Finding Stone (The Stone Brothers Series) (Volume 1) (22 page)

It's been a week of sadness. I don't know what to do to make this better. Work hasn't been the same. Missy took the week off. She called in sick. I've tried calling, but it goes straight to voicemail. I've sent numerous texts. They have gone unreturned. I feel horrible for what happened that night at Hansons. Brayden has even been staying away from me. I think he feels like I should have told him about Missy. I wish he could understand that I really didn’t know what happened. She never told me the story. In fact, she never said she was raped; she let me figure it out on my own.

Finally, Brayden has agreed to talk to me. We are meeting for lunch today. We have an hour to talk, to figure something out together. As soon as he comes through the door, I realize how much I've missed him. He's been a good friend to me since I've been here. I don't want to lose that. He's like a big brother to me. When he gets to the table, I can't help but stand up and hug him.

"I've missed you so much, Brayden. Work and lunch hasn't been the same without you around. I hate that you've been ignoring me. Please let’s figure out what we can do to fix this."

"Molly, this isn't about you. It's mostly about me. What happened last week has made me really look at myself and what kind of man I am, what kind of man I thought I was. I've royally fucked up. She refuses to have any kind of contact with me. I'm going out of my mind trying to figure out how to fix this. What can I do?"

I've never seen this side of Brayden. I've only been around the funny, carefree Brayden. Sounds like he's had the same kind of week I've had, a shitty one.

"I was so jealous over a man I'd never met. I kept pressing her for information. I couldn't move forward. I pushed her away. Now all I want to do is kill those men that have brought so much pain to Missy. I mean I'm so angry for her. How could anyone do that to someone like her? She thinks so little of me. Why would she think I wouldn’t want her? It’s not her fault. I want to be there for her. I want her to draw strength from me. I love her Molly. I have for a while now. She thinks she is unworthy? It’s me who is unworthy."

I see a tear roll down his face. I can't handle watching a man cry. It hurts me to see it. I watch as he quickly wipes his face. I let it go like I didn't see it.

"I haven't talked to Missy either. I'm hoping to get in touch with her and try to fix some of this. I know things can't go back to the way they were. I want her to know that I love her for her and no other reason. Maybe that's what she needs from you too. Maybe she needs you to give her space. She hasn’t dealt with this. We all love her. We all want her in our lives. We need to make sure she knows that. I can't imagine what she's gone through all of these years. I know she loves Cade. I've seen her with him. I think that maybe she doesn't want him exposed to anything that's happened to her. She's protecting him the only way she knows how. She made a blessing out of a nightmare."

Brayden hangs his head. "Damn, just thinking about what she went through makes me want to kill someone. I don't want her to do it alone anymore. I want her to feel like she can turn to me."

"All we can do is give her time." We finished the rest of the lunch talking about Noah and this baby on the way. We ended up having a good visit. I feel a little lighter by the time I left. One talk is down, another big one to go.

It took a few more days and several more phone calls and texts, but Missy finally agreed to meet with me. I called Lani as well. I've tried to get in touch with Kerrigan, but haven't heard anything back. I thought she might like to be here since she was a part of what happened.

Both of them are coming over while Noah is at work. Lani arrives first. Missy arrives about five minutes later. Immediately, Lani starts crying. I can see that Missy has already been. Since I invited them over, I start our conversation.   

"Thank you both for coming over. I've been worried about you since that night at Hansons." I continue on speaking directly to Missy.

"Missy, first off I want to say that I love you. I love you for the wonderful friendship that you have given me. I didn't know a single person when I moved here. You have been nothing but good to me and I thank you so much for that. If you don't want to talk about that night, that's your right. I will never ask you to tell me something that you don't want to. I want you to know that I am your friend regardless. If you decide to talk about it, please know that what's said here today will not leave this room."

Missy is still silent, but Lani decides to talk.

"Missy, can I ask you a few questions? Not about the night. I've been trying to make sense of a few things."

"Alright, I guess." Missy says quietly.

"Did we go to school together?" I see what Lani's doing. She's opened the door to get Missy to talk, asking an easy question. I hope this works.

Missy takes a deep breath. "Yes, we did, though I didn't realize it until I heard you talking at Hansons. I was a grade ahead of you and Kerrigan." She closes her eyes and continues on with her story. "A boy I had a crush on was going to the party. I heard him talking about it in Algebra. He called it the 'Party of all Spring Break Parties.' Everyone was going. It was going to be huge.

One of my friends was supposed to meet me there. We were both so excited. She helped me work up the courage to finally tell him. He didn't know that I liked him. I'm not even sure now if he ever really if knew I existed. I got to the party and waited for about an hour for my friend. I didn't find out until a few days later that she got caught sneaking out and got grounded. I never saw the boy I liked. His name was Danny. As I started to walk through the crowd, a boy came up to me and started talking to me. He was so nice. No boy had ever talked to me like he had. I was having such a good time. He offered to get me a drink. I didn't want to be rude, so I said yes. After that, I can only remember bits and pieces. I remember I started to get sick after drinking about half of the cup. He told me to finish my cup and I would feel better.

I had never drank before so I didn't know then that it wasn't normal. The room started to spin. I thought I was drunk. He told me to follow him and he would take me to the bathroom. Only he didn't take me to the bathroom. Lani, the story you told the other night, listening to you, I could hardly comprehend what you were saying. When you started telling us about you and how Kerrigan got brought into the room. I felt like I was right back in in there, except now I know more of what happened. I felt so ashamed, so sick. I didn't know how to handle it. So, I left. I ran and I've stayed away from everyone. I thought I was over what happened to me so long ago, but I guess I never will be."

At this point, I'm speechless. I don't know what to say to make it better for her. I can't stop the tears coming out of my eyes.

"A couple of months later, I found out I was pregnant. I have never told anyone my story. Not even my parents know what happened. I was a good girl."

"Missy, what happened that night wasn't your fault. EVER! I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"The only good thing that came from that night was Cade. He's been such a blessing to me. He's such a good boy. I don't want him to know how he came to be. I don't want him to think he was a mistake. He's never been that to me. In fact, he saved me. I don't know what I would have done without him. He gave me a reason to live. I made an appointment for an abortion. It was for two weeks after I found out. In those two weeks, I found myself talking to myself and talking to my stomach. I tried explaining to my baby why I couldn’t have him. When it came time for my appointment, I realized the baby inside me had given me the strength to get through the hardest time in my life. I didn’t go through with it. I couldn’t. I am so happy I didn’t."

"I'm so sorry, Missy. I never knew. I would have never hurt you intentionally. I would have never said anything if I had known it was you." Lani grabs Missy's hand and holds on tight.

Missy began talking again. "For years, it's all been fragments of memories. I can see the boy who gave me the drink. I remember bits and pieces of what those boys did to me. I remember hearing another girl's voice in the room. I didn't know the voice. I remember thinking that I knew the other girl in the room. She was familiar. I could hear the boys taunting you all. I wasn’t passed out. I was drugged. I had to have been. Lying there, my head was spinning. Things were blurry. After all this time, I wanted to forget that night ever happened, the things that happened to me. I've done a lot of thinking, a lot of soul searching this past week. I know now that I can't do this alone. I can't make myself forget. I've started counseling. It's going to take time, but hopefully I can get better."

"We're here for you however you need us to be," I say.

I had lunch delivered from a local Italian place. We ate, tried to get some normalcy back in our day. We all laughed a little. They couldn't believe how much my belly had grown. I seemed to have popped out since they last saw me.

Lani left a little after we ate, but Missy stayed behind a little longer. I'm glad for the chance to talk to her alone.

"Have you talked to Brayden yet?"

"We aren't going to work out. I need to find a way to tell him to stop calling. I need him to leave me alone."

"Why won't it work?"

She starts to cry. "Who would want me? Why would he want me now that he knows I've been raped? I feel so disgusting, so used up. I wish I had been able to tell him the truth when he asked me about Cade's father. But Molly, no one knows. My parents think I had a one-night stand at a party. I've carried this burden all by myself. It's been slowly killing me. Brayden's probably disgusted with me. I'm disgusted with me. How can he ever look at me the same?"

"Oh, Missy. Please don't think of yourself that way. He loves you. He wants you to confide in him. He was so upset when I spoke to him. He feels like he let you down. When you are ready, will you talk to him? Hear what he has to say? I'm glad you're talking to someone about that night. If you ever need anything, anytime, I'm just a phone call away.

“I’m not ready yet”

“I know.”

~~~

Work has been tolerable. Missy has weekly sessions with her therapist. She seems to be doing a little better. I catch Brayden watching her all of the time. He told me he is giving her space. He has stopped calling her, but still sends her one text a day. Every night, it's the same message. It never changes. Tonight, before Brayden left, I watched him typing on his phone. He was standing by the door, out of Missy's sight. I watched Missy get her phone out and swipe her screen. As she read her message, she smiled.

“I'm still here. I'll always be-B”

It's 6 weeks until my due date. I'm standing in front of the mirror looking at my stomach. Every week I think I can't possibly get much bigger. Every week, I prove myself wrong. I've already started having the practice contractions called Braxton Hicks. Tonight, they are a killer.

I have kind of felt a little off all day. Noah tells me I worry too much, but that's what pregnant nurses do. We know all of the things that can happen. Nurses are the worst patients. I have proven that every time I have an OB appointment. I even caught Dr. Chaney rolling his eyes at me.

Tonight we are going to a fundraiser for the hospital. We don't do these often, but this one benefits the E.R. in particular. I know I've taken forever to get ready. I'm sure Noah is about done waiting.

"You ready yet?"

"Yes. I guess, lets go."

"You sure this time?" He hugs me and smiles. I can't get comfortable. I've changed my clothes about six times already and even broken down and cried at one point.

"I'm feeling extra fat and very pregnant. I feel like I can't breathe and I have a lineman in my belly. I'm telling you Noah, something is off today." We've had this same conversation about every week. Every doctor appointment has gone great. Dr. Chaney tells us everything looks fine.

"Baby, we were just at the OB appointment two days ago. I've seen the ultrasounds and lab work. It's normal to be nervous. Besides, you've got your own personal emergency doctor."

"I know, I know. Come on. Let's get this night over with."

I hate these things. I know Molly didn't want to come either, but it's for the E.R. and we desperately need some new equipment. We start making our rounds to the tables; stopping to shake hands, make small talk. Schmooze and talk the rich people into opening their wallets and writing a big fat check. It’s crazy how much money people will shell out to get their name on a hospital wing.

Molly and I are making our way back to our table. She's really not feeling well and wanted to go sit down for a while. Just as I we are ready to sit down, I hear Avery speak.

"Hi there, Noah. How are you doing tonight?"

Hearing her speak my name irritates the shit out of me. I have told her to back off numerous times. I mean, Jesus, I'm married now. The bitch seems to try even harder, especially when Molly isn't around.

"Wow, Molly, you look great. I don't know how you do it, though."

"Do what, Avery?" Molly asks.

"Carry all that baby weight. How far along are you? Surely you have to be over your due date."

As Molly starts to say something back to Avery, I place my hand on Molly's stomach.

"She's beautiful isn't she? Knowing that she is carrying my son in this amazing body is stunning. It's incredible what a mother's body can endure, isn't it? I'm a lucky man. I hope everyone enjoys their evening." We go to sit at our table, leaving Avery looking like the stupid bitch that she is. First thing when I get back to work, I'm having a talk with Avery to let her know I will file formal complaint against her. I hope to put this shit to rest once and for all.

After sitting down to eat and finishing, I see some hospital staff that I need to speak to.

"Hey, I have to go talk to the chief and a few members of the board. Why don't you just stay here?"

"I have to go to the bathroom," she half smiles.

“You okay?"

"Yeah. Braxton Hicks again."

"Okay, go to the bathroom. I'll talk quickly and we can go home."