Finding Parker (23 page)

“No need to apologize, dear. Stand up, you’re making a fool of yourself, and if you barf on me, I’ll going to be mad,” I shook my head and reached for my glass of wine.

Parker cleared his throat, “Victoria.”

Kenton stopped pacing the room and covered his mouth with his hands. I looked up at Parker, who was visibly shaking. His face was now covered in beads of sweat. I looked up at Kenton, who was audibly crying. He knew something I didn’t.

This son-of-a-bitch is going to break up with me.

I fucking knew it.

I pressed my hands into the edge of the table and pushed my chair away enough to stand. As I stood, Parker stood along with me.

“If you’ve got something to say, say it Parker.
Say it
,” I demanded in a stern tone.

Parker tilted his head toward Kenton and then faced me again, “I…uhhm,” he stammered

“For the love of God, Parker. Just do what you have to do. Get it over with,” I shouted as I fought back tears.

Kenton’s crying was becoming louder. I considered storming from the room, and quickly realized Parker was my ride home.
Great, this is going to be awkward as hell
. As my lip began to quiver, I bit into it, attempting to make it stop. Parker nervously reached into his jacket pocket, but didn’t pull his hand out.

What the fuck is going on?

“Victoria, I’m sorry. I wanted to do this differently. It isn’t working. So I’m just going to say it,” he paused.

I fucking knew it.

“Victoria Lillian Fisker, I want to spend the rest of my life living,” he pulled his hand from his blazer and held it curled up at his side.

Living what? Single?

You little prick.

He raised his hand in front of my chest and turned his fingers upward, “As your husband. Will you marry me?”

Holy. Shit.

“Oh my fucking God, Parker. Yes. Yes. Yes!” I screamed and dove into him, knocking him to the floor.

As we embraced into a long passionate kiss on the floor, Parker held his arm out to his side, still holding what I was assuming was the engagement ring. I had yet to actually
see
it, but I didn’t care. I heard the words, and that’s all that mattered. He could produce an aluminum foil ring, and I’d happily be his wife forever.

“Karen, hold the meal,” Kenton sobbed loudly.

The tone of his voice raised into what became a broken shout, “Bring…champagne.”

As our lips parted, I arched my back to look into the face of the one man I truly ever loved. As I did, he moved his hand between us and held the ring in front of me. Immediately, a lump developed in my throat, and I felt as if I were going to be sick. I attempted to swallow twice. My throat felt as if it were filled with sand.

“Place it on her finger, son.” Kenton coughed.

I spread the fingers of my shaking hand and watched as Parker slid a ring onto my finger that every woman on this earth would soon envy almost as much as they envied my fiancé.

I looked down at the ring, “Its…”

“It’s…perfect.”

“Well…get up…off the…floor,” Kenton said between sobs.

We both stood from the floor at the same time, covered with smiles from ear to ear. There is probably not much on this earth that can be said to truly drive a girl to a point of immediately going numb. The type of numb she’ll feel once in a lifetime, and never feel again. I now know, having been through what I just went through, what has the ability to make every nerve in your body go useless.

Four simple words.

Will. You. Marry. Me.

“Let me see it,” Kenton said as he stretched his arm over the table.

I held my hand over the table proudly and raised it to meet Kenton’s. Downes stepped into the light of the chandelier and shaded his eyes as if he were being blinded. As Kenton’s hand met mine and raised it slightly, I felt as if he were my father, approving my engagement to my lover.

“I’m so happy for both of you. For us all, actually,” he said as he wiped tears from his face with is free hand.

“I’d also have to say, Victoria, that has to be a first,” he chuckled.

“What’s that?” I asked, still feeling like I was in shock.

“Oh my
fucking
God, Parker. Yes. Yes. Yes,” Kenton whispered.

“I did
not,
” I gasped.

Kenton nodded.

I looked up at Downes.

He nodded.

And at Parker.

He nodded.

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry,” I pushed my lower lip out for sympathy.

“I wouldn’t have expected anything less,” Parker laughed as he wiped the sweat from his brow.

“Nor would I,” Kenton sighed.

“Nor I,” Downes agreed.

As we all sat down, Karen carried in a tray with champagne glasses and a bottle of champagne, “Here you are, Mr. Ward.”

Kenton quietly nodded his head toward the table.

“Thank you, Karen,” Kenton said as she placed the tray onto the edge of the table.

Kenton began to pour champagne into one of the glasses, “So have you given any thought to
when
?”

I turned to face Parker, who shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t see much value in waiting or having a long engagement, do you?”

I shook my head excitedly.

“Well, if I may,” Kenton said as he handed a glass of champagne to Parker and me.

As soon as we accepted the glasses, he continued, “I’m of the opinion most have a lengthy engagement because they’re partially not certain, and or to assemble the family for the wedding. This, for the most part
is
the family,” he motioned around the room.

And he was right. This
was
our family, our only family.

“As soon as possible, if I have much of a say. I’m quite ready to begin living together,” Parker sighed.

I thought of my sleepless nights at home alone, and the difficulty I have had being away from Parker since my mother’s death. I didn’t want Parker to feel rushed, or as if I was incapable of waiting.

But considering what he said…

“I’d wait just short of forever, Parker. You
know
that. I’m comfortable with what we have, or I’d be happy to marry you tomorrow. I really would. But you’re right, there’s no value in waiting. I’m ready,” I smiled.

Parker looked up toward Kenton and smiled as he lifted his glass of champagne, “Soon,” he grinned a she nodded his head.

Kenton nodded his head and raised his glass, “Here’s to
soon
.”

And we all raised our glasses and toasted.

To being married.

Soon.

VICTORIA.
For as long as I have lived, I would say I’ve only had two wishes. More like dreams, I suppose.

As a toddler and a young girl, I often wished I had a father. My mother’s constant complaints of his death and her love for him continued to remind me how much she missed having him in her life as well. As I grew older, I began to understand the differences between all of the other girls in school and myself. They had families, and I did not. They sat at home at night at a dinner table and ate with their brothers, sisters, and both of their parents.  I sat at home and ate Ravioli’s from a can as my mother sat in her chair and watched television in what I assumed was terrible pain.

Life as a little girl in my home was far different than most other girls I knew. I never felt that a father was a fix, but I felt it would be a good start. Not only could he take care of my mother, but he could also take care of me, I was sure of it. He could cook me meals, and tell me stories, and hold me when I was scared. When there were things in school I did not understand, and there were plenty, he could softly explain in a manner I could understand. He would always love me, and never let me go.

He would drop me off at school and pick me up when it was over so I didn’t have to walk alone. When the other children’s parents came to school for their conferences, he would come. And teachers would not stand in the hallways and talk about him in a tone that I was perfectly capable of hearing.

But a father never came.

As I grew older, and hormones began to run rampant inside of my pre-teen body, I yearned for a boyfriend. One who would hold me, love me, care for me, and never leave me. When I turned thirteen, my wish was granted. Josh Wilson asked me to be his girlfriend. Although it was through a note passed in class, I took it for being the gospel. We went steady for about a month, all of which was a one-sided relationship from an emotional standpoint. He played sports, ran around with his male friends, and never cared to spend time with me outside of school.

At my insistence, he agreed to spend an evening with me at my home. My mother agreed, and I was sure this was going to take our
relationship
to the next level. How wrong could I have been? Half an hour into the night, he demanded I have sex with him, and when I said no, he called me a slut and stomped out. Later, while back in school, there were times I wished I would have had sex with him. He did what I believed to be unthinkable – he told the other boys he
did
have sex with me. It wasn’t long and all of the boys were begging me for sex and calling me a slut when I said no.

And I slowly began to lose trust in all men.

What began as my second wish turned to more of a dream – to one day become married to a man who would accept me for who I was and what I believed. I knew regardless of whom it was I may ever meet, sex was going to wait until we were married. That, to me, was an absolute.

I wished and dreamed throughout high school, and every boy, upon finding out I was a virgin, decided they were not interested. I stopped with the daily dreaming, and came to understand marriage may
never
happen for me. By the time I was twenty-one years old, and had not yet had a boyfriend, I completely gave up on being married; and on men in general. My attitude quickly changed, and for the most part, I became anti-social. My lack of interest in meeting men turned into a lack of interest in meeting people.

And life, to me, became quite simple.

Two wishes and two impossibilities.

And low and behold, I was introduced to Parker Bale and Kenton Ward. Now, as a girl of twenty-three, I have one of my wishes granted. I am soon to be married, and I have a man who I
view
as a fatherly figure. He may not be my father, but he’s as good as I could ever hope for.

And far better than most biological fathers, I’m sure.

I just needed one thing from him, if possible.

As I nervously approached the gate, a voice came from the landscaping along the fence.

“Good afternoon, Miss,” the voice hesitated.

“Good afternoon, Victoria. Mr. Ward is expecting you.”

“Downes?” I asked.

“Yours truly. Come in and park by the fountain.”

As the gate opened, I depressed the clutch and revved the engine. Although I never wanted Parker to see my car, I had no problem with Kenton seeing it. I just needed to make this a quick visit. Parker had gone to get fitted for a tuxedo, and he would be done in about an hour. I released the clutch, mashed the gas, and lurched forward along the driveway that led to the Ward Mansion. As I came to a stop at the fountain, the engine died.

Perfect timing.

As I stepped from the car, Downes walked out onto the porch, “Good afternoon dear. I hope all is well.”

“Very well, thank you,” I said as I slammed the door to the car.

“Vintage Toyota, they’re bulletproof,” Downes nodded his head and smiled.

“Oh stop it. Good God, Downes, it’s a piece of shit,” I laughed as I walked toward the steps.

“Kenton’s sitting out on the deck. Follow me,” Downes said as I reached the top step.

I followed Downes through the house and out onto the deck. As I stepped through the French doors, Kenton stood from his seat, smiled, and opened his arms, “This engagement isn’t going to last forever, and surely you’re going to go the distance, aren’t you?”

I laughed as we embraced, “Yes, I’m going the distance, it’s not that.”

“Money? Do you need money?” he whispered as he hugged me.

“No, it’s not that. I really just wanted to talk,” I said as I released my grip and stepped back.

“Okay. I’m all ears, dear,” he said as he sat down and picked up the pitcher of tea.

“Peach?” I asked.

“I’ve completely forbidden that damned raspberry, yes it’s peach,” he smiled.

I nodded my head.

As he poured a glass of tea, I considered how to begin what it is I wanted to say. This wasn’t going to be easy, and I hated the thought of rejection, but if I didn’t ask, I certainly would never happen. If I did ask, it just might. For a once in a lifetime event like my marriage, I had to at least ask.