favor. 

“We should really see to our guests,”
he said much later, forehead pressed to hers, still holding her.

Sarah was combing her fingers through
his wet hair, loving the feel of it curling around her fingers.  She knew
he was right, that they needed to get dressed and see to her newfound family,
but right at that moment, she couldn’t fathom being anywhere but right there in
his arms.