Finding Rebecca: A Novel of Love and the Holocaust (6 page)

Christopher thought of what Peter had
said about taking Rebecca away, but never mentioned it out loud. No one spoke,
and instead they just watched the waves roll back and forth, covering the rocks
like a white tablecloth spreading out and then being drawn back again. They sat
there for twenty minutes or maybe more, until the night air drew in and forced
them back up to the house, where dinner was on the table as they walked in.
Rebecca took her usual place and they sat there eating, mainly in silence.
Christopher’s father let Rebecca stay much later than usual, well past ten
o’clock, and hugged her as she left.

“Christopher will walk you home, “he
said. “Take good care of her, Christopher.” Christopher nodded and they walked
out into the night. It was March and the chill in the air bit at Christopher’s
neck and he flicked up the collar on his coat. He looked at Rebecca and she at
him and they set off into the darkness. The light had faded and all they could
see was the outline of the house behind them and the moon illuminating the sea
beyond and a million shining stars above their heads. The light shone
grey-white on Rebecca’s skin and sent shadows cascading from her cheek bones
and down along the bruise on her face. Her brown hair moved gently with the
wind and her blue eyes were dark. “I don’t ever want to go back there
Christopher,” she said but still she walked on.

“I know Rebecca. I…I wish there was
something I could do. I wish I could get a job and take you away from
here…and…”

“You’ve already done so much,
Christopher.”

“Do you really think that Peter will leave
home for good?”

“Yes, I think so. He’s been talking
about leaving for months now. He has a friend in Portsmouth who said he could
get him a job working on the docks there.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There are some things I can’t tell
anyone Christopher, even you.”

Christopher looked over at her, his
heart beating so hard that he could almost feel it coming out through the skin
on his chest but she looked straight ahead. He felt a tear in his eye, but
fought it back before he began again. It took every piece of his courage to ask
her, “so do you think Peter will take you with him to Portsmouth?”

“Peter looks after me.”

“I look after you, and so does my
father. And my sister looks after you. We all do.”

“I know you do. I know you do
Christopher but you can’t always be there. Peter was there with me all the
times when you couldn’t be.” Rebecca reached over and took Christopher’s hand.
He felt her fingers clasp around his.

“I don’t know what I would do without
you, Rebecca. I just don’t know what I would do if you left. I want to be there
for you whenever you need me. ”

“You could come with me.”

“My father would never allow that.”
Christopher replied without thinking.

“Maybe when you’re older then.”

The words swirled around within him
and he thought of leaving with her but those thoughts dissipated as soon as
they came. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said, as the lights of her house
came into view.

She turned to him and took his other
hand to face him and his heart quickened even more. Christopher’s eyes were
used to the dark now and he could make out each curve and angle of her face and
the outline of her long hair falling down over her shoulders. “Christopher, I
want to tell you….” she paused and looked at the ground and he thought his
heart would drop out. “I just want to thank you. You’re my favorite boy, the
best I could ever…” And he reached forward to her and felt his lips against her
and he felt the feather touch against his and it was awkward and perfect and he
reached his hand up and put it behind her neck and gently held her head.
Rebecca drew her head back with a smile and his body was electrified, his heart
on fire. Christopher had no idea what to say. She shifted her feet and let go
of his hands.

“I’d better get going inside.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll talk to you in a few days. I
need to wait until things settle down here.”

“You can leave a note for me under
the rock on the beach.”

“Ok.
 
Good night, Christopher.”
 
She leaned forward to peck him on the
lips again and was gone.

Five days later she was gone. Christopher left her a note and
when she didn’t turn up he knew that Peter had kept his promise.

It was 1937 when Uli came back, just
in time for Christopher’s 19
^th
birthday. He still looked almost the
same with just a few more grey hairs than he had in the summer of 1924. They
sat out in the back garden in deck chairs, drinking cold beers as Alexandra
prepared the dinner.

“It’s been a while since you spoke
German this much I’d say?’ Uli asked.

“Not really. We try to speak it a
little around the house. Father doesn’t want us to forget where we’re from.”

“And nor should he.”

 
“I can’t believe it’s been four years.”
Stefan said. “Times were so hard after mother’s funeral. I meant to come back
to Germany, but who had the money then?”

“I understand, Stefan. Times were
hard everywhere. Germany was worse than most.” There was a lull in the
conversation for a few seconds before Uli began again. “And how about you,
Christopher, how are you enjoying working for the old man? You like being an
accountant? I hope he’s not working you too hard, although I’m sure that he is,”
Uli laughed.

“I do enjoy it.
 
We spend a lot of our time in town in
the back rooms of businesses doing their books. We get to meet a lot of people.
I never knew my father was so popular. ” Christopher smiled. “I thought it
would be easy working for my father. I thought he’d let me go early every day
and give me more money and time off than I’d know what to do with.”

“I do give you time off. It’s called
the weekend.” Stefan laughed along with his brother.

“No, it’s been great working for him.
I’m learning a lot and one day I’ll open my own practice.”

“You should come back to Germany,
Christopher. There are plenty of opportunities there now.”

“Christopher is doing fine in
Jersey.” Stefan said.

“All I’m saying is that there are a
lot of exciting opportunities for a young man like Christopher in Germany right
now….”

“Maybe we can talk about
this another time, Uli,” Stefan said

Uli was laughing as he started
speaking again. “I see the old tree house is still there. Do you still want to
live in it Christopher?”

“No, I think this house has a little
more room.”

“Whatever happened to that sweet
little girl? Rebecca? I know that she was in England for a while. What happened
to her? Did she ever come back?”

Christopher opened his mouth to
answer, but his father was already talking. “No, she never came back. She went
to Portsmouth with her brother and as far as we know they still live there. She
and Christopher were very close at the time. It took him quite a while to get
over it when she left.”

“And she never wrote? If you two were
so close why wouldn’t she write?”

“She sent a couple of letters but
then they stopped. She never gave us her address.”

“I’m sorry Christopher. That must
have been hard to lose your friend like that.” Uli said. Christopher looked up
from his beer bottle and nodded.

“Yes it was a difficult time for
Christopher but we got through it. He even has a new girlfriend now don’t you
Christopher?”

“No I don’t,” he said. “Every time I
mention a girl my father thinks she’s my girlfriend.”

“Don’t worry about it Christopher, he
still does the same thing with me and I’m 36 years of age.”

“Which reminds me, when are you
getting married Uli? What happened with that girl Angela?”

“She asked too many questions. Listen
Stefan, I’ll get married when you get married, okay?”

“I was married.”

“Yes but you’ve been a single man for
a long time now, almost 13 years. What’s your father’s love life like
Christopher? Ever find any strange women at breakfast?”

Christopher looked at his father with
a smile on his face and his father smiled too. “No, no strange women at
breakfast. He must sneak them out before Alexandra and I get out of bed.” They
all laughed again. Alexandra came out and sat down with them.

“Sunshine, you’re getting too big to
sit on my lap now.” Uli smiled.

“I can still try.” She said and sat
back on Uli’s lap. Uli grunted and snorted, pretending that she was crushing
him, but Alexandra just laughed.

“All right, Alexandra, that’s
enough,” her father said. “Sit down there, please.” He pointed to the extra
chair.

“We were just talking about your
father’s love life, or lack thereof. So what about you Alexandra, surely a
beautiful young girl like you has hundreds of boys chasing after her?”

Christopher and his father both sat
forward and Alexandra smiled. “There’s too many to choose from Uli, I just
can’t make up my mind.”

“I’ll bet. You look just like your
mother. She was just like you, those blond curls and those pale blue eyes. Just
don’t end up with the kind of man that she did.” Uli roared laughing. Stefan
pursed his lips slightly and scratched the back of his head, but still smiled.

“Is dinner ready yet?” Stefan asked.

It was and they went inside where the
table was laid out and Alexandra brought the roast beef and potatoes and laid
them out on the table. Christopher helped her bring over the vegetables and
they sat down to eat. It had been some time since he had thought about her, but
the mention of Rebecca’s name quieted Christopher and he remained silent
through the dinner, watching the others speak. Uli was talking to Alexandra
about her plans to go to university when Christopher noticed his father looking
at him.

“Christopher, could you clear the
table please?” Stefan asked. Christopher nodded and took the plates, making
sure not to waste any food before scraping them off. He stepped out into the
garden and reached into his pocket for a packet of cigarettes and drew one out.
“Are you smoking out there?” his father asked.

“Yes.” Christopher said. He raised up
his eyes whilst facing the other direction.

“Well if you insist on indulging in
that filthy habit please go down to the end of the garden, at least that way we
won’t have to smell it.”

Christopher trudged onto the grass
without answering. The night was drawing in and the greying light was gritty
and solid, as if he could reach out and feel it between his fingers. He lit the
cigarette with a match which glowed bright orange gold and then died as he drew
the smoke into his lungs. Christopher continued walking on down towards the old
tree house and the sea beyond. He stopped at the tree house and reached up to
touch it, to run his hand along the wooden surface. He was six feet tall now,
tall enough to see up and into it and the simple shelf that hung below the gap
in the boards that served as a window. The paint he and Rebecca had applied to
the inside of the tree house was flaking and cracked but still showed the
garish red color she had insisted upon, and Christopher smiled. He drew on the
cigarette and watched the grey smoke billow up and merge into and become the
night air. He thought about Rebecca and wondered where she was now and why he
had never gone to Portsmouth to look for her. He wondered what she looked like
now. He thought about their kiss, but then dismissed it. They were kids at the
time. He wasn’t a kid anymore.

“You know the government in Germany
has proven the link between smoking and cancer? Herr Hitler himself has spoken
out against the evils of smoking,” Uli said from behind him.

“Is that right?” Christopher
answered.

“Yes, the government has initiated a
nationwide campaign to stop people from smoking. They say it causes heart
disease and that it can stop women from becoming pregnant.”

“Well, when I start trying to get
pregnant, I’ll quit.”

Uli smiled and looked down at his
feet before bringing his eyes back to the tree house. “This thing wasn’t easy
to build.”

“I can remember seeing it for the
first time. I think it might have been the greatest thrill I’ve ever had, even
to this day.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but maybe you
should get out a little more and not work so hard eh?” They both laughed and
Christopher threw down the cigarette and followed his uncle back up to the
house, where Stefan and Alexandra were waiting at the kitchen table.