Finding Me (14 page)

She pulled her cell phone out of her purse, where she’d had it turned off all day. There were three messages—two from Denice just checking in and a third from Kenmore.

“I called to offer you the job at the store—hopefully you’re
still interested. I’m about to spend the afternoon fishing, so I’ll be out of pocket for the rest of the day. Why don’t you come by tomorrow, so we can talk face-to-face? I’ll be there all day, from about seven to seven. Stop by whenever it works out for you ’cause I’m not going anywhere.”

Seven to seven? No wonder the poor man was willing to offer a job to any stranger who darkened his door. At that moment, Kelli regretted that she wouldn’t be staying around to spend more time with him.

She fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time, her stomach hurting with the conflicting knowledge and emotions and memories from her entire life. Where was the truth?

Was she going to return home now and act as if nothing had changed? Keep moving forward while always wondering what had happened behind her?

No. Not if she could help it. Not if she could find some answers.

She put her clothes back in the closet. She was going to see Kenmore tomorrow. Who knew what would happen from there, but she wasn’t ready to give up just yet.

For my fifteenth birthday, we threw a party at our house. This was a big deal,
probably fifty kids, biggest event I’d ever thrown. Dad
and Mimi barbecued hamburgers and hotdogs for everyone and then retreated back into the house while the yard full of teenagers cranked up the music and acted like teenagers.

Janine Bradley, one of the popular girls who I’d invited more for reasons of social pressure than because I really wanted her there, came stumbling over. Her eyes were at
half-mast and she reeked of alcohol. “Killer party, Kel,”
she said, like we were the best of friends. She
took a big swig from her 7-Up bottle, which
obviously contained something other than soda.

“Janine, I promised my
folks there wouldn’t be any alcohol here. You need
to get rid of it.”

“Ha!” The party had suddenly
grown quiet. I could feel the eyes staring at us
from all around. “Your mother’s the one that gave
it to me. I think we should get her out
here to do shots with us.”

“That’s enough, Janine.”
Denice had come to stand beside me, her shoulder just touching mine.

Janine looked around, suddenly seeming to realize that we were drawing all the attention. “Hey, it’s not
like we all don’t like her or anything. Especially
you, right, Randy?” She turned toward Randy Staggs, the boy
who I’d spent the entire year crushing on, and laughed that kind of laugh fueled by a moment in the spotlight and too much alcohol. “All of you boys
have a crush on her, am I right?”

The yard had gone deathly quiet by now, Gwen Stefani’s voice coming through the speakers providing the only other sound.

Randy came strutting over, nudged right up against Janine. “You’ve
got to admit, she is hot.” He reached over and
took the bottle from Janine’s hand and poured the rest of the contents down his throat. He seemed to
choke for a second, but then wiped his hand across his mouth. That’s when he looked toward the back
door, a big smile on his face. “Definitely hot.”

Mimi had come out on the back porch, a drink in her hand that had no pretense of being anything other than the 7 and 7 that I knew it was.
Her tank top was low-cut, showing off the rewards
of her most recent foray into plastic surgery. She stuck
her hand in the air, moving in time with the music. “Great song. You all should be dancing.” And she
began to sway back and forth in time with the beat, showing absolutely no restraint, occasionally screeching along with the lyrics, “Ain’t no hollaback girl.”

The boys all moved a little closer, which prompted several of the girls to start doing their own dance in order to draw some of the attention away from Mimi. Everyone was laughing and
hooting and having a grand old time.

Denice whispered in my ear, “Forget her. She’s not worth it and
neither are any of them.”

That was the last time I ever invited anyone to my house, birthday or not, with the exception of Denice—and then Jones, once he
came along a few years later. For the past ten
years, it’s been only them. I was too embarrassed
to do otherwise.

17

K
elli rolled over and opened her left eye only. Sunlight streamed around the edges of the blackout curtains. She glanced toward the clock. 11:45. That brought her bolt upright in bed. She’d slept until almost noon.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and stretched her arms out straight. What was going on with her? She never slept in.

Of course, perhaps someone who didn’t actually exist didn’t actually have routines, either. She shook her head, trying to clear those kinds of thoughts. She needed to focus on the positive—the wonderful life she’d had for the past twenty-four years, the fact that her friends had all envied the way she and her father were so close.

Unable to face the day ahead just yet, she stayed in bed and channel-surfed until she couldn’t stand it any longer. Finally, she dragged herself into the shower and somehow managed to more or less pull herself together. She hadn’t eaten since the picnic yesterday, but she wasn’t hungry. Besides, she needed to get out to Kenmore’s store.

As she drove the winding country roads, Kelli wondered what
her life would have been like if she’d grown up here. Would she have made regular trips to this store as a child? And what about having Alison for a mother? From what she’d seen, it seemed so ideal, she knew it was too good to be true.

The homes were mostly brick, set on several country acres each, and though not large or fancy, they were well kept. On one driveway, a group of teenagers were gathered around a truck. They were all wearing T-shirts and shorts and flip-flops. She saw that they were removing coolers and inner tubes from the truck bed, which explained the wet ponytails sported by all the girls. There must be a lake or a river somewhere nearby. Kelli found herself wishing she would be around long enough to find out the answer.

The parking lot at Moore’s More Store held several cars. Would Kenmore be too busy to talk? She’d driven all the way out here—best to go in and wait it out.

Kelli opened the door and saw that there was a couple standing at the cash register and a woman lined up behind them. Nothing to do but wander down the aisles until Kenmore was free. She made it about two steps before she heard his voice.

“Hey, Kelli, come on over here. I was just telling Morris and Cheryl about you.”

The man looked to be in his sixties, gray hair, pleasant smile. “So you’re the young lady that’s going to come work with this old coot, huh? Well, good luck to you. I’ve known him all my life, and I can tell you right now, he’d drive me crazy if I had to spend more than a minute or two with him.”

“If that’s so, how is it you manage to fish with him for several hours at a time at least once a week?” The woman smiled a dare in her husband’s direction.

“That’s fishing. You don’t actually talk when you fish. He’s bearable until he opens his mouth.” There was much laughing all around the group as the man picked up his bag from the counter.
“Let me be the first to tell you welcome and I’m glad you’re here. This place has been sorely lacking in the class department since Frieda ran off and got married. I for one will be happy to see an improvement in that area.”

“Get out of here, you old pain in the rear.” Kenmore waved him toward the door and reached for the soda the woman next in line had put on the counter. As the door jangled its opening, Kenmore looked toward it. “See you at five-thirty tomorrow.”

“Yeah, yeah, see you then.” And Morris and Cheryl disappeared out the door.

Kelli pretended to study the rack of gum and candy while the soda buying was completed. Absently, she picked up a pack of Juicy Fruit and turned it over and over in her hands until she heard the cash drawer close after the transaction.

When she turned around, Kenmore was watching her. “So what do you say? How soon can you start?”

The determination to get even one more tidbit of information warred with Kelli’s prerehearsed plan to get out of here politely. She did manage to spit out her rehearsed line. “As much as I’d like to, I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to find a place to live so soon, especially since it would just be for the summer. I do thank you so much for the offer, though.”

“I’ve got a place you can rent. My son and I own a couple of rental units in town, and one just went vacant. Should be ready for you to move in in a couple of days. It’s one half of a duplex on a corner lot, nice place, if perhaps a bit old-fashioned. Nice older lady lives in the other half. Beth and Rand Thomas live just a couple of doors down. I think I heard them mention that they met you yesterday, and it would be nice for you to move near someone familiar, right?”

For a moment, Kelli simply stood there, too stunned to answer. “But I . . .”

Kenmore waved a hand in dismissal. “Don’t bother thanking me. It works out for both of us. Let’s see, I know there’s some paperwork we’ve got to fill out, so I’ll get that together this evening. Why don’t you stop back by here in the morning, and we’ll do everything all legal-like? You can start work next week, which gives you some time to settle in.” Kenmore reached for the bag of chips and soda a teenage girl had just set on the counter and started ringing it up. Conversation over.

“All right, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kelli was too surprised to say more. After she stumbled out the door and to her car, she thought about what had just transpired. What had she just agreed to?

The coals were glowing nice and hot when Shane heard his father’s truck pull into the driveway. He flipped the burgers onto the grill and sat back in the lawn chair, waiting for Pop to make his way outside.

“Got some good news for you.” Pop grimaced as he walked.

“Oh yeah, what kind?”

“I got us a renter for the duplex.”

“What? I’ve already started packing my stuff. Or have you forgotten you were the one who was anxious to have me move out of your house?”

“Yeah, well, it won’t hurt to have you with me for a few more months. The lease is just for the summer. And it’s not like you’ve got all that much, so it shouldn’t be a big deal to unpack.”

“We’ve never done short-term leases. I think you were the one who made that rule.”

“The only way Kelli could take the job was if she could find somewhere to rent. Since you have been the one insisting that I need to hire more help, I’m sure you’re willing to make the sacrifice of putting off your move for just a little bit.”