Finding Justice (15 page)

“And what about you?”

She frowned. “What about me?”

“If Bennett—hell, if your boss finds out you put not one, but
two civilians in such a precarious position you’ll be kicked out of the
force.”

Cat stared, adrenaline pumping through her veins. “That’s a
risk I’m willing to take for my best friend. We have to do it if we stand any
chance of catching her killer sooner rather than later. It’s only a matter of
time before he leaves the Cove with or without that money. It’s been almost
three weeks since Sarah died. The money could already have been found, but it’s
unlikely. It will be somewhere another adult wouldn’t think of looking. We can
get Marian and George to search all the places we can think of.”

He came toward her and took her hand, leading her back to
couch. He pulled her down beside him. “Okay, we’ll ask them. They might shoot us
down in flames, but knowing them as we do, that’s highly unlikely. It makes me
sick to my stomach to think Sarah might’ve actually loved this guy.”

Tears burned behind Cat’s eyes. “I know. Love shouldn’t get you
killed.”

He turned and stared into her eyes. “Why not? I’d die for
you.”

The room fell into silence and Cat attempted to pull her hand
from his but his fingers clamped on tighter.

“Jay—”

“Don’t panic.” He smiled softly. “Take it as a given and move
on.”

She tugged on her hand and he let her go. What was she supposed
to say to that? She couldn’t deny he would risk his life for her. In her heart
she knew his words were true. He’d said he’d do anything for her seven years ago
and he said it now.

She met his eyes and promptly drowned in the sincerity, the
care, the love shining back at her but fought to the surface to survive.

“I have to go back to Reading, Jay.”

“And whatever is going on back home is stopping you from
fighting for this new chance for us to work, right?”

Heat pinched her cheeks. “No, of course not.”

“Then what is it, Cat? Is it me? My addiction? Because if it
is, I understand—”

“We’ve
both
changed so much, that’s
all.” Her gaze wandered over his face, taking in every line, every blemish,
every perfection. She wanted him; her entire body screamed for him. “We’re
living entirely different lives than we were before.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

She cupped a hand to his stubbled jaw. If only her mum... She
forced her hand back onto the couch.

“It’s not you.” She pressed her fingers into the soft cushions
to keep them out of trouble. Thoughts of the life waiting for her when she got
home pressed down on her chest. “Thinking about starting a relationship now...
What if I hurt you?”

“You wouldn’t—”

She shook her head, firmly shutting the door creaking on its
hinges in her heart. “I can’t do this. I can’t take that risk.”

Cat turned and stared ahead at the huge stone fireplace.
Sadness enveloped her. They would never work. It would be too much for both of
them. She shifted the subject as far away from the personal as possible.

“Sarah’s letter might not have given me the name of who she was
helping, but we’ll know when we find the money. She left the name of her killer
with the money.”

“What? Why would she do that?”

She turned. “Think about it. Whoever found the money would know
who killed her and have a serious decision to make. Would you want to hold on to
fifty grand when it was with a letter signed by a woman naming the man who
likely killed her? A woman whose face has been all over local television for the
past three weeks?

“She worked this out, Jay. If we find it, we have the name. If
somebody else finds it, then they have a name and fifty grand cash to hand into
the police. If the killer finds it—”

“He could take the money and the accusation and run.”

“Exactly. So, out of those three options, we hope to God it’s
not the last one and the money is still somewhere waiting to be found.”

“We’ll find it. I promise.”

She smiled at the renewed optimism shining bright in his eyes.
He was so handsome, so strong. Conquering his addiction was like a wrongful
aphrodisiac to her. It made him fifty times as attractive to her messed-up mind,
body and soul. God, she wanted him. Wanted him more than he realized. Just
having him near her brought feelings she had buried under a sea of pain, hurt
and frustration.

She closed her eyes and battled the need for him as it poured
hot and reckless into her blood.

“Sarah says in the letter she took the money from the person as
ransom. She’d only tell him where it is if he stopped what he was doing.” She
opened her eyes. “Someone must have seen her with him and Marian and George are
as good a starting place as any.”

His eyes darkened with regret. “I can’t think of anyone. I saw
her cross the street if she saw me coming toward her. I saw her leaving the
bakery without speaking to me. I saw her, but she didn’t want to see me, so I
haven’t a clue who he could be.”

“Was she always alone?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure? Maybe she was with the same person so often it
hasn’t registered. Maybe you know the person and think it couldn’t possibly be
them.”

He turned away and emitted a low, guttural moan of frustration
before shaking his head and staring at the ceiling. Cat stared at his profile.
As a young woman, she’d thought him her idol, and now, older, wiser and a cop,
he was her constant. The man she still loved.

He blew out an exhausted breath and turned to look at her.
“Just kiss me.”

Her breath caught. “What?”

He inched closer. “I said, kiss me.”

Her center ached and her nipples tingled. “Jay.” A pathetic
whisper of a laugh escaped. “Don’t be ridiculous. Didn’t you hear what I just
said? We can’t do this. The kiss in the forest—”

His lips crushed hers before she could speak another word.
Delicious shockwaves of pain and pleasure rocketed through her. He pulled her
forward in a tight grip, pulling her on top of him as he fell backward onto the
couch. Guilt scratched at the periphery of her conscience, but she ignored it,
pushed it away. Her breasts crushed against his hardened chest with erotic
disregard, and she scored her fingers into his hair, bringing him closer.

As she melted against him, her internal protestation against
them being together stormed inside her mind. She couldn’t let this happen.
Couldn’t risk her heart and his this way. Yet, where her intentions were strong,
her body and heart were weak. Just one time. Just one moment of being someone
else. The desperate need to be the woman she was before her father died broke
wide open.

His tongue found hers and she met its ardent warmth with
animalistic hunger. Memories and familiarity flooded her brain and emotions. A
primal moan escaped him and vibrated against her chest and into her mouth. They
took what they needed without finesse or tenderness. Sarah was dead. They clung
to each other as physical heat and need overtook their senses. Her body ached
for him; her heart wept for him.

Cat was forced to pull away for breath. Her blood rushed into
her mind, putting in a heady, exhilarating state of want. She met his eyes.

“We can’t do this.”

“We can. And we are. Let’s go to bed.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

W
ITH
HER
FINGERS
CAUGHT
in his, Cat let Jay lead her
into his bedroom. They moved straight to the bed. The jade-green drapes lay wide
open; a single bolt of moonlight split the dark silken duvet in two. She eased
her hand from his and crawled onto the bed, her heart slamming hard against her
rib cage, her stomach knotted with want and crazy abandon.

He stood immobile by the side of the bed and stared down at
her. Despite his face being in shadow, his admiration swept over her and Cat
felt beautiful.

His shaky exhalation broke the silence. “I feel as though we’ve
wasted a lifetime.”

Smiling, she held out her hand. “Then get up on this bed before
my common sense comes back.”

He slid his hands onto the bed and his body followed. Lying
down beside her, he cupped his hand to her jaw and Cat watched him watch her.
His thumb moved higher to graze softly against her bottom lip and she resisted
the urge to trap it between her teeth.

“I’m going to make love to you, Cat Forrester. I should never
have let you go.”

His lips came down on hers, claiming her, and Cat surrendered
to the emotions, need coursing through her blood and heating every hungry,
desirous inch of her body. Her breasts ached for his touch, for the release only
Jay could give her.

She returned his kiss, gently teasing him with the soft
provocation of her tongue against his, pulling back to tease his lower lip, then
plunging back inside, her tongue an appetizer to everything her body wanted from
him.

He groaned and pulled her over on top of him, his hands tugging
her blouse from her skirt so his fingers could slide over her back. Her skirt
was a crumpled mess high on her hips as her naked legs welcomed the harsh scrape
of denim. The cool air sliced across her skin, ironically fanning the flames
burning beneath her semi-exposed panties. All that separated them was a scrap of
cotton and the thick denim of his jeans. Cat pressed her groin to his.

She opened her eyes and watched his closed lids flicker and
jolt, as he moved his hands from her back to grip her buttocks and draw her
closer. The distinct coolness licked at her core, readying her. She increased
the pressure of her mouth, taking more of him, fueling his arousal and hers. He
needed to know how she wanted this. Needed to know this was as much for her as
it was for him, despite everything she said minutes before. She hadn’t lied to
him. They couldn’t last, but they could have this. A moment she’d hold in her
heart and never regret.

Her mum, her real world, felt far away. Hidden in another place
where Jay need never discover it. There would be pain, there would be hurt, but
for the joy singing in her heart and forever in her memory right then, it would
be worth it. Jay cared for her. Always had.

Cat didn’t want the gentle, caring lover who worried about
hurting her, worried about being her first. That was before. She’d been with
other men since and today she was a grown woman. Exhaling as his teeth nipped at
her neck, she relished the erotic pain mixed with pleasure as it washed over her
senses.

“I want to touch you,” she whispered. “All of you.”

Drawing away from him, she inched back until she sat upright
against his groin. Feminine power roared through her blood as the delicious feel
of his erection through his jeans touched her naked thigh. With her gaze locked
on his, Cat slowly unbuttoned her blouse. His eyes widened and his jaw grew
tight as she tossed it to the side and reached around to unhitch her bra.

She flung it to the side, her nipples tightening under his
gaze. “Your turn.”

He sat up and their faces were barely inches apart. Lust
swirled in his eyes as hunger raged and desire burned. He clasped one naked
breast in his hand, massaged it possessively, swallowing Cat’s shocked gasp with
his mouth. Her arousal skyrocketed and she fumbled for the hem of his T-shirt
before roughly yanking it over his head. Their lips separated for seconds before
reclaiming as they fell back onto the bed.

Her breasts and torso nestled against the soft brush of hair
running across the middle of his chest and down his washboard stomach. Her heart
swelled and her mind emptied when he moaned her name.

He tilted her to the side so she lay on her back and Cat fell
into his gaze, unaware of anything but him. The sexy lift at the corner of his
mouth sent her insides into a girlish loop-the-loop as their connection slammed
into place and locked. She fought the fear of it, the resistance; they were
joined in finding their friend’s killer, and they were joined in their anger and
passion. They were joined.

However temporary, it didn’t make what was happening less
tantric. His fingers smoothed over her thigh and she clamped her teeth together.
His progress was tortuously slow, her body trembling with anticipation.

Silent understanding passed between them and Cat disregarded
the emotional tidal wave rising inside her, threatening to destroy every
intimate barrier she’d so meticulously erected since her mum’s downfall. This
was Jay. Her Jay. He wouldn’t hurt her, wouldn’t ask for more than she could
give. She was safe. She swallowed. Safe as a wooden house in the line of a
smoldering fire.

Her breath caught when his fingers roughly tugged her cotton
panties aside and he plunged his fingers deep. Tenderness was absent, possession
was rife and Cat’s eyelids grew heavy as he rediscovered her by moving within
her, his thumb simultaneously smoothing over her silky wet nub.

“Oh, God, Jay.”

He covered her mouth; his tongue sought hers. Cat clasped her
hand to the back of his head, demanding he kiss her longer, deeper. He teased
her with diligent precision. In and out, around and around. He massaged her to a
near frenzy until Cat’s toes curled and her heart raced.

Cat exhaled. “Take them off. I want you.”

He moved from the bed and stood. His eyes feasted on her as he
yanked his belt from its buckle and snapped open the buttons on his jeans. He
tugged the denim and underwear over his hips and muscular thighs in one slick
motion. Cat’s gaze shamelessly zoomed in on his arousal.

Some things certainly didn’t wither over time and her center
pulsed its appreciation. “Have you got a...”

He leaned toward his bedside cabinet and produced the wrapped
piece of permission. Tossing the packet on the cabinet surface, Jay climbed onto
the bed and slid close to her.

Cat ran her splayed hand over the broad expanse of his chest,
up and over the smooth plane of his shoulder and down over a biceps wider than
the span of her hand. She shifted and he fell back when her hand curled around
his shaft. She moved up and down the length of him, her thumb circling and
spreading the bead of moisture around its tip.

He muttered a curse and a wicked smile curved her lips as her
body trembled with need and impatience. Impatience she’d curb until they were
both ready, until she prepared him as he had her. She picked up the pace and
relished his guttural moans, rode the satisfaction when he flung his arm above
him to grip the iron headboard.

Faster and faster she rubbed him, bringing him closer to the
brink and then releasing him to cup his tight balls in her hand. His hand
dropped and he grappled for the condom. Releasing him, she took the packet from
his hand and ripped it open, feeling the power of his gaze on her. She rolled
the protection over him, taking her time, smoothing her hand over him again and
again until he pushed her back against the bed.

He held her hands above her head and she surrendered. Their
eyes locked as he kneed her legs open and moved between her thighs. His gaze
burned into hers as he probed the tip of his erection against her, teasing,
tempting, and then with a possessive thrust, he entered her.

Their gasps of relief punctured the air and his weight dropped
onto her. He slid his hands down the sides of her body, from the curve of her
breasts to her waist, until they slipped under her buttocks and hitched her
closer.

Cat shuddered beneath him as they moved, harder and harder,
then tantalizingly slow, then hard...

The waves built, lapping at the outskirts of her release. She
reached for him and curled her fingers around the muscular strength of his
shoulders, her nails digging into the hardened flesh. As he took her his eyes
filled with longing, possession...and love.

Every withheld emotion, any hope she dared to think or believe,
every desire she wanted and refused to act upon came to the surface. Her body
became his, her heart tipped closer and then they were there. He tensed beneath
her fingertips as her orgasm came closer. Cat couldn’t keep her eyes open any
longer. Her orgasm crashed through her and she cried out as her body convulsed
and tightened around him.

“Jay.”

A groan ripped from him, turning into a yell, her name
reverberating around the moonlit room making her feel like the most treasured
woman in the world.

“This isn’t it, Cat. This isn’t the only time.” His weight
dropped against her.

Cat held him as though the rest of her life depended on it even
as whispered warnings crept into her mind. They had made love without her
knowing for sure he was innocent. She’d made love to a man she wanted to trust
and love with everything she had. She had made love, and she would not cry.

* * *

T
HE
BRIGHT
MIDMORNING
sun filled Jay’s bedroom and Cat smiled. If she’d
been shy about her creeping, almost-age-thirty weight gain before, she had no
right to feel that way again. To say she was wanton and adventurous and
downright insatiable was an understatement. Jay groaned beside her and her smile
stretched.

Turning her head on the pillow, laughter bubbled in her throat
and her heart swelled dangerously in her chest. Jay lay facedown in the feather
pillow, one arm thrown across her torso, the other hanging limp over the edge of
the bed. She shoved him.

“Are you breathing?”

Silence.

Another shove. “Hey, Casanova, can you hear me?”

He turned so one brown eye met hers. “I think I’ve had a heart
attack.”

She grinned. “What’s the matter? Not enough stamina for a real
woman after all the lightweights you’ve been sleeping with over the last seven
years?”

“You’re not a woman.”

She laughed. “Excuse me?”

“Tossing a man of my size around the bed like he weighs next to
nothing isn’t normal.”

She sat up and grabbed her pillow and swiftly brought it down
on his head. “I did not toss you around the bed.”

He was up and had her pinned beneath him before she had time to
lift the pillow a second time. His teeth came down on the curve of her neck and
he savagely nibbled as her screams echoed around the room. Happiness tickled her
insides as she pummeled at his back.

“Say you’ll stay here forever and I’ll let you go.”

Cat froze. No. Not yet. Her happiness dissolved. “Jay, let me
up.”

He pulled back, concern creasing his handsome brow and clouding
his eyes. “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I have to say it. I want
you to stay.”

His gaze wandered over her face and suddenly his
super-king-size bed felt like a single divan. She wriggled to get out from
underneath him, thankful when he rolled to the side releasing her.

“We can’t be together. I told you that last night. Nothing’s
changed.”

“Why?”

“There’s stuff I can’t talk about. Please accept that.” Cat
scooted off the bed, taking the cover with her and wrapping it around her body.
“I’m taking a shower. We’ve got work to do.”

He stared. “Will you just talk to me?”

Distress shivered through her dousing the passion of the night
before like the coldest water being thrown over the most sensual and gloriously
romantic fire. She tilted her chin against the pain.

“Look, it’s a new day. Sarah comes first, okay?”

“You don’t want to talk. I get it. But you may as well know
right now that I don’t believe for one second that whatever it is making you
tense up like a coiled spring is work related.”

Annoyance prickled at her nerve endings and she scowled. “Will
you stop this? It’s not fair. We can’t make my being here about us. It’s about
Sarah.”

The ringing of her cell phone sliced through the atmosphere.
Cat marched across the room and snatched it from Jay’s bureau. “Cat
Forrester.”

“Did you have sex with him? Was it good?”

Revulsion curled into a knot deep inside Cat’s stomach. She met
Jay’s questioning gaze. “The caller,” she mouthed, tightening her grip on the
phone. “Well, good morning to you, too.”

His low burst of laughter was muffled beneath whatever disguise
he used to alter his voice. “Not much ruffles those fiery feathers of yours,
does it, Sergeant?”

“Did you ring for a chitchat or is there something you want to
tell me?”
Come on, you son of a bitch. Give me what you’ve
got.

Jay pushed off the bed and stood behind her. Unconcerned about
his nakedness, he slid his arms firmly around her and Cat trembled. Whoever
killed Sarah was watching them.

“What do you want? I haven’t got all day to stand around
talking to some damn coward who likes to hide behind a telephone instead of
facing me like a real man.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “If you’ve got something
to say to me, just say it.”

Even muffled, the coldness of his laugh seeped down the line
and into her blood.

“Oh, I’ve got plenty to say to you, Sergeant. Plenty. But
first, I want to play with the Cat a bit longer, stroke her fur like your
millionaire playboy just did.”

Her eyes snapped open as bile rose bitter in her throat. Jay’s
arms came tighter around her and she knew his face would be set in rage. She
loved him for letting her do her job, for curbing his masculine instincts until
she gave him the right and proper place to unleash them.