Finding Promise (7 page)

Jake grabbed a lantern and took hold of her elbow as he led her from the fire. Rodriguez wasn't the only man with manners, he told himself. He just had to work a bit harder at dusting his off now and then. He'd noticed her perfect deportment as she interacted with the men. She gave her full attention to each man she spoke with, listening intently to what he was saying, as if she didn't have enough problems of her own. He had to admit, that was difficult for him at times, with the way some of the men droned on and on. He had never met what he thought was the quintessential Southern belle, but it seemed to him that the title suited Promise perfectly.

“How did you enjoy the first day of your cattle drive?” Jake hoped he sounded as though he engaged in polite conversation with ladies every day. That wasn't easy; for weeks on end he'd been around men who were rough as cobs.

“It was quite informative, and Shorty is very entertaining.” Promise looked up at the large man beside her. His face was shadowed by the brim of his hat, and his eyes were so dark she couldn't really see them.

Reaching the wagon, Jake tossed back the canvas flap and put the lantern on the floor before he helped her inside. “Do you have everything you need?”

“Yes, thank you.” Her gaze swept the surrounding dark terrain, unable to stop thinking of the possibility danger was lurking in every shadow. All day she couldn't stop questioning why someone would shoot her. It was a question with no answers; she didn't even know if she had enemies. It occurred to her that whoever shot her could come back and try again. Surrounded by darkness, her fears increased.

Sensing her anxiety, Jake wondered what was making her so nervous. She seemed fine during dinner. “Is there something on your mind?”

“Hmm . . . yes.” She looked up to see him staring intently at her with those midnight eyes. “I was wondering if . . . whoever shot me . . . well, do you think they might try again?”

“You haven't remembered anything about that, have you?”

“No, and that is what concerns me. Not knowing who or why, how am I to know if the person is near me?”

His gaze didn't leave her when he said, “You will be safe with us.”

She believed him, yet it did little to set her mind at ease. “Shorty said you slept in here when I was unconscious. Is this where you normally sleep?”

“No, I usually catch a few hours outside before I take another watch. I just wanted to be close if you came around, because sometimes I can sleep pretty soundly if I'm overly tired.” He correctly assumed she didn't want to be alone right now. “I can stay for a few minutes if you want.”

“Oh, that would be lovely,” she replied, obviously relieved.

He gracefully jumped in the wagon.

She gave him a tremulous smile. “Shall we sit?”

“Yes, ma'am. I can't stay bent over this way for long.”

He did look uncomfortable, doubled over to keep from hitting his head. She sat on her pallet and watched him remove his hat as he took a seat across from her. When he stretched out his long legs, she realized he took up a lot of space. “I don't mind if you sleep here.”

It was one thing to sleep inside with her when she was unconscious, but now that she was awake, he didn't think that would be such a good idea. He wondered if she would make the same offer if she wasn't afraid. He gave her another grin. “I have my reputation to consider.”

Embarrassed that she hadn't considered how inappropriate the offer sounded, she blushed at his response. “I didn't consider how that would appear.”

Seeing that she was flustered, he added in a teasing tone, “Not that I would mind spending the night with a beautiful woman.” Even in the dim lamplight, he could see her cheeks turning pink. He felt certain many men had told her she was beautiful, and even his own men couldn't take their eyes off of her, yet she didn't seem to realize the effect she had on them. “If it makes you rest easier, I will sleep right beside your wagon when I'm in camp. When I'm on watch, I'll have someone else take my place.”

Relief washed over her, knowing he would be close. Though she didn't know him, she trusted him without question. “It helps to know that. The only thing that seems familiar to me is your voice. Shorty said you talked to me when I was unconscious, so that is probably why I find it so familiar.”

When she looked at him with those large whiskey-colored eyes, he was tempted to forget she was a recent widow. “I didn't know if you could hear me. It seemed to me it might be a comfort to know you were safe.”

“Did the doctor say how long it might take for my memory to come back?”

He tried to think about how he would feel if he didn't know who he was. It had to be frustrating for her, but he had to be honest. “He wasn't sure.”

“I read some of my journal, and I wrote about someone named Matthew. He was obviously someone I traveled with. Do you know who he is?” At first, she thought Matthew might be her husband, but for some reason she was certain she was not married.

Now what was he going to say? Exactly as he feared, she'd asked the very question he didn't want to answer. “I'm not sure who he is,” he responded. He was hedging, but in all honesty, he wasn't positive Matthew was her husband. “I do think you were traveling with him.” Before she could ask him what happened to Matthew, he said, “Why don't you lie down and try to sleep.”

“I can't sleep in my dress. You don't have to stay. I'll be okay now that I know you will be near.”

Jake stood and retrieved his hat. “If you need anything, I'll be right outside.”

“Thank you, Mr. McBride. Good night.”

“Jake,” he reminded her. “Good night.”

When he approached the fire to retrieve his saddle, he noticed all the men looking his way. He started to ask them why they were staring until he realized they weren't really looking at him; they were looking past him to the wagon. He turned to see what held their attention. Promise was sitting at the back of the wagon and the flap was still open, so they could see her brushing her hair over one shoulder. It was such a simple task, but one that made every man stop and stare. Jake understood how they felt. It had been way too long since any of them had spent time with a woman. Suddenly, she stopped brushing her hair and dropped her face into her hands. It was obvious she was crying. It broke Jake's heart, and the heart of every man watching her. She was frightened, and who could blame her? He couldn't imagine being in her position, and at the mercy of strangers. All in all, she was handling things much better than he would. Finally he saw her lift her skirt to dry her eyes, and he turned to the men. The look on their faces said the scene had affected them much as it did him. “Okay, men, let's get moving.” He knew his tone sounded harsher than he intended. Not a word was spoken as the men went about their business.

“Why are you angry?” Cole asked.

Jake hadn't noticed him standing there. “She has a lot to deal with and she doesn't need an audience.” Jake bent over and picked up his saddle and bedroll. “She's going to be with us a long time, and I don't want the men hanging around her every minute.”

“They are not going to be able to avoid her.”

“I wonder how they would feel if they were on the receiving end of their stares?” Jake barked. He wasn't angry at the men, he was angry at her situation. And he wanted more than anything to go after those killers. That was what was truly troubling him.

Cole chuckled. “I'd say they'd like the attention if it was Promise doing the watching.”

Now there was the problem. He'd seen how the men watched her at dinner, Cole in particular. It was unusual for the men to hang around after they finished their dinner. If they weren't on watch, they were getting some much needed shut-eye. At this rate, every man on this drive would be in love with her before they reached Wyoming.

Chapter Eight

Jake didn't come back to camp when he was relieved; he stayed with the cattle and let some of the other men get some extra rest. It was almost three o'clock in the morning when he rode to camp. His plan was to rest for an hour or two, and true to his word, he was right below Promise's wagon using his saddle for a pillow. It wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep since it was still raining. He'd covered as much of his large frame as he could with his slicker, but water was still finding a way to his skin. Pelting rain wasn't his only problem. He could hear every move Promise made as she tossed and turned inside the wagon. It was evident she wasn't sleeping any better than he was. In a few short hours he'd be in the saddle again, so he'd just about given up on getting any rest.

When he heard the canvas flap open he almost groaned.
Does she need to do her business now?
But before he could ask, he heard her say, “Mr. McBride, is that you?”

“Yes, ma'am. Do you need something, sweetheart?”

“Would you mind if I came out there to sleep? I haven't been able to fall asleep the whole time you were gone.”

Jake scrambled to his feet and moved to the opening and looked at her. “It's pretty wet out here.”

She hated to be such a coward, and she was aware how much trouble she had caused him, but she was scared to be alone inside that wagon. Every little sound she heard nearly caused her heart to stop beating. She'd known the minute Jake had taken the place of the man stationed below her wagon. It surprised her that she could tell it was him by the sound of his spurs when he walked.

“Do you think you could go to sleep if I stay in there for a little while?” His better judgment told him it was a bad idea, but on the other hand he was sick and tired of being wet.

“I think so.” She silently thanked God for sending a man like Mr. McBride to protect her.

When Jake jumped inside the wagon he hadn't realized she was so close to the flap and he collided with her. She went flying backward, but thanks to his quick reflexes, he caught her by the shoulders before she fell. “Sorry, I didn't know you were so close.”

The light in the lantern had been dimmed, but he could see that she was covered from head to toe in the nightgown and robe he had seen in her trunk. It didn't matter that only her toes were visible; his mind immediately conjured up the flimsy underthings she wore. “Okay, I'll just be over here.” He pointed to the pallet that was not nearly far enough away since she looked so lovely and smelled so wonderful. “Now try to get some sleep.” Fat chance he would. His mind kept going back to the night he'd undressed her.

“Thank you, Mr. McBride,” she whispered. “I'm not sure why, I just can't relax when it's dark.”

“Call me Jake. I think it's understandable that you would be nervous.” He glanced at her pallet and saw the open journal. He figured that was the reason she wasn't able to sleep.

“I read some of the journal, and I have a million questions swirling in my mind.”

“That's understandable as well.” He didn't know if she wanted to talk about what she'd read, so he waited for her to say more.

When she finally spoke, she said, “I do apologize for keeping you awake. I imagine you are quite tired.”

“I'm fine, honey. You need to sleep. We have a long day ahead and you'll need some rest.”

 

 

Promise awoke feeling so warm and snuggly that she didn't want to open her eyes. She didn't want to remember her situation, she just wanted to stay right where she was, feeling safe and secure. When she finally opened her eyes, she gasped. No wonder she was so warm! She was snuggled on top of Jake, her head resting on his broad chest. It felt like she was lying on top of a stove. She placed her hand on his chest and tried to move away, but his arm was wrapped tightly around her. Slowly, she tried wiggling inch by inch underneath his arm and was making some headway when he opened his eyes and looked directly at her. She froze in place.

“Well, hello,” he said, in a deeply masculine morning voice. Jake wasn't sure if he was actually awake or having a great dream. If he was awake and on this side of the daisies with a beautiful woman snuggled up close, well, that was about as near perfect as life could get. If he was dreaming, he figured even that was better than nothing. He gently pulled her closer to his chest, securing her with both arms, pressing her tightly to him. She felt so good, soft and warm . . . but . . . who the devil was she? He couldn't remember where he was, or who she was, but did it really matter? It wasn't the first time he'd fallen asleep in some woman's room. He must be in some saloon . . . somewhere. Then he kissed her. Soundly. She tasted as good as she felt. What a way to wake up! He ran a hand over her back and wondered why she had on so many clothes. He intended to remedy that problem in short order. His lips moved to her neck in search of some skin, but tasted cloth instead. He had to be dreaming because he had his clothes on too.

Promise tried in vain to push away from him, and when his lips finally left hers and she regained her senses. “Mr. McBride!”

Immediately, the fog of sleep cleared and realization dawned at the sound of that Southern voice, answering his questions from one second earlier. He remembered
where
he was, and who
she
was. He wasn't dreaming!
Hell's bells!
He pushed her away like she had the plague, jumped to his feet, banging his head on the beam at the top of the wagon in the process. “Dang it!” he growled, rubbing his head. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean . . . well, I did mean to . . . but, I didn't know who you were.” He could tell by the look on her face that he was digging the hole deeper. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to collect his thoughts. He had a pounding headache, and probably a dent in his skull from hitting his head so hard. He just wanted to get out of that wagon pronto, and get on his horse. Opening one eye, he saw that it was already light outside, which meant he had overslept again. Which also meant the cattle weren't moving. Which also meant every man in camp knew where he'd spent the night. The last thing he remembered about last night was thinking how good she smelled in the close confines of that wagon. He looked down at her, feeling guiltier by the second. In an attempt to explain his behavior, he said, “I wasn't fully awake. I told you I'm a sound sleeper.” When that sounded inadequate even to his own ears, he added, “I'm sorry.” Then it occurred to him that he awoke in the same position he was in when he went to sleep . . .
on his pallet
. She was the one who had moved. He gave her a quizzical look. “Why were you on top of . . .” He decided he'd better put that another way. “Why were you . . . ah . . . lying here?”

Promise looked around the wagon. He had a point. She was the one who was no longer on her pallet; she was sharing his. Blushing to her toes, she whispered, “I must have gotten cold in the night.”

Jake's mind was spinning. Had she mistaken him for her husband in the night? He could see that would be a natural thing for a woman to do if she was cold. He couldn't think of anything he'd like more than a woman like her cozied up to him on a cold night, but the thought of her confusing him with her husband was a different story. She looked so embarrassed that he felt sorry for her. “It was just a mistake, let's not worry about it.” Grabbing his hat from the nail, he opened the flap and jumped out of the wagon, only to feel the continuous drizzling rain pelting him.
Perfect
. “You best get something to eat. We'll be leaving soon,” he instructed over his shoulder.

Left alone in the wagon, Promise touched her lips with shaking fingers. She didn't even know if she had ever been kissed by a man. As comfortable as he seemed performing the act, there was little doubt he'd done a lot of kissing. If she had been kissed before, she couldn't imagine it felt as good as Jake McBride's kiss. He was such a handsome man it seemed likely that he had a . . . Oh no! He could have a wife! Shorty hadn't mentioned whether Jake was married, and she hadn't asked. Until this very moment, that question had never occurred to her. If he was married, he'd probably assumed she was his wife when he kissed her. That thought brought her up short. To imagine him kissing another woman, even if it was his wife, caused her to have emotions she wasn't sure she'd ever felt. Was it jealousy? Surely not. She hadn't known him long enough to develop such strong feelings that she should be emotionally invested in his marital status. Yet there was no denying her powerful attraction to him. She reasoned that he was a man with many fine qualities most women would find attractive, so it was a normal response on her part. Perhaps time was no factor when the heart was involved. And she feared her heart was definitely in danger of being involved with Jake McBride.

 

 

Once Jake gave Shorty a good tongue-lashing for not waking him, he saddled Preacher and headed out to get the men and cattle moving. Shorty tried to tell him nobody had asked where he was, but Jake wouldn't listen.

Shorty and Promise had been in the wagon for over an hour when he finally mentioned Jake's bad mood. “Boss sure was in a fit this morning.”

“Was he?” Promise didn't think he was angry when he left the wagon. Embarrassed maybe, but not angry.

“He didn't even have coffee or nothin' to eat. He just tore outta camp like the devil was on his tail.”

“Why was he upset?” Promise was genuinely puzzled.

“I guess he was mad 'cause I didn't wake him. But I didn't figure a couple of hours would hurt anything. I asked Cole, and he said I should let him sleep,” Shorty grumbled. “I told him most of the men were out with the cattle, and no one asked where he was anyway.”
Dang it!
He hadn't meant to say that. Sometimes he should just keep his trap shut, he told himself.

Promise understood the implication of what Shorty said, but she remained quiet. Jake must have thought the men might misunderstand the reason he was in her wagon. And if he was a married man, that compounded the problem, not to mention that kiss was most inappropriate. She wanted to ask Shorty if there was a Mrs. McBride, but she wasn't quite sure how to go about it. She didn't want Shorty to get the impression she had a personal interest in his boss. If she did find the courage to ask, and Shorty told her Jake had a wife, what then? Oh, she simply couldn't bear the thought! She might not remember her past, but she knew she wasn't the kind of woman who would allow the advances of a married man. Not even if that man was Jake McBride, and no matter how much she wanted more of his kisses.

Every man who tried to talk to Jake found out in short order that he was about as friendly as an old hungry grizzly. He was angry with himself for the situation he'd found himself in earlier that morning, and he was taking it out on everyone. He didn't want the men to get the wrong idea where Promise was concerned. Not only that, but he wasn't happy thinking about how good it felt to kiss her. She was a distraction he didn't need. He couldn't exactly keep his distance from her if he was going to protect her, but he sure wasn't going to step inside that wagon again.

Cole ignored the warnings from the other men to stay away from Jake, and rode up beside him. “Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?”

Jake's mind was racing with unanswered questions, and he didn't hear Cole ride up. “That's not funny,” he grumbled. “I can't believe Shorty didn't wake me. I fell asleep waiting for her to fall asleep. She was afraid of being in there alone.”

Cole gave him a lecherous grin and arched an eyebrow at him.

“Don't go there,” Jake warned.

Cole laughed, and in his own best interest decided to stop teasing him. If there was one thing he was certain of, Jake wouldn't take advantage of any woman under any circumstance. “Don't blame Shorty. I told him to let you sleep. I didn't figure an hour or two was any big deal. You haven't had much sleep since we left Texas.”

“I don't need sleep that badly. We need to get the cattle to Wyoming, and the sooner the better,” Jake growled.

“We've been at this for almost eight hours. Don't you think it's time we took a break? We're all soaked, and it'd be kinda nice to get into some dry duds, not to mention have some hot coffee.”

Jake had to agree there. A steaming cup of coffee sounded good. And his stomach was reminding him that his own temper this morning had kept him from eating. “Yeah, we need to stop,” he admitted.

“I don't know about you, but I'm beginning to think it's going to rain all the way to Wyoming,” Cole said.

“It sure looks that way,” Jake agreed miserably. “Go on and tell Shorty we'll be stopping for the night. I'll see you at camp after I make sure the men have all been in to eat. That should give you enough time to catch some rest.”

 

 

The men were grumbling about the incessant rain, and Jake's mood was about as rank as the longhorns. He'd made sure every man had eaten and had time to rest before he rode back to camp.

He'd been in the saddle nearly ten hours by the time he got to camp. Shorty handed him a cup of coffee. “Sit yourself down and I'll grab you some grub.”

Jake had just taken his first bite when the lightning and thunder started. He waited a minute to see if it would stop, but when the ground started rumbling, he knew every man had to get back on his horse.
Will this never end?
Throwing his plate aside, he ran to get a fresh horse. He rode out, facing the worst storm he'd ever seen. He'd heard stories about lightning striking entire herds, but he'd never seen the tips of their horns glow like they were now. It was an eerie sight, and he had a foreboding sense this was just the beginning of another very long night.