Finding the Blood Assassin [Lords of the Expanse 3] (Siren Publishing Allure) (12 page)

“I need to feel as though you need me, too, Jamison,” he admitted quietly. “I hate that all you’re doing is giving and all I seem to do is take, just this once, please.” He’d never ask it of her again since she seemed to be abhorrent of taking his blood, and he felt her shaking her head even now. “It’s all right, I know you don’t want it, it’s fine,” he soothed even as a knife carved into his heart. Funny that he hadn’t really known it was still there to be hurt. Shuttering his emotions through a lifetime of skill, he rolled them back over and pushed up to his hands so he was above her and she wouldn’t have to speak nice words while she was revolted by all of him. Hanging his head, he couldn’t even look at her. It hurt too much to need he realized, and she wouldn’t ever need him that way. Who would?

Her heart felt as if it had been torn out by the look on his face. She had wanted only to keep from hurting him, yet that was what she had done. “Raven.” She pulled his face up to look at her, and when he did she said, “I love you, Raven.” The silver was burning inside of her, and now that he was no longer moving it was a constant feeling. “I didn’t want to hurt you, yet I did hurt you.” She sighed and shook her head. “I can’t blame you if you never want to be with me again, but please.” She leaned up and pulled him closer. “I want to feed from you. I want to feed from my lover, from the man that I love with all of my heart, Raven.” Her muscles clenched on him, but she tamped back the wince of pain. “Promise me you will tell me if I hurt you if I feed from you?”

Nodding at her words, he leaned into her and let her hold onto him. “I’m hurting you aren’t I?” he asked softly. He either had to stop making love to her or he had to figure out how to get the silver out. “I should pull out, Jamison.” He really didn’t feel in the mood anymore, and he knew that she was only going to take his blood to make him feel better. While it did, it hurt to know that he’d obviously guilted her into it. He should just shore up his barriers and keep any emotion he had buried behind them. It did him no good to try to feel for this woman. All he was good for was pain and death.

“I would rather you didn’t leave me, Raven. I’m sorry, Raven, I never meant to hurt you,” she whispered and let her legs fall from his hips. “I understand if you want to leave me, Raven.”

He heard the quiver in her voice. “I want to be with you, but if you don’t want to be with me I understand, especially with how I hurt you.”

Lowering his head, Raven pressed his cheek to hers and fought with himself. He knew the silver was hurting her, he should leave her. He also knew that he was hurting her by not being more open with her. Shifting slightly, he pulled out and then slid all the way back in as he turned his face to kiss her neck. “I don’t want to leave you, Jamison,” he murmured in a soft tone, his emotions and hers killing him piece by piece. “But I hurt you every time we’re together like this. I know the silver burns you, little one. I’ll have them cut out,” he promised softly.

She shook her head and forced him to look at her. “No, Raven.” Leaning in, she brushed her lips over his and sighed with a small smile. “Only do it if it is what you want. Do not do it because of me. It burns, yes, but to have you happy, to have you inside of me, I don’t care. I will live with the burn, Raven, but there is no need to put yourself through more than you have been through already. Just love me, Ra, that’s all I need and I will be happy.”

She just didn’t understand what he was telling her, and he didn’t have the words. Shaking his head, he closed his eyes in frustration. Why couldn’t she just understand? Opening his eyes, he stared into her eyes. “Do not move an inch,” he told her before kissing her hard and pulling free from her body. Moving from the bed, he pointed a finger at her when she went to protest. “Not a single inch,” he said, his eyes narrowing on her form.

She fell back on the bed, her protest dead on her lips as she watched him getting up and moving. He could feel the heat of her gaze on his body like a physical stroke. Down his back, ass, and legs and then back up. Flicking a look to her over his shoulder, he shook his head mentally at the raw hunger etched on her face. She looked ready to eat him up, and he was half tempted to forget what he was about and jump back into the bed. She made him feel like a whole man instead of one scarred practically from one end to the other.

When he was reasonably sure she’d stay where he’d left her, he went to his closet and into the hidden vault at the back for a very specific, very sharp, very fine blade. Pulling it from its case, he walked back to her with it in hand and then sat holding it to her hilt first. It was only eight inches long with an unusual curve to the blade itself. “Cut them out,” he told her softly as he waited for her to take the blade.

She simply looked at the blade and then up to him in horror. “Raven, I can’t cut them out of you.” She shook her head viciously, repeatedly at him as she pushed herself away from the blade he held. “You are asking too much, Raven, baby, I can’t. When I had mused about getting them removed, I meant by a professional, someone who could knock you out while they removed the silver from you, honey.”

Sighing, he shook his head. “Two problems with that, Jamison. I can’t take drugs of any kind. The ones that I’ve been under during the torture make me ill, my whole body goes into shut down mode. The second is”—he held the knife up to her just a little higher—“I don’t trust anyone more than you to do this Jami,” he said softly.

After a great deal of waffling and indecision, she finally relented. She worked as quickly as she could, and as soon as she had the last silver ring out of him, she used her tongue to seal off the wounds, licking the wounds for healing more than pleasure. Moving up to his side quickly, she whispered, “Feed from me, Raven, you need blood, baby.”

Shivering at her touch, he pulled her down to him and gently nuzzled at her neck. “I’m fine, Jamison, thank you,” he murmured. She’d been quick, she’d been gentle, and she’d taken care of him after. Letting his incisors lengthen, he slowly and very carefully bit into her throat to let her blood flow down his throat.

Her fingers clenched on his chest even as the moan of approval shuddered through her. Another moan escaped her as she straddled his leg, her wet pussy sliding over his skin practically branding him with how hot she was. 

When he pulled back she pressed her forehead to his and breathed him in slowly. “I love you, Raven. I’m so sorry I had to hurt you, sweetheart.”

“You didn’t, Jamison,” he murmured, licking a drop of her blood from his lips. “You freed me from the pain, little one,” he told her as he stroked back her hair. Kissing her gently, he pulled her down over him, encouraging her to straddle his hard body.

She did as he had helped her to do, straddled him, and felt him sliding into her body slowly. Her eyes wide, she watched him as she took him into her body, biting her lip as she did so. Her hands braced her weight on his chest as she moved up, back down, and then up again slowly. There was no burn, no pain for her at least. “How is this?” she choked out finally as she slid back down fully onto him.

“Perfect,” he breathed out, his eyes rolling back in his head. Sucking in a sharp breath, he blinked at her, his eyes focusing once more. “More,” he told her as he lifted his hips to drive his cock into her and, in turn, encouraging her to move faster.

And more she gave him. Jamison’s body began to move roughly on his, riding him as hard as they both seemed to need. Her hands on his chest balancing her, she felt each and every thrust, but no burn from silver, just him, all him. “Raven,” she gasped as she felt the beginning of an orgasm approaching far too rapidly.

“Let it take you, take us,” he told her. He watched her with needy eyes, the predator clear in the gaze as it surveyed its prey, but he was holding back. Slamming his cock up into her pussy harder, he squeezed her flesh, massaging her hips and buttocks as she rode him. “Harder,” he demanded of her.

At his command she rode him harder and faster, her nails raking along his chest ever so lightly. It wasn’t five to six strokes later when her head fell back and she screamed, her body clenching his tightly as she came in a blinding fury.

Bucking under her hard, Raven arched up into her body, her name a bellow that filled the room. Collapsing down onto the bed, he shuddered, catching her as she fell down over him. Sliding his hands around her, he cradled her close to him. “Thank you, Jamison,” he whispered gently against her hair.

Once she caught her breath, she smiled. “You are welcome, Raven.” She nuzzled against him lightly and sighed. “You make me happy, Raven, more than you can possibly know you make me happy.” Again she nuzzled at him and felt a hunger clawing at her. She had felt it earlier, but ignored it then. Now it was once more burning in her gut. Tamping it down, she shivered again and sighed as she melted into him.

She could feel him stiffen under her as he traced a hand down her back. “Feed, Jamison,” he said softly, his hand moving to her neck to squeeze gently. “I’ve taken too much from you and you need to take some back into your body.”

She didn’t argue, didn’t fight, but simply let her fang slide out. Moving over him once more, she bit into the side of his neck, hard and deep, drinking in the blood he so readily offered to her desperately hungry body.

Arching into her, he cupped the back of her head, holding her to him, and let out a deep, needy-sounding moan. Cradling her to him, he stroked her body with light fingers. “Jamison,” he whispered and pressed a kiss to her temple.

Her fingers clenched at his chest as she fed and then, letting out a frustrated growl, hit her fist to him lightly. Finally she forced herself to pull back and sat panting. “Raven.” Her eyes were obsidian with the need. She didn’t understand it and the fear was clear on her face. “I feel so hungry, but I’ve fed more than I normally do,” she whispered and licked at her lips. “Maybe it’s because I normally take bagged?” Her eyes slowly fazed back to the normal blue color they always were.

Staring up at her, Raven frowned and then shook his head. “No,” he breathed out softly. He sat up under her suddenly, the realization hitting him hard and fast. “You’re pregnant, Jamison,” he whispered, cupping her cheeks. Staring at her, he knew that he was right, everything was right. Sliding a hand down to her belly, he pressed his hand gently to her. “You are carrying my child,” Raven said as he tried to figure out the tidal wave of emotions hitting him.

Her hand covered his even as her eyes went wide. “I am?” she whispered and then grinned suddenly at him. “I’m going to have your baby?” Excitement fairly sparked from her as her eyes began to tear up. She moved her hand from his and threw her arms around his neck, holding him close and tight. “We will have a baby. Are you”—she pulled back and looked at him, her expression worried—“are you all right with this?”

Stunned, he nodded slowly. “Yes,” he said softly and then looked into her eyes. “Yes, I think I am, Jamison,” he told her with a hint of a smile. “But only because it’s you.” Pulling her close, Raven kissed her gently. “Are you all right with having my child?” he asked, worried that this would not be part of her plans.

Pulling back so she could look him in the eyes, she stated very carefully, “Yes, yes I am more than happy to have your child, Raven. If I can I will give you a hundred children, but only because they will be made up half of you and half of me.” She touched his lips and grinned. “What better mixture for a child?”

“I’m not sure, Jamison, but if I ever figure it out I will let you know,” he told her quietly. Kissing her gently, he rubbed his hand, with a look of fascination on his face, over her belly. “We’re going to have a baby,” he said softly with a hint of a smile curling his lips.

“Yes, Daddy, we are.” And Jamison couldn’t have been happier had she had her mother-in-law strung up by her innards there in her bedchambers. A chill raced through her body. “Either you are rubbing off on me, or our child has some thoughts they are already projecting.” Not possible, but it was still something that made him grin.

Lifting a brow at her, he tipped his head to her. “What do you mean, Jamison?” he asked softly. Rubbing his thumb over her belly, he leaned in closer and kissed her cheek. “How am I rubbing off on you?” He asked that since they both knew the child was still much, much too young to be projecting to her.

“Because I was just thinking that I couldn’t have been happier if your mother was strung up by her entrails here in our bedroom.” She shuddered now, her entire body quaking. “And that is not a thought I would ever have, Raven, hence why I think that you are rubbing off on me.” She grinned and leaned over so that she could press her lips to his. “And I couldn’t be happier.”

Grunting at her, he smiled faintly and kissed her lightly as he pulled her down with him to lie on the bed. Rolling over, he was partially covering her small form. Sliding his hands over her, he stroked and played with her body as she lay there staring up at the ceiling with a smile curling her lips.

Chapter 11

Three weeks later…

Pushing into the bedroom, Raven frowned. “Jamison, are you in here?” he called out. He’d been looking for her for a while now, each of the house members he’d asked had pointed him in the same direction, and yet he hadn’t managed to find her. Stopping at the entrance to the bathing room, he turned at a sound and found a maid.

“Pardon, sir, I did not know you were in here, I will return later, my lord.” She bobbed a curtsy.

“That’s all right, I was just looking for my wife,” he told her, waving away her need to leave.