Finding Never (23 page)

I
drum my nails on the table and notice that the polish is chipped.
Beth sees me staring and smiles as she pours herself a glass of tea.

“
Want
me to get those for you?” she asks, and I can't help but smile,
even through my worry, because if Beth paints my nails like she did
for that last, fateful performance then I can really feel like I've
come full circle, like I'm back where I started, ready to make things
new again.
I'm so sorry, Noah,
I think, and I hope that after
he gets over the disappointment of losing me for a second time that
we can be friends. I've decided that it really isn't possible to
have too many of those, even if they send you texts that say,
just fcked Trini. Was so good! Think i'm in luv,
at
three in the morning. I sort of even miss Lacey and her yellow nails
and perfect blonde hair.

“
So,”
Beth begins as Ty pours two bowls of cereal and sits one down in
front of me. He smiles as he slumps in a chair and scoops massive
mouthfuls of Cheerios up with the pink plastic spoon that belongs to
Maple.
I fucking love you, Ty.
“What's on the agenda
today? Christmas shopping maybe? Oh, or we could watch some home
movies?” I think for a second, really think because I need to
come up with a place that Ty and I can be alone at, but where we
might actually be able to get some talking done. And I have to do it
fast. Every moment I wait is another betrayal, and I have to stop
the clock.

“
You
know what,” I say as I sit up and grab my own bowl. “I
actually have plans. With Ty.” He looks over at me but
doesn't question my words. He'll call me on bullshit, sure, but
something like this and he's all game. He might have a past that
burns like fire and eyes that could kill with a single glance, strike
right through the hearts of men and women alike, but he's all game
for spontaneous. I clean my bowl out and stand up, finished even
before Ty, which is a rare event for both of us. I hold out my hand, the
one with the gold ring, the one that holds a perfect, blood red ruby,
the one that Ty gave me and that I will never, ever let go of. “Ty,”
I say. “Come with me. There's someone I'd like you to meet.”

33

“
Ty
McCabe, I'd like you to meet my father, Nicholas Andre Ross.”
I pause next to the old headstone and lay my fingers across the
cement. My eyelids flutter closed of their own volition, and there's
a second there where I'm no longer inside my own head, where I'm
floating through the cemetery on the breeze, coming to rest with a
sea of dead leaves, melding into the earth. Being here is so …
refreshing. I've been avoiding it since I was ten and now, I cannot
believe I ever left. Despite what others may say, the dead are not
frightening; they are peaceful.

I
open my eyes and watch Ty in his scarf and coat. He is so
cute
like that; he makes me want to do things like
giggle
or
bite my lips. I resist both in honor of my father, and try not to
notice the way his hair is ruffled by the cold fingers of the wind,
how his dark eyes watch my every move with interest, with love.
Yesterday, he thought I was going to tell him something horrible.
What, I don't know, but now, he's even more cheerful than usual, if a
bit jumpy. On the drive over, he was fidgeting with his rings,
spinning them around on his fingers like I've never seen him do.
When he saw me watching him with a raised brow, he blurted something
interesting, something that I've tucked away for later. He told me
that the rings were passed down from his grandmother to his mother
and that that's why he took them. Because she didn't deserve them.
And then, of course, he clammed up and didn't speak another word
about it. I'm getting the feeling that encouraging Ty to talk about
his past is not going to be an easy thing to do.

“
Nice
to meet you, Mr. Ross,” Ty says as he kneels down and lays a
bouquet of black roses at the head of my father's grave. The flowers
were his suggestion, something beautiful, something dark.
Like
you,
he'd said. I smile at the memory. “I can assure you
that my intentions with your daughter are in no way honorable, and I
intend to ravage her quite savagely this evening.” I give in
and giggle which is just weird. Never Ross doesn't
giggle.
I
hold out my hand for Ty and he takes it, but instead of standing up,
he pulls me down and rolls us over so that his body is lying mostly
atop mine.

“
Tell
me something,” he says as he rests his head on my chest and I
stroke his hair with my fingers. “If I were to, say, ask you
to let me ravage you not only this evening, but everyday for the rest
of our lives, how might you respond to that?”

“
Sounds
good to me,” I respond, sighing in tune with a winter breeze.
I'm taking Ty's words figuratively, but he's serious. I can see that
as soon as he sits up and kneels between my legs. I've never had
fantasies about fucking in a cemetery but with Ty sitting there, it's
not hard to get ideas.

“
I
mean it, Never,” Ty says as he licks his lips and shakes his
head like he can't believe he's doing what he's doing. “Look,
I've been alone for a long time, forever it seems, and I've met a lot
of girls and I've … ”

“
Ty,
no,” I say. I don't want him to talk about that stuff, not
right now. Even the thought of Ty in another person's arms, in their
body, makes me sick to my stomach. He reaches out and gently places
a finger over my lips.

“
No,
I'm going to say this,” he tells me as I struggle to prop
myself up on my elbows. “Fuck, Never, I have to say this
before I forget how lucky I am and start to hesitate. Okay, so, you
know, when it comes to relationships and friendships and all that
other crap.” I smile at Ty because his diplomatic speeches are
always full of dirty words. Always. It's part of what makes Ty, Ty.
“People like to judge them on how long they've known each
other, and I just … Never, I think a real friend is someone
who sees you at your worst but likes you anyway, who's there for you
even if they'd rather not be.” He pauses. “You're that
friend for me,” he tells me, eyes on the grass next to my hips
and not on my face. Whatever it is that he wants to say, he's still
gearing up for it, getting ready to blow my ship out of the water, my
rocket out of orbit, my heart from my chest. “And …
you're more than that. You're … ” Ty pauses again and
pulls a ring off of his finger. It's the blue one this time, the one
that sparkles like the sea. “Never,” he says, and then
he levels his gaze on me, connecting to my inner being with just a
blink of his eyes, diving in, swirling around inside of me, consuming
me in the only way I want to be consumed. “Will you marry me?”
Ty slips off the ring and holds it in his palm like a shining symbol
of the words he's just spoken.

Holy
shit.

Holy
shit.

Holy
fucking shit.

I
struggle out from under Ty and stumble to my feet using my father's
headstone for support. Ty follows after me and grabs me before I can
go running, pulling me against him, his hands firmly planted on my
hips, the ring digging into the flesh of my side. But then, he
didn't even need to. See, I'm not into running, not anymore, I'm
into guys like Ty McCabe. And guys like Ty McCabe, I guess they're
into me, too.

“
Are
you serious?” I ask him because it's all I think to say. He
nods and nibbles at his lip ring like he just can't keep still. His
face is frozen, awaiting judgment. This boy, this
man,
that I picked up in a bar with no intention of ever getting to know
has now just asked me one of the world's most perplexing questions.
Now, I'm not a girl who's obsessed with weddings, who dreams about
white dresses and tiered cakes, but I am a girl who dreams. I dream
of a partner that I can split my pain with, one that understands me,
that completes me, makes me whole, and now I've found him. And it's
him, not me, but him, who wants to make it official, declare our love
on paper, celebrate it. Ty McCabe wants me not just for now, but
forever. I swallow and try to still my aching heart. It's been
working so hard lately, beating for so many people, learning so many
things. It's hard to keep up with it all.

I
wondered once if Noah Scott could've been my knight in shining armor,
but I see now that I was wrong. To be a knight, you have to save
someone from something. Noah Scott couldn't have saved me from
anything because there would've been nothing to be saved from. I
made hard choices, wrong choices, bad choices, call them what you
will, but they made Never Ross and I'm starting to see that she isn't
such a bad person, that maybe she's more interesting than I thought.
I see now that my knight is Ty McCabe, that he came in and helped
save me from myself, and now, now I'm going to save him.

I
lean over and kiss Ty on his perfect lips, feel his warm hands on my
hips and decide that I won't tell him about the baby, not yet.
First, I'll save Ty McCabe and then I'll tell him. I see his eyes
are wide, and there's a bit of sweat on his forehead. I smile and
realize that I've forgotten to answer the one question that I never
thought I'd hear, especially not from Tyson McCabe, my bad boy, my
tortured soul, my little piece of dark with bits of light that
glimmer like stars.

“
Yes,”
I tell him. “Yes, I will.”

If you enjoyed this book, look for
the third book In the Never say Never Trilogy!

Books by C.M. Stunich

The Seven Wicked Series

Houses Novels


• The House of Gray and Graves
  
• The House of Hands and Hearts
  and Hair
  
• The House of Sticks and Bones
  

The Huntswomen Trilogy


• The Feed
  
• The Hunt
  
• The Throne
  

Indigo Lewis Novels


• Indigo & Iris
  
• Indigo & The Colonel
  
• Indigo & Lynx
  

Never say Never Trilogy


• Tasting Never
  
• Finding Never
  
• Keeping Never
  

Stand Alone Novels


• She Lies Twisted
  
• Hell Inc.
  
• DeadBorn
  
• Broken Pasts
  
• Fuck Valentine's Day
  

About
the Author

C.M.
Stunich was raised under a cover of fog in the area known simply as
Eureka, CA. A mysterious place, this strange, arboreal land nursed
Caitlin's (yes, that's her name!) desire to write strange fiction
novels about wicked monsters, magical trains, and Nemean Lions
(Google it!). She currently enjoys drag queens, having too many cats,
and tribal bellydance.

She can be
reached at [email protected], and loves to hear from her readers.
Ms. Stunich also wrote this biography and has no idea why she decided
to refer to herself in the third person.