Finding Stone (The Stone Brothers Series) (Volume 1) (21 page)

We've had a really good time tonight.  I try to take Molly out at least once a week, even if it's just for a walk. We know we won't get to get out as much once the baby is born. Molly is in the bathroom with Missy, Lani and Jessica. For the life of me, I can't figure out why women need to go in groups to the bathroom. Us guys, in, out, done. Those girls will be in there for twenty minutes or more. I asked Molly about it once. She said they start talking and then lose track of time. I look at my watch; they've already been gone for ten minutes.

The guys are throwing darts. I decide to join in on the game since I'll be waiting. As I start to walk to the dartboard, Sarah approaches me. Shit.

"Excuse me, Noah, can we talk?"

"Sarah. I don't think that's a good idea."

"Please, just for a minute." Dammit, what could she possibly want?

"Sure, I guess." I pull her to the side. She looks up and has tears in her eyes.

"You look happy," she says.

"I am happy."

"Well, I just wanted to apologize for the way I've acted and for what I said about her."

"Sarah. I need to tell you that I'm also sorry. Sorry that I led you on. I shouldn't have. You deserved better."

"Thank you for that. I want better. I hope I find it. Good luck, Noah."

"You too, Sarah." I watch her walk away. I find myself hoping she finds her happily ever after.

We are all here in the bathroom. Noah always gives me a hard time about the amount of time we spend in here. It's our gossip time. It's a place always from the noise. It's just a girl thing, I guess. Somehow, Kerrigan is brought up.

"Have any of you heard from Kerrigan? I know that Lani knows her from school. How did you meet her, Jessica?" I ask. Missy is being her quiet self and is just listening to us talk.  

"I met her through Lani, a couple of years ago," Jessica says.

"Lani, I remember you telling me you didn't like her in high school. How did you become friends?" I ask. Immediately, Lani looks down.

"You can trust us.” She takes a deep breath. I see she is ready to let go of whatever she has been holding on to. She has sadness and anger on her face.

"We'd gone to the same party one night. It was the spring break party no one wanted to miss. The guy throwing it was the captain of the football team. His parents were gone for the week. If you wanted a chance at being cool, you had to be there. I noticed she'd been drinking. By all appearances, she looked to be having a good time. Guys would hit on her and she'd wave them off. I always assumed she liked the attention. I decided to start drinking. I wanted to be cool like her. After a few drinks, I started feeling light headed, sick to my stomach. I tried to find the bathroom. I was opening all the doors. I opened one to a bedroom. In this room, there were two guys laughing, they were pulling their pants up. I saw a girl passed out on the bed. I couldn't see who it was. I only saw her dark hair. I went to close the door when suddenly some guy was pushing me inside. I started kicking and screaming. Kerrigan was walking down the hallway and asked what was going on. The other guys that were in the room got excited when they saw her. One had a hold of me, and the other two had a hold of Kerrigan. They started grabbing her, pulling at her clothes. She was trying to fight them off. I wanted to help, but I was so scared. I ended up getting free from the guy who had me. I elbowed him in the gut and he doubled over. She made eye contact with me and told me to run. I did. Before I got out the door, I turned back and saw the two had her on the bed. I yelled for them to stop. She screamed at me to run. I told them I was calling the cops. Thankfully, they stopped. Kerrigan got up and ran to me. I didn’t end up calling the cops. I was afraid my parents would find out. I was afraid I would get in trouble for underage drinking. I was afraid of everything then. I was so young and stupid. So, I didn't. I never said anything. I saw Kerrigan the following Monday at school. After that day, we always hung out and ended up being great friends. She was grateful I stopped them that night. I know she saved me that night. I know that I can never repay her for her friendship. I would do anything for her."

Shit. What do you say after a story like that? "I'm glad you're okay."

I notice Missy shaking, tears running down her face. She runs out of the bathroom slamming the door behind her. I know that she has dealt with being raped as a teenager. I can't even imagine how she feels. She goes to the table and grabs her jacket. I grab for her arm and yell for her to stop. She is sobbing.

"Missy, please! Wait!" I scream. Brayden rushes towards us.

"What happened?" Brayden asks, the rest of the guys gather round.

"Leave me alone. I'm sorry!" She screams.

"Missy, stop! Tell me, has someone done something to you. Show me who it is? I'll kick his ass!" Brayden looks around and is getting angry.

All the guys look at me. "I'm sorry. It isn't my story."

“Someone better start talking.” Brayden is furious.

Missy stops. She's still sobbing. She looks at me, then looks at Brayden and screams, "I was raped! Kerrigan got saved from being raped that night. I wasn’t saved. NO ONE SAVED ME! Now you know, Brayden! Now you know why I didn’t want to talk about my past. I knew once you found out you wouldn’t want this used up girl! Who would want ME?”

“Missy, I’m sorry. I….” Brayden is unable to form words.

Missy turns to Lani, “It was me passed out in the bed that night. They took turns. IT WAS ME, LANI! I was the dark haired girl in the bed. Why couldn’t someone save ME?””

“Missy, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Lani starts crying.” Please, Missy, don’t go. I’m sorry!”

Missy rushes out the door.

Many things start to happen at once. Maddox stands up with such force, his chair goes flying into the wall. He looks murderous right now. It’s frightening. He storms toward the bathroom. Brayden walks outside. I follow him.

"Brayden?" His eyes are shut. "Brayden. I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me Molly? I don't understand."

"I only knew that something happened to her when she was in high school. I didn't know the circumstances. I just found out what happened tonight while we were in the bathroom."

“I feel like I’m drowning. I can’t breathe and my chest hurts. What am I supposed to do? How do I fix this? I’m so pissed! Dammit! I’m pissed with myself for feeling like I pushed her to tell me about her past. I’m pissed for her that she had to go through that.”

“You didn’t know.”

“Why couldn’t she talk to me? I’ve messed everything up.”

“You don’t know that. Give her some time then try to talk to her. Okay?”

"Molly, it's too cold for you out here. Please go back inside. Now. I need to be alone."

I give Maddox a few minutes, then go to find him. He probably doesn't want an audience, but I can't let him deal with this alone. Evan is one step behind me. We have always looked out for each other. We always will. I look at Jessica and she points me into the direction of the bathroom. I walk in and see that Maddox had already punched the mirror. Evan immediately tries to restrain him, to keep him from punching anything else. His hands are a bloody mess.

"What the hell Maddox? I say, while trying to get a look at his hands.

"Get off of me." Maddox yells.

"Stop! Calm down! Let me look at your hands!"

"What's going on Maddox?" Evan asks.

"I just don't like women being used like that.” Evan and I look at each other and immediately know he is lying. He's never been good at lying.

"Bullshit. What's this about? Missy? Kerrigan?" Maddox looks up when Evan says Kerrigan's name.

"Did you sleep with her?" I ask.

"It's my fault." Maddox says ashamed.

"What do you mean? Missy said she was raped and Kerrigan almost."

"You're not to blame for that! You haven't even known them for that long. Kerrigan hasn't even been around," Evan says.

"Talk to us, Maddox. Trust us. No judgments here. You know that."

"Look. Let's get back to the table. I promise to fill you guys in later. Okay?"

"Hell no! Cut the bullshit, Maddox!" I say.

"Alright. Shit! Just give me some space." Evan lets him go.

"I had been trying to get with Kerrigan for about a year. I knew she was looking to settle down. I don't or at least I didn't want to. The more I was with her the more I wanted. I came here one evening. I didn't see Kerrigan at the bar. I assumed she wasn't working. I was waiting for you guys to get here when a girl came up to the bar. She was flirting. Being the dickhead that I am, I let one thing lead to another. As I was walking out of this same bathroom, zipping up my pants, Kerrigan came out of the women's bathroom. She saw us. I saw the pain in her eyes. I felt like shit. I went after her. She stopped me. She stood tall, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "You're not who I thought you were. You're just like all of the others. Goodbye, Maddox." That was it. She refused to even acknowledge me after that."

"Shit," Evan says shocked.

"Shit," I say as well.

"So what's your fault? This isn't on you." Evan says.

"I didn't mean the rape. Just hearing that she went through that broke something in me. It broke the lie I was trying to live. I knew Aaron was coming around, taking her out, sending her flowers, being seen in public with her. I've heard rumors at the police station about him being an asshole. I've heard that he has a bad history with women. I just don't know to what extent."

"Look all of us here know there isn't a thing you can do unless Kerrigan steps forward. You aren't to blame." Evan says.

"Don't try to make me feel better. She trusted me. She thought I was a better man. I feel like I let her down. I did let her down. I feel like I led her to Aaron. I don't know how to make it better. I can't even find her." Maddox pushes past us. We let him go. He has to work this out on his own and understand he really isn't to blame. I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid. We head out to find Molly. She is crying; Lani and Jessica are hugging her.

“You girls ready to go home?” I ask

“My cab is here. I am leaving now,” Jessica replies. She gives her final hugs and walks out.

“Molly? Lani? You girls ready? I can drive you home Lani.”

“I’m ready. Can we stop and get a big fat burger somewhere?” Molly laughs.

“Yeah. I need a good burger right now too. Lani you coming?”

“No, I need to think. I’m just going to walk home.”

“Uh. It’s 25 degrees and it’s midnight. You aren’t walking home.” Evan speaks up.

“Yes, I am. I have a coat and I know what time it is.”

“Lani, I’d feel more comfortable if we could take you.” I say.

“It’s in the opposite direction. Seriously I’ll be fine.”

“Then I’ll drive you or walk behind you to make sure you don’t get hypothermia.” Evan says.

“Christ. Fine. Take me home. Just keep your mouth shut. I swear you say one word to me I will punch you.” When Lani says that, the mood eases. We all start laughing, except Evan.

“You’re pissing me off little girl. Get your shit and let’s go.”

“God, you’re such a dickwad.” Lani turns to me and says, “Your brother is an ass.” I smile thinking she has no idea who Evan really is. I’m not sure I know all of it. Nor do I want to. He is harmless though, a harmless ass. I start laughing.

I walk Molly to the car. I know she is upset so I try to calm her.

“Babe. You okay?”

“Yeah. No. Hell, I don’t know. I feel like all of this bad stuff is happening to good people.”

“I know. You can’t change any of it. You are a good friend to them and they to you.”

“You’re right. I can’t change it. I never had to deal with any of this. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen where I’m from. I just never saw it. People must be really good at hiding.”

“Yes. I don’t question why people hide things. My brothers and me did. We didn't want to be put in foster care and possibly separated. That’s why we kept quiet.” She starts crying. Shit. Wrong answer.

“When you became an adult and no longer lived with your dad did you still go home?”

“Yes.”

“Why? Why would you go back?”

“I went home on weekends and on school breaks because I missed my brothers. Once they were both out I still went back because I wanted him to see that he didn’t break us.”

“Did you ever ask why he did that?”

“I did. He said his sons were just as worthless as he was. I think it’s because we looked so much like our mom
.
The day we buried him, my brothers and I realized that he was a burden that we needed to let go of. We had to leave him in our past and try to move on. It hasn't been easy for any of us. We've all done that in our own way. I think out of us all, Maddox has had the hardest time.”

“I love you, Noah.”

“I know.” I feel a lump forming in my throat. “What kind of burger do you want?” I ask while pulling into the burger joint.