Finding Perfect (18 page)

“Technically they don't qualify as family, but emotionally, these are the in-laws. Don't you think that's going to make her nervous?”

He hadn't thought of it that way. “There's nothing for her to worry about. They'll like her.”

Dakota's expression turned pitying. “You've been married before. Do you really think that's what she's sitting around thinking?”

His face fell. “Oh. Right. I should probably go talk to her, huh?”

Dakota patted his arm. “Don't take it personally. You can't help it, just being a man and all.”

 

P
IA TOLD HERSELF THAT
pacing counted as exercise and exercise was healthy. It's not as if her body knew she
was wearing a path in Raoul's carpet rather than striding through the park or doing time on a treadmill. Life was about reframing, she told herself.

“Would you relax?” Raoul walked into the living room and crossed to her. After putting his hands on her shoulders, he leaned in and kissed her. “They're going to love you.”

“Do you have proof? Because proof would be nice.”

“They'll love you,” he repeated.

“Saying something over and over again doesn't make it happen. No matter how many times I tell you I'm a giraffe, you're not going to believe me.”

He eyed her. “Have you had coffee today?”

“No. This isn't me hyped on caffeine. I'm doing this all myself.”

“You should try breathing.”

As if that would help. “What if I don't want to meet them?” she asked. “I'm sure they're very nice people, but this all seems so unnecessary. I'll be taking up your visiting time. Why don't you meet them by yourself and tell me about it. You can take pictures. It'll be like I was there.”

“I'd rather you
were
there.”

“Think of the babies. All this stress can't be good for them. I think I need to throw up.”

“Relax,” he said softly, right before he kissed her.

It was a good kiss, too, damn him. One that lingered and made her feel all melty inside.

“That's cheating,” she said when he straightened.

“I prefer to think of it as getting the job done.”

“It's still cheating.”

He stared into her eyes. “I'm going to marry you,
Pia. Hawk and Nicole are my family, so they'll be part of your life, as well. Why put off the inevitable?”

“Because putting it off makes me feel better.” She heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Her stomach twisted. “I think they're here.”

He took her hand and led her to the front door, then stepped outside.

A large four-door BMW pulled up. Pia wasn't sure there was a name or number, mostly because she couldn't tell one fancy car from the other. Okay, it was green, but that was the best she could do.

As she thought seriously about throwing up, she watched a tall, good-looking man step out. Based on what she knew about Hawk, he had to be in his late forties, but he looked a lot younger. Then his wife got out of the car. She was a beautiful, elegant blonde. Despite the jeans and button-down shirt, she looked sophisticated—like the kind of woman who always knew what to say.

Pia held in a whimper.

“You made it,” Raoul said as he stepped off the porch. He walked to Hawk and the two men hugged. Nicole joined them. Raoul kissed her cheek. She held on to him for several seconds before letting go and stepping back.

“Small-town life agrees with you,” she said. “You look good.”

“Always,” Raoul said with a laugh. “Come meet Pia.”

She'd agonized about what to wear, wanting to make a good impression without trying too hard. There was also the pregnancy to consider. Despite having puffy and bloated moments, she wasn't really showing. In the end, she'd settled on a tunic-length forest green top over
black jeans. As a tour of the town was on the agenda, she'd put on flats.

“Hello,” she said, holding out her hand first to Hawk. “Nice to meet you.”

“Didn't you warn her?” Hawk asked as he ignored the outstretched hand. Instead he grabbed her around her waist and pulled her into a bear hug. “Welcome to the family, Pia.” He swung her around a full 360 degrees before setting her on the ground.

“Thanks,” she managed while doing her best to regain her footing.

“You'll scare the poor girl,” Nicole said, stepping close and hugging Pia more gently. “He's just a big lug of a man. You'll have to forgive him.”

“Of course,” Pia said, feeling a little disoriented. She'd been worried about Raoul's family judging her and being standoffish. Apparently that wasn't going to be a problem.

Nicole linked arms with her and they walked inside. “I understand you and Raoul are looking for a house. That's so fun. Hawk and I have been in our place forever now. And as much as I love my children, I am, I confess, delighted to be away from them for a few days.”

“Raoul said you drove down from Seattle.”

“Yes, we're going to Los Angeles.”

“Road trip,” Hawk said, coming in with Raoul. “One of my former students is playing for USC. We're going to catch a game, then drive home.”

“I said let's fly,” Nicole told Pia, her tone weary but her eyes bright with amusement. “We could have stopped in Sacramento and rented a car to come here. But no…”

She released Pia's arm. Hawk came up behind Nicole
and slipped his arms around her waist. “Are you saying you haven't enjoyed being in a hotel room with me for the past two nights?”

“Hawk! The children.”

Pia wanted to point out that she was twenty-eight and that Raoul was a few years older than her, but she didn't. In a way it was kind of nice to have someone a little older than her worrying about her. It had been a lot of years since that had happened.

Hawk kissed his wife. “Nicole, I hate to break it to you, but they've already had sex. They know what it is.”

Pia hoped she wasn't blushing.

Raoul caught her eye and grinned. “See what I have to deal with?” Everyone laughed.

They settled on the sofa and chairs in the living room and talked. Nicole brought Raoul up to date on what her kids were doing. Hawk and Raoul talked football. Pia mostly listened. After about half an hour, Raoul stood.

“Let's do a tour of town. Then we can have lunch.”

“Want us to drive?” Hawk asked.

Raoul shook his head. “We'll walk. There's not that much to see.”

As they walked down the sidewalk, Pia noticed that Nicole kept pace with her while Hawk and Raoul seemed to be getting ahead of them. She recognized the separation of the sexes for what it was.

“Why don't you two meet us at the restaurant in an hour,” Nicole called. “Go talk about sports. I get enough of that at home.” The older woman smiled. “We can entertain ourselves until then.”

Pia forced a smile and told herself that Nicole seemed really nice. Everything was going to be fine.

They strolled down by the park, toward the lake. Pia pointed out Morgan's Books, the store with the fabulous fudge and the entrance to her office. She noticed there were a lot more men out and about than usual, but she didn't want to bring that up. Telling Nicole about Fool's Gold's sudden influx of men would probably scare her.

They chatted about the weather, reality TV and how it would be a good thing if cropped pants never came back in style.

Nicole pointed to the Starbucks. “Come on. I'd kill for a latte.”

When they had their drinks—a mocha for Nicole and an herbal tea for Pia—they settled at a table by the window. Pia did her best not to acknowledge the men watching them.

“Raoul mentioned you're in charge of the festivals in town,” Nicole said. “Thanks for taking time off work to meet us.”

“I wanted to,” Pia said, telling herself that now that she'd met Nicole, it wasn't exactly a lie. “You're his family.”

“He's been important to us for a long time.” She glanced out the window and sighed. “I love it here. What a great place to grow up.”

“We do have less rain than Seattle.”

“I think the Amazon jungle has less rain than Seattle,” Nicole joked. “I was worried about Raoul after his divorce. He couldn't figure out what to do with himself. I thought he'd come back home, but this is better. He needs to make his own way. Hawk was lucky. When he
left the NFL, he knew he wanted to coach high school football. Not everyone is so clear.”

“You know about the camp Raoul bought?” Pia asked.

“Uh-huh. It sounds great. And now there's a school up there?”

Pia explained about the fire. “It's probably going to take a couple of years for the regular school to be repaired. They're hoping to get the money quickly and get started, but who knows. Without the camp, the kids would have been shoved into already crowded schools.”

“Raoul is hero material,” Nicole said with a smile. “He gets that from Hawk.”

From what she'd heard, the couple had been together for a long time, yet they were still obviously in love. Pia felt a twinge of envy. Loving someone that long, being loved…it had to feel very safe and yet exciting at the same time. For a second she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to experience that herself. To have love grow stronger every year.

Longing filled her, a physical ache that made it difficult to breathe. She wasn't going to get that with Raoul. Theirs was a practical arrangement. Perhaps, with time, they would grow to love each other, but it wouldn't be the same, she thought sadly. The history of a courtship would never be there. The “falling in love” that made everything seem right in the world.

Nicole leaned over and touched Pia's left hand. “Beautiful ring.”

“Thank you.” She pressed her lips together, telling herself
not
to say she hadn't been expecting a ring at all—let alone one this amazing.

“We're happy Raoul's found someone.”

The statement made Pia nervous. She couldn't tell if Nicole knew why they were getting married. Though she was willing to stay quiet on the whys of the engagement, she wasn't willing to lie about the pregnancy.

“Did Raoul tell you I was pregnant?” Pia asked.

Nicole raised her eyebrows, then laughed. “No, he didn't. How wonderful. Raoul's finally having a child. Excellent.”

She felt as if she'd just stepped into something sticky. “Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.”

Nicole laughed. “Much like pregnancy itself, there's no do-over. Sorry. Besides, I'm really happy. For what it's worth, I was pregnant when Hawk and I got married.”

“Yes, but it was probably his baby.”

To give her credit, Nicole barely blinked. She picked up her mocha, took a sip and said, “Why don't you start from the beginning?”

P
IA EXPLAINED ABOUT
Crystal and Keith and the embryos. “I'm still not sure why she left them to me, but she did and they're implanted and I'm pregnant.”

“Triplets,” Nicole said. “I'm a twin and I had twins, so I know what that's like. You're going to have three. That's a lot of diapers.”

“I try not to think about it,” Pia admitted. Or feedings, or getting them all to sleep at the same time. In fact, she was pretty much in denial.

“What did Raoul say when you told him what you wanted to do?” Nicole asked.

She was assuming they'd been dating, Pia thought. That the embryos had added an extra dimension to an already ongoing relationship.

“He offered to be my pregnancy buddy,” she said, determined to stick to the truth as much as possible.

“That sounds like him.” Nicole studied her. “You could have walked away from them.”

“No,” Pia said firmly. “I would never abandon them.” She knew what that felt like.

“What about giving them to someone else?”

Pia shook her head. “Crystal left them to me. I may never know why, but I'll do the best I can with her children. She was my friend.”

Nicole reached out and squeezed her hand. “You're nothing like Caro, are you?”

“I don't know much about her. What was she like?”

Nicole released her hand and leaned back in her chair. “Beautiful. Smart. She's a news anchor.”

Pia already hated her. “Great.”

Nicole laughed. “Please don't tell Raoul, but that was my reaction when I met her. She says all the right things, but I always had the feeling she would rather have been anywhere but with us. I want to say I'm sorry about their divorce, but honestly I was relieved. I'm so glad he found you.”

“Me, too,” Pia said. Maybe theirs wasn't the fantasy love every little girl dreamed of, but it was stable and solid and for her, that was going to be enough.

 

R
AOUL AND
H
AWK
made their way to Jo's Bar.

“Brace yourself,” Raoul said as he pulled open the door. “It's not what you think.”

Hawk stepped inside, then came to a stop as he stared at the big-screen TVs. Three were on the network soaps and the fourth was on a home shopping channel.

“What the hell?”

“Don't ask,” Raoul told him, then glanced toward the bar. “Jo, could you send over two beers?”

“Sure. Going into your man cave?”

“As fast as we can.” He pointed to the doorway off to the side. “Through there. You'll feel better.”

The smaller room had a couple of pool tables, a couple of TVs tuned to sports and was a masculine dark blue color. A relief from the pink and lime green Jo had recently painted the main room. For once it was
relatively crowded with men, most of whom Raoul didn't recognize.

Jo delivered the beers and left them with a bowl of pretzels.

“Interesting place,” Hawk said, then took a sip of his beer. “You like it here.”

Raoul nodded.

“Are you happy?” his former coach asked.

“Not a real masculine question,” Raoul joked.

“I've been married nearly all my adult life,” Hawk told him. “I can barely hang on to any masculinity. Just don't tell anyone I talk about my feelings.”

“I won't say a word.” Raoul rested his forearms on the table and looked at his mentor. “I'm happy. I didn't know what to expect when I moved here, but it's turning out even better than I thought.”

“You have the camp.”

Raoul explained how it was being used as a school. “It'll be a while until they're able to move back into their old building. We'll still have camp in the summer, when the local kids are out of school, but we've had to put our winter plans on hold.”

“You okay with that?”

“I would have liked to get started with the math and science programs sooner rather than later, but they needed a place to have school. I'm not going to put three hundred kids out on the street because I have an ego problem.”

Hawk slapped him on the shoulder. “I like hearing that. It means I did a good job raising you.”

“It couldn't be my sterling character?”

“Not likely.”

They laughed and clinked bottles.

“Pia seems nice,” Hawk said.

“She is. She was born and raised here. I told you she runs all the festivals in town. It's a lot of coordinating, working with different people. When the school needed an emergency fundraiser and supply drive, she got it done in a couple of days.” He glanced at his friend. “She's pregnant.”

Hawk raised his eyebrows. “You okay with that?”

“Yeah. I'm happy.” He hesitated. “The babies aren't mine.”

Hawk picked up his beer bottle but didn't drink. “Okay,” he said slowly. “Tell me about it.”

Raoul explained about Crystal and the embryos.

“That's a lot to take on,” Hawk said when he'd finished. “Responsibility, time, money. They're not going to be yours.”

Raoul didn't fall for it. “They'll be mine. I'll be there when they're born and see them through their whole lives. How could they not be mine?”

Hawk didn't look convinced. “You doing this because of Caro? Are you secretly figuring it won't be as big a problem because they're not your biological children? You're wrong—they'll be yours in every sense of the word. You won't be able to hold back with them.”

“I don't want to hold back.”

“You sure about that?”

It was a question Raoul had wrestled with since finding out about Pia's plans for the embryos. He'd meant it when he'd promised to be there for her, to be a real father to those children.

“I want to be their father. I want to be involved with them, the way you were there for me. You might have come into my life when I was in high school, but that
doesn't mean you didn't shape everything about me. I can do this. I want to do this.”

Hawk took a long drink of his beer. “Kids aren't easy under the best of circumstances. Triplets. That's a load and a half.”

Raoul grinned. “It's probably three loads.”

“Smart-ass.” Hawk shook his head. “You sure about this? Once you commit, there's no turning back.”

“I'm sure.” It was what he wanted.

“Make sure you get married for the right reasons.”

Raoul could do the translation. Hawk wanted him to be sure he was marrying Pia because he loved her and couldn't live without her. Not because it was the right thing to do.

It was the only secret he would keep from his friend. The truth was, not loving Pia was part of the appeal. He'd been in love once, had married Caro and had paid the price. Never again, he'd promised himself, and he meant it.

“Pia's the one,” he said, sidestepping the issue.

“Then I'm happy for you.”

Raoul couldn't tell if Hawk believed him or was simply going along with things. In the end, he supposed it didn't matter. Whatever the outcome, Hawk would be there for him, just like he would be there for the babies Pia carried.

 

P
IA LOOKED UP FROM HER
desk to find Charity Jones-Golden standing in the doorway.

“You're busy,” her friend said.

“I have the auction tonight, followed by the dinner-dance in a week. Busy doesn't cover it. Hysterical is closer. In fact, I think hysterical is pretty accurate.”

“So you probably don't have time to go shopping.”

Pia perked up. “I certainly do. In fact a little retail therapy is exactly what I need. On the way back, I'll grab a sandwich to eat at my desk and call it lunch.”

Charity smiled. “Really? You'd do that for me?”

“Mostly I'm doing it for myself, but you can pretend it's about you if it makes you feel better.” Pia saved her computer program, then closed it, grabbed her purse and stood. “What are we shopping for? Jewelry? Furniture? A vacation in the south of France?”

“Maternity clothes.”

Pia plopped down on her seat, her gaze settling on her friend's growing tummy. “Tell me you're kidding.”

“I need to buy some things, and you're way better at the stylish thing than I am. I want to look good as I approach my whale days. Or as good as I can. ‘Help me, Obi Wan. You're my only hope.'”

“Oh, please. Don't try
Star Wars
on me. I'm too young to remember anything but the remastered versions, and so are you.”

Charity continued to stare at her, all wide-eyed and pleading.

“Fine,” Pia grumbled, standing again. “I'll help you buy your stupid maternity clothes.”

“The point of bringing you along is so they're not stupid. Besides, you might want to get a few things for yourself. It took me a while to pop out of my regular clothes, but I'm not carrying triplets.”

“Thanks for mentioning that.”

“Anytime.”

Pia followed her into the hallway, then locked the door. As they made their way down the stairs, she had to admit that Charity was right…sort of. Lately it had
seemed her pants were getting snug, and she would swear her breasts had gone up a full cup size. She was starting to spill out of her bras. In the few weeks between now and looking like a woman who had swallowed a beach ball, she could probably make some great money posing for breast-enhancement ads.

“How are you feeling?” Charity asked. “Any morning sickness?”

“I'm fine as long as I stick to crackers for the first hour. Then I can pretty much eat what I want. Of course, based on the list of things I should be eating, all those fruits and vegetables, the protein and dairy, there's not much room left for empty calories.” She sighed. “I miss empty calories.”

“Me, too. And coffee. I would kill for a glass of wine.” She glanced at Pia. “Do you think it's wrong to bring a saucy little Merlot into the recovery room?”

“I think they'd frown on it. Plus, won't you be breastfeeding?”

They reached the street and turned left. There was an exclusive maternity boutique right next to Jenel's Gems.

“Breastfeeding is in the plan,” Charity admitted. “Are you?”

“I haven't gotten that far,” Pia admitted. “I'm one breast short, to begin with, so I'm not sure how it would work. I'm not really doing a lot of reading yet. I have time.”

“Of course you do. It's nice that you're not totally obsessed with your pregnancy. The first two months, I couldn't stop reading about it, or talking about it. I became one of those horrible, self-absorbed friends who only cared about herself.”

“I remember,” Pia said, her voice teasing.

Charity gave her a mock glare. “A true friend wouldn't mention my slip in judgment.”

“A true friend would have given you a good slap if it had continued much longer.”

Charity laughed.

Pia joined in but was pleased when the conversation changed topic. In truth, the reason she hadn't started doing a lot of reading about her pregnancy had nothing to do with being calm and everything to do with the fact that she still didn't feel connected to the babies growing inside of her. They were an intellectual exercise, not an emotional bond. She knew she was pregnant, but those were just words.

In time things would get better, she told herself. From finding out about the embryos to implantation had only been a matter of a few weeks. It made sense that she would need time to catch up emotionally. At least that was the plan.

“Josh keeps saying we have to register.” Charity grimaced. “I've gone online where they have those lists of what is ‘essential,' and it's enough to freak me out. They talk about things I've never heard of. And some other stuff that's really weird. Do you know there's a device that keeps baby wipes warm? You drop in a container of wipes and it keeps them toasty. The reviews say not to get it because then the kids scream when you're away from home and have to use a cold baby wipe.”

Pia felt the first hint of fear. “I have to make a decision about baby wipes? Can't I just buy what's on sale?”

“Sure, but then do you heat them? It's incredible. I swear, if you took along everything that they said, you
wouldn't need a baby bag so much as a camel. And you'll have three times that amount.”

Pia felt a little light-headed. “We should talk about something else,” she murmured.

“And the diapers. Do you know how many diapers babies go through in an average week?”

“No,” she whispered.

“Eighty to a hundred.”

Charity kept talking, but Pia was too busy doing the math. With triplets, she could be looking at two hundred and forty to three hundred diapers in a week. If she used disposable ones, wouldn't she be personally responsible for any overflow in the Fool's Gold landfill?

Three hundred diapers? How many were in a box? Could she fit that many in her car? Was Raoul going to have to buy a semi to bring in supplies?

“That's pretty.” Charity had stopped in front of the window of the maternity store. A pregnant mannequin wore a sophisticated burgundy pantsuit, with a fly-away-style jacket. The fabric was a high-quality knit that skimmed the body and held its shape but would probably wash like a dream.

“The color would be great for you,” Pia said. “With your light hair.”

“I wonder if the set comes with a skirt. Or I could get a black skirt and a patterned top. That would give me a lot of work outfits.” She glanced at Pia. “Or am I being too matchy-matchy?”

“You're doing just fine. Let's go in and see what they have.”

The store was larger than it looked from the outside. There was plenty of light, lots of mirrors and racks of clothes set up by type. In the back, an archway led into
a massive separate store that sold everything baby. Pia caught sight of a stroller and crib before carefully averting her eyes. She was here to shop for her friend, not freak herself out. Later, when she could sit down, she would think about all the equipment babies apparently required and try not to hyperventilate. And maybe she would take Denise Hendrix up on her offer to explain what exactly the mother of a triplet needed three of and what she could avoid buying in bulk.